The most important decision our child can make, apart from the decision to follow Christ, is who they chose as their spouse.
Our daughter graduated from college a few months ago, which means the reality of finding a life partner—the right life partner—is no longer something I pray about from a distance. The answer to the prayers my husband and I have prayed for our daughter’s future husband, since before she entered pre-school, looms closer with every passing day.
In the not too distant future, her dad will walk her down the aisle, and we will release her from the safety and love of our care, into the care of a young man who’s identity we don’t yet know.
But he’s out there. And we pray for him
My prayer for my daughter and her future husband is based on God’s Word, because God’s Word is always God’s will (you can find the scripture references for each component of the prayer at the end of the article). Maybe you’d like to make my prayer for my daughter’s future husband, your prayer for your daughter’s future husband.
Here’s what I am praying:
Lord, You created my daughter. You saw her being formed in my womb, and you knew she existed, even before I did.
Besides knowing you as her savior, who she chooses to marry is the most important decision she will ever make. And so Lord, I pray for her. I pray for him.
I pray for them.
God, may my daughter’s future husband love you with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength. May he be a man who loves other people as he loves himself.
God, be working in him, even now, to form his love for you, and for others.
Put people in his life to help him love you. Put circumstances in his life to help him trust you. Put successes in his life to help him praise you.
Lord, may my daughter’s future husband appreciate her goodness and her gifts, and may he value her as his true companion. May he be a godly, servant leader of their home. Make him the kind of man who can say with genuine authenticity, “Follow me, as I follow Christ”.
Lord, help my daughter’s future husband be a hard worker, a man of complete integrity, and a man she can trust to protect her and provide for her. Teach him the value and satisfaction of a job well done.
May my daughter’s future husband be an unselfish man, who loves her as Christ loves his church. Give my daughter a man who is willing to sacrifice himself for her. And Lord, help my daughter never take his sacrifices on her behalf for granted.
God, I pray that my daughter’s future husband would be strong, loving, kind, and wise. Help him live with her in an understanding way. May he validate her strengths, and help her grow in her weaknesses. May she do the same for him.
I pray their life together will be filled with love and laughter. May they always be friends, and never stop being lovers. Give them a home filled with joy.
I pray they will cling to each other through the storms of life. When life gets hard, remind them to turn toward each other, not away from each other. Give my daughter a man who is brave enough to work through difficulties with humility and grace. Give her a man that won’t quit on her, on himself, or on You.
God, I pray that my daughter’s future husband would give himself fully to her, and she to him. Give them deep satisfaction in each other’s embrace. May he be a safe refuge for her; may she be a safe refuge for him.
May their life together be a signpost for others that declares, “God is real and God is good.”
But Lord, until the day he walks into her life, and she walks into his, draw them both close to You. May each of them learn how to depend on You. Always. Give his parents wisdom as they raise him. Give us wisdom as we raise her.
Lord, watch over him. Watch over her.
And bless them both.
Prayer scripture references: Psalm 139:13-16; Matthew 22:36-40; Ephesians 5:23-28; 1 Peter 3:7; 1 Timothy 5:8, Colossians 3:12-19; 1 Corinthians 7:1-5
Donna Jones is a praying mom of three young adult kids, who frequently sit on her kitchen counter just to chat. She and her pastor hubby, JP, planted Crossline Church in Laguna Hills, CA in 2005. Donna travels the country inspiring women to love God in real life, and is the author of three books, including Seek: A Woman’s Guide to Meeting God. Connect with Donna at www.donnajones.org.
Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/Martinan
Welcome to our 14 day journey in “Prayers for our Future Husbands”! We are so excited that you decided to join us for praying for your future husband. This is going to be awesome! And did you know that your future husband needs these prayers? He truly does.
So, of course you can just read these prayers but I would like to ask that you also write these prayers out in your own words in your journal, diary, notebook or whatever works for you. Then, after this 14 day journey, you can save those little prayers in a special box or chest. Then on your wedding day give them to your husband. He can read them whenever he’s having a bad day. He will really love this girls. You can hold onto these prayers forever! But we want them in your own words so that it’s really coming from you and the Lord. Ok, ready to start?! Great! Thank you again for joining! God bless.
Here are the steps simplified:
Step 1.There are 14 payers for you to pray for your future husband for 14 days.
Step 2.We want you as the reader, to read it,
Step 3.Pray it, and
Step 4. Write/or pray it in your own words.
Step 5. Save all your written prayers for your honeymoon! Give your husband one prayer a day on your special honeymoon, it will make it even more special. 😉
But after the 14th prayer it doesn’t have to end there. This 2 week journey is just a jump-start for you! After Prayers for our Future Husbands ends, you can continue to pray in your daily devotions, before you go to bed, when your sitting in the living room, when your doing dishes, ect. Whenever you remember to, just pray!
We hope you will join us in our 2 week prayer journey. Your future husbands need it ladies!
P.S. We also made a 2 week prayer journey for future wives as well! It’s called Prayers for Becoming a Future Wife. Make sure to give that a try as well!
Big News! We now have a sequel to “Prayers for My Future Husband!” Check it out!
Prayers for My Future Husband
Let’s Get Started!
Lord, I don’t know who my future husband will be but you do. So I willingly trust you with my life and his. I want to lift my future husband up to you this weekend Lord. Please give him a great weekend! Help him to enjoy his friends and family. Give him peace and rest from the hard work week. Help him to keep his eyes on you and to encounter your presence in a whole new way! I pray that he would be able to make the right choices and decisions when it comes to his plans this weekend. Help him to be a light and shining example to his friends this weekend. Lord, whatever he does let it be a reflection of his love for you and may he bring you glory. Please help him know you love him and are looking out for him. Thank you Jesus. I love you and want to bring You and my future husband honor.
Lord, please bless my future husband today with the gift of friends. Please bring him godly mentors and companions that will spur him on in the pursuit of godliness. I pray especially that he would have examples of godly men to look up to. I ask that You would give him friends his own age who are seeking You with their lives. Please help him to be surrounded with the people that will draw him nearer to You and not farther away. And please give him friends that will bring laughter and joy into his life.
Dear God, please give my future husband vision and clarity today. Please inspire him with a strong vision for his life. Only you know exactly what his life will hold, and precisely what you want to do through him. Please remind him of that vision every day. Help him to rely solely on you for his strength, and to move forward with confidence. God, I ask you to help him love you more than anything else, running after you, unapologetically seeking you with all his heart. I ask you to give him passion and a selfless, unashamed boldness that can only come from you.
Please help my future husband to be a hard worker. May he work to bring glory to you. Help him to be honest in business and everyday life too. No matter how big or small a thing is. Each and every day even right now help him to make wise choices that bring honor to you. Help him to have integrity and to stand up for what is right.
Lord I pray that my future husband would learn through day to day experiences and trials how to be a good leader. I pray that he would learn the qualities needed to make a great leader for his family and wife. May he learn integrity, strength of mind and above all, love. May he learn to be strong in his beliefs and not back down or give into the ways of the world. I know that being a leader requires boldness and humility, strength but lowliness of heart, wisdom beyond his years but also a meek spirit, I pray that he may learn this and more before he becomes the leader of our family. Bless his day and give him peace and joy. May he be filled with Your Holy Spirit and walk in truth and grace. Thank you for him Jesus! I don’t know who, or where he is or what he is doing right now but I pray for your everlasting joy to be with him. Let him laugh and be lighthearted today. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.
Dear God, I pray that You would bless my future husband as he seeks out the answers to the questions that arise in life. Help him to know that as the Author of all things You have all the answers. And, Lord, help my husband to not be afraid of what the answers might be, but to know that all things have a place in Your plan. Teach him to pursue truth with zeal, but at the same time, Lord, let him accept that he can’t find the answers to some questions on this side of heaven. And, Lord, when the answer is not available this side of heaven, please show him how to hope in You.
Dear God, please help my future husband to love your word, the Bible. Help him to study and learn from it every day. Guide him and give him wisdom when he reads so that he will be able to teach and guide our family someday. Help him to be meditating on it all the time and to not just hear it, but be doing what you tell him to be doing in it as well. Thank you Jesus. Amen.
Dear God, please give my future husband strength and wisdom today. Please give him the strength to face the temptations the world lays constantly before him. Help him in his battles and struggles, and please let him know you’re beside him at all times. Help him grow stronger in you every day. Please grant him wisdom in his decisions in life right now. In everything, please let him pursue wisdom from you. Also, please let him have a wonderful day today.
Thank you so much for everything you’ve done, are doing, and will do in his life.
Lord, please bless my future husband’s Sunday. Let him find rest and peace when he hears your word today. Lord I pray that he would love his family and want to have his own family when he’s married. I pray that he would have a loving heart toward children and that he is soft, gentle and caring. Teach him the abilities that make a great father. Help him to learn now so that when he is a father he will be amazing. Give him amazing leadership skills and a heart to serve his family. Let him recognize the importance of this role and help him to embrace his calling as a future husband and father. Thank you, Lord. Amen.
Dear Lord, I pray that You would give my future husband the humility to ask for help when he needs it. Teach him to turn for help when he needs it rather than trying to face his problems on his own. When he is fighting sins (as I know he will), please show him that in the end, asking for help is worth the momentary humiliation if it means overcoming his vices. Amen.
Dear God, please help my future husband to be a good leader in whatever position you may have him to be in now and in the future. Our home, his work, church, etc may his life and the things that he does be about bringing glory and honor to you. May the other people around him see you through him and want to come to know you. Especially in our home help him to lead our family in a godly way. And give him wisdom and discernment and help in making any hard decisions that might come our way. Thank you Lord. Amen
Lord, please bring my future husband the gift of joy and happiness today! Let his heart be light and care-free. Don’t let the troubles of life or this world bring him down. Let him enjoy life to its fullest today and everyday! Let his laugh be heard and his smiles be seen. Let him be a shining joy to all around him. I pray that his family would encourage him and build him up so that he may do the same for others. Let the clouds of depression and worry see his joy and pass over him. Bring him peace and comfort so that he can experience the fullness of Your goodness Jesus. Thank you Lord! Amen.
Jesus, I pray that you would bless my future husband with the gift of a loving, sweet and tender heart. Let him learn now while he is single to be a loving husband. Help him want to bless others and have a caring attitude. Teach him how to help others while they are hurting. Give him compassion. Let him know how to complete me when I’m stressed or upset. Let him know the right words to say and how to comfort me. And Lord please give him loving friends and family to surround him with so that he never feels alone. Bless his day today and help him feel content and loved! Thank you Lord. Amen.
Lord I pray for strength in my future husband. Help him be strong against the wiles and evils of this world in our day and age. Lord I pray that he would feel strong enough to take on anything this life has to offer him with You by his side. Give him a noble heart, a steadfast spirit and a passionate pursuit for holiness. Let him embrace his calling as a Christian leader in the 21st century and let him know the depth of influence that he has on others. Jesus, give him a fierce love for righteousness and a healthy fear of You, God. Thank you for him Jesus. Who ever he is, wherever he is, thank you for him. I surrender my thoughts and questions, doubts and fears in regards to my future husband. Lord, take control of my love life, I entrust it to You. Please be the King of my heart, be all my hope and dreams. I love you Jesus. Thank you for all that you are doing in my life and in that of my Future Beloved’s! Amen.
Ladies this was the last day in our journey of Prayers for Our Future Husbands. Thank you for joining us and following along! The Lord has truly blessed our time spent writing these prayers. I hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. Again, thank you for joining us. May God truly bless you and your future husband! We love you all so much. God bless!
Get your copy of my new book “Grateful Praise!”
When I speak at college or high school events, sometimes I’ll get asked about the practice of praying for my future husband. More and more I see it addressed on other blogs and by other speakers on the issue. I used to do this, (and write him as well!) but I don’t anymore, nor do I encourage young women to.
I came of age during the True Love Waits Movement. Signing purity pledges, writing love letters to your husband, and praying for your future husband were all standard ‘assignments’ for young Christians who wanted to honor God with their sexuality and their future marriages. I did them all for several years.
As I came up on my 21st birthday, I even bought a “purity” ring and promised myself not to date any guys. It was no huge sacrifice. I didn’t even get asked out on a date until I was 27, so it’s not like I had a line of suitors.
As a young Christian who struggled in the area of sexual integrity and desperately wanted to get married, I was all about doing “waiting for marriage” the right way. Honoring your future husband and “doing him good all the days of your life” was a worthy calling.
I would faithfully pray for him every day- that God would lead him, guide him, and form him into a man after His own heart. I prayed that He would keep working in his heart and keep him from temptation, help him stay strong. I prayed that God would surround him with solid friends, and give him great mentors who could speak into his life.
I prayed that, even if he were in a relationship, he would treat her well, and respect her boundaries. I prayed that he would become a Godly man and leader, that he would be wise with money, a gentle communicator and growing in the knowledge of God.
And, of course, I prayed that God would hurry up and bring him already.
Then, as I began to date men, work with men at church, and deal with my own biological brothers, I realized something:
All of my prayers for my future husband should be prayers for every man in my life.
They are not exclusively for my husband. They are prayers that I should have for every man know. I want that for my brothers, the men in my small group, my pastors. I pray it for my friends’ husbands, for my friends who are husbands, even the guys I date… even after I’m done dating them. Some of the men I used to date are now newly married. Of course I want them to be great husbands and fathers! Just because someone isn’t my husband doesn’t mean I somehow wish he would be a horrible loser.
No, I only want my husband to be a strong Godly man. The rest of them can be wimps for all I care. -prayed no Christian woman ever.
So, I made it a practice to pray the above things for every man I know, which will one day, hopefully, include my future husband.
I also realized that the best way to stay discontent is to pray for someone who might not even exist.
Understand this. You are not promised a husband. You are promised many things. A husband is not among them. When you pray for your future husband- not “dear God please can I have one?” but “dear God please be with my future husband today as he’s at work…”- you’re making an assumption that isn’t grounded in truth. In my experience, it’s a surefire way to keep you discontent and frustrated.
It goes the other way too.
Why would I pray for God to make me a Godly wife when I am, in fact, not a wife?
The only difference between a Godly wife and a Godly woman is that one is married and the other isn’t. So, praying that God would make me a Godly wife is a frustratingly futile prayer. I can’t do anything about it because I’m not a wife.
To me, it makes far more sense to pray to be a Godly woman and work on that. That’s something I can do now. Being a wife is completely out of my control.
We’re praying God would make us Godly wives, and assuming an identity we don’t actually have.
But I think some of us single girls get trapped there in that place. We’re praying that God would make us Godly wives, so we’re assuming an identity we don’t actually have. In order to cope with that, we imagine a husband. That way we can pray with a purpose: “God make me a Godly wife fit for this imaginary husband I just invented.” And we pray like that.
Instead of praying for a husband in the sense of “God, please bring one, please, please, puleeeze!” (which I pray from time to time) we pray for him, the person, the individual man, as if we already know him. In reality, it’s fantasy, shrouded in prayer so it looks holy. At the core of it all, though, you’re imagining this person exists.
You’re forming a spiritual and emotional intimacy with a figment of your imagination.
When you imagine a husband, you imagine all of those things that come with having a husband (ie sex), and now you’ve got sexual frustration in the mix. So you’re not only discontent, even desperate, but you’re sexually frustrated.
You’ve concocted this world in which you are a wife. You’re creating one-sided emotional intimacy with him and awakening desires that cannot be satisfied. It’s a recipe for struggle.
You would think that praying for your future husband would help keep you pure.
It’s a good motivation, right? But I have found the opposite to be true. When I first started my one-on-one counseling for porn addiction, I thought about what could be making my struggle worse. One of the things on the list was my journals to my future husband. Every time I wrote to him I would get so frustrated that he wasn’t here yet.
If you think about the reasons the Bible gives for celebrating singleness, what’s the most prominent one? Single people have time to focus on the things of the Lord and not be concerned about their husband/wife. If I’m spending my single time concerned about my future husband- devoting time and emotional energy to him- I’m off focus.
Don’t get me wrong, I want to be married. One day truly hope to be, but for now, I’m not. The best way for me to keep focused, stay pure, and not get frustrated, is to choose not to “interact” with him.
I don’t pray for my future husband. I don’t single him out of the pack. Every hope and dream I have for him is the hope and dream I have for every man I know. It makes me a better friend and a better sister. Some day, maybe, it will make me a better wife.
It’s not a big secret that I’ve been praying for my future husband for years. That’s one reason why I was thrilled when I was given the opportunity to review a book called Praying for Your Future Husband. It’s a short, sweet book by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer. These two women have prayed for their future husbands and have written books for girls in which the heroines prayed for their future husbands. Both women have also prayed and are praying, still, for their daughters’ future husbands.
Praying for Your Future Husband is a powerful book that may light a stick of spiritual dynamite under your heart as you read and ponder how you can pray – or pray better – for your future husband.
“When your heart connects through prayers to the One who is the source of true love, you’ll find that praying for your future husband will wondrously result in your heart being changed. And when your heart is changed, your life is transformed.”
(Praying for Your Future Husband)
Praying for Your Future Husband is good – very good. I think it’s written for teens and I suspect it’s also written for girls who date, but that isn’t a good reason why a twenty-something girl who prefers the idea of courting to dating shouldn’t read the book. Why? Because Robin and Tricia are writing from their hearts and their stories – writing just to encourage the girls of this generation to pray for the guys they’re going to marry. They’re honest. They’re funny. And they’re both convicting and inspiring.
‘When your heart is changed, your life is transformed.’Click To Tweet
Part of me wishes I’d read this book ten or fifteen years ago and part of me hopes I’ll have a daughter someday and she’ll read it when we’re praying, together, for her future husband. Praying for Your Future Husband is subtitled Preparing Your Heart for His and it’s a lovely touch – the combining of encouragement to pray for that unknown man, and for your own heart.
What girl can’t feel encouraged to pray when she reads a book that prompts her to pray…
- …for His Heart
- …that He Will Be a God Lover (a lover of God)
- …for Patience
- …for Understanding
- …for Trust
- …for Loyalty and Faithfulness
- …for Strength
- …for Protection
- …for Intimacy
- …for “The List” (the list of things a girl wants her future husband to be)
- …for Contentment
- …for Commitment
But Praying for Your Future Husband is more than a prayer list. Each of the items on this “list” is a chapter in the book. Robin and Tricia tell their stories. They invite the reader to draw parallels to her own life. They provide a prayer for a girl to pray for her future husband and another prayer to pray for her own heart. And then they provide a space for personal thoughts and a list of questions to ponder and discuss. There are Bible verses and inspirational quotes sprinkled throughout the chapters. And there are stories – there are lots and lots and lots of stories. They’re all told by a girl – a girl just like me (or you) – and they tell how she prayed and God answered her prayers for her future husband in wonderful ways.
Mrs. Gunn and Mrs. Goyer – both happily married for decades – don’t forget to address the issue of singleness. Does praying for my future husband guarantee that he’s out there somewhere? Well, no, Robin and Tricia make it clear that prayer isn’t a way of demanding the things we pray for, but is “an extraordinary mystery”.
Prayer isn’t a way of demanding the things we pray for; prayer is an extraordinary mystery.Click To Tweet
One of the stories is narrated by a woman who didn’t marry until she was in her forties. And another is by a woman in her thirties who dreams of children’s car seats in the back of her car, who shares her heart and her story as she prays for her future husband and…waits. Mrs. Gunn and Mrs. Goyer encourage their readers to realize that, “He created us, and He desires the best for us. God always gives His best to those who leave the outcomes to Him.”
Secure in that wonderful fact, what can we do, but pray…?
Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer don’t just tell us to pray, they invite us to pray. They provide a list, at the end of the book, of 52 ways for a girl to pray for her future husband – each one motivated by a Bible verse. And they explore the “why” and the “how” simply, clearly and in such a full-of-faith way that it’s inspiring.
“What sort of changes will God bring about in the life of your future husband as a result of your praying for him now? We don’t know. As you pray for him, what sort of changes will God initiate in your heart? We don’t know that either. But we do know there’s only one way to find out.”
(Praying for Your Future Husband)
Praying for Your Future Husband has renewed my vision to pray for my future husband and I’m sure it’ll do the same for any girl who reads the book.
(originally published in 2011)
Photography: JenniMarie Photography