Words of comfort for a broken heart

This collection of words of comfort will lift your spirits and heal your soul. When your heart is broken, you need warmth and companionship – and the feeling that you’re not alone.

“When I lost my husband, I felt as if I did not want to go on,” said Kerry on Starting Over in Your 60s – After Your Husband Dies. “Absolutely nothing seemed to matter, and a year down the line my life still seems a pointless exercise. BUT….there are days when I smile at the memories rather than burst into tears. Although it never gets better, the grief does get more manageable. Finding the right words of comfort helped helped me enormously. I’m also working with another widow whose husband died five years ago, and when we are both overwhelmed by a sudden memory (and one never knows what will trigger them) we know it’s okay to cry when your heart is broken. I learnt so much about people as well – some were devils that I thought angels, and others vice versa. I was preyed upon by some and prayed for by others. It is hard, but coping comes with time, and the only consolation I can offer is that you are not alone.”

What really stood out to me in Kerry’s comment was her words, “finding the right words of comfort.” The thoughts and images that help me heal – that give me hope and healing – may not be words of comfort to you.

So, I encourage you to read through this collection slowly. When you find a quotation or thought that stands out to you, write it down. Keep it close by, and read it out loud when you find yourself overwhelmed by pain or grief.

Words of Comfort When Your Heart is Broken

I gathered these tips and comforting words at the request of a reader…

“We were together for over 15 years,” wrote Michelle on Surviving a Breakup – 10 Tips for When Your Relationship Ends. “I really thought we’d stay married forever. Instead, he told me that he doesn’t feel love for me anymore, and that he wants to be free to explore possibilities with other people. How can I get past this? I can’t stand the idea of rebuilding my life and I wish things were the way they’ve always been. I’d appreciate any words of encouragement or comfort that anyone could offer.”

You are not alone

A reader responded to Michelle by saying she comforts herself when she’s sad, heartbroken, or depressed by watching movies that she loves. She finds healing and warmth in watching her favorite actors and actresses, and rewatching movies that make her cry. It helps her see she’s not alone. That’s not my way – though I do love the movie “About a Boy” with Hugh Grant! There’s a lot of pain in that movie, as well as love, connection, and hope. Just like real life.

Different types of comfort are helpful for different types of people, but we all need to know we’re not alone. For this article, I focused on spiritual and emotion words of comfort and healing. I feel secure when I connect with God, because I believe He looks out for me, loves me, and wants the best for me. Other people might find music more comforting (such as the best songs for broken hearts), or their pets, or painting a picture, or even food.

The pain you feel will fade

You hurt. You’re wounded, and you may feel like you’ll never recover. I don’t know how you feel, but I can imagine the depth of your pain. Sometimes there are no words of comfort that heal a broken heart…there’s just the knowledge that someone out there is praying for you. Believe me when I tell you that your pain will ease and your wounds will heal. It’ll take time and you may walk in the shadows longer than you’d like…but your pain will eventually fade. The shadows will lighten and sunshine will once again fill your spirit and soul.

God never promised that life would be easy, or that life would be free from pain, but He has promised that He will always be there when you need Him. He may not give you the answers you seek, and He may not erase the pain you feel…but He is always there, waiting for you. You’re free to tell Him how much it hurts, unburden your sad heart to Him, and you will surely feel His love filling the aching void that has been left in your life.

You will heal if you go into the pain

I remember the exact moment that I lost my sister. She didn’t die; she told me she never wanted to speak to me again. She didn’t give me a reason why, and she refused to talk to me for more than 10 years. I wrote about it in How to Let Go of Someone You Love – it was the most terrible experience of my whole life. Worse than when my grandma died, because my sister chose to cut me out of her life. Worse than when I found out my husband and I can’t have children, and worse than hearing my dog cry out in pain after being attacked by another dog.

But I healed. I never thought I’d overcome my feelings of regret, failure, and confusion…but somehow I found healing and peace. I have to admit that it wasn’t words of comfort that healed me, though. It was opening my heart and soul to the healing flow of God’s divine love.

  • “Let your tears come.  Let them water your soul.”  – Eileen Mayhew.
  • “God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces.”  – Unknown.
  • “God brings men into deep waters, not to drown them, but to cleanse them.”  – John Aughey.

My prayer is that you open your heart to God, and let His love and peace fill your soul. May you find comfort in His word, whether He speaks through Scripture, other people, words of comfort on the internet, or the still, small voice you’ve heard in your head in the past.

You really do have something to look forward to

One of the most difficult parts of losing someone you love is feeling like there’s nothing left for you. No joy, no love, no future. Here are several quotations about healing – and about looking forward, to the future.

“When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal.” ~ Unknown.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” ~ Alexander Graham Bell.

“It has been said that time heals all wounds. The truth is that time does not heal anything. It merely passes. it is what we do during the passing of time that helps or hinders the healing process.” ~ Jay Marshall.

“One tear met another tear floating down the river. Said the first tear, ‘I’m the tear of the woman who lost her lover.’ The second tear said, ‘I’m the tear of the woman who found him.’” ~ Anonymous.

And this one is my favorite:

“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” ~ Jan Glidewell.

A new season is beginning in your life

In How to Stop Crying When It’s Over, I describe how peaceful it is to think of your life as “seasonal.”

That is, there are seasons that include certain people and specific types of love, and there are seasons that don’t involve those people. When it’s over – when a season ends – we have no choice but to accept it.

A Time for Everything

– Ecclesiastes 3:2-8

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

A time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

A time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

A time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

A time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

A time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

A time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Right now, you’re searching for words of comfort because your heart is broken. But soon, this season of your life will end. You will be in a new season. You’ll remember the past with love and a twinge of sadness…but if you allow yourself to heal, you will enjoy a new season in your life.

Your aching heart will find the right comfort food

Here’s a little story about a woman who lost her dog – and how her “words of comfort” were found in a picnic with a friend…

Words of Comfort When Your Heart is Broken

“, a good friend came over with some cheap but delicious Mexican food from La Fresita. She brought a Cuban sandwich and a green chili burrito….the Cuban sandwich was stuffed with thinly sliced pork, onions, tomatoes, grated lettuce, and some secret sauce. And the green chili burrito was also stuffed with a more meatier pork and spicy chili verde. I ate ravenously.

We washed it all down with about two-thirds of a bottle of Charles Shaw (or three-buck Chuck) zinfandel. With a full stomach and slight buzz, I felt whole again. My dear sweet Painter boy who always savored every bite would have totally approved of my comfort food fest. Feeding the hungry heart was just what I needed.” ~ Comfort Food for a Broken Heart by Karyn Zoldan.

What or who has comforted you in the past? You may not be able to recreate that exact environment or person, but hold on to the feeling of healing and being comforted. Allow that old type of healing to refresh your soul and revive your spirit.

“There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.” – unknown.

One last word of comfort when your heart is broken…

Sometimes what seems like the worst thing ever – the most heartbreaking loss you’ve experienced – might actually be the best thing for you, even if you can’t see it. For example, my husband and I can’t have kids. We’re coped with the pain and broken dreams that infertility brings.

I still feel sad and lonely when I see a pregnant woman or when I hold a baby. That pain will never completely go away – though it has faded. There are no words of comfort to heal that broken part of my heart. But, what has always helped me feel better is my belief that I’m not meant to have children. My purpose is to create and write for Blossom, to walk alongside people in pain. My purpose is to write articles to encourage you to look upwards and inwards, and to hold on to what is good, pure, right, and true in your life.

Healing After a Loss

In A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss, Jerry L. Sittser shares how a tragic car accident claimed three generations of his family: his mother, his wife, and his young daughter.

While most of us will not experience such a catastrophic loss in our lifetime, all of us will be faced with tragedy that makes us search for words of comfort in times of loss and grief. A Grace Disguised plumbs the depths of sorrow, whether due to illness, divorce, or the loss of someone we love. The circumstances are not important; what we do with those circumstances is. In experiencing what feels like the end of our lives and our selves, we can come to the beginning of a new life―one marked by spiritual depth, joy, compassion, and a deeper appreciation of simple blessings.

“The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning.” – Ivy Baker Priest.

May you find the right words of comfort, and may you accept and surrender to whatever is happening in your life. May your soul heal, your spirit flourish, and your heart be one less shade of broken.

Turn your face upwards and allow the healing rain to help you Blossom.

xo

blossomtips.com

This collection of words of comfort will lift your spirits and heal your soul. When your heart is broken, you need warmth and companionship – and the embrace that says you’re not alone.

“When I lost my husband, I felt as if I did not want to go on,” said Kerry on Starting Over in Your 60s – After Your Husband Dies. “Absolutely nothing seemed to matter, and a year down the line my life still seems a pointless exercise. BUT….there are days when I smile at the memories rather than burst into tears. Although it never gets better, the grief does get more manageable. Finding the right words of comfort helped helped me enormously. I’m also working with another widow whose husband died five years ago, and when we are both overwhelmed by a sudden memory (and one never knows what will trigger them) we know it’s okay to cry when your heart is broken. I learnt so much about people as well – some were devils that I thought angels, and others vice versa. I was preyed upon by some and prayed for by others. It is hard, but coping comes with time, and the only consolation I can offer is that you are not alone.”

What really stood out to me in Kerry’s comment was her words, “finding the right words of comfort.” The thoughts and images that help me heal – that give me hope and healing – may not be words of comfort to you.

So, I encourage you to read through this collection slowly. When you find a quotation or thought that stands out to you, write it down. Keep it close by, and read it out loud when you find yourself overwhelmed by pain or grief.

Words of Comfort When Your Heart is Broken

I gathered these tips and comforting words at the request of a reader…

“We were together for over 15 years,” wrote Michelle on Surviving a Breakup – 10 Tips for When Your Relationship Ends. “I really thought we’d stay married forever. Instead, he told me that he doesn’t feel love for me anymore, and that he wants to be free to explore possibilities with other people. How can I get past this? I can’t stand the idea of rebuilding my life and I wish things were the way they’ve always been. I’d appreciate any words of encouragement or comfort that anyone could offer.”

You are not alone

A reader responded to Michelle by saying she comforts herself when she’s sad, heartbroken, or depressed by watching movies that she loves. She finds healing and warmth in watching her favorite actors and actresses, and rewatching movies that make her cry. It helps her see she’s not alone. That’s not my way – though I do love the movie “About a Boy” with Hugh Grant! There’s a lot of pain in that movie, as well as love, connection, and hope. Just like real life.

Different types of comfort are helpful for different types of people, but we all need to know we’re not alone. For this article, I focused on spiritual and emotion words of comfort and healing. I feel secure when I connect with God, because I believe He looks out for me, loves me, and wants the best for me. Other people might find music more comforting (such as the best songs for broken hearts), or their pets, or painting a picture, or even food.

The pain you feel will fade

You hurt. You’re wounded, and you may feel like you’ll never recover. I don’t know how you feel, but I can imagine the depth of your pain. Sometimes there are no words of comfort that heal a broken heart…there’s just the knowledge that someone out there is praying for you. Believe me when I tell you that your pain will ease and your wounds will heal. It’ll take time and you may walk in the shadows longer than you’d like…but your pain will eventually fade. The shadows will lighten and sunshine will once again fill your spirit and soul.

God never promised that life would be easy, or that life would be free from pain, but He has promised that He will always be there when you need Him. He may not give you the answers you seek, and He may not erase the pain you feel…but He is always there, waiting for you. You’re free to tell Him how much it hurts, unburden your sad heart to Him, and you will surely feel His love filling the aching void that has been left in your life.

You will heal if you go into the pain

I remember the exact moment that I lost my sister. She didn’t die; she told me she never wanted to speak to me again. She didn’t give me a reason why, and she refused to talk to me for more than 10 years. I wrote about it in How to Let Go of Someone You Love – it was the most terrible experience of my whole life. Worse than when my grandma died, because my sister chose to cut me out of her life. Worse than when I found out my husband and I can’t have children, and worse than hearing my dog cry out in pain after being attacked by another dog.

But I healed. I never thought I’d overcome my feelings of regret, failure, and confusion…but somehow I found healing and peace. I have to admit that it wasn’t words of comfort that healed me, though. It was opening my heart and soul to the healing flow of God’s divine love.

  • “Let your tears come.  Let them water your soul.”  – Eileen Mayhew.
  • “God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces.”  – Unknown.
  • “God brings men into deep waters, not to drown them, but to cleanse them.”  – John Aughey.

My prayer is that you open your heart to God, and let His love and peace fill your soul. May you find comfort in His word, whether He speaks through Scripture, other people, words of comfort on the internet, or the still, small voice you’ve heard in your head in the past.

You really do have something to look forward to

One of the most difficult parts of losing someone you love is feeling like there’s nothing left for you. No joy, no love, no future. Here are several quotations about healing – and about looking forward, to the future.

“When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal.” ~ Unknown.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” ~ Alexander Graham Bell.

“It has been said that time heals all wounds. The truth is that time does not heal anything. It merely passes. it is what we do during the passing of time that helps or hinders the healing process.” ~ Jay Marshall.

“One tear met another tear floating down the river. Said the first tear, ‘I’m the tear of the woman who lost her lover.’ The second tear said, ‘I’m the tear of the woman who found him.’” ~ Anonymous.

And this one is my favorite:

“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” ~ Jan Glidewell.

A new season is beginning in your life

In How to Stop Crying When It’s Over, I describe how peaceful it is to think of your life as “seasonal.”

That is, there are seasons that include certain people and specific types of love, and there are seasons that don’t involve those people. When it’s over – when a season ends – we have no choice but to accept it.

A Time for Everything

– Ecclesiastes 3:2-8

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

A time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

A time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

A time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

A time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

A time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

A time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Right now, you’re searching for words of comfort because your heart is broken. But soon, this season of your life will end. You will be in a new season. You’ll remember the past with love and a twinge of sadness…but if you allow yourself to heal, you will enjoy a new season in your life.

Your aching heart will find the right comfort food

Here’s a little story about a woman who lost her dog – and how her “words of comfort” were found in a picnic with a friend…

Words of Comfort When Your Heart is Broken

“, a good friend came over with some cheap but delicious Mexican food from La Fresita. She brought a Cuban sandwich and a green chili burrito….the Cuban sandwich was stuffed with thinly sliced pork, onions, tomatoes, grated lettuce, and some secret sauce. And the green chili burrito was also stuffed with a more meatier pork and spicy chili verde. I ate ravenously.

We washed it all down with about two-thirds of a bottle of Charles Shaw (or three-buck Chuck) zinfandel. With a full stomach and slight buzz, I felt whole again. My dear sweet Painter boy who always savored every bite would have totally approved of my comfort food fest. Feeding the hungry heart was just what I needed.” ~ Comfort Food for a Broken Heart by Karyn Zoldan.

What or who has comforted you in the past? You may not be able to recreate that exact environment or person, but hold on to the feeling of healing and being comforted. Allow that old type of healing to refresh your soul and revive your spirit.

“There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.” – unknown.

One last word of comfort when your heart is broken…

Sometimes what seems like the worst thing ever – the most heartbreaking loss you’ve experienced – might actually be the best thing for you, even if you can’t see it. For example, my husband and I can’t have kids. We’re coped with the pain and broken dreams that infertility brings.

I still feel sad and lonely when I see a pregnant woman or when I hold a baby. That pain will never completely go away – though it has faded. There are no words of comfort to heal that broken part of my heart. But, what has always helped me feel better is my belief that I’m not meant to have children. My purpose is to create and write for Blossom, to walk alongside people in pain. My purpose is to write articles to encourage you to look upwards and inwards, and to hold on to what is good, pure, right, and true in your life.

Healing After a Loss

In A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss, Jerry L. Sittser shares how a tragic car accident claimed three generations of his family: his mother, his wife, and his young daughter.

While most of us will not experience such a catastrophic loss in our lifetime, all of us will be faced with tragedy that makes us search for words of comfort in times of loss and grief. A Grace Disguised plumbs the depths of sorrow, whether due to illness, divorce, or the loss of someone we love. The circumstances are not important; what we do with those circumstances is. In experiencing what feels like the end of our lives and our selves, we can come to the beginning of a new life―one marked by spiritual depth, joy, compassion, and a deeper appreciation of simple blessings.

My prayer is that you find the words of comfort that can heal your soul and help you move forward in your life. I pray you turn to God, and let Jesus carry you through the fire and the rain.

xo

www.theadventurouswriter.com
words of comfort for a broken heart

A broken heart is oftentimes the only sure way to awaken the sleeping soul. In other words, when your heart is breaking, you’re experiencing a transformation that seems unbearable in the moment, yet it is calling forth an unshakable strength that you didn’t even know you had in you.

words of comfort for a broken heart

“We draw maps of each other’s pasts. Heartbreaks colored in black. Grief outlined in purple. The happiest times shaded yellow. This is how we learn each other. We are so scared and brave. We are so terrified and willing. We rewrite the definition of brave and it is this: love again. love again. love again.” — Fortesa Latifi

Most of us have experienced loss in some form, sometimes minor and sometimes catastrophic. I understand what it’s like to love and to lose, and I also know what it’s like to re-enter the light after sitting in that darkness for so long.

I’ve come to believe, wholeheartedly and with unwavering commitment, that love never dies.

If your heart feels like it’s breaking, remind yourself that love is still present, and nothing we do will ever change that fact. I’m not talking about the kind of love we often think of when we use this word–not romantic, intimate-relationship kind of love, but the all-powerful, ever-present, intelligent energy that supports life.

I know how hard it can be to listen to advice with a broken heart, but this is my attempt to give you a glimmer of hope.

I hope some of these words bring you comfort and light in a dark situation, whatever it is you’re going through right now. Healing is on its way.

1. “Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light.” — Jean Giraudoux

2. Every dusk has its dawn.

3. There is someone who has stood in the same dark place as you. They will assure you that if you wait for the sun to rise again, you will hear the song of hope playing softly with promise.

4. You are not alone, ever, in your thoughts. Ever. Ever.

5. A broken heart means you have loved something, you have tried for something, and you have let life teach you.

“A wounded deer leaps highest.” — Emily Dickinson Click To Tweet

7. Your grief is here to teach you something. It does not ask you to let go of love, but quite the opposite–it asks that you love, again and again.

8. In the depths of sorrow we will eventually find an unwavering light.

9. Your heart is stronger than you realize.

10. Being consumed by anger, sadness, envy, or frustration is somehow, ironically, just what you need to make a positive change.

11. Your experience of grief is powerful, yet so is your ability to love and heal.

“What happens when people open their hearts? They get better.” — Haruki Murakami Click To Tweet

13. None of us has all the answers.

14. We all need help sometimes, and we are wise to seek it, accept it, and praise it.

15. It is okay to be unhappy sometimes. Sometimes, it is normal, healthy, and necessary to be unhappy in order to be happy.

16. The transition through this difficult time is a courageous and honorable journey, and it is one you are meant to pursue.

17. A good life is a collection of moments, some good and some bad, that ultimately form the puzzle of your life. Do not judge the whole picture by one piece of the puzzle, but lay your hope in the pieces that have yet to fall in place.

Love often makes itself visible in pain. Click To Tweet

19. If you feel the tears welling up, let yourself cry. Let your tears carry the emotions out of your system. Let them blot out the darkness and lead you down the road to healing.

20. To your suffering add understanding, patience, love, openness, and the willingness to remain vulnerable.

21. Grief is frightening, painful, overwhelming, and sometimes lonely, yet it is somehow and sometimes the only way to experience a deeper sense of love, joy, and peace. Your grief is uniquely yours, but somehow it is intrinsically connected to everyone and everything in this universe.

“Not all those who wander are lost.” — J.R.R. Tolkien Click To Tweet

23. This too shall pass. This situation is not your final destination, and something good is happening right now on your behalf.

24. Oftentimes, what seems like a painful ending is really the doorway to a necessary new beginning.

25. Some questions do not have answers, and for those questions, the answer is always: love.

26. A broken heart does not mean you are broken. The crack is there to let the light in.

Let your tears come. Let them water your soul. —Eileen Mayhew Click To Tweet

28. Life as we know it may end, but love is eternal. And where there is love, there is life.

29. No time is ever wasted. Every single thing has value, and every stage is a step in your journey.

30. “Never forget, you have value. You are worth time, worth energy, worth worship. Your delicate enchantments are a holy wine. Silver aura of my moon. Song of my air. My afternoon shadows. My divine messenger. The literature of stars is in your very pores.” — Benedict Smith

31. When the sun has set, wipe away your tears so you can see the stars.

32. Every interaction, rejection, and heartbreaking lesson is an opportunity to change yourself.

33. Every time you think you’re being rejected, you’re actually being redirected to something better.

“The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears. Click To Tweet

35. Your wounds become your wisdom.

36. Your heart has infinite depth. Though breaking, it still beats with devotion. Finding yourself in a dark hole of despair means that you’re traveling the depths of your heart and your soul, and when you come out on the other side (which you will) your journey will be marked by a spiritual depth, joy, compassion, and a deeper appreciation of your blessings.

37. “The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right.” Neil Gaiman

38. Where there is pain, there is also love. Where there is sorrow, there is also hope. Where there is darkness, there is always light.

39. A good life is judged not by the leaves that fall, but by the flowers that grow.

Forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember… – Lewis B. Smedes Click To Tweet

41. You cannot change other people. If they are not ready or willing to change, there is no fault or blame to be assigned. This is not their time, but it is your time to make a change.

42. The genuine, loving emotion that breaks your heart is oftentimes the same emotion that will heal it.

“There is no remedy for love but to love more.” — Henry David Thoreau Click To Tweet

44. You are here. You have survived 100% of your worst days. That’s a pretty good track record.

45. From this point forward, your happiness and your unhappiness will be determined not by your circumstances, but by your thoughts about your circumstances.

46. “A final comfort that is small, but not cold: The heart is the only broken instrument that works.” — T.E. Kalem

You may also find comfort in this post about my own lessons learned from loss, or this poem about letting go of hurt and letting the light in.

Please share your own words of encouragement, comforting thoughts, uplifting quotes, or any stories of peace with me in the comments.

Share these healing words with someone you care about today, who might need to read them.

You are loved, always.

With love,

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aimhappy.com

A few readers have reached out over time to ask how I navigated through a broken heart after a tough breakup. There is nothing harder and sadder than being broken hearted, and despite everyone — and I mean everyone — being able to relate to it, there is something so isolating about being in the midst of it, especially as your friends and family carry on with their lives around you. I remember after a particularly hard break up in college, going outside with my mom to sit on a park bench. It was a cool day in June, and just hours before, my boyfriend had dumped me out of the complete blue. His reasons were vague and unexpected; he didn’t love me anymore, he kept saying, over and over, as if repeating it would help me understand. As my mom and I sat in the sunlight, I remember being floored — my world was crumbling around me, but everyone else was going about their day.  There was a person eating a poppyseed bagel, there was someone walking their dog, there was someone else in a hurry. All I could think was, look how they’re living their lives as if everything is okay! It was shocking.

Every breakup is different, and the feelings and emotions can vary depending on the situation. Even so, there is one piece of advice that I think always applies, and that is to trust.

Trust the reasons why the relationship ended.

Trust that time will slowly but surely make things better.

Trust your truest version of yourself, and trust that someone will love that version, exactly as it is.

Trust trust trust.

And do what you have to do to patch together your heart, bit by bit. After the breakup, I set ten reminders on my phone that went off throughout the day. At 10am my phone chimed, “Be kind and patient to yourself.” At noon my phone said, “Fuck him Fuck him Fuck him.” It sounds a little cooky, but it helped, and then one day my phone went off, and I realized I could turn that alarm off, that I didn’t need that reminder anymore. It felt like a triumph. Applaud yourself for those triumphs — for taking a shower, for choosing to turn off a sad song that will make you cry, for making yourself dinner, for unfollowing him on Instagram.

Also — give yourself the time and space to mourn the relationship. One of the hardest parts of a breakup for me isn’t so much the breakup itself (although that is of course still shitty), but realizing that the dreams I had of us together are crashing down. To say goodbye to those narratives, so specific to the relationship you shared, is heartbreaking. Give yourself time to grieve them, to let them each go.

This is a weird analogy, but being heart broken has always reminded me of feeling very, very nauseous. The whole time you’re thinking, anything but this, and all you can do is ride it out. If you’re in the thick of it, I send you the biggest hug. You are riding it out, and we are all rooting for you. XOXO

“You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don’t waste your time on anything else.” — Cheryl Strayed

Photo by Cindy Loughridge.

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