Pray for my husband has been in the sin of adultery with a woman almost a year now. I love the lord very much. We have been married for twenty one years. Please pray that he stops seeing her that she turns her back on him, gives her life to the Lord.
That our marriage is restored, that my husband falls in love with me all over again. That my husband gives his life back to Jesus. He all ways says he is going some where els but I can all ways tell when he has been with her. I pray day and night for him. I am in great despair please I beg you remember me in your prayers. Thank you so much for your time. God bless you.
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Strong faith in God is by itself no recipe for fidelity with a spouse. Close to the Almighty? You may not have a prayer.
Just go to church, or synagogue, mosque or temple. That could keep you faithful on more than one level, a new study suggests.
Attendance at religious services is the only faith-related activity that predicts improved chances of fidelity in marriage, according to the research.
Other factors, including prayer, were found to have no unique bearing, statistically, on whether couples fooled around on each other. In fact, those who said religion was very important to them but who didn’t get to church often were more likely than others in the study to have had an affair.
Survey participants who rarely if ever attend services were about four times more likely to have had an affair compared to those who attend services with great frequency.
What’s going on?
Attending services perhaps means that an individual is hearing religious teaching on marital fidelity and the general importance of marriage, the researchers suggest. The assumption is they’re more likely to practice what’s been preached.
But the researchers also figure that attendance implies a shared commitment by spouses and a strong network of social support.
“Individuals often marry other people who are similar to them in a variety of ways, including religiousness,” explained researcher David C. Atkins of the Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, Calif.
“We think that sharing similar values, incorporating values and practice into one’s marriage and family, and being part of a worshipping community all may be a part of this finding between religious attendance and infidelity,” Atkins told LiveScience. “Prayer, belief in God, strong faith etc. in the absence of attendance does not show this same relationship.”
Atkins and Fuller colleague Deborah E. Kessel detail their findings in the May 2008 issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family.
The religion factor
In one past survey, 23 percent of men and 12 percent of women reported having an affair at some point in their marriages, Atkins and Kessel note, adding that previous studies have consistently suggested that more religious individuals are less likely to have had affairs compared to the less religious. (Sex surveys are thought to be frequently skewed, however, because people lie about the topic.)
The researchers sought to learn what aspects of religion might predict fidelity. The study was based on a review of data from the 1998 General Social Survey (GSS) conducted by the National Opinion Research Center. The surveys consisted of face-to-face interviews with questions related to religion and spirituality.
The new study “calls into question the idea that beliefs without behavior may serve a protective factor with infidelity,” Atkins and Kessel conclude.
As an aside, money, or lack of it, can also suggest infidelity, the study found. Those earning between $40,000 and $60,000 a year were the least likely to report having an affair. And people previously divorced were 2.5 times more likely to report an affair in their new marriages.
- Sex Quiz: Myths, Taboos and Bizarre Facts
- 10 Things You Didn’t Know About You
- A Brief History of Human Sex
These marriage restoration prayers are a guideline on how to pray for your marriage. Pray in faith, that God will move on your behalf. There is no guarantee you will not have problems in your marriage, even if you are a Christian. But, God has promised never to leave or forsake us.
All marriages will have trials and tribulations. Statistics can be quite discouraging, as over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Christian marriages are fiercely under particular attack because the enemy does not want strong spiritual families.
If an enemy can destroy the family unit, he can come in and wreak havoc on the parents to the children. The good news is, God has ordained marriage and wants your marriage to succeed even more than you can imagine. He has not abandoned or forgotten you or your children.
Joel 2:24 And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.
How to Pray Prayers for Marriage Restoration
We can not control others, and God will not go against a persons’ will. He can, however, change hearts. He can bring about situations that change hearts and minds. Pray that God will touch the heart of your spouse.
The Holy Spirit will go to places we can not go, to accomplish things we cannot. These prayers are just a guideline for how to pray. When praying the prayers below, use the Word of God, because it a powerful tool against the works of darkness.
Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
Insert the name of the person you are praying for to make the prayer personal. Do not be discouraged if things do not change right away, continue to thank God for the victory and the restoration of your marriage.
Submit your Prayer Request
Continue to Believe God for your Marriage
When going through problems in your relationship, it is easy to want to withdraw into yourself and become paralyzed with fear and depression. I encourage you to continue to attend church and consider joining a prayer group. This will provide spiritual strength and support. You will find the Lord will meet you during these times of worship to encourage and strengthen you.
Also, if you are involved in ministry, continue to minister. Remember when the enemy is not only attacking your spouse, he is attacking you. Remain prayerful and consider praying for others who are having difficulties in their marriage. Proverbs 11:25 The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself.
Prayer of Salvation
Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus. I believe that you are the son of God and that you died for the sin of the whole world. I admit that I have not done everything right. I repent of my sins and want you to change my life. Forgive my sins and come into my heart, and wash me with your blood.
I believe that you are the son of God and that you died for the sin of the whole world. I admit that I have not done everything right. I repent of my sins and want you to change my life. Forgive my sins and come into my heart, and wash me with your blood. Amen.
Prayer for a Discouraged Husband
Father, I come before you. I ask that you do a new thing in his life. Let him experience your divine love and grace. Cover him with the precious blood of Jesus. Lord, you said in your word, ” for this cause shall a man leave, his mother and father and the two shall become one flesh.” Unite us as never before and let him feel my love and support.
I cancel every assignment of the enemy to make him feel inadequate. Help me to show greater love, respect, and affection. Cause my husband to surrender every weight and burden to you Lord and bring restoration to his/her heart and mind.
Help him to trust you and seek your guidance in everything. I command every burden to be broken off his life right now in the name of Jesus. Bring him into the full knowledge of you will and cause him to be the husband and father you have called them to be. Let him walk in victory and wisdom in all he does. In the Jesus name. Amen!
Prayer against the Spirit of Adultery
Lord, I bring my marriage to you today. I discovered __________ is having an affair. I ask that you restore and heal my marriage. I know you are the restorer of the broken. Help me to be strong, and continue to seek your face.
Help me to continue to take authority over this situation. Father, you told me you have given me the power to step of serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy! So, I bind every ungodly soul tie ______ has with this person! I break and destroy every plan the enemy has to hurt my family.
I pray a wedge between them, right now in the name of Jesus, and I command that all connections with this person be destroyed, right now, and I cancel every assignment of the enemy! I commit _______ to you and ask that you take out the stony heart and give _____ a heart that loves and fears you.
Father, in the name of Jesus, open _______ eyes, and cause the scales to be removed. Holy Spirit, cause ______ to be convicted of their sin. Let them no longer find enjoyment in this ungodly relationship. Remind _____ of the vows he made before you. Lord send Christians in their path to share the light and life to _______. I thank you for healing and restoring my marriage, in the name of Jesus. Amen
Prayer for your Husband
Father, I bring this couple before you today. I ask you will touch the heart of this husband that he might know your divine love. Whatever he is seeking that is not in you will let him find only emptiness.
I bind everything that is separating him from you. Send people to him to share the Gospel of your son, and let them man surrender to the highest God. Let him be, saved, healed and restored, right now, in Jesus name!
Remind him of his commitment and vow he made to his wife before you. Father, you said the king’s heart is in your hand, so I know this husband’s heart is also in your hand! Turn his heart back to his wife and family in the name of Jesus. I speak restoration of the love and this marriage, in the Name of Jesus. Amen
Prayer for Your Wife
Father in the name of Jesus, I thank you for this woman. You have said for this cause shall a man leave his mother and father and the two shall become one flesh. Father, I cancel the assignment the enemy has set forth to destroy this family.
You are the restorer of the broken. I ask that the Love of God which passes knowledge will arrest this wife. Open her eyes and her heart to you. Send laborers in her path, to minister God’s love, mercy, and His Salvation. We call it done in Jesus name!
Prayer for Marriage Restoration
Move on behalf of this couple and bring restoration to this relationship. Father, in the name of Jesus, I decree this man’s heart, is turned back to his wife, and the wife to the husband. Bring healing and restoration to their home.
Where there is no love, create love, where there is no peace, bring peace, where there is trouble, calm the storms of life, where there was confusion, bring understanding. I ask that every obstacle bringing this separation be removed, and cast into the sea, and this marriage be restored, and made whole. In Jesus name. Keep me posted! God Bless you!
Marriage restoration is a process. It is the process of changing not only your spouse but you as well. Take all of your cares to the Lord because he is the author and finisher of your faith. May the spirit of Christ cover and comfort you as you believe for the healing of your marriage.
The following is a true testimony written by Nancy Anderson edited from the excellent book, Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome. Nancy tells what happened to her marriage with her husband Ron after it was discovered that she was having an affair with another man she had worked with. After a long series of circumstances including leaving her husband for a period of time, she eventually came to the realization she wanted to work to put their marriage back together again.
Despite all she had done, her husband graciously agreed to do so. When she called her parents and gave them a tearful confession of what had happened, her parents affirmed their love for both of them and expressed interest in helping them rebuild their marital relationship.
After traveling a long distance to their home this is what Nancy wrote:
We arrived at my parents’ home late in the evening. After a lot of hugs and a few tears, we went into their family room. After the usual small talk, my Dad spoke the unspoken. “What’s your plan?”
My husband, Ron, leaned forward and said, “Plan? Plan for what?”
“You two are going to have to figure out why your marriage fell apart, how to fix it, and how to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
Ron replied, “Well, I don’t know if we need to do all that. I don’t even want to talk about what she did. It’s too painful. Nancy’s back home now — we’ll just move on from here.”
Dad continued, “It doesn’t work that way. If you rebuild a house on a cracked foundation, it might be all right for a while; might even feel solid and stable. But when the storms come, the crack will split the house. And the Bible tells us that a house divided won’t stand. If you don’t repair the foundation of your marriage, it won’t survive. The memory of Nancy’s betrayal and the guilt you’ll force her to carry will be unbearable—for both of you. I don’t think you’ll be able to move on until you, Ron, make one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make.”
“What decision is that?”
“Has Nancy told you she’s sorry for what she’s done?”
“Yes, she has apologized to me several times.”
“Did she ask you to forgive her?”
“No, not in those exact words.”
Asking for Forgiveness
Dad turned to me and continued, “When you tell someone you’re sorry, it’s very different from asking for their forgiveness. Your ‘sorry-ness’ is your decision. But when you ask someone to forgive you, that’s their decision. It’s difficult because it gives all the power to the other person.”
“That’s a scary thought,” I said, without meaning to say it aloud.
Then he spoke to Ron, who looked confused and apprehensive. “When you forgive someone, you make a choice to banish the offense from your mind and your heart. Jesus said that after He forgives us, our sins are as far away as the East is from the West. In other words, they are pardoned. Not because we’re not guilty, but because we are. Our pardon is undeserved — it’s a gift to us from God.”
He continued, “If you decide to forgive Nancy, you can never use her sin against her. God will give you the strength to start a new life together. If you choose not to forgive, if you want to hold on to the pain, or punish her, and keep her wound open, that will be your choice. But if you choose that, I don’t think you’ll stay married. You have biblical grounds to divorce her, but you don’t have to. It is your decision. I want you both to pray about what I’ve said, and make your decision. We will continue this conversation in the morning.”
After a long and restless night, we met again. The three of them were sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for me. I felt like the adulterous woman wearing the Scarlet Letter on the way to her hanging. If Ron would not forgive me, the noose would tighten around my neck and the floor would seem to drop away. I was completely at his mercy.
Avoiding eye contact, I sat directly across from Ron. I asked my dad, “How do we do this? I want to ask Ron to forgive me, but what do I say?”
“If you’ve decided to ask Ron’s forgiveness, tell him what you want to be forgiven for, and then simply ask him the question. Ron will decide whether to forgive you or not. You ask; he answers. It’s the simplest thing you two will ever do — and the hardest.”
Ron had his head down so I couldn’t read his eyes. I thought, “What if I ask Ron for mercy and he denies me? What am I going to do if he starts to lecture me or list off all my sins?”
I looked over at my sweet, wounded husband and saw the wide-eyed face of a frightened twelve-year-old boy. I spoke quickly so that I wouldn’t lose the safety of the moment. “Ron, I’ve betrayed you mentally, spiritually, and physically. I’ve lied to you and deceived you. I have no defense, no excuses. I’ve sinned against God and against you. Can you — will you please forgive me?”
He leaned forward, never letting go of my eyes. The little boy was gone as my strong and confidant husband took my hands in his and said, “Nancy, we’ve both done and said terrible things to each other. Our marriage was a mess — and a lot of it was my fault. But I take a stand today to change all that. You have betrayed me, but I choose to forgive you.”
We both began to cry and our tears mixed with divine love that flowed through the room. Our hearts were knit together—as one. We began again with a new, solid marriage foundation.
After we made the decision to reconcile and reform our marriage, we immediately sought advice from many different sources. We went to a Christian marriage counselor, who helped us learn to communicate more effectively. We also read several books about “starting over” and attended some marriage retreats and workshops.
One of the most important things we did was join a wonderful church and faithfully attend worship services and adult Sunday school classes. We received solid biblical teaching from a godly pastor, and we acted on his instruction.
The transformation was a slow process. We’d developed many destructive habits, and some of them took years to die. We decided to stay together and act lovingly toward each other, and eventually our feelings caught up with our actions. We learned that married love is not a feeling. It is a decision — and we decided to love each other.
Since our reconciliation in 1980, we’ve completely rebuilt our marriage. We had to destroy the old foundation—selfishness—and rebuild upon the rock—Jesus. We used a perfect blueprint—the Bible—and now our home stands firm.
Also, we also created a new landscape for our marriage, planting hedges around it for protection. What are hedges? Hedges are boundaries. In Mark 12:1 Jesus said, “A man planted a vineyard and set a hedge around it.” First, the man planted a vineyard. Think of your marriage as a vineyard. You “planted” it the day you said, I do.
The man in the parable placed a hedge around his vineyard. Why? Several reasons: to protect it from intrusion by animals and thieves; to keep his vines inside his vineyard; and to separate his territory from his neighbor’s.
A hedge makes the statement, “Private Property, No Trespassing.” The symbolic hedges around our marriages serve the same purposes. As married couples, our goal, as co-owners of our vineyard, is to keep the good things in —and the bad things out.
I also refuse to entertain the stray thoughts anymore. Instead, I replaced them with images of the new life that Ron and I were building. I also discovered that encouraging others with our story of restoration gave a purpose to our pain. This summer, we will celebrate our 27th wedding anniversary and I’m thrilled to tell you that our marriage is strong, loving, and healed.
Adapted from the book, Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome, published by Kregel Publications. As some reviewers have said —which we agree, “This is wisdom born of tragic but genuine experience. Because Nancy Anderson nearly ruined her marriage due to infidelity, she truly knows the misery that an affair can cause. Her honesty, vulnerability, and repentance provide marital lessons guaranteed to revitalize and strengthen couples who are susceptible to the lure of an affair. She does a terrific job telling her compelling U-turn story of rebellion, repentance, and restoration.” This really is a very good book for every Christian couple to read! We highly recommend it.
Author Nancy Anderson and her husband, Ron, conduct couples’ retreats and marriage seminars to help others to predict, prevent or pardon infidelity. You can read more from Nancy at NancyCAnderson.com.
Tagged: forgive spouse, forgiveness in marriage
Filed under: Surviving Infidelity