Prayer for Those Who Mourn Bless those who mourn, eternal God,
with the comfort of your love
that they may face each new day with hope
and the certainty that nothing can destroy
the good that has been given. May their memories become joyful,
their days enriched with friendship,
and their lives encircled by your love.
–c 1991 Vienna Cobb Anderson, Adapted from “Prayers of Our Hearts”
Make Me Brave for LifeGod, make me brave for life: oh, braver than this.
Let me straighten after pain, as a tree straightens after the rain,
Shining and lovely again.
God, make me brave for life; much braver than this.
As the blown grass lifts, let me rise
From sorrow with quiet eyes,
Knowing Thy way is wise.
God, make me brave, life brings
Such blinding things.
Help me to keep my sight;
Help me to see aright
That out of dark comes light.
El Maley RachamimGod full of mercy who dwells on high
Grant perfect rest on the wings of Your Divine Presence
In the lofty heights of the holy and pure
who shine as the brightness of the heavens
to the soul of _______.
who has gone to his eternal rest
as all his family and friends
pray for the elevation of his soul.
His resting place shall be in the Garden of Eden.
Therefore, the Master of mercy will care for him
under the protection of His wings for all time
And bind his soul in the bond of everlasting life.
God is his inheritance and he will rest in peace
and let us say Amen.
Prayer for Bereaved ParentsGod, you sacrificed your son so that we and our children would transcend physical death. We know that you grieved when he was crucified and that you grieve over all the atrocities done by men — especially in your name. You know and understand grief as you know and understand all. You know best how to comfort these parents. Lift their hearts up to you and fill them with your peace. Your understanding is beyond our human comprehension, but give them the knowledge and faith to endure even that which they can’t understand. Let them be aware of you always God, and help them to remember that your Love is Life that can never really be taken away.
—Beliefnet member anacleo7
Love Is Stronger Than DeathLove is stronger than death.
So, I must be content to know that
love is not affected by death-
it doesn’t end, it doesn’t diminish,
it doesn’t change.
Instead, love is immortalized
and eternalized through death.
And the possibility of that love ever
being damaged or broken
is eliminated forever.
I’ll put my trust in love.
–c 2002 Mary Hollingsworth, “Little Taps on the Shoulder From God”
Entering Into the Gate of Heaven
Bring us, O Lord God, at our last awakening,
into the house and gate of heaven,
to enter into that gate, and dwell in that house where there shall be
no darkness nor dazzling, but one equal light;
no noise nor silence, but one equal music;
no fears nor hopes, but one equal possession;
no ends nor beginnings, but one equal eternity;
in the habitation of thy glory and dominion,
world without end. Amen.
A Prayer for the DeceasedGo your way to the land of the Ancestors,
where they wait for you with open arms,
there on the edge between this world and the next.
See; there they stand.
Ancestral spirits, welcome this one
to the place where we all must go.
–c 2002 Ceisiwr Serith, “A Book of Pagan Prayer”
Do Not Lose Heart
Therefore we do not lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light and momentary troubles
are achieving for us an eternal glory
that far outweighs them all.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal.
–2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Funeral PrayerO Allah, forgive and have mercy on him (or her). Grant him ease and respite. Make his resting place a noble one, and facilitate his entry. Cleanse him with water, snow and coolness, and purify him of wrongdoings a white cloth is purified of grime. Grant him an abode finer than his worldly one, and grant him entrance to Paradise and protect him from the chastisement of the grave, and protect him from the chastisement of the Fire.
–Muhammad, reprinted from “Remembrance and Prayer: The Way of the Prophet Muhammad”, by Muhammad Al Ghazali (trans. Yusuf Talal DeLorenzo)
A Commendation at the Time of DeathDepart, O Christian soul, out of this world;
In the Name of God the Father Almighty who created you;
In the Name of Jesus Christ who redeemed you;
In the Name of the Holy Spirit who sanctifies you.
May your rest be this day in peace,
and your dwelling place in the Paradise of God.
—Book of Common Prayer 1979
Perhaps social media has increased our awareness, but chances are you or someone you know is enduring a season of grief right now: the death of a loved one, friend, neighbor or coworker.
Loss always produces grief. There is no escaping it. If you try to deny it or postpone it, it will only gather force and become more debilitating the longer you try to suppress it. That is one reason prayer is an indispensable resource for a grieving heart. While intelligible prayer may seem impossible in the early days of a deep loss, one or more of the following prayers may become helpful as the shock begins to subside:
1) Pour out your grief.
“Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief” (Psalm 31:9, NIV). My heart is broken, my mind exhausted. I cry out to you and hardly know what to ask. All I can do is tell you how I feel and ask you to “keep track of all my sorrows. . . . all my tears in your bottle. . . . each one in your book” as I pour them out to you (Psalm 56:8, NLT). Amen.
Ask the OurPrayer team to pray for you!
2) Ask for comfort.
Jesus, You said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4, NIV). I am mourning; send me Your comfort now. Wrap around Your arms around me and hold me tight. Send angels of mercy to me. Shower Your comfort on me through those around me, and keep far from me those whose words and actions are no comfort. Amen.
3) Ask for healing.
O God, come to my assistance; O Lord, hurry to help me. Please take the consuming anguish I feel right now; take it from me and hold me in Your arms. Heal my broken heart and bind up my wounds (see Psalm 147:3). Amen.
4) Ask for peace.
Jesus, You told Your followers, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe in Me as well. . . . Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives” (John 14:1, 27, NIV). I need Your peace. I need “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding” to guard my heart and mind (Philippians 4:7, NIV). I need peaceful sleep. I ask for peaceful thoughts and emotions to rule my days and nights. Amen.
Read More: The Garden That Healed Our Grief
5) Ask for hope.
Lord, the Bible says You are “close to the brokenhearted and those whose spirits are crushed” (Psalm 34:18, NLT). Draw close to me and rescue me. Help me not to grieve like those who haven’t discovered Your kindness and mercy, who have no hope (see 1 Thessalonians 4:13); lift me up and give me hope once more. Help me to believe that tomorrow will be better, and the next day will be easier, and that a day will come when I will feel a surge of energy and expectation for what You are doing and where You will take me. Amen.
As the prayers above suggest, you may find special comfort in reading and praying the Psalms during a season of grief. They can help you take the time to grieve well and to pray as much as you are able.
LostNMissing Inc, 26 Noyes Rd., Londonderry, NH 03053 Phone: 603.548.6548.
“Rather than mourn the absence of the flame, let us celebrate how brightly it burned.”
This page is dedicated to one of our own, Christina Mancuso Henry, a two year volunteer with LostNMissing as a State Adm for Florida, and Iowa. Always offering to help, and the first to raise her hand, she will be terribly missed. Christina always possessed a sweet persona and was filled with compassion. We were honored to have her as a member of the team…and more so as a friend to all. This young mother of 3 was tragically shot and killed on May 2015.
Christina was only 29 years old. Our prayers for her children, family and all who love and will miss her. God Bless her soul. We love you, Chrissie.
Cynthia Caron and the team at LostNMissing Inc.
Remember me with smiles not tears,
For all the joy through all the years,
Don’t dwell on thoughts that cause you pain,
We’ll see each other once again,
I am at peace, try to believe,
It was my time, I had to leave,
But “what a view” I have from here,
I see your face,
I feel you near,
I follow you throughout the day,
You’re not alone along the way,
And when God calls you, you will be,
Right by my side,
right here with me.
Photo of the “Hand Holding”, in the 5-stages of grief, is of Cynthia Caron holding her mom’s hand during her final days, September 16, 2012.
The five stages of grief are:
1-Denial-“this can’t be happening to me”, looking for your loved one in familiar places, setting the table for the person or even wondering if a mistake was made and your loved one has not passed.
2-Anger-“why me?”, feelings of anger at the deceased, blaming them for “leaving”, angry at oneself for not saying “good things” the last time you parted ways, are just a few examples of common anger emotions.
3-Bargaining-attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back. This is especially common once a loved one’s earthly remains may have been located and an ID is pending.
4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.
5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault, they didn’t leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind) Many use the word “closure” and quiet honestly when may never find “closure”, but you can find acceptance. Many may find their lives will have changed towards the better following a loss and this could be that once the pain of losing someone occurs one may find solace or comfort in religion or more bonding with their present faith. Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, is part of the healing process. Because one is healed does not mean one will ever forget, nor should they. Your loved one wants you to live the rest of your life as joyful as possible. Your goals will one day turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of your loved one. Talk to them in prayer, or just talk to them if it brings you comfort. Many people have asked for signs that their loved one is safe. Be brave and keep faith that one day you will all meet again.
Complicated Grief: By Casey King,
Previous Executive Assistant – LostNMissing Inc
~There are some situations in which the typical handling of grief don’t apply. Many times, the nature of the relationship with the deceased person, the circumstances of the death, or things that occurred after the death can lead to something called complicated grief. Complicated grief is an intense and long-lasting form of grief that takes over a person’s life. After two months of being missing following a vehicle accident, my husband’s body was located. At the time of his disappearance, our children were five, four and three weeks old. There were many things left unsaid, and many questions left unanswered. I tried very hard to get help for my grief; attending groups, reading books and seeing a counselor. Through all of this I felt disconnected from the people who were trying to help me and other’s who were grieving. There were days that I couldn’t recognize my own children or make sense of daily routines. I would go through periods of extreme numbness, unable to feel empathy for even those I cared deeply about. I felt entirely alone, like no one in the world understood how I felt or what I was going through. I felt angry, even jealous at other’s in my grief group for being sad, when the loss they were grieving followed a lifetime of happiness. I could not relate to anyone. One day, while on the internet I stumbled upon the term called complicated grief on the following website: Finally, I understood what I was going through and had some confirmation that I was not alone. If you can relate in any way to my story, I urge you to click on the link. Below you will find some other informational links on complicated grief. My thoughts and prayers are with you all and I wish you peace in the days ahead. With hope, Casey King
Photo courtesy of Cynthia Caron, Pres/Founder of LostNMissing Inc. taken from her mother’s garden shortly before her mom passed away
on September 16, 2012
Life Must Go On
Grieve for me, for I would grieve for you.
Then brush away the sorrow and the tears
Life is not over, but begins anew,
With courage you must greet the coming years.
To live forever in the past is wrong;
It can only cause you misery and pain.
Dwell not on memories overlong,
With others you must share and care again.
Reach out and comfort those who comfort you;
Recall the years, but only for a while.
Nurse not your loneliness; but live again.
Forget not. Remember with a smile.
To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die. Thomas Campbell
Death is merely the gateway
into the arms of the Lord. Unknown
“And in the end it’s not the years in your
life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln
I recently had a family member of a missing brother, located deceased, tell me that her family is unhappy that she exposes her soul in grief to her brother publicly online. Apparently his wife and children do not like that she always writes on his “missing page” her feelings and the family feels grief should be “private.” It did not take me long to think about how to respond, after all I too turned “public” with my own grief in the passing of my mother 8 months ago, and I explained “It sounds like your family all grieve in different ways and this may be why you may find it puzzling as to their upset over grieving publicly?” I further explained, from my view, that one of the remarkable things about grieving online is that there is a world of support “at your fingertips” and it enables you to reach people who not only has experienced the same but also offer wonderful and kind words that you may never have heard before in your own small circle and family? Sometimes those words are the perfect messages of comfort that you never thought before which can help you through your grief.”
There is something about sharing emotions and learning new and positive ways to cope that aids in the grieving process. This is not something new on the internet, fact is many years ago entire villages used to gather to mourn the passing of another member of their community. All over the world there are different rituals and ceremonies built around public gatherings of strangers to mourn the loss of “one of their own.” We too do this in many ways from gathering when a young soldier is killed overseas and his or her body returns to our towns and we do the same when we have public candlelight vigils for our missing as well as for tragic deaths that may have occurred in our towns. I think in my own personal life the first “event” I was exposed to with a public “gathering” was when President John F. Kennedy was shot and all homes gathered around their televisions and everywhere I went with my parents I saw the grief and heard the conversations. There was something comforting about having such a bond and seeing so many people “experiencing the same” and being able to talk about it. Public postings on social network sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, is another way of being able to reach out in a more personal level to others for comfort and solace. It does not mean one is not receiving it “at home” or that one is looking for “attention’ it is merely one is using all tools available to them to gain insight and to bond and learn from others who have experienced the same…and every person who has ever had someone they love pass away can relate. I think it is a positive move towards healing and building self awareness and is healthy.
In helping her, I suggested that perhaps her sister in law is not in the same place of grief as to where she is and maybe the public posting makes her feel “uncomfortable” … as she is not at that level, or *stage, in her own grief process, and perhaps to avoid conflict or hurt feelings, she should consider starting her own page, or blog, in which she has the control if she wishes it to be public, or private. Sometimes having that page to go to to talk to her loved one can be very therapeutic and help with the healing process and since it will be linked to her own page…will not make other family members uncomfortable. .
….by Cynthia Caron, President/Founder of LostNMissing Inc.
“Don’t ask me how my child died. Ask me how he lived.”
I came up with this “saying” about 4 years ago while assisting a family whose son passed from suicide.
I think it is suiting for nearly all.
For those whose lives were taken by foul play, we find the Jewish law and the words from the Talmud as very profound and regardless of one’s religious beliefs, I think the words spoken are so very accurate.
Prayers for those families whose missing loved ones were taken from the hands of another. May you find strength.
Excellent articles to help cope
Helping Your Child Deal With Death
Overcoming the Loss of a Child Without Drugs or Alcohol: A Parent’s Guide
How Grief Can Make You Sick
Advice for surviving the death of a spouse or partner at a young age
How to Help an Elderly Parent Deal With the Death of a Spouse
How to Avoid Family Conflicts after the Death of a Parent
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Available 24 hours everyday
Suicide is like having “Tunnel Vision”
in which the deep despair, internal pain and feeling of hopelessness clouds sound thoughts of a better tomorrow. It’s not selfish, as some believe,
nor lack of knowing they’re loved…
it’s an emotional place,
within their mind in which the tunnel
is frantically “spinning” constant internal pain
of confusion, anguish, and exhaustion
in which, invariably when combined
with abysmal distress,
clouds rational thinking.
The only way out for those who suffer…
is at the end of the tunnel.
Those left behind suffer intense
guilt & pain of their own.
In time they’ll realize…
it was not their fault.
In time they’ll see…
it was not even the fault
of those they loved,
who passed of suicide.
ToolsVerse page’>Psalm 23:1-6
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. read more.
He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
ToolsVerse page’>John 3:16
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
ToolsVerse page’>Romans 8:38-39
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
ToolsVerse page’>Isaiah 4:1
For seven women will take hold of one man in that day, saying, “We will eat our own bread and wear our own clothes, only let us be called by your name; take away our reproach!”
ToolsVerse page’>1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. read more.
For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words.
ToolsVerse page’>Psalm 68:20
God is to us a God of deliverances; And to GOD the Lord belong escapes from death.
ToolsVerse page’>Isaiah 54:4
“Fear not, for you will not be put to shame; And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced; But you will forget the shame of your youth, And the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.
ToolsVerse page’>Hosea 13:14
Shall I ransom them from the power of Sheol? Shall I redeem them from death? O Death, where are your thorns? O Sheol, where is your sting? Compassion will be hidden from My sight.
ToolsVerse page’>Psalm 116:15
Precious in the sight of the LORD Is the death of His godly ones.
ToolsVerse page’>Revelation 14:13
And I heard a voice from heaven, saying, “Write, ‘Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on!'” “Yes,” says the Spirit, “so that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds follow with them.”
ToolsVerse page’>Ecclesiastes 8:8
No man has authority to restrain the wind with the wind, or authority over the day of death; and there is no discharge in the time of war, and evil will not deliver those who practice it.
ToolsVerse page’>John 13:7
Jesus answered and said to him, “What I do you do not realize now, but you will understand hereafter.”
ToolsVerse page’>John 14:27
“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.
ToolsVerse page’>Ecclesiastes 7:1
A good name is better than a good ointment, And the day of one’s death is better than the day of one’s birth.
ToolsVerse page’>Revelation 21:4
and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.”
ToolsVerse page’>Psalm 55:22
Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.
ToolsVerse page’>1 Corinthians 15:25-26
For He must reign until He has put all His enemies under His feet. The last enemy that will be abolished is death.
ToolsVerse page’>Job 14:5
“Since his days are determined, The number of his months is with You; And his limits You have set so that he cannot pass.
ToolsVerse page’>John 10:28-29
and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. “My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.
ToolsVerse page’>Ephesians 4:30
Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
ToolsVerse page’>Romans 8:18
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
ToolsVerse page’>John 14:3
“If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.
ToolsVerse page’>Romans 14:8
for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.