Dear Father John, I am a priest providing spiritual direction to a young man suffering with anger problems. He has recently returned to the sacraments. He is frustrated with God that he has asked him to take away this hurtful anger but God has not answered his prayer. Can you offer advice about how to overcome severe habitual challenges with anger?
Anger is the most complex of the human passions. Understanding its underlying dynamism will help give you some light, but first we can begin with some general comments pertinent to this particular case.
When Not to Worry
The young man has recently returned to the sacraments. This means he has recently undergone some kind of conversion; he has repented, turned away from the path leading far from God, and turned onto the straight, hard road leading to greater intimacy with God. The initial turn, the repentance, the conversion, can happen in a moment. But the transformation of behavior – from vices to virtues – rarely happens quickly. Usually, it is a painful and gradual process. But you should be seeing at least some progress right away. For instance, if the young man feels intense contrition (more than before) right away after an angry outburst; if the frequency of his outbursts is decreasing; if the intensity of them is decreasing; if he is able to recover from them, ask forgiveness, and repair the damage more quickly…
His conversion was sincere, and he is now praying and receiving the sacraments, so there should be some sign of progress. If this is the case, I would recommend simply continuing the normal means of spiritual growth, and supporting him closely in this initial stage of his re-version. If he is showing no progress, however, or if his anger issues are even worsening, in spite of his efforts to grow spiritually, extraordinary means may be necessary. To understand what means can be used, we need to understand the internal dynamism of anger.
Why We Get Angry
Anger is a passion of the soul that follows on our experience of some present evil (an injustice, a pain, an attack against our person of some sort) that we judge to be overcome-able. If a present evil is judged to be non-overcome-able, we simply feel deep sadness and painful resignation. But if we perceive that a bad thing is happening to us, and we think that our resistance to that bad thing can actually yield good results, we feel anger, and the feeling of anger moves us to act out against the perceived evil. If someone, for example, is insulting me and causing those around me to think badly of me, I may feel anger if I perceive that I can counteract the insults and turn the tables to save face. And the feeling of anger will move me to retaliate, to defeat the insulting attack.
The Morality of Anger
Anger as a passion of the soul is morally neutral – we just feel it, because we are created that way; that’s how human nature is designed. It becomes moral (righteous anger) or immoral (the sin of anger) depending on how we deal with the feeling. The feeling is meant to be governed by our reason (and as Christians, our reason is meant to be enlightened by our faith). If a coworker insults me unintentionally in a meeting, I may feel anger welling up in my soul. If I choose to let that anger dictate my actions, I may lash out at my colleague, creating a scene, damaging a relationship, and disrupting whatever we were supposed to be working on. That’s uncontrolled, unjustified, disproportionate anger – it is a form of self-centeredness, of sin. If I choose to rein in the feeling of anger through the acts of patience and mercy, I avoid that damaging fallout, and I avoid the sin of anger.
From Sin to Vice
If a person has habitually allowed free rein to their feelings of anger, instead of governing them with reason and faith, they will gradually form the vice of anger: a habitual disposition to commit the sin of anger. Some people have by nature a choleric and stormy temperament, and they have a kind of built-in tendency to fall into this sin and develop this vice. For those people, forming the virtues of patience and mercy (the virtues we use to govern the passion of anger) may be very difficult indeed. And they may spend their whole lives engaging in the struggle. But with God’s grace, they can indeed form those virtues, and if the struggle is particularly hard, they will be crowned by our Lord with particular merit and give great glory to God through their spiritual battle.
If the person you refer to in your question is already showing small signs of improvement in this area, we can assume that he is beginning to grow in virtue, and that this growth will gradually eliminate the vice. But he must persevere. Growth in virtue takes time, effort, and decision, especially if the vice has been deeply rooted for an extended period of time.
If he has shown no progress, even though he has tried to improve, then another element may be involved. His anger may not merely be a vice (a habitual disposition to sin which has been formed by repeated, self-centered choices); it may also be a compulsion. Compulsive anger can have mixed causes. It can be linked to a vice, but it can also be rooted in a psychological condition. In such a case, the anger is a kind of defense mechanism. The person in question perceives innocent actions of others as attacks, and responds with angry outbursts – “acts out” in exceptionally unreasonable and uncontrollable ways. This is because there is some wound in his psyche that is festering. Like an infected cut, it is hypersensitive. And so, comments and actions of others that should not be seen as attacks (that are objectively not attacks at all) are perceived as attacks. And the resulting anger is the defense-mechanism; it is shielding a wound that has nothing to do with the specific situations about which the person keeps getting angry.
If this is a habitual situation, and normal means for spiritual growth have not shown any improvement, then a reasonable next step would be to have the person see a dependable Christian counselor or psychologist, someone who can help identify and heal the underlying psychological wound that is really causing the angry outbursts. Here is a link that can help you find Catholic therapists: www.catholictherapists.com. And here is a link that can help you find Christian counselors: Christian counselors in your area.
There is one more level of complexity that we should mention. If someone has suffered psychologically, and the anger is compulsive, there may also be spiritual forces present exacerbating the wound and impeding it from being healed. The devil’s favorite weapon is lying. And often, psychological wounds are based on lies: “I am unloveable; I will never be loveable…” If an experience of abuse or violent rejection at a young age created a deeply ingrained psychological condition in a person based on lies like this, then the devil can prey on that weakness, exacerbating the self-hatred, exaggerating the lie, and causing the psychological infection, so to speak, to spread. In this case, healing masses and prayers of deliverance can be a helpful complement to solid Christian counseling and a program for spiritual growth.
It is often difficult to identify this type of demonic activity. Personally, I would rarely recommend that someone undergo formalized prayers of deliverance without also having a program of spiritual growth and being involved in adequate counseling. Not everyone would agree with me on this point, I know. The reason I say that is because it is so easy to blame everything on the devil and become obsessed with deliverance, to the point of neglecting both our own capacity to grow in virtue, and also the value of solid psychological counseling. Nevertheless, as a priest, you can offer a prayer of deliverance over someone after confession, and this can have a significant spiritual impact. To find out more about deliverance ministry, this is a good place to start:
As you can see, anger is no simple thing! I promise to pray for the person you are helping, and I ask our other readers to say a prayer for him as well.
Art for this post on how to help someone who suffers with severe anger issues: Tiroler Bäuerin (Tyrolean Peasant Woman), Anita Rée, 1921, PD-US published or registered with the US copyright office before January 1, 1923, Wikimedia Commons.
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Fr. John Bartunek, LC
Fr. John Bartunek, LC, S.Th.D, received his BA in History from Stanford University in 1990. He comes from an evangelical Christian background and became a member of the Catholic Church in 1991. After college, he worked as a high school history teacher, drama director, and baseball coach. He then spent a year as a professional actor in Chicago before entering the religious Congregation of the Legionaries of Christ in 1993. He was ordained a Catholic priest in 2003 and earned his doctorate in moral theology in 2010. He provided spiritual support on the set of Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ” while researching the 2005 Catholic best seller,
“Inside the Passion”
–the only authorized, behind-the-scene explanation of the film. Fr. John has contributed news commentary regarding religious issues on NBC, CNN, Fox, and the BBC. He also served as the English-language press liaison for the Vatican’s 2005 Synod of Bishops on the Eucharist. His most widely known book is called:
“The Better Part: A Christ-Centered Resource for Personal Prayer”
. His most recent books are
“Spring Meditations””Seeking First the Kingdom: 30 Meditations on How to Love God with All Your Heart, Soul, Mind and Strength”
“Answers: Catholic Advice for Your Spiritual Questions”
. Fr. John currently splits his time between Michigan (where he continues his writing apostolate and serves as a confessor and spiritual director at the Queen of the Family Retreat Center) and Rome, where he teaches theology at Regina Apostolorum. His online, do-it-yourself retreats are available at
, and he answers questions about the spiritual life at
Most Powerful Wazifa Prayer for Angry Husband | Dua Prayer for Husband anger issues | How to control husbands anger taweez- Badmizaj shohar ke liye gussa e shohar ko gulam banane ka wazifa | Shohar ka gussa khatam karne ki dua
For husband anger issues perform this powerful Wazifa for Angry Husband | How to control husbands anger dua to make angry husband cheerful and soft heartened. The method to perform the prayer for husband anger issues is as follows :
( اَللّٰھُمَّ صَلِّ عَلٰی سَیِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدِ نِ الَّذِیْ مَلأتَ قَلْبَہ مِنْ جَلَالِکَ وَعَیْنَیْہِ مِنْ جَمَالِکَ فَأصْبَحَ فَرِحًا مَّسْرُوْرًا مُّؤَ یَّدًا مَّنْصُوْرًا (شرح منھاج لشیخ علامہ کمال الدین دمیری
- Read this Durood-e-Shareef for 101 times.
- Blow it on some sweet and give this to your husband to eat.
- In sha ALLAH his anger will come to an end and he will become cheerful.
FOR QUICK SOLUTION OF YOUR PROBLEMS (& AMULETS SERVICE) CONTACT
- 1 BADMIZAJ SHOHAR KE LIYE GUSSA E SHOHAR KO GULAM BANANE KA WAZIFA | SHOHAR KA GUSSA KHATAM KARNE KI DUA :
- 2 NOTE:- 1) Yeh amal tab hi asar dikhayega jab keh:
- 3 What Are the Types of Anger Disorders?
- 4 Passive Anger
- 5 Aggressive Anger
- 6 What Causes Anger?
- 7 What Are the Signs of an Anger Management Problem?
- 8 Emotional Symptoms of Anger-Related Problems
- 9 Physical Symptoms of Anger-Related Problems
- 10 Short-Term and Long-Term Effects of Anxiety
- 11 Is There a Test or Self-Assessment I Can Do?
- 12 Anger Medication: Anti-Anger Drug Options
- 13 Anger Drugs: Possible Options
- 14 Medication Side Effects
- 15 Anti-Anger Drug Addiction, Dependence and Withdrawal
- 16 Medication Overdose
- 17 Depression and Anger
- 18 Dual Diagnosis: Addiction and Anger
- 19 Getting Help for Anger-Related Problems
BADMIZAJ SHOHAR KE LIYE GUSSA E SHOHAR KO GULAM BANANE KA WAZIFA | SHOHAR KA GUSSA KHATAM KARNE KI DUA :
Badmizaj shohar ke liye gussa e shohar ko gulam banane ka wazifa | Shohar ka gussa khatam karne ki dua ka tareeqa yeh hai :
( اَللّٰھُمَّ صَلِّ عَلٰی سَیِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدِ نِ الَّذِیْ مَلأتَ قَلْبَہ مِنْ جَلَالِکَ وَعَیْنَیْہِ مِنْ جَمَالِکَ فَأصْبَحَ فَرِحًا مَّسْرُوْرًا مُّؤَ یَّدًا مَّنْصُوْرًا (شرح منھاج لشیخ علامہ کمال الدین دمیری
- Is Durood-e-Shareef ko 101 martaba padhein.
- Kisi mithayi par dum karke shohar ko khiladein.
- In sha ALLAH shohar ka dil naram hojayega.
APNE MASAIL KE JALDI HAL (AUR TAWEEZAT) KE LIYE RABTA KAREIN
1) This wazifa will be effective only when:
The Quranic verses, duas and wazaif are read with correct pronounciation in accordance with arabic rules of reciting Quran.
Performed with complete faith on Almighty ALLAH.Those who do not know to read Quran/Duas with correct pronounciation kindly learn it from a muallim/muallima. For Quran learning Contact
http://islamicourses.com/child_qaida.php Those who want to become an amil of this wazifa contact us
3) Even after performing this amal if someone is not getting success then contact us.You can also collect Amulet/Islamic seals for the solution of your problem.
In sha ALLAH A’zzawajal with the help of Amulet/Islamic seals results will be faster. All these amulets/seals will be in accordance with Quran and Hadith.
Contact Expert Amil Mohammad Yousuf, +92-3232344555
NOTE:- 1) Yeh amal tab hi asar dikhayega jab keh:
Qurani ayaat/ duayein aur wazaif ko durust makharij ke saath arabi qawaneen ke mutabik padha jaye.
ALLAH tala par mukammal yaqeen aur bharose ke saath kiya jaye.Jinhe Quran/duayein sahi makharij se padhni nahi aati wo kisi muallim/muallima se hidayat lein. Online Quran Nazara Tarjuma ke liye is number par rabta karein.
http://islamicourses.com/child_qaida.php Is wazife ke mahir banna chahte hain wo humse rabta karein.
3) Is amal ko karne ke bawajud bhi kamyabi hasil nahi horahi ho toh humse rabita karein. Agar masle ka hal ke liye Taweez/naqsh lena chahen toh wo bhi miljayega.
In Sha ALLAH A’zzawajal taweez/naqsh ke zariye se mushkilaat jald hal hojayengi.
Yeh taweez/naqsh Quran-O-Hadith ke ain mutabik honge.
Contact Mahir Amil Mohammad Yousuf, +92-3232344555
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#Powerful Wazifa for Angry Husband | Dua Prayer for Husband anger issues | How to control husbands anger taweez- Badmizaj shohar ke liye gussa e shohar ko gulam banane ka wazifa | Shohar ka gussa khatam karne ki dua#
Please help me to dwell on the good and the positive in my life. I know that it is You who examines our hearts. Search the inner depths of my heart and expose anything that is not of You so I can be set free of it.
Lord, where I have directed anger toward others in my life or held anger inside of me, I confess that as sin and ask You to take this burden of anger away from my soul. Heal any wounds that I have inflicted, through my words and actions, in others and myself. Help me to speak sweet words of healing, and to bring Your restoration to every situation where it is needed, for I know that pleases You.
Thank You, Lord, that You will redeem my soul in peace from the battle that is against me. I believe that You, the God of peace will crush the enemy under my feet. Help me to depart from thoughts of anger and bouts with depression; help me to seek peace and actively pursue it. Help me to live righteously because I know there is a connection between the presence of Your Holy Spirit and the fruits of self-control, peace, and joy. Thank You that You will take away all anger in me and keep me in perfect peace, because my mind is fixed on You Father. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
According to a study conducted by the Harvard Medical School, close to 8 percent of adolescents display anger issues that qualify for lifetime diagnoses of intermittent explosive disorder. Anger issues aren’t limited to teens, and it’s important to understand anger symptoms, causes and effects if you suspect you are, or someone you know is, suffering from an anger disorder.
What Are the Types of Anger Disorders?
Individuals who have trouble controlling anger or who experience anger outside of a normal emotional scope can present with different types of anger disorders. Different experts have published contradicting lists of anger types, but some widely accepted forms of anger include:
- Chronic anger, which is prolonged, can impact the immune system and be the cause of other mental disorders
- Passive anger, which doesn’t always come across as anger and can be difficult to identify
- Overwhelmed anger, which is caused by life demands that are too much for an individual to cope with
- Self-inflicted anger, which is directed toward the self and may be caused by feelings of guilt
- Judgmental anger, which is directed toward others and may come with feelings of resentment
- Volatile anger, which involves sometimes-spontaneous bouts of excessive or violent anger
People experiencing passive anger may not even realize they are angry. When you experience passive anger, your emotions may be displayed as sarcasm, apathy or meanness. You might participate in self-defeating behaviors such as skipping school or work, alienating friends and family, or performing poorly in professional or social situations. To outsiders, it will look like you are intentionally sabotaging yourself, although you may not realize it or be able to explain your actions.
Because passive anger may be repressed, it can be hard to recognize; counseling can help you identify the emotions behind your actions, bringing the object of your anger to light so you can deal with it.
Individuals who experience aggressive anger are usually aware of their emotions, although they don’t always understand the true roots of their ire. In some cases, they redirect violent anger outbursts to scapegoats because it is too difficult to deal with the real problems. Aggressive anger often manifests as volatile or retaliatory anger and can result in physical damages to property and other people. Learning to recognize triggers and manage anger symptoms is essential to dealing positively with this form of anger.
What Causes Anger?
A leading cause of anger is a person’s environment. Stress, financial issues, abuse, poor social or familial situations, and overwhelming requirements on your time and energy can all contribute to the formation of anger. As with disorders such as alcoholism, anger issues may be more prevalent in individuals who were raised by parents with the same disorder. Genetics and your body’s ability to deal with certain chemicals and hormones also play a role in how you deal with anger; if your brain doesn’t react normally to serotonin, you might find it more difficult to manage your emotions.
What Are the Signs of an Anger Management Problem?
Losing your cool from time to time doesn’t mean you have an anger management problem. Mental health professionals look at trends in your behavior, emotional symptoms and physical symptoms to diagnose an anger disorder.
Emotional Symptoms of Anger-Related Problems
You might think the emotional symptom of anger-related problems are limited to anger, but a number of emotional states could indicate that you are failing to deal with anger in a positive and healthy fashion. Constant irritability, rage and anxiety are possible emotional symptoms.
If you feel overwhelmed, have trouble organizing or managing your thoughts or fantasize about hurting yourself or others, you could be experiencing an anger disorder or another issue. Don’t wait for these emotions to take control of your life; maintain control by calling our hotline today at . Representatives are available to listen and offer advice 24/7.
Physical Symptoms of Anger-Related Problems
Strong emotions often bring about physical changes to the body, and anger is no exception. Letting anger issues go unaddressed can put your overall health at risk. Some physical symptoms of anger-related problems include:
- Heart palpitations or tightening of the chest
- Increased blood pressure
- Pressure in the head or sinus cavities
Short-Term and Long-Term Effects of Anxiety
Unresolved anger issues lead to anxiety, which can have long-term effects on your life. Immediate effects of anxiety might include dizziness, rapid breathing, nausea, muscle pain, muscle tension, headaches, and problems with concentration and memory. Such symptoms can make it difficult to perform routine tasks and can add to generalized anger about life.
Long-term anxiety can pose dangerous risks to your physical and emotional states. Individuals who suffer from long bouts of anxiety can be at a greater risk for strokes. Serious memory loss, chronic sleep disorders and relationship issues can also develop. Before your anger and anxiety wreak havoc with your entire life, find out what you can do to stop the cycle by calling .
Is There a Test or Self-Assessment I Can Do?
A number of self-assessment tests are available online to help you to recognize any anger and anxiety issues you may be experiencing. If you take an online test, it’s a good idea to ensure that it was written and published by someone recognized as an expert in the mental health field.
Even if the test is offered by a reputable organization, you should never allow a self-diagnosis or an online test to direct your course of treatment. Individuals who think they might be suffering from anger issues should speak to professional counselors, family physicians or volunteers from local healthcare organizations.
Anger Medication: Anti-Anger Drug Options
Mental health professionals recommend counseling, group therapy sessions and anger management classes as treatment options for anger disorders. In some cases, medication may be helpful in controlling emotions and chemical reactions in the body that lead to uncontrollable anger.
Anger Drugs: Possible Options
The type of drugs prescribed will depend on individual circumstances and take into account other diagnoses. Possible options include:
- Prozac or other antidepressants
- Benzodiazepines known to treat anxiety, such as Klonopin
- Lithium or other medications known to stabilize mood
Medication Side Effects
According to reports, up to 50 percent of patients on lithium experience renal-related side effects. These effects are usually reversed by medical care or discontinuation of the drug but serve as a good illustration of why you should only take medication for anger symptoms while under the care of a physician. Other side effects for different anger-related medications include:
- Increased thirst
- Changes in thought patterns
Anti-Anger Drug Addiction, Dependence and Withdrawal
It’s important to understand whether your anti-anger drug could be addictive. Addiction to the drug will depend on your own personality, your body’s chemical makeup and the drug itself. Discuss the dangers associated with dependence and withdrawal with your healthcare provider, and make sure you follow instructions regarding the dosage closely. If you experience side effects, find yourself wanting more of the medication, or are unable to stop taking the medication, talk to your doctor immediately.
To reduce the chance of medication overdose, always follow dosage requirements. If you experience health issues while taking the medication, report them immediately to the prescribing physician because physical symptoms could be an indicator that your dose is too high.
Depression and Anger
Depression and anger go hand in hand and can cause a revolving cycle that’s hard to break. Lashing out in anger can lead to alienation and feelings of guilt, which can lead to depression. Long-term depression can make it difficult to handle emotions, increasing the likelihood of anger outbursts. Often, the only way to break this cycle is to seek professional help.
Dual Diagnosis: Addiction and Anger
Drug and alcohol addictions can decrease your ability to deal with anger. It’s important to seek treatment options that deal with emotional and physical issues related to your disorder. A treatment program that addresses anger without dealing with addiction leaves you vulnerable to emotional issues in the future. Likewise, attending a group to discuss your addiction without mentioning your struggle with anger makes it likely you’ll use drugs or alcohol to deal with emotional pain in the future.
Getting Help for Anger-Related Problems
The first step to taking control of your life is to seek help for your anger-related problem. Treatment resources include inpatient facilities, outpatient programs, individual and group therapy, and medication. Call us today at to find out what you can do to start on the path to recovery today. Learning about anger symptoms, causes and effects will help you address your disorder in a healthy and positive way.