Prayer when angry with a person

Prayer When Angry With a Loved One

God, I am so angry right now. I am disappointed with my ____________(spouse, child(-ren), boss, friend, pastor, etc.). Help me to not ignore this feeling. And, help me to name my anger in the context of this relationship, not suppressing it or pretending it’s not there. In Your holy name, Amen.

Prayer When Disappointed With a Family Member

O God of creation, I have been disappointed once again. My family member has betrayed my trust. I don’t think I can trust again. Help me speak to her/him soon and express that what happened angered me. I don’t like having conversations like this, so I need Your help. In God’s name, Amen. 

Prayer When Grieving and Angry

Oh God, You know me. I am angry that ______ (name) has died. I know death comes unexpectedly or when anticipated, and I am angry right now because I long for this person. I have a hole in my heart. Hold me as I feel this. In Your comforting name, Amen.

Prayer When Hope Is Dashed

God of our Lord Jesus Christ, I am angry that what I had hoped for did not happen. I was so sure that You blessed this. I am lost right now. Teach me what to do. Hold me even as I am angry. Guide me to eventually pick up the pieces of what’s been broken. In Your name, Amen.

Prayer When an Employment Opportunity Evaporates

Dear God, I don’t think it’s fair that I did not get the job. I had prepared myself, had great interviews and got good feedback from the interviewers. Now, I’ve been told that someone else got the position! I am angry right now; it feels like I have to start all over. Show me how I can express this anger and not bottle it up inside. In Your name, Amen.

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We’ve all had those moments… when you get so irritated and angry that you’d rather claw the eyes out of someone rather than speak one nice word to them. You feel heat shooting up through your chest and out of your ears like an overheating locomotive engine. Your eyes bug out, the vein in your forehead bulges like those in the Incredible Hulk, and the hair on your head stands at attention despite the hairspray or tube of hair paste you smeared in it. Your teeth clench like a pit bull and every thought in your head at that moment strikes out like flying daggers from a master black belt ninja.  You are mad, and you want everyone, including Facebook and Twitter, to know it!

When we are angry the one thing we want is resolution or justice. Rarely do we want to be sweet and even less do we want to pray. However, prayer works and though we can find alternative ways to help our anger, prayer works best. Here are some ways that can help you pray through your anger before anger gets over on you.

Jesus gave us a great example: “In the temple he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves, and the money changers seated at their tables.  Making a whip of cords, he drove all of them out of the temple, both the sheep and the cattle.  He also poured out the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables.  He told those who were selling the doves, “Take these things out of here!  Stop making my Father’s house a market place!” John 2:14 -16

Breathe slowly…act slowly. When Jesus became angry, he didn’t automatically start reacting. He did an activity that slowed down his actions and calmed his nerves some and gave him proper focus to teach a spiritual lesson. Often when we are angry all we can think of is immediate resolve, which can skew our rational thinking. When the adrenaline is flowing fast, it’s hard to not respond. Slow down. Think about your situation and what you are going to do before you do it.  Breathe deep and slow. Pray for God to show you how you should respond. Think about what He would do.

Be rational. If you are going to speak at that moment ask yourself if your action are rational, and can help the situation. If they will not help, then don’t do it, or say it. Many arguments and situations are made worse by the way people react in their anger. Saying hurtful words in response will not help. Hitting someone will not help. Doing abusive behavior to that person or to you will not help. Again, ask God how you should respond. Walk away, if necessary, and then come back to the situation when you can think straight.

Weigh the problem. Ask yourself if the problem is really that big in light of all of life or eternity. Too many relationships are damaged over small things that really don’t matter.

Write it down.  If you can’t discuss or address a problem calmly, try to write down your feelings and thoughts. Putting your words on paper is much better than throwing them at another individual. Writing will often release emotions and help us clarify what is bothering us. Emotional responses can be communicated wrong and often one wrong word can permanently damage. After writing down your response, pray for God to help you share what you’ve written in a calm manner.

Accept responsibility. If you are partly or fully the cause of the problem, accept responsibility; don’t try to cover it or justify your behavior. Covering your shortcomings doesn’t help anything. Responding in anger because someone addressed a wrong you did won’t fix the wrong or help you to change. We can only change when we accept our fault. Ask God to help you be true and accountable. We all make mistakes but God can help us overcome them when we ask for help.

Accept that others make mistakes. None of us are perfect. Give grace to others when they mess up, like you want them to show grace to you. Forgive them, as you want them to forgive you. If you do not forgive, God cannot forgive you. Pray for God to help you to forgive and let go of wrong doings instead of letting it become a bitter poison in you.

Tell God you are mad. It’s ok to tell God how you feel, even when you are really mad. Be honest. When we are open, and don’t hold things in, then we can heal and become more rational. Hiding anger will only cause bitterness and a revengeful spirit.

Here is a sample prayer you can pray when you are dealing with anger:

Lord, I’m really angry. Things seem unfair and things aren’t right. Right now I want to say things I shouldn’t, or do something to get revenge. I want to scream at the world or at person who hurt me, but that won’t do any good. Please, I need help to deal with this. I don’t want to think these bad thoughts; help me to dwell on the good and the positive things in my life. Help me get rid of this burning inside my heart.

Lord, I know to hold anger in my spirit is wrong. I have some bitterness and unforgiveness in me. I’ve reacted wrong to others and said some things at times that I shouldn’t have. I’ve hurt others and not just myself being this angry. I confess this, and ask You to forgive me and take this anger away. Heal any wounds that I have inflicted, through my words and actions, in others and myself. Help me to speak kind words and forgive. Help me to make things right with those that I have been angry with.

 I ask you to help me think good thoughts. I don’t need revenge; that is your job. I need peace and I want this situation to make me a better person. Help me to learn something from it that is good.

 As Your Word says; “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee.” I will react right. I will make amends. I will not let my emotions control me. I will respond as You did… with love and forgiveness.

 In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Colleen Clabaugh
Kids & Youth Prayer Coordinator – World Network of Prayer

prayer when angry with a person

How Prayer Helps

(When You’re Angry or Frustrated)

What to you do when you’re frustrated or angry? My frustration usually follows a path sort of like this:

  1. I think: “This isn’t fair.”
  2. I let my mind spiral out of control.
  3. I let my attitude go into the toilet.
  4. I spout off.
  5. I throw back the garbage that is thrown at me. (I get angry at the angry person. I get snippy with the person who hurt me with words.)
  6. I end up a stinking mess in my relationships and circumstances.
  7. I sulk around with a stinking attitude.

I’ve learned that following that frustration and anger script leads to no good. I’m not fun to be around, and I treat others horrible. It reflect God’s nature, and I usually feel worst not better.

As I’ve matured as a person and Christian I’ve learned a better way:

  1. Be quiet inside and out: Control my thoughts
  2. Stay out of it. I don’t have to join every fight that I’m invited to.
  3. Control my words. I can be the adult and hold it in.
  4. Turn to God.
  5. Pray.

What is Prayer?

  1. Prayer is talking to God.
  2. Prayer is having access to the Creator of the universe, and having open communication with Him. (If you’re not in the mood to pray there is one thing that can get you there fast. Look around and notice something amazing about creation. Look at the stars. Study your house plant. Be amazed by the way your fingers work.)
  3. Prayer is opening yourself up to listening to the God who created all, oversees all, and breaths life into every living creature. (He’s someone worth listening to!)

What you need to know about God when you pray:

  1. God is all-powerful.
  2. God is all-knowing.
  3. God has a good plan for your life.
  4. God loves you completely.
  5. God is fully capable of meeting each and every need you have … He often just does it in ways you don’t expect.
  6. God is fully capable in dealing with our stinking attitudes.

Of course we can know a lot about God, but we still do not know how to pray. Instead of suggesting quiet times or journals as the “answers” to effective prayer, we need to go deeper than that.

How to pray:

Pray with a pure heart.

I often pray both of these Scriptures. Through God’s Word, I ask Him to clean my heart. (Don’t be surprised if He points out areas the He wants to help you with!)

Psalm 139:23-24 NLT

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
 test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
 and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Psalm 51:10 NLT

Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.
As you seek a pure heart, repent of your sins. God will not listen if your heart and mind is full of sin. Ask God to give you a pure heart.

God’s Word says that once you ask for forgiveness it’s like those things never happened. They’re gone for good.

Pray with pure motives.

Why do you want God to answer your prayers?

If you WANT something because you’re being greedy, or for pleasure or ease … you probably won’t get it.

But if you are praying for God’s will than everything changes.

When you pray, are you praying according to the Bible: for others, for peace, for joy, for love? Are you praying to know God better? THESE are the prayers He loves to answer.

Pray with pure trust.

When you pray with trust you don’t have to handle it all on your own. We need to trust that God is listening to our prayers. We need to wait patiently, and know the God’s answers will come in God’s perfect time.

One Scripture that I turn to often is Psalm 37:7.

“Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act.”

Waiting patiently means believing that God loves you completely, and He will ALWAYS do what is best for you. When we allow frustration and anger to overwhelm us—and when we try to handle things with on our own—we end up with a stinking attitude in stinking circumstances.

Yet when we turn over our frustrations to God with a clean heart, pure motives, and pure trust, God will show up and change you from ways you can’t imagine … starting from the inside out! That’s something we can all look forward to!

Download the printable and keep nearby when you find yourself angry or frustrated!

prayer when angry with a person

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