Prayer for going through divorce

by Diana (Miami)

hey my name is Diana. I am 12 years old. I am writing this because my parents just got divorced, my mom, little brother, and me are going through rough times now since my dad has left. plus, my dad doesn’t give money to buy what is needed for us and the house, the only thing he cares about is his drugs and his girlfriend.

We are going to lose the house pretty soon and he doesn’t care. I will like if you can pray for my dad can get better and for my mom to have faith in god because she sometimes feels like killing herself because of the things she has had to go through with my dad.

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When recovering from divorce we often struggle not so much to believe in God, but rather to believe that He is there with us and loves us despite our feelings of being broken.  The following is a way to pray that helps us to eventually be able to ask for “Where are you God?” moments where we see Him at work in all circumstances.

How to pray this way:

1.  Use your “Nothing left” moments as your entry level prayer. Are you at that point?  The point where there is nothing left?  You’ve screamed at the ceiling, you’ve pounded the walls of the rat-trap that barely passes for an apartment calling out to God for the exact reason why your marriage failed.  You have sat staring into the night sky wonder how a God who knows every name of every star you see…yet He couldn’t hold your marriage together.  You have recounted your story time and time again of being served with those papers and the embarrassment, shame and misery they have brought.  You have told your story to strangers in the hopes of finding answers.  You have spent sleepless nights wondering how this could have happened and what to do next.  Begin by entertaining the thought that God was with you and that your questions and doubts and moments of emptiness were the start of a prayer dialogue with Him.  Why?  Because the Bible says: “God is near the brokenhearted; He saves those crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18, HSCB)

2.  Ask God to help you believe Him. I have to go to God and ask for help, even help to believe, because I cannot do this on my own.  I get down, despondent, troubled, perplexed, agitated, and angry.  In those moments I have to summon the courage to say these words: “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21)  They are hard words to say because there has to be belief behind them that God is in charge and that I do believe in Him.

For years that are unnumbered, God has been telling us the story of His love.  We have read of His might, works, wonders and love.  We may believe that there is a God who has, can and will do these things.  However, the question is really one of: “do we believe God?”  Not, “Do we believe in God?” but do we believe Him?

3.  Ask God to help you believe He has a plan for your life. Nothing surprises God.  Your situation in life did not catch God off guard.  He didn’t walk out of the room to get a cup of coffee, come back, find out what happened to you after the fact, then smack His forehead and start formulating a plan to dig you out of the hole you find yourself in.  He didn’t start chastising the guardian angel corps for dropping the ball while He was out of the room.  He is in the same place for your problem that He was when His own Son died: on His throne.

Do you really believe God knows you exist and that you’re in a world of hurt?  Do you still believe that He has a plan for your life?  Do you understand that this is not the end?

4.  Talk to God about your sense of failure and then listen as He tells you about why it doesn’t matter to Him. Failed?  You?  Your failures pale in comparison to more notable people who have failed.  Moses killed a man with his bare hands.  Peter denied Jesus three times.  Paul murdered those who he later came to call the “brother” and “sister”.  You’re playing Class “A” baseball compared to just these three and there are more.  The Bible contains sixty-six books of people who were failures and all of them are loved ferociously by God.  He loves you with the same ferocity.

Even as I write this I fear failing my wife and my kids.  God said don’t fear.  “For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love and sound judgment.”  (2 Timothy 1:7)

Do I believe God?  I have to.  I have nothing else.

5.  Run to God, not away from Him. Believe in God. Now is the time to run to God, not the other way.  Now is the time to deepen your relationship with God, not walk away from God.

There’s the crux of the matter: getting to know God.  We thought we knew God.  I have heard the story of an interview conducted with Billy Graham where he was asked, if he could go back what one thing would he change?  His answer: to know Christ better.

If the great pastoral icon of our time says that he believes that a better walk with Christ is the one thing he would change about his life, where does that leave you and me?  Here is a man who has proclaimed the Gospel to millions, read and studied the Bible more than most men ever will, written books about knowing God…and yet he desires to know God more.                “Get to know God.”

If we know God better we will believe in Him.  We will trust Him.   Again, I ask you the question: Do you believe in Him?

Take comfort in the words of Christ:

“Your heart must not be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if not, I would have told you. I am going away to prepare a place for you.  If I go away and prepare a place for you, I will come back and receive you to Myself, so that where I am you may be also.  You know the way where I am going.” (John 14:1-4, HCSB)

6.  Pray “Where are you God?” every day expecting to find Him.

Three years after my divorce God introduced me to a wonderful woman named Kelly and we later married after much prayer.  From the very beginning of our relationship Kelly and I have had to call upon God to show us that He is still involved and interested in our lives.  We made a point in prayer to ask God to show Himself evident in the situation we found ourselves in.  Kind of a “where are You, God?” moment.   God answered.

As an example, before our marriage, Kelly was searching for a job in Texas.  It is a tremendous task to try and search for a job when you live 1499 miles away.  Kelly had applied to several school districts around the Dallas/Fort Worth area, but had not received any replies.  It was imperative that Kelly find a job because the house we had just purchased, which we felt God had provided and in which I was now living, was only affordable if we had a two-income budget to live on.  We reached the “fervent prayer” stage when Kelly, my folks and my kids all converged in a visit to the new house.  We had begun praying in earnest the Saturday before Kelly’s arrival about a teaching job.  “God, Kelly needs a job…like…now!  Where are You in this?”

Kelly arrived in town on Sunday.  On Monday she received a phone call on her cell phone from the Burleson ISD.  The Human Resources representative said “We received your application and would like to set up a phone interview.”  Kelly eagerly replied, “How about I come down to Burleson since I arrived in Fort Worth yesterday?”

Where was God?  Right there and in charge.  He had Kelly’s job set up.  He had the interview set up.  He had her flight to Fort Worth set up.   Even though we felt as though the situation was dire and borderline desperate, God showed up and showed His majesty and power.

Maybe you have faced the desperate moments of life.  You feel all alone.  In those quiet moments of desperation I have breathed a silent prayer under my breath that mirrors the plea of a father seeking help from Jesus: “I believe; help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24)   The Master, full of compassion and mercy, gives freely from the abundance He alone supplies: Grace; abundant and free.  He knows.  The Savior understands and loves you beyond your wildest imagination.

My personal experiences and tips:

There is no right or wrong way to pray to God.  Make it a conversation.  Even through tears and sobbing He understands.  Though standing or sitting, walking or driving, in the morning or late at night God hears and, yes, answers prayer.   If you feel the need to pray for someone or something and cannot stop right then to pray, make a note to yourself so that when you can actually stop to pray you will not forget what it was you wanted to pray about.  Many smart phones have a great feature for making notes, and some will even e-mail you the note you created.  It’s a great way to start a prayer list.

copyright David E. Shelton 2011

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So You are a Believer…Who has been through Divorce…

What does Jesus look like going through a divorce?

This is the question I was faced with, in the summer of 2001, as a marriage to which I had devoted much effort and many prayers finally drew to an end.

As a Christian, I have set a life goal of learning to be conformed to the image of Christ, of trying to remember to face each life circumstance as Jesus would face it. Although I frequently fall short of the goal, my constant prayer is for God to change my heart, helping me to see each situation through His eyes, and to act accordingly.

As a father, I want to be the sort of father to my children that God is to us. As a husband, I want to love my wife as Christ loves the church. As an employee I want to serve my employer as Christ has served us. As a friend, I want to be the sort of friend that Jesus is to me.

Do I fall short of the goal? Of course I do! But, I come a lot closer than if I didn’t set the goal and prayerfully pursue it. Our Heavenly Father seems to derive great joy in giving His children a new perspective, and is quick to respond to sincere prayers asking for a godly view of a given situation.

So, in finding myself facing divorce, I went before the Father, in earnest prayer. “Lord,” I prayed, “show me what Jesus looks like going through a divorce. Please, help me to live my life, through this divorce, as You would.”

No sooner were the words out of my mouth, than a rebuke sprang to mind, “Jesus would not be in a divorce!”

Oh, I cannot express how much that self-rebuke stung, or how disoriented it left me feeling! I had made it my life goal to try, in all circumstances, to learn to be like Christ. Now, I found myself in a life circumstance which I had never expected to be in, a circumstance in which I simply could not (at that time) picture Jesus ever being. How could I gain a godly perspective to act as Jesus would, if I was in a situation which Jesus would never be in? How could I invite God into a situation that I saw as ungodly?

Not knowing what else to do, I simply continued to pray, “God, please show me the way! Please help me to live my life the way You would want me to live it. Please, God, somehow, in the midst of this darkness, shine the light of Your glory, through my life.”

The above text is an excerpt from my book, So You are a Believer…Who has been through Divorce… in which I discuss God’s heart toward His children who have experienced divorce. 

Regardless of how each of us may feel about divorce, or how we may interpret scripture regarding marriage and divorce, divorce is a reality that affects the lives of many devoted Christians. 

How is a Christian to face divorce?  How are we to reflect God’s glory as we traverse the path through divorce and beyond?

A chance for you to win a free e-book!

I would like to invite each of you to leave a comment with your response to the opening question, “What does Jesus look like going through a divorce?”  From the people who leave a comment to this post, and are also subscribed to this blog, I will select three to receive a free e-book version of So You are a Believer…Who has been through Divorce…

For all of you who have been reading Redeemed! but not leaving comments, consider this a personal invitation to participate in the discussion.  For those of you who occasionally read posts on this blog, but have never subscribed to Redeemed! consider this a personal invitation to subscribe.  And you get a chance to win a free e-book!

So, here are the rules:

  1. You must be subscribed to the blog.  If you’re not already subscribed, you can do this by selecting the “notify me of new posts by e-mail” option as you leave a comment.
  2. You must leave a comment on this post.  The comment does not have to be particularly inspirational or intellectual.  Preferably, the comment should be your response or reaction to the question, “What does Jesus look like going through a divorce?”  However, if that question does not inspire a response for you, then just leave a comment stating why you would like a copy of my book.  To leave a comment, just scroll to the bottom of the post and use the “Leave a Reply” text box.  If you are on the website Main Page, you must first click on the comment balloon to the right of the post title.
  3. If you would also like my FaceBook page, that would be greatly appreciated, but is not a requirement.
  4. The chance to win closes at 11:59 p.m., on Tuesday, March 13, 2012.  On Wednesday, I will choose three winners, who will each receive a free e-book copy of So You are a Believer…Who has been through Divorce… delivered to the e-mail address associated with their subscription to this blog .

So, please share with us, from your perspective, what does Jesus look like going through a divorce?

 

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This post assumes the divorce is desired because sin is leading the person away from marriage. I recognize that is not always the case.

What do you do when you hear that someone wants to leave or has chosen to leave their marriage? It’s easy to worry about them. But that worry can steal our joy and our peace. It can even lead to gossip and slander.

We need a plan to prevent our minds from racing down that unproductive trail and adding to the problem. We need to know what God can do and invite Him to do it. Praying His Word reminds us of His power and promises. It also insures that we are asking according to His will and He promises He will answer those prayers! I love a guarantee.

prayer for going through divorce

Here are 25 One-Sentence prayers you and I can pray for the person who wants to walk away from their marriage. (updated from 12 to 25 prayers May 1, 2017) Let’s pray these in the name of Jesus, who has insured the spiritual blessings our friends need.

1. God, grant ______________ a Damascus Road like experience that will transform _______ focus to You and Your will. (Acts 9:1-19)

2. God, I invite You to help ______________ fear You and hold Your Word in high esteem so that _______ will be satisfied in life and this marriage. (Proverbs 19:23)

3. God, please impart Your wisdom into _________’s mind so that_______ heart is pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. (James 3:17)

4. God, please pour out Your spirit on ______________ giving _______ dreams and visions that will lead ________ to fulfill the vows _______ made to to You and ______________. (Acts 2:17)

5. God if ______________’s lack of love for ______________ means that_______ does not know You, I invite You to make Yourself known to _______. (1 John 4:8)

6. God please remind ______________ that true love is patient, kind, rejoices in truth, and endures all things with hope. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

7. God, I invite Your steadfast love and righteousness into ______________’s heart trusting that faithfulness and peace will follow. (Psalm 85:10)

8. God, please guide ______________ to aim for restoration with ______________ and to a life of peace and harmony together. (2 Corinthians 13:11)

9. God, please grant ______________ a fresh dose of true humility so _______ can think with sober judgment and act on the faith You freely give. (Romans 12:3)

10. God, please help ______________ see Your path for _______ life and marriage and desire it above everything else. (Psalm 16:11)

11. God ______________ needs Your help to be humble enough to pray and seek Your face and turn from _______ wicked ways. (2 Chronicles 7:14)

12. God, please restore to ______________ the joy of Your salvation and help _______ to be willing to obey You. (Psalm 51:12)

13. God, I ask You to help __________  renounce every prideful thought in order to gain the wisdom ____ needs to honor ____ marriage vows. (Proverbs 11:2)

14. God, please help ________ turn from believing ______ is right in ____ own eyes so ___ can receive true wisdom.  (Proverbs 12:15)

15. God, let Your light shine on ________’s heart and cleanse ____ from sin so ____ can live in fellowship with ____ spouse.  (1 John 1:7)

16. God, please help ________ see that ___ fears about this marriage are not from You. (2 Timothy 1:7)

17. God, I ask You to help _________ pour out all ___ fears and anxious thoughts about this marriage to You. (1 Peter 5:7)

18. God, in Your mercy grant __________ the wisdom and desire to put on love which can bind this marriage together in perfect harmony. (Colossians 3:14)

19. God, please help _________  understand that Your good plan to prosper ___  is possible in this marriage. (Jeremiah 29:11)

20. God, I ask that You strengthen and encourage _________ to wait on You for answers, hope, and restoration of this marriage. (Psalm 27:14)

21. God, I believe Your angels can open the prison doors holding _________ captive to the idea of divorce. (Acts 5:19)

22. God, please help _________ see that the present sufferings in this marriage are not worth comparing with the glorious future You have in store. (Romans 8:18)

23. God, have mercy on ________ and help ____ to seek Your kingdom and righteousness so that all Your blessings will follow  to ____. (Matthew 6:33)

24. God, I ask You to help ____ become slow to anger so ___ can have great understanding that leads to reconciliation. (Proverbs 14:29)

25. God, grant ___ the ability to hear Your voice and follow Your leadership in every aspect of ___ life especially marriage. (John 10:27)

Bonus:

In this video, Penny Cook shares how God moved in her life to restore her marriage even after many years of separation. I pray that God will use her testimony to fortify your faith in our God who is the source of unity and restoration.

www.jenniferowhite.com

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