How to pray for a relationship to work

A prayer for love has to be something you do no a regular basis. Love and relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives, because our relationships will either lift us up, or tear us down.

Yet praying for love tends to be something that we don’t often do. Maybe we’re afraid to go to God with our love life. Maybe we’re getting discouraged that our prayers aren’t being answered. Or maybe, just maybe, we don’t know how to pray for love.

Prayer For Love Vs. Worry About Love

It took me a while to grasp how to pray for love. Because I’ve always had a tendency to think about love, and worry about love, rather than pray about it. 

I’m quick to analyze, figure out, and try to put the pieces together. But it takes me a while to turn to prayer. 

I’m realizing that my tendency to over-analyze is the opposite of what God’s word tells me to do.  All through Scripture Jesus is challenging us: Don’t just dwell on things, pray about them. 

Prayer is the act by which we mentally hand over our problems, concerns, fears, desires, and dreams to someone who actually has the power to control. 

And it makes so much sense, because if we’re going to allow these things to fill our brain, we are better off doing it in a way that has the power to impact the things that are weighing us down, rather than simply allowing them to consume us. 

If you find yourself consumed by your love life – or lackthereof, here are some ways to mentally and prayerfully hand those things to the One who can actually do something about it. Here are 8 ways to pray for love. 

Pray Like This: 8 Prayers For Love

#1: Pray that God would give you a relationship (Matthew 7:7)!

God’s word challenges us to ask and bring our needs before God.  Anything and everything. As long as our hearts are aligned with His, there are no limits on what we can ask.  What are your deepest needs and desires when it comes to a relationship? What do you need God to do in your relationship? Let Him know.

#2: Pray that He would grant you patience and insight to wait for a good one (Isaiah 40:31).

Waiting on God is never easy, because once again, it is a reminder that we are not in control.  But through the time of waiting, ask God to change you, nourish you, and fill you so that you are empowered and prepared to take the next steps when the timing is right.   

#3: Pray that He would be working out anything unhealthy in your life (Jeremiah 33:8).

Some of our baggage and sin we can recognize, and some we can’t.  As you seek to enhance your love life, be sure to ask God to help you recognize and heal all the things in your life that aren’t lining up with His best.  Seek to get to the bottom of your sins, and ask for His healing power to be at work in your life.

#4: Pray that He would shape your heart for nourishing interactions with others (Colossians 3:12-14).

It’s important to learn how to love, rather than simply longing to be loved.  When your heart is open to loving and edifying others the way it was meant to, your relationships will be enriched and empowered.

#5: Pray that He would bring healing into your past so that you are free to embrace the present (Philippians 3:13-14).

We are called to move forward, and forget what is behind.  Sometimes, it’s easy to get stuck on our past and be paralyzed from living in the present.  No matter what kinds of things your past may hold, ask God to be at work in your past so that you are free to live in the moment and embrace your present.

#6: Pray that He would protect your emotional world and give you wisdom of how to set healthy boundaries (Proverbs 4:23).

I talk a lot about guarding our hearts and how to practically do that, but how often do we actually pray about our hearts and emotional worlds?  God longs to be a part of our emotions just as much as our spiritual life. He is a holistic God, who longs to interact with our mind, body, and soul.  Give Him a chance by opening your emotional life to Him through prayer.

#7: Pray that He would open your eyes to the joy of doing sex His way (Hebrews 13:4).

It’s so easy to focus on what we can’t do before marriage, and end up harboring bitterness and resentment.  But what if we were to ask God to open our eyes to doing life His way? What if we were to plead with Him to download His heart onto ours, so that we could truly understand what is best for our lives?  Rather than struggling with His plan, let’s ask Him to reveal His heart to ours, particularly in the area of sex and sexuality, so that we can be freed to trust Him without bitterness or regret. (More on this in Chapter 8 of True Love Dates)

#8: Pray that God would be the focus of your life now and forever (Psalm 37:4).

At the end of the day, no matter how we view it, there is no gift that is greater than the Giver.   Whether we feel that or not, it doesn’t cease to be true. May we continue to bring this request before God, so that He can turn our hearts to Him as our greatest delight and desire, because perspective has the power to change everything.

This week, rather than focus on your problems, worries, or what you don’t yet have, focus on what you do have: a direct line to the One who controls all things, including your precious heart.  It’s time to actually do some real work in the area of our love life and relationships instead of wasting our mental energy away.  It’s time to pray for love.

Want to learn how to REALLY pray for your future love life in a way that will change everything? If you enjoyed this article, you’re going to LOVE my new in-depth program, guiding you into 21 specific days of praying for your love life along with a detailed prayer journal with activities.

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DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter! 

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May these relationship prayers help you to build a full, healthy, and warm relationship with your significant other, or help you find romance.

We also provide links for prayers to help you with other relationships.

Prayer to Heal a Relationship

“Almighty God, hear this prayer.”

Dear Lord, I offer you this prayer, to help me with my current relationship situation. Please take away all the pain and hurt in my heart. Fill it with love, joy, patience, and understanding.

Bless me and my partner, so that we may never surrender to whatever challenges that come our way. Fill our hearts with love for each other, and may you make each one of us realize each other’s worth. Please touch the heart of my partner,fill it with much love for me.

Make our complicated relationship become uncomplicated. I seek for your mercy and blessing that you may allow us to spend the rest of our lives with each other. Please make this feeling mutual for both of us. Lead us not into temptations. Guide us wherever we go. Always put us in each other’s heart and mind. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer.

I love you. Amen.

Rekindling a Relationship

Miscommunication in a Marriage

Dear Lord, you know what path I am on right now and that I am in agony. I am having a disharmony in my married life. You have instituted marriage since You found that it is not good for man to be alone.

I deeply believe that You have given me this person to love and to hold for the rest of my days. The Bible has taught me that a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Come and be with us, Lord, for only You can make two broken hearts understand each other. You are the King of Peace and I know You are able to change any sad situation in my life.

Father, I know it is Your will that we should lead a loving and peaceful life with one another. Hear me, dear god, to fill us both with more love and to understand each other better to bring unity to our relationship. Help me become more understand to my partner’s needs and feelings.

Grant me wisdom that I may know how to deal with this unlikely situation so I can build a house in Your glory. In Jesus’ name I pray, O Lord. Amen.

Read: Prayers for Forgiveness

Prayer for Family Unity

Dear God, thank you for the gift of family that you have given me. You know my heart hurts because of the disharmony in my family. I have lost my peace and my health because of the messy situation in our home.

I have no one to turn to but You, Lord. You alone can understand the hearts of Your followers as You have created each and every one of us. Only You can bring together the hearts of Your men together. Help me forgive other family members, O Lord. Let my family not defile Your name by this disunity. Help us forgive one another of the mistakes we have done to each other and bring us back together in Your name, Father God.

Fill each one of us with your love and understand so we can fully exalt Your name in glory. I know that you will bring back the peace and unity that was once present in our home. I ask this in the precious name of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Prayers for Finding Love

Finding someone to love can be difficult. This prayer will help guide you on the path to true love.

Prayer to Find a Companion

“Almighty God, hear this prayer.”

Almighty God, hear this relationship prayer.
As You are first in my heavenly heart and mind and spirit,
so do I desire a companion for my earthly heart and mind and being.
Guide me to the partner You know is perfect for me.
Help me walk in faith until that time of our first meeting.

Show me how I can become a partner worthy of love.
Then guide me through every stage of our relationship, so that,
as we move ever closer to You, we grow closer to each other in Love, in Joy, and in Faith.

Thank You God, for hearing my prayer.

Amen!

Prayer to Find a Life Partner

Heavenly Father, You created this world and all its inhabitants. You found that man is not good to be alone. I pray this to You, O Lord, that I am in need of a partner for my life.

You have showed us in the Bible that finding the right partner made numerous couples live a happy life. Bless me, Father, that I may build a family like theirs. I believe, Lord, that You do not deny Your children their joy and happiness.

I pray that the loneliness in my heart will be gone soon. I pray this to You, O Lord. Amen.

Scripture About Relationships and Love

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”

See what the Bible has to say about it, check out these Bible Verses about Relationships, and Bible Verses about Love.

Prayer Request: Post Your Own “Prayer for Relationship and Prayer Request”

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If you’d like, you can post your prayer below so the PrayWithMe community can help pray with you.

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Don’t post with ALL CAPS, and try to use proper spelling and grammar.

If you can, help pray for others and post comments of support.

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Prayer is one of the most selfless and amazing things you can do for a person, especially someone that you love dearly. It is a way of being grateful and thankful for that special someone or a group of people you love to be with you. It is about taking out your time and focuses your energy and prays for the blessings of God on their behalf.

Oftentimes, when people pray, they will pray for things that they desire. They ask God for help, give them love, guidance, etc., just like a wish list. Take a step back from that and pray for someone else is not only taking you out of the center of attention, but also giving that person to God. When you pray for someone, you are performing a selfless act of hoping someone will be better, healthy, happy, and always be blessed. Not many people are willing to pray for other people. However, things can be a little different when it comes to people you love. We are willing to sacrifice and do something more for the ones that we love.

If you love a man, your boyfriend, your partner, fiancé, husband, significant other, pray for him. It is the best gift that you can give and the best thoughts you can have for him. If you love your children, pray for their safety as well as their wisdom. Your knowledge and tips will be incomplete, but God knows their situation and will bless him with the wisdom to navigate their lives. If you love your parents, pray for them and tell them that you love them all the time. Pray for your relationship that your parents will be blessed by God.

Whatever your situation, include prayer. Praying is not the only thing that you can do for your lover, but also your family members, your parents, your children, your friends, your neighbors, and also the people in this world.

So now that you know who you should pray for, but how are you going to do it? Here are a few good suggestions for you.

Suggestions

1. Pray that God will give you a relationship.

God’s word challenges us to ask and brings our needs before God. When your heart is in harmony with His, there are no limits on what you can ask. When it comes to a relationship, what are your deepest needs and desires? Let God knows and prays with your heart. Even if you are single or when you need a listening ear, just pray sincerely and God will send His blessings to you.

2. Pray that God will grant you patience and insight to wait for the right person.

Things may not happen immediately right after every prayer. Sometimes, God is planning for someone better to come into your life, you will never know because God always has a better and bigger plan for you. After your prayer, have the patience to wait for miracles to occur. And during the time of your wait, ask God to change you, nourish you, and fill you so that you are empowered and prepared for whatever that God has planned for you.

3. Pray that God will be working to rid anything unhealthy in your life.

Sometimes, we can notice the sin that we made, but sometimes we simply can’t. And as you seek to enhance your love life, make sure to ask for God’s help to recognize and heal all the unhealthy things in your life that are not in alignment with His best. It can be because of your bad habit or your negative characters that people do not want to be around you. So pray to God and seek to get to the bottom of your sins and ask for His healing power to be at work.

4. Pray that God will shape your heart and nourish interactions with others.

In life, you will notice that some people seem to have the charisma and everyone loves to be around him or her. On the other hand, there will be someone that people hate to be around with and they will do everything to avoid being with that person. Thus, pray for God to open your heart to loving and edifying others the way it was meant to. Pray God to enrich your relationships and for you to learn how to love and not just being loved.

5. Pray that God will bring healing to your past so that you can embrace the future.

One of the most important keys to a loving relationship, regardless of whether it is with your significant others or your family members, is to let go of the past. It is easy to get stuck in the past and unable to let go. When you are paralyzed by your past, you cannot move forward to a better future. Even when you have a great lover who is willing to spend the rest of her life with you, if you are stuck in the past, the relationship may suffer because of what you hold on to. Therefore, pray and ask God to relieve you from your past, allow you to let go and move forward in life for a better and more loving relationship.

6. Pray that God will protect and you emotional guidance.

You can pray for anything because God is almighty and hence, pray for Him to protect your emotional world and guide you through tough times when you most needed it. Love is a journey with ups and downs. When people fail in their relationship, whether it is a love relationship or a friendship, mainly it is because they do not know how to manage their emotion and let their emotions cloud their head. So pray for God to guide you for a healthy interaction in all of your relationship.

7. Pray that God will bless you with a great love life.

At the end of the day, you want to ask for God’s blessings in your relationship, especially your love life. It is impossible for us to control other people to live up to our expectation and become who we want them to be. You cannot control your lover to be like what you desire because everyone is unique and different. Thus, it is best to pray for God to bless you with a great love life rather than trying to change those who are around you to become who you expect them to be.

What If Someone You Love is Stuck in Sin?

The above are the suggestions of how you can pray for someone you love. Now, what if someone you love is stuck in sin and you would like to help him or her, but you have no idea what you can do? Turn to God and ask for His help. It is heartache to see those that you love struggle with an abusive relationship, drugs, gambling, alcohol, and more. Most of the time, there is no way you can change the person’s thought, not without God’s help. So turn to God and ask for His help. Pray for someone you love who stuck in sins.

Here’s how you can pray for them…

First, pray for the Lord to be with them. One of the first things you can do is to pray that God is with the person and watch over them wherever they are. God will guide them and show them direction and lead them to a healthy life.

Second, pray for the person to start working in their lives. You must have the faith and pray that God to start working on their lives. You may not see it immediately, but you have to believe that something deep within is slowly changing and that person will eventually change and lead a new and better life. Furthermore, you can pray for God to open their heart, mind, and spirit to the love, grace, and healing that only He can bring.

And third, pray as if it has already come to pass. You must have the faith and believe that God is already working on that person and is guiding him or her to a brighter life. Give God the praise and the glory for the victory over the person’s life as if it has already happened.

How Prayer Makes Your Relationships Stronger

When you pray for someone you love to be blessed, what truly happens is that you change your thought patterns and you are actively engaging yourself with that person. Scientists have shown that when someone prays with deep beliefs, their brainwaves will go into a conversation mood as if they are talking to someone. This will ultimately shape the reality. Meaning to say, when you pray for someone or you wish him or her to be good, what really happens is you are creating the reality in your mind.

As a result, your response will change. You will start to think about that person differently and you will perceive him or her differently. And when your thinking changed, your reality will change. This is why prayer can make your relationship stronger.

Prayer is just like focusing your thought on a certain subject. When you pray for someone, you are focusing your thoughts on him. As a result, it will become a new reality and your outer life will change.

Plus, as what you have learned above, when you pray, you must also pray as if God has already made that happen. This is because you choose to believe in God and that He will hear your prayer and fulfills your request. When you believe that things will become better, you will operate from a more optimistic mindset and act as if things are working out for you instead of against you. Therefore, it builds the bond between you and the person who you prayed for.

For instance, think of someone who irritates you. it can be someone you have a strained relationship with or who just rubs you the wrong way. Now, do you pray for that person? Or do you just complain, resent, grumble, and nag? So does praying or nagging works? Yes, science has already proved this. So why do you want to nag, complain or resent? Rather, choose to pray for the people that you love and whom you want to change.

There are things in other people’s lives that you would like to change. The problem is that you cannot change them. You can only change yourself. We always want other people to change, but we simply can’t, not without the help of God. And when you turn to God and ask for His help, pray and let God do His work, you will change. The fastest way to change a bad relationship to a good one is to start praying for the other person. When you do this, it will change you, and as a result, it can change the other person.

This is just like the saying, “If you can’t fight them, join them.” There is no way you can change someone, but you can always choose to change yourself to impact other people to change. This is a vital subject in a relationship because we often deal with people who have different characteristics and habits than us. We want other people to change, but not us. And this is how prayer can help.

Prayer for Finding Love

Remember that God is almighty God and He can help and fulfill whatever you asked for. If you have no idea what to say when you pray for someone you love, here is an example for you:

“Almighty God, hear this prayer. Almighty God, hear this relationship prayer. As You are first in my heavenly heart and mind and spirit, so do I desire a companion for my earthly heart and mind and being. Guide me to the partner You know is perfect for me. Help me walk in faith until that time of our first meeting. Show me how I can become a partner worthy of love. Then guide me through every stage of our relationship, so that, as we move ever closer to You, we grow closer to each other in Love, in Joy, and in Faith. Thank You, God, for hearing my prayer. Amen!”

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Stressful relationships in the workplace are extremely common and the secret to overcoming them is to use prayer to create and execute a successful action plan.  Many people struggle with stress in the workplace and that stress is most often due to the stress of relationships with sometimes, managers, supervisors, co-workers, and extreme workloads.  When relationships are strained in the workplace, whether its people who can’t see eye-to-eye, or tension over workloads, or competition, or unfair treatment or lack of recognition, people begin to dread work life and a great amount of stress sets in.

Dealing with stressful relationships in the workplace can make our lives miserable and uncomfortable because there is always that inner conflict and we don’t know what we will have to face from day to day. Prayer will help you overcome stressful work relationships and help you gain a new prospective of how God uses our work to form and shape us for his purpose to be fulfilled in our lives.

This is very important so I am going to say this now and I will say it again toward the end as a final reminder but please remember that as you begin to pray the devil, our enemy, will also try to get in the midst to try to cause confusion and discouragement but we know that the devil is a liar and the father of lies.  Stay focused and if you get off track with your prayers, get right back on.  Remember it is a process.  God will continue to guide you through the process because he has given us all we need to be victorious in every situation.

Here is a prayer action plan to overcome stressful work relationships.

1.  Ask God to help you see your work as an important part of your whole life ministry.

Many Christians seem to think that serving God is only when we are serving in ministry in our churches or doing charity work or have been called to full time ministry.  Take note that God views the way we live our lives as a full time ministry.  Ask God to help you view your work with a new perspective that you also serve God in your job!  Especially if people know that you are a Christian believe me they are watching to see how you handle things and how you respond in situations.  As Christians we all have an opportunity to win souls for Jesus Christ by the way we conduct ourselves.  All soul winning does not always have to be verbal! People are watching what we do more than what we say.

As you continue to pray you will find that we really don’t have to struggle but we can make a decision starting right now to be transformed by putting things in the proper perspective according to God’s Word and what He says about how we should conduct ourselves in the Marketplace so that his will may be done in us and through us.

In my current line of work I work with mostly people who are younger than me.  Some are fresh out of high school and others fresh out of college.  I can sometimes feel a little left out like I don’t fit in.  It used to make me feel that way when I allowed myself to focus on the uncomfortableness of it but the Lord helped me realize that I have an opportunity to be an example and a witness to my co-workers and manager.  Through prayer for each of my co-workers and changing my mindset through prayer and reading the word daily I have found peace and enjoyment and am determined each day to have a positive attitude that will allow the light of Christ to shine.  God has made me to be a person who loves to show hospitality to others and kindness through smiles and simply saying hello.  A person who is concerned with the overall well-being of individuals regardless how they may treat me.  My prayer is that my witness with allow them to see the love of Christ.

When I changed my focus from how I felt and put it on the opportunity to witness for Christ in spite of my surroundings, then my whole perspective and attitude changed.  I also realized that God has given me a gift to communicate with young people and that I have a way of drawing out of them what others may not be able to draw out of them and making them feel comfortable with talking to me.   Sometimes we sit around moping and complaining that others need to change but God says “No, you change” and once you change your perspective your situation and circumstance changes.  We have the power to change atmospheres when we step into a place because the spirit of God lives in us!  Use that power and your will see things begin to turn around!

2.  Ask God to help you remember that the one you serve is Christ!

I just completed a Christian Education Course called “Crown Biblical Financial Study.”  Although it is a guide to earning, spending, saving, investing, giving, and getting out of debt, right in the center of the book there is a chapter that specifically speaks about work.  This particular chapter is titled “Work; who is your real boss?”  This was a most interesting session as the group came together to discuss.  Just about everyone in the class had something to share about the situation they were facing in their current work and though we wandered off topic of finances it was productive because it was evident that we had hit on a major issue relating to stress in the workplace and dealing with our peers.  If we are going to be good stewards over all the resources God provides and our work is a major part of the provision God gives then we have got to get this right.

This chapter not only addressed the biblical perspective of our work but it also addressed the employee’s and the employer’s responsibility to one another.   When we put things in proper perspective according to the will of God for our lives we can embrace life with a better understanding that God is in the midst, making and molding us for his use. Colossians 3:22-4:1 was the main scripture focus of this particular chapter in this biblical study.

“Servants, do what you’re told by your earthly masters. And don’t just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn’t cover up bad work.

And masters, treat your servants considerately. Be fair with them. Don’t forget for a minute that you, too, serve a Master—God in heaven.” (Colossians 3:22-41 Msg.)

Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ.  Wow!  When we have the mindset that the ultimate Master we’re serving is Christ, our whole outlook should begin to change.  We have to begin to ask ourselves daily when we are away at work doing the task we have been hired to do, “would God be pleased with my work?” and not only that but as we have interactions with those over us and with our peers and co-workers, we have to also ask ourselves the same question.

God will use our work to humble us as well.  In most of my positions since I started working at the age of 18, I have always been in a management role.  Though I started at an entry level position, I was always recognized for the passion that I put into my work because I enjoyed it.  I wasn’t trying to climb the corporate ladder by any means.  It honestly was not even a thought for me.  Now I also know that it was God’s favor and that he was using my work to shape me as a leader for something much greater.  But after so many years of working it came a time that I was out of work and this was new for me.  In 2007, I was laid off from a job that I had been on for 10 years.  I had held two management positions and was now working in another role that I was pretty comfortable in both salary and location.

I was unemployed for 3 years and when I did find jobs they were temporary jobs in which I was under employed and in some cases had long commutes with no option but to work late night shifts and weekends.  As hard as that was to accept, I continued to trust in God that he knew what he was doing in my life.  It’s hard to go from positions where you were overseeing people to being overseen but in the midst of it I have learned that it’s not all about position because no matter where I work or what position I hold I am positioned through Christ Jesus for greatness and I can display that through my attitude, character and my conduct no matter where God puts me to serve him because if he placed me there, there is a need for Kingdom work!

Even in all that has been shared or what you may already know, this may not be easy to do depending on where you are currently in your struggles with work relationships but it is attainable.  Just like most things that require us to change our mindsets, it takes practice.  “The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works’” (Psalm 145:9) This may be a good time to evaluate where you are with your relationships at work as well as your contentment with your current work and begin to ask God to help you make a plan to decide where you can start to turn things around.  If we take the mindset that in everything we do and everything we say that God is watching and holding us accountable then it shouldn’t be that hard to see a quick change in these areas.

Keep in mind that you are serving the Lord Jesus Christ in all that you do.  The world’s way is not God’s way.  People of the world focus on themselves and how they can get to the top even at the expense of trying to outshine others but remember that God is the one who promotes his people and if you are following his Word he will honor every promise of his Word in your life.  The thing to remember is to not grow weary while you’re waiting and do not stop obeying the Word.  “No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause.” (Psalm 25:3) God’s timing is not our timing but he is faithful and he will exalt you in due season.  When we get busy serving him, submitting and surrendering our will to his will, then he is quick to release blessing and rewards for being obedient to his word.

3. Pray for the wisdom to remember” it’s not about me”

“It’s not about me!” I’m sure many of you have heard it coming from many pulpits and from the mouths of many who preach and teach the word of God.  What does it mean when we actually live out this phrase that “It’s not about me”?  A few scripture verses come to mind for me when I think about the life of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and how he lived an example of a life that was truly not about him.  Matthew 20:28 says: “Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom to many.”  Jesus understood that his life was devoted to the purpose of doing the Father’s will and that was giving up his life so that all would have an opportunity for salvation.  Luke 9:23 says “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”

Many times we are too focused on other people’s ways and faults and how much they get on our nerves that it is almost impossible for us to deny our flesh making it hard to see things from God’s perspective and hard to embrace others in the workplace.  We have to be willing to change our outlook based on the Word of God and believe that as we walk according to the Word of God, we will be victorious and our lives will shine forth so that others see and glorify our Father who is in heaven.

Colossians 3:22-4:1 tells us that there is an obligation we have in our roles at work to our managers, supervisors, and co-workers.  There is an obligation that managers and supervisors also have to uphold as well.  It’s easy to forget what the Word says or to rationalize what the Word says when we are deep in the trenches of those hard pressing situations in the workplace.

The Apostle Paul who wrote:

 “Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized—whoever. I didn’t take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ—but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I’ve become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn’t just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!” (1 Corinthians 9:9-23 Msg.)

4.  Ask God to remind you that you’re not responsible for how others decide to treat you; you’re only responsible for how you treat them.  

There are people in the workplace we just don’t get along with.  Let’s just be for real.  In life we have to understand that we will not get along with everyone and everyone may not like us even though we hope that people will.  I always say that “I am not responsible for how other people decide to treat me but I am responsible for how I treat others and I am not responsible for what other people say about me but I am responsible for what I allow to come out of my mouth about others.”   God will use difficult relationships in the workplace and difficult relationship in our personal lives as well to build our character and our conduct.

If God who led his own son into the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights to be tested of the devil and to prepare him for ministry don’t we dare think that the dreams and desires that God has planted in us can be attained without some great testing.  After all, God prepares us not just to receive the blessing but so that after we have been tested and tried we will come out as pure gold (“But he knows where I am going.  And when he tests me, I will come out as pure gold.” (Job 23:10) and the blessing will not be loss because we have also been equipped to have a character that will be able to uphold and withstand the blessing! No tests, no character development and no great blessings.

5.  Ask God to use your work to develop your character and your conduct

In the Crown Ministries study mentioned earlier here is an exert of what it says about the primary reason for our work.  “A primary purpose of work is to develop character.  While the carpenter is building a house, the house is also building the carpenter.  Skill, diligence, manual dexterity and judgment are refined.   A job is not merely a task designed to earn money; it is also intended to produce godly character in the life of the worker”. (Dayton, H. (1996). Your money counts: the biblical guide to earning, spending, saving, investing, giving, and getting out of debt. Longwood, Fla.: Crown Ministries.)

Our work is designed to build our character.  Here are some scriptures that come to mind as it relates to our lives and how God builds our character that we need to remember and practice.

 “Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires”. (Romans 13:14)

“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us’. (Romans 5:3-5)

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect”. (Romans 12:2)

God has his own process for building character and conduct in each of us.  I’m not sure that many of us understand that it is a process designed by God and that his pattern for doing so is unique to each person.  Our workplaces play a part in this process.  We spend most of our waking hours at work.  We spend more time with people at work in most cases than we do at home with our families or doing the things we like to do.  It is extremely stressful when we have conflict in relationships with people we have to spend time with.

The scriptures tell us that we must put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh. “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision, to fulfill its lusts.” (Romans 13:14: )  This means that we can’t do or say or respond to situations as the world does.  We can’t do to others what they do to us whether we think it’s intentional or not.  We can’t say the same things that other people say or try to move up the corporate ladder through trickery or by any false pretenses.  Every day I have to remind myself that the Lord is my Master and that everything that I do I must do it as if I am doing unto him.  When I mess up, I quickly turn to him for forgiveness and move on to get it right.

In the character building process, God uses the very things that get under our skin the most.  The enemy wants us to be blinded by our sins and faults because he knows that they will be a hindrance to our work, our ministry, our relationships and our promotion to the next level in Christ.  Also, another very important thing to pray and ask God to show you is if you have any blind spots.  A blind spot is something that we do and that may be pointed out by others we are in relationship with (family, friends, co-workers, managers, supervisors) but we cannot see it at all so when someone confronts us or tries to grow a relationship by addressing us, we think they are crazy.  These are “blind spots”!  Blind spots are hindrances to spiritual growth.  These are faults and sins in our lives that the enemy has blinded us from seeing so that we continue to walk in a yoke of bondage with numerous failed attempts at relationships.  I once made a decision to confront someone who had hurt me greatly in the church and when I went to them they had no idea what I was talking about.  I was so confused and started to almost question myself and wonder why I even bothered but it was not but days later that the Lord led me to a devotional reading and explained that when you confront someone and they seem to have no recollection of what you are saying they are dealing with a “blind spot”.  I knew God was giving me some clarity about what I had just experienced.   Pray and ask God daily to shine the light on all darkness and blindness to your ways that the enemy has hidden from you so that you may be healed, delivered and set free!  Whom the Son sets free is truly free indeed! (John 8:36)

How we interact with others says a lot about our character and who we are but it also shines the light on our own flaws and insecurities. Think about it, in most relationships that we find difficult it is always pointed out what the other person does that is wrong or that gets under our skin.  We say and think “If they were not around to make my life miserable then how much better things would be.”  “If they had not of done this then I would not have done that.”   “I just don’t like her/his ways.”  You get the picture.

I know that it may not be easy to respond to a manager who talks to you with no respect or who uses profanity when they speak to you.  It’s not easy when you know that your boss favors others over you even though you are performing above what is expected.  It doesn’t feel good when you feel you have been overlooked for a promotion or when your co-worker says demeaning things to you or about you.  It’s not popular to be the needle in the haystack and it hurts when you feel left out but know that God is in the midst and he has a purpose for you being right where you are.

6.  When you fall short, ask for forgiveness and try again.

As I mentioned earlier, we will not always get it right but the mere fact that we are open and aware of our attitudes and actions leaves room for God to be our daily help.  We have to recognize and admit a fault in order for God to be able to move.  As a matter of fact we open up the door for him to work.  “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”(Romans 3:23)

 Every day I ask God to help me with my emotions because my emotions can get me in trouble.  I have not always been one to ask God to help me with my emotions or anyone else for that matter.  I would just say what I felt to someone and get them straight.  Oh how sad that was for me and I thank God that he has done a transforming work in me!  I’m not sure what your thing is but one of my things that can get me in trouble in my responses or my approach to conflict.  I have to make a decision everyday not to allow my emotions to get the best of me and to pray about my responses, whether a response is warranted or if so what I should say so that my response is not an offense to anyone.

Jabez  asked the Lord to bless him and to enlarge his border but he also asked that God would keep his hand on him and  that God would keep him from harm so that he it may not bring pain.  (1 Chronicles 4:10)  I often pray this prayer and ask God to help me to keep from bringing pain to myself and other by expressing wrong behaviors that come from un-checked emotions.  Every emotion that rises up in us does not have to be revealed or expressed.  More so than not, we have to wrestle with those emotions and so as to subject our flesh under the submission of God who can keep us from doing harm with them.  (1 Corinthians 9:27) Begin to ask to help you today to help you master your emotions.

Though I have to come home and pray for forgiveness most often for ways I have failed to bring this scripture to life on some days, I still get up and do my best to practice this principle the next day.  Eventually I will get it right as I continue to live it out.  I want my life to be pleasing to the Lord and I want him to be pleased with my character, my conduct and my attitude!  I know that you do as well.

7. Ask God to help you believe that you are where you are supposed to be

You may be in a position at work that you feel trapped in and for many, especially after the recession that struck the economy in 2008; some may even be in a job that does not fulfill and feel that you are not using the many gifts and talents that the Lord has given to you.  You may not feel valued or feel that you are being utilized to your fullest potential; nevertheless, you may not be earning what you know that you are worth.  All of this adds stress on top of relationships issues.  All of these things can make us focus on the wrong things and when this happens we have a tendency to grumble and complain every chance we get about our dissatisfaction with our jobs.  You may be trying to find a way out of your current employment and yet no doors are opening despite your diligent search for a new job.

In the Bible, Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery after he shared a dream he had that his brother’s would be bowing down to him.  Joseph served several years in prison due to the lie that Potiphar’s wife told on him but his attitude was that he would prosper even behind prison walls.  At some point he realized that he was where he was supposed to be because he told his brothers when they finally did meet up, “What you meant was for evil but God turned it around for my good.” (Genesis 50:20)   Joseph had a revelation that all he had been through over in Egypt was God’s plan for his life to develop his character and his conduct and all that he did he prospered and the Lord exalted him but he had to be sold into slavery and he had to go to prison as a part of his character development.

David started off his career as a shepherd boy on the backside of a mountain herding sheep.  God used his days as a shepherd boy to build his character and conduct and he became the King of all Israel.  Even though he was anointed as king, it was a long time before he even took his position as the king of Israel, he was chased and tormented by Saul, running and hiding in caves for a long time.  He had the opportunity to slay Saul but recognized that it was not for him to take advantage of that opportunity.  (1 Samuel 24) David’s character was tested in that very act of not taking advantage and acting upon something that he may have thought real good and hard about doing.   Even after all that Saul had put him through; David still saw Saul as God’s anointed.  And we know that David was a man after God’s own heart.

Moses grew up in the house of Pharaoh and lived in a place of luxury but when he grew up and decided that he would rather be a slave in the fields than to live a life of luxury in the wickedness of Pharaoh’s Courts. Moses had some anger issues to say the least (and many of God’s people also have anger issues) but moving on, after he had been tested and tried in the fields of his father-in-law Jethro, God spoke to him at the edge of a mountain in a burning bush and Moses was called to lead the people of Israel out of bondage in Egypt.  “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”  (Jeremiah 1:5)  Moses was being prepared for ministry!

You may be feeling like you have been sold into slavery in your current workplace situation because everything may not be going the way you think it should at work.  God knows where you are and what you are experiencing and he has a purpose in that.  “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act”. (Psalm 37: 4-5)

8.  Find God’s hand, plan and favor in temporary holding places during your career.

Don’t despise humble beginnings or any place you may be in right now that you feel is beneath you.  God is preparing you for something greater!  There is a royal purpose to be fulfilled in you!  Pray that God will give you discernment to know your seasons because everything has a season and purpose in our lives.

I remember taking a temporary job that I was supposed to be on for only 6 weeks. It turned out to be a two year temporary assignment and the Lord placed in my spirit that is was just that, a temporary holding place for me while he was preparing yet another place for me.  I was still in school finishing up my Bachelor’s Degree and the Lord knew exactly what I needed at that time and what I could handle as a college student.  People often asked and sometimes I made attempts to ask about becoming permanent but I would tell others that it is a holding place and it was a reminder for me when no doors opened for me there that it was a holding place.  The Lord will let us in on the seasons of our lives but we have to ask him to open us up to discern what he is telling us.  Know your seasons and you can go through with a better attitude!

9.  Continue to pray until God provides His peace that surpasses all understanding

No matter what we face in life God is certainly able to give us peace in the midst of it.  In fact his Word says that he will give us a peace that is beyond understanding.  (Philippians 4:7)  I have found that when I am having issues in the workplace that I first need to check my attitude as I talked about in a little more detail earlier and then align myself through the Word and prayer and my situation turns to joy and peace.  Often times we are waiting for the other person to change (our boss, our co-worker, our business partner, etc) but God is waiting for us to change.  That has always been the case for me!  Once we move our flesh and our emotions out of the way and walk according to the word, everything else falls into proper alignment.  Relationships change and we have more peace than ever before!

Isaiah 26:3 says “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in you.”   Don’t allow things that are going on around you to cause you to be distracted or to fall prey to the actions and attitudes of others.  Instead tell yourself that you are going to stay focused with your mind stayed on Jesus.  If you find yourself drifting or anxious to respond to something or someone, ask the Lord to help you keep your emotions in check.  It may take a few minutes of wrestling with the flesh but you will feel so much better especially if you do not act on certain things.

Understand that the enemy also knows our triggers and the things that get our feathers ruffled so to speak but declare that you will not fall into the traps that the enemy set up for you!  We are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus! (Romans 8:37)

10.  Remember to pray daily for your interactions with everyone in the workplace

Don’t’ wait to pray until things are completely out of control in a situation and you feel that you are already defeated.  One of the reasons that we fail at many things is that we fail to pray beforehand and to continue to pray throughout situations.

You may not feel that you know how to pray effectively but I guarantee you that if you just open your mouth and begin to tell God what is going on in the only way you know how, that you will see an immediate answer.  The situation may not change and the people that you work with every day may not change but he will change you in the midst of it all.  Your responses will not be the same as it use to be when negativity is around or that co-worker that always seemed to know how to rub you the wrong way will no longer annoy you even though there has been no change in their behavior God has changed you!

Once you see God move and answer your prayers, you will not be able to wait until the next time you are able to pray.  The more you bring your needs to the Lord through prayer and the study of his Word the more you will begin to develop a relationship with him that is unique to any other relationship that he has with others.

Pray for those in the workplace who have authority over you.

Pray for your co-workers and call them out by name and ask God to bless them.

Ask God to help you to love them as he does and to find ways to encourage them.

Ask God to let your light shine so that others will see and glorify your father who is in heaven.

Prayer is the key.  Also don’t give up on your prayers even if it may seem like nothing is happening or if you feel they are not happening as quickly as you would like.  Know that when you pray to God from a pure heart and ask for forgiveness for your sins that he is moving.  It will just not be in your own timing.

Here is that last reminder I promised that I would remind you of the tricks of the enemy.  His job is to get you off track, frustrated, discouraged, and ready to give up but don’t give up on the power of prayer to change your situation and give you direction. Satan is a liar and the father of lies.  Stay focused and if you get off track, get right back on.  Remember it is a process.  God will continue to guide you through the process because he has given us all we need to be victorious in every situation!

11.  Trust God’s promise that that everyone will give an account directly to Him for how they have handled their work.

Believers and unbelievers alike will face judgment.  Colossians 3 tells us that employee’s as well as employer’s have a responsibility and everyone will be held accountable.  You may be in a really bad situation on your job feeling that people are out of control and just about anything goes.  You may feel that no one is held accountable but you and you want to see justice done.  You may not feel like being the one who does what is right and maybe your emotions are high because you have been “longsuffering” at work.  Why do they always get away with everything may be the questions running in your mind but know that God sees all and hears all and that everyone will give an account for every idle word and deed.

As Christians we are still called to lead the way and set the example.  Sometimes we don’t understand the power that we have to influence others through our actions (good or bad).   Even though a person may not ever get an opportunity to tell you how you impacted their life or helped them see the error of their ways, it happens every day as we make a conscious effort daily to walk with Christ and to please him with our life.

We may not get it right every day but recognize the areas that you have fallen short; ask for forgiveness, repent and continue on the journey up hill.  “He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).   Forgive yourself and move on.  It’s the enemy that tries to remind us of what we did and cause us to walk in self-commendation but also remember what God tells us in Romans 12:1 “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”.   This means that the moment that we ask for forgiveness we are forgiven and there is nothing that Satan can accuse you of before God but know that he will try.

We may never see someone reap what they sow but the Bible is clear that we will all reap what we sow and we can be sure that God’s word does not lie.  If bad seed is sown in our lives toward others then we will reap bad seed but when we sow good seed we will reap good seed and we will have a great reward.  Don’t allow yourself to get caught up with wrong attitudes but pray for those who don’t know Christ that they will receive salvation and that your life will be lived in such a way in the workplace that others will know that something is different about you.  Pray that God will use you to lead someone in the workplace to Christ! “

12.  If you’re in an unhealthy work environment, pray for wisdom and discernment as to what actions God would have you take. 

Lastly let’s end on another note and that is with all of the above also know when to seek Godly wisdom and guidance in the case that you are in a work environment that is toxic and or unhealthy.  As well God will send Godly wisdom and counsel to you.  I’m reminded of the advice that Moses father-in-law Jethro gave to him on a visit to Moses with Moses two sons and his wife.  While Moses father-in-law was visiting and observing the things that Moses did, he noticed that the people were standing before Moses all day until night.  Moses was teaching and instructing and judging disputes among all the people but Jethro saw that it was wearing Moses out.  Moses was in an unhealthy and toxic environment.  Jethro told Moses how he could divide the responsibilities among Godly men who were responsible and thus relieve Moses from wearing himself out.  The story is in Exodus 18.

Just remember that like in any relationship we are in whether in a marriage or friendship or work relationship, God does not call us to allow people to walk on us and make us their door mates.  Yes, we need to work to provide for our households and families and to give back to God but if we are being abused know when to make a good mental health move and know that God is Jehovah Jireh and he will provide!  I’m a living witness!

Of course pray about this move that God will lead you to someone who can provide Godly wisdom and also if there are others in the household that this decision will affect, make sure you discuss it and pray together about it.  God will truly honor your trust in him and he will take your relationship with him to a whole new level.

Other Related Articles

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Prayer for you boss, supervisor or those in authority over you at work

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Copyright Sondra Green 2014.  All rights reserved.

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