by Robbie (Dallas, Tx USA)
I come to you to save my marriage. Right now we are going through a hard time. Not communicating without shouting. Not talking for days at time. Acting as the other one does not exist.
I know we have did a lot of things in the past to each other. It is hard to forget but lets us forgive each other for the better. Jesus please help restore my marriage and I cant do this without you and the faith I have in you. Please return my husband to me. Bring back the love we once had for one another. I know he loves me and his feelings are hurt.
Jesus help me in my time of need. Satan is trying to destroy what you put together. I stand in the gap of my marriage Father God . I put this in your hands because you said if you ask you shall receive. And I believe. I ask these things in Jesus name Amen.
Return to Marriage Prayer
In my book, The Unveiled Wife, specifically in Chapter 25 “The Getaway” I mention a story from my marriage where my husband and I had the opportunity to photograph a wedding in Maui. We were looking forward to the joyous celebration we would document, but we also hoped that getting away to Maui would be a time of healing and encountering intimacy in our relationship.
During that time in our life, I never would have considered how to help another wife going through the ups and downs encountered in marriage. I was too self-focused and too concerned with discovering healing for myself to give any ounce of encouragement to another.
Little did I know or even consider what the couple whom we photographed in Maui would face as husband and wife. However, after reading a brief portion of their story years later, I am in awe of how God truly cares to save marriages! To Him be the glory! Please take a moment to hear Amanda unveil her marriage story…
I started my marriage off in the views of the world. It was built around partying, drinking, anger and disrespect for each other.
I wanted that intimate affection kind of love and he wanted sex.
I didn’t want to give him sex though because I wasn’t being fulfilled in other areas. After a year of being married, it started to come crumbling down. I grew up in church and I knew where my beliefs stood although I had stepped away. I began to feel alone, insecure, and really hurt. I didn’t know where my marriage was headed. I truly thought it was headed for divorce.
I resented my husband, I felt like he was an awful husband. Although, I didn’t self examine myself and how I was being as wife. As the hurt kept building up and up I felt it was time to finally tell my husband how I felt. It was hard because in the past any conversations were me “being a baby” as he would say. But I knew I needed to do it before it got too late.
We talked a lot and cried a lot. It wasn’t the conversation I was thinking. I expected him to say sorry and move forward. Although he was feeling the same way. He told me how he didn’t view me as his wife… but just as a friend. He didn’t know what to say or do. I was shocked! I felt extremely scared in the moment. I knew from growing up in the church that divorce was NOT an option. In this moment I got scared that we would separate. Although I wasn’t happy in my marriage I knew that I couldn’t live with out him.
I asked him if we could try some counseling with our pastor and to work on our marriage. In my heart I knew that God could heal. Although I truly believe my husband didn’t know that. He looked at me straight in the eyes and told me, “I’ll try”. I wanted him to tell me “yes babe it will be fixed” and to help me feel secure…but those were his honest words.
With all my insecurities one of my biggest ones was that I have always wanted a Godly man that would be the man of the house and pray with me. I doubted God though, I thought that was impossible with my husband.
As we started to do counseling with our pastor all of my hurt and my husband’s hurt was lifted.
We began to realize that living in the world and doing worldly things had no place in our heart or in our marriage.
It was damaging our relationship from the inside out. We had a ton of work to do to build that chemistry again like we had when we first started dating but IT WAS POSSIBLE. I began to learn that instead of myself trying to change my husband, I needed to LET GOD change him. I also needed to surrender my insecurities to Him. It was hard, but it was worth it.
We both now attend church on a regular basis, we pray with each other and pray for each other. We have a new understanding that God is first and should ALWAYS be in the middle of our marriage that ties us together. It has been a tough road, but so worth it. My husband is truly my soul mate. He loves God, he is caring, he listens, he provides and he is the best husband I could ever hope for. We know have a 1 year old and will be having a 5 year anniversary in October.
God is faithful! He has overcome my hurt and insecurities. Never doubt The One who has created you! He loves you so much and cherishes you.
My marriage was saved for one reason and one reason only and that is because God saved it.
– Amanda Grothe
These marriage restoration prayers are a guideline on how to pray for your marriage. Pray in faith, that God will move on your behalf. There is no guarantee you will not have problems in your marriage, even if you are a Christian. But, God has promised never to leave or forsake us. All marriages will have trials and tribulations. Statistics can be quite discouraging, as over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Christian marriages are fiercely under particular attack because the enemy does not want strong spiritual families.
If an enemy can destroy the family unit, he can come in and wreak havoc on the parents to the children. The good news is, God has ordained marriage and wants your marriage to succeed even more than you can imagine. He has not abandoned or forgotten you or your children.
Joel 2:24 And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.
How to Pray Prayers for Marriage Restoration
We can not control others, and God will not go against a persons’ will. He can, however, change hearts. He can bring about situations that change hearts and minds. Pray that God will touch the heart of your spouse.
The Holy Spirit will go to places we can not go, to accomplish things we cannot. These prayers are just a guideline for how to pray. When praying the prayers below, use the Word of God, because it a powerful tool against the works of darkness.
Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
Insert the name of the person you are praying for to make the prayer personal. Do not be discouraged if things do not change right away, continue to thank God for the victory and the restoration of your marriage.
Submit your Prayer Request
Continue to Believe God for your Marriage
When going through problems in your relationship, it is easy to want to withdraw into yourself and become paralyzed with fear and depression. I encourage you to continue to attend church and consider joining a prayer group. This will provide spiritual strength and support. You will find the Lord will meet you during these times of worship to encourage and strengthen you.
Also, if you are involved in ministry, continue to minister. Remember when the enemy is not only attacking your spouse, he is attacking you. Remain prayerful and consider praying for others who are having difficulties in their marriage. Proverbs 11:25 The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself.
Prayer of Salvation
Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus. I believe that you are the son of God and that you died for the sin of the whole world. I admit that I have not done everything right. I repent of my sins and want you to change my life. Forgive my sins and come into my heart, and wash me with your blood. I believe that you are the son of God and that you died for the sin of the whole world. I admit that I have not done everything right. I repent of my sins and want you to change my life. Forgive my sins and come into my heart, and wash me with your blood. Amen.
Prayer for a Discouraged Husband
Father, I come before you. I ask that you do a new thing in his life. Let him experience your divine love and grace. Cover him with the precious blood of Jesus. Lord, you said in your word, ” for this cause shall a man leave, his mother and father and the two shall become one flesh.” Unite us as never before and let him feel my love and support.
I cancel every assignment of the enemy to make him feel inadequate. Help me to show greater love, respect, and affection. Cause my husband to surrender every weight and burden to you Lord and bring restoration to his/her heart and mind.
Help him to trust you and seek your guidance in everything. I command every burden to be broken off his life right now in the name of Jesus. Bring him into the full knowledge of you will and cause him to be the husband and father you have called them to be. Let him walk in victory and wisdom in all he does. In the Jesus name. Amen!
Prayer against the Spirit of Adultery
Lord, I bring my marriage to you today. I discovered __________ is having an affair. I ask that you restore and heal my marriage. I know you are the restorer of the broken. Help me to be strong, and continue to seek your face.
Help me to continue to take authority over this situation. Father, you told me you have given me the power to step on serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy! So, I bind every ungodly soul tie ______ has with this person! I break and destroy every plan the enemy has to hurt my family.
I pray a wedge between them, right now in the name of Jesus, and I command that all connections with this person be destroyed, right now, and I cancel every assignment of the enemy! I commit _______ to you and ask that you take out the stony heart and give _____ a heart that loves and fears you.
Father, in the name of Jesus, open _______ eyes, and cause the scales to be removed. Holy Spirit, cause ______ to be convicted of their sin. Let them no longer find enjoyment in this ungodly relationship. Remind _____ of the vows he made before you. Lord send Christians in their path to share the light and life to _______. I thank you for healing and restoring my marriage, in the name of Jesus. Amen
Prayer for your Husband
Father, I bring this couple before you today. I ask you will touch the heart of this husband that he might know your divine love. Whatever he is seeking that is not in you will let him find only emptiness. I bind everything that is separating him from you. Send people to him to share the Gospel of your son, and let them man surrender to the highest God. Let him be, saved, healed and restored, right now, in Jesus name!
Remind him of his commitment and vow he made to his wife before you. Father, you said the king’s heart is in your hand, so I know this husband’s heart is also in your hand! Turn his heart back to his wife and family in the name of Jesus. I speak restoration of the love and this marriage, in the Name of Jesus. Amen
Prayer for Your Wife
Father in the name of Jesus, I thank you for this woman. You have said for this cause shall a man leave his mother and father and the two shall become one flesh. Father, I cancel the assignment the enemy has set forth to destroy this family. You are the restorer of the broken. I ask that the Love of God which passes knowledge will arrest this wife. Open her eyes and her heart to you. Send laborers in her path, to minister God’s love, mercy, and His Salvation. We call it done in Jesus name!
Prayer for Marriage Restoration
Move on behalf of this couple and bring restoration to this relationship. Father, in the name of Jesus, I decree this man’s heart, is turned back to his wife, and the wife to the husband. Bring healing and restoration to their home. Where there is no love, create love, where there is no peace, bring peace, where there is trouble, calm the storms of life, where there was confusion, bring understanding.
I ask that every obstacle bringing this separation will be removed, and cast into the sea, and this marriage be restored, and made whole. In Jesus name. Keep me posted! God Bless you! Marriage restoration is a process. It is the process of changing not only your spouse but you as well. Take all of your cares to the Lord because he is the author and finisher of your faith. May the spirit of Christ cover and comfort you as you believe for the healing of your marriage.
Steps You Can Take to Save Your Marriage
- Decide if your marriage is worth being saved.
- Build your faith and stay positive
- Learn how to control your explosive emotional outbursts
- Don’t talk to your spouse–instead, talk to God
- Don’t do/say things to get a reaction out of him
- Accept what God allows
If your spouse tells you that he or she wants a divorce, then that means the marriage is over right? Well, not necessarily…
Consider this a disclaimer: if you are not an individual who has a strong faith base then there is absolutely no point in reading this hub. The things that I’m going to talk about in this post might sound ludicrous and even downright ridiculous to the average individual. Why? Because we live in an era with a society that will look at you and say: “What’s wrong with you?” “You are crazy.” “You do realize that you are just wasting your time, right?” “He isn’t worth all that.” “You’re stupid, you’re dumb, you’re weak”—and any other unsolicited comment that someone has made about your decision to fight for your marriage. Key words: it is YOUR decision; that means, what anyone else thinks really doesn’t matter.
This hub is written from a woman’s POV, but men, feel free to use this information if you’re the one who wants the marriage to work and your wife is ready for a divorce.
My husband and me, Oct 25, 2008
I watched a documentary once where a man very up in age had been married for over seventy years and the interviewer asked him, “For you to have been married for over half a century, can you please tell us what the secret to marital longevity is?” His answer was so simple that it blew me away. He answered, “The key to making your marriage last is to keep everyone else out of it.” Who is everyone else? Your mother, your father, your siblings…and guess who else? Yep, even your best friend. These are the people who have so much to say about your marriage, your husband, and especially, your decision.
It’s very important for me to lay the foundations of this hub first because when you decide to stay in your marriage even when your husband (or wife) is all the way out, your closest confidants will think you are a fool, that you are wasting your time waiting on someone who is not going to change. But guess what? It is your decision, your life, and your marriage and you do not need anyone else’s stamp of approval in order to confirm that you meant the vows that you made before God and man (til death do you part)—even if your spouse obviously didn’t.
But just know this. There is nothing that you can do that will change your spouse’s mind. Think about it; if there was something that you could have done to change his mind, you would have never gotten to this point. This is when it’s vital to understand that you cannot control him, you cannot control his actions, and you cannot force him to abide by the vows that he made. The only person who you can control is yourself. Here are some steps that you can take to help save your marriage, even once your spouse has decided that s/he wants a divorce.
Step 1: Is it Even Worth It?
Even if your spouse tells you that he or she is out of the marriage, you still have a choice of whether you want to be in or out. But before you make that decision, you need to decide two things: 1) Is it worth it to hold on? 2) Is God trying to shut a door that you’re stubbornly trying to force open? I cannot answer these questions for you and I wouldn’t recommend you to quickly give an answer to these questions. These are questions meant to be contemplated on, brought up in prayer, and wait for clear direction from God.
Step 2: Build Your Faith & Stay Positive
Yes, it takes two to be married, but don’t underestimate the power of one determined, faith-filled individual. I have to emphasize the word faith-filled because if you aren’t faith-filled, then this will never work. The reason why is because you’re looking toward man (your spouse) to do what he’s supposed to do as a husband, and you are placing your hope (faith) in him, your hope that eventually, he will come around and do the right thing. But after he lets you down time after time after time, you will begin to lose hope in him, and thus lose hope in your marriage.
At all times, you must stay positive. Replace every negative thought with a positive one and use uplifting words, not deconstructive ones. This may be hard to do, especially when you’re feeling anything but chipper, but a negative attitude coupled with a negative situation is a recipe for destruction. Stay positive and hopeful about your future, whether it entails a future with or without your spouse.
woman praying to save her marriage | Source Step 3: Control Your Emotions, Don’t Let Your Emotions Control You
The threat of a divorce can be scary, frustrating, and unbearably painful. One of the most difficult things to do during this time is to control your emotions, especially when your entire soul feels like one huge open wound that your spouse is continually pouring salt into. Control your emotions, but don’t suppress them. If you suppress your emotions (don’t give them any voice or express them in any way), then those suppressed emotions will build up like water being forced back by a dam, and eventually, those suppressed emotions will explode and we will probably see you on an episode of Snapped. You can express your emotions while still remaining in control of them. When you feel anger building in you, you can decide what’s the best way to express this anger instead of allowing the anger to decide for you. When you feel sadness caving in your chest, you can decide what’s the best way to express this sadness instead of just holding it inside. It’s okay to cry—but try not to do it in front of the kids. It’s okay to curse and throw things (but again, try not to do it in front of the kids).
Here’s What Talking Turns Into…husband and wife fussing, angry, headed to a divorce | Source Step 4: Don’t Try to Resolve the Issue by Talking
I hate to break the bad news to you, but talking to your spouse isn’t going to change a thing. If talking to him could fix things, wouldn’t everything be resolved by now? And talking to your best friend or family members or coworkers is only going to make matters worse. All they will do is give their opinion about what they think you should do and then they begin to hate your spouse for how badly he treats you. The bad part is that if your marriage is resolved, you’re all smiles but the people who know the intimate details of how badly he hurt you will still hate him. Instead of talking to them about your marriage, why not talk to the one person who can actually fix things for you (if it’s in His will). Try this: everything you want to say to your spouse, say it to God (or a Higher Being). When he hurts you, cutting you deep to your soul, tell God and only God. Here’s an example:
God, did you hear what he just said to me? I am his wife! How dare he talk to me like that? Did you see how wrong he just did his kids? If I try to talk to him, he’s just going to shut me out and say, ‘See, that’s why I don’t want to be with you. Nothing I ever do is good enough for you.’ But God, even you see that he’s not even trying. He says he’s giving 100%, but God, you and I both see that he’s not even giving 10. He’s too concerned about her, running around, playing daddy to her kids while he’s ignoring his own children. He thinks the grass is greener on the other side, but it’s just a matter of time before they hit some stormy weather as well. God, you know what my husband is doing is not right. Please fix this situation, God, because I don’t know what else to do. Help us, God. Help my marriage.
When you put your hope in God (or a Higher Being), it doesn’t really matter what your spouse is doing or is not doing because your hope is in God who will never let you down. Take your focus off what your spouse is doing and put your focus solely on God and what all you need to accomplish in your personal life while you wait expectantly to see how God is going to resolve the situation.
Weighing the Balances: Is S/he Worth the Fight?
Is he a good father?
Is he considerate of your feelings/emotions?
Does he take care of the household?
Do you get along in the bedroom?
Is he a good role model for the children?
Were you good friends during the marriage?
Does he help pay the bills?
Is the bedroom the only place where you get along?
Is he very family-oriented when it comes to the children?
Do you hang out together or do things together that you both enjoy?
Is he financially available to you?
Is the bedroom non-existent between you two?
Does he have good parenting skills?
Did s/he used to be your best friend?
Does he provide the necessities for you and/or the children?
Is there more depth to the relationship than just sex?
Some questions to consider concerning your marriage/spouse
when your marriage feels like a roller coaster ride | Source Step 5: Get Off the Crazy Roller Coaster Ride
Don’t try to do or say things to get a response out of your spouse. It won’t work, at least not in the way you hope it will. Stop calling him all the time, trying to come up with a plausible excuse as to why you called when really, all you want to do is hear his voice. Stop trying to lure him back into your bed simply because the fact that he’s still having sex with you is making you feel like you have a 1-up on the other woman (if there is another woman). When you know you’ll be around him for whatever reason, stop wearing overly sexy clothes to try to get a response out of him. And for Christ’s sake, have some dignity! Have enough self-respect not to go begging and pleading on your knees, wailing for him to come back to you, begging for him to come back to you. Are you not better than that, that you have to beg and plead and cry and snot for a man to be with you? Getting off his crazy roller coaster will give you an insurmountable level of peace while you ride out the storm until God moves in your marriage.
Step 6: Accept What God Allows
I cannot see the future so I have no idea whether your marriage is truly over or not. But what I do know is this; often in life, we find ourselves in situations where we feel like if we don’t get our way (our marriage being saved), then somehow God has let us down. Even if you follow this hub to the T, praying incessantly for your spouse and your marriage, he might still file for a divorce. And when he does, there’s nothing you can do but go on with your life. Did God fail you? No. It just wasn’t in His will for your marriage to continue. In this case, you must accept what God allows.
my husband and me, surviving the threat of a divorce My Experience with My Husband’s Infidelity
At one point in my marriage, I found out that my husband was having an extramarital affair. To date, it is one of the most hurtful, soul-injuring experiences I’ve ever had to endure. How did I find out? No, he didn’t tell me. His behavior changed and as an intuitive woman, I became suspicious and began to investigate like only we women can do. I found her number and her address, contacted her, and she admitted to everything—of course, he denied it all at the time. That night, I had a barn fire in front of our house. But I didn’t use wood or trash. I used his clothes, every piece of it: hats, shoes, pants, coats, shirts—you name it, it went up in flames.
After that, I was certain that I didn’t want to be with him anymore. I felt embarrassed, humiliated, betrayed, insecure, devastated (just to name a few of my conflicting emotions). And just when you think it can’t get any worse, it did. He admitted to me that not only did he care deeply for this woman, but he wanted to be with her exclusively. His confession knocked the little breath I still had right out of my soul.
According to my husband, our marriage was over. According to me, I still wanted things to work but I couldn’t make him want to be with me. So you know what I did? I went on with my life, allowed him to do whatever he was doing with her, and waited patiently in prayer for God to knock some sense into my husband and restore my marriage. Waiting patiently is the hard part when you want your marriage to work and you want it to work now. Waiting patiently is gut-wrenching, especially in a society where we constantly receive instant gratification (instant oatmeal, rent-on-demand movies, fastfood restaurants, etc.)
Not only did I know this woman’s phone number and knew where she lived, I also knew what car she drove. I could have attempted to make her life a living hell in order to get my husband back, but I didn’t want to make someone be with me if he didn’t want to. Because I was fully aware that that woman wasn’t holding my husband hostage in her home; he was a willing participant who could leave at any time.
So I talked to God and told Him everything, how bad it was hurting me, how badly I wanted my marriage to work. And God spoke to me in a very clear voice, as though he was walking down the sidewalk beside me, and placed his lips near my ear and said, “He said your marriage is over…but what did I say?” And when God told me that, nothing else mattered. It didn’t matter what my husband was doing with the other woman; the only thing that mattered was that I knew in my soul that God had the final say on our marriage. Needless to say, even with my faith, this was a very difficult time in my life and I lost a tremendous amount of weight due to the depression I was fighting. But in less than a year’s time, God had restored my husband and my marriage.
It’s no walk in the park and we still have some kinks to iron out, but I’m regaining my trust in my husband day by day, and the fact that he’s so open about the affair and that we talk about it and the pain that it caused our marriage and our children, it is truly helping me to heal. Sharing my story with you all is also a part of the healing process.
wedding rings, overcoming divorce, making the marriage work | Source Is it Too Late for Your Marriage?After reading this hub, do you think there’s still hope to overcome a divorce in your situation? In Summary
In the face of divorce, you can still save your marriage. It’s never too late. Even after the dotted line is signed, God can restore and rebuild anything that He wants to restore and rebuild. Take the story of Lazarus for example. If he can raise from the dead a man whose body has already begun decomposing, then why can’t he raise your decomposing marriage from the dead? Even if your husband has left you, you can be physically absent from the marriage, but still faithfully present.
Just remember that there is power in prayer, that you need to control your emotions and not let them control you, and that you need to ask God to help you accept whatever he allows. Psalms 3, 4, and 5 gave me so much peace in that most depressive time of my marriage. I hope this hub and those 3 psalms bring you a measure of peace as well. No matter what, keep fighting for what you believe in and don’t let anybody tell you that you’re stupid for wanting your marriage to work.
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
© 2014 Jessica B Smith