Note from the Editor: Because of his profession in the public eye, my good friend has chosen to write this anonymously. However, the insight in this article is incredible, and something all men can learn from. Enjoy.
There are so many blogs and articles out there geared toward girls and women on praying for their future spouses, but almost none geared specifically toward men… so we thought we’d help fill that gap a bit and offer a little advice for single guys on how to pray for your future wife as you navigate the single life.
Being a single guy in Los Angeles, I’ve had my fair share of relationship highs and lows over the years. Beautiful women are abundant in this place, probably more so than any other city in the world. They’re at every street corner, every coffee shop, every bar, and of course… in every casting office. Makes me think of a famous line written by the 18th century English poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge, which says: “Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink.”
This city has an overabundance of beautiful women, but that doesn’t mean that most of them are suitable for you to bring home and introduce to your Mama. In LA, and in many other places, it can seem to be a daunting task to not only find a great gal, but one who also happens to be a great fit for you as well. So… how do we solve this dilemma? How do we find the right woman for us?
Table of contents
God Can Help You Find Your Future Wife
Through my dating and relationship experiences, I’ve realized one thing: I’m never going to find the right woman for me if I take on this seemingly monumental task on my own. After my last relationship ended, leaving my mind and heart wounded, I realized I needed to change my entire approach. Sure, I’ve prayed many times for my future wife over the years, even prayed for attributes that I hoped she would have, what she might be like, etc etc… but as I’ve been growing deeper into my faith this year especially, I realized that my approach to these prayers needed a shift.
Shifting Your Prayer Focus
In the book of Genesis, God tells us “It is not good for man to be alone.” Proverbs also tells us “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” But more importantly, Matthew 6:33 tells us to “Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Admittedly, this last verse is the one that I had not been focusing on so much these past few years. Like many of us single men, I’ve been focusing on seeking after what I thought my heart wanted and burned a lot of energy by looking all over the place to try and find the right woman for me. I think like many of us, I haven’t fully trusted God or His timing. I’ve tried to rush Him along. I’ve tried to help him out along the way, and I haven’t always made Him the focus of where I chose to seek.
Praying For The Desires Of Your Heart
Psalm 37:4 says “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
We can rest in knowing that He put those desires for a wife on our hearts, so this is indeed something good that He wants for us. The root of the word “desire” actually means “of the Father”, which tells us the root of our healthy desires come from our Heavenly Father. God knows what I need, and what you need; better than we even know for ourselves. We should have peace in knowing that whatever great plan we think we have cooked up for our lives, God has something (and someone) even better for us if we just trust in Him and seek Him first.
Seeking God First
As you begin to pray for your future wife, choose to commit your life to seeking God first, and you will start to feel the pressure and the burden of looking for the right girl lift off your shoulders. He will bring His perfect desire to pass in your life. As long as your eyes are on Him first, He won’t steer you in the wrong direction. The more you focus on Him, the more obvious His will for you and your future wife will become. He’ll give you the discernment so that you’ll know it when you meet her. I’ve prayed and asked Him to take away the burden of trying to find the right girl on my own, and have asked Him to bring the right woman across my path in His timing. Since I’ve given that task back to Him, life has just felt a lot brighter, and quite frankly, it’s been a lot more fun too. I’ve also noticed that the more I seek Him and take delight in Him, I’ve begun to forget that I’m actually single. I used to think about my singleness and loneliness quite often (which is probably what sent me chasing after the wrong girls to begin with), but ever since I started genuinely focusing on seeking Him, I’ve found that I’m really enjoying this “bro time” with just God and I until He brings the right woman for me.
Pray For God’s Perfect Timing
As single men, we will one day be married and eventually have children to raise, which means that we will have lots of new responsibilities and our time will be focused heavily on our families. So while you have the time now, take advantage of this moment to get to know God more, and I imagine you will experience a new found happiness and peace just like I have been experiencing. So as you pray for your soon-to-be wife to come into your life, just pray for God’s perfect will and timing in this and I guarantee He won’t let you down. I’m believing in this for my own life, and I fully expect God to deliver on His promises for me, as He will for you.
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I woke up early this morning praying and decided to write a challenge for husbands to pray over their wives more intentionally this year. So here you go, men!
You’ll never love your wife more than when you pray for her. Humbling yourself before an all-powerful God and asking Him to do what only He can in her life – that’s a level of intimacy beyond anything the world has to offer. Praying for her makes you realize how much of a treasure she is, the woman God gave you. You’re pouring yourself into her complete physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
Here’s how you can pray: “Thank you, Father, for the gift of my wife. You are the giver of all good and perfect blessings, and I’m amazed how You show Your love through her. Please help me to cherish such an amazing gift. (James 1:17)
1. Increase Her Faith
Give her a rock-solid confidence that your incomparable power is always wielded for her absolute good in Christ. (Romans 8:28–30)
2. Increase Her Passion
Arouse in her a hunger and thirst for you Lord. Give her an appetite for the Word and a rekindling of her affections upon you. Give her a fresh and renewed desire to seek you and serve you with all that she is. (Matthew 5:6)
3. Empower Her With Boldness and Courage
Intensify her faith to step out of her comfort and into your supernatural working. Give her the tenacity to do what you are asking of her. Help her to fight against the devil, against terrors and troubles, temptations, attractions, darkness and false lights, against tears, depression, and above all fear. (2 Timothy 1:7)
4. Intensify Her Joy
May she know that the joy of the Lord is the source of her strength. Protect her from growing discouraged of doing what You’ve called her to do each day. (Nehemiah 8:10, Galatians 6:9)
5. Fill Her With Your Spirit
How thankful I am for the seal of the Holy Spirit on her life and Your deposit in her heart that testifies that she is truly yours. But today I come asking for more. Fill her afresh with the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. I ask that she would be lead by the Holy Spirit into deeper waters. Pour out your Holy Spirit on her with a fresh anointing to live-out her calling. Increase the fruit of your Spirit! (Ephesians 5:18)
6. Allow Her to Hear You More
Amplify your Word in her heart. Send her visions and dreams. Silence the overwhelming distractions and static of the world. Let the chaos be canceled by your still loving voice. Fill her mind with prophetic words for other and deeper insights into your Scriptures. (John 10:27, 28)
7. Bless Her Friendships
Surround her with friends who love you and will bear her burdens. Give her reason to feel refreshed by their encouragement. (Isaiah 40:31, Galatians 6:2, Philemon 1:7)
8. Soften Her Heart
Rescue her from cynicism and make her tender to your presence in the most complicated details of tasks and a multitude of other needs you’ve called her to meet. (Hebrews 1:3)
9. Give Her Wisdom
Help her see dimensions of reality that she would normally overlook. Grant her the ability to discern issues and decisions she faces. (James 1:5)
10. Sustain Her Health
You are the source of health and healing. Guard her from sickness and drive away from her all forms of pain and disease. Restore strength to her body and joy to her spirit, so that in her renewed health, she may bless and serve you. When she feels tired, Lord, renew her strength. (Isaiah 53:4-5)
11. Multiply Her influence
Encourage and deepen the impact she has on our friends, community, church and children. Give her sweet glimpses of it. Pour her out in love for others and spark creative ways to engage them for Jesus’s sake. (John 12:24)
12. Overcome Her With Jesus
That she is united to him, that she is a new creature in him, that she is your daughter in him — no longer in Adam and dead in sin; now in Christ and alive to you, forever. (Romans 6:11)
13. Affirm Her Beauty
Give her the eyes to see herself the way you see her. As a father looks at his precious daughter and delights in all that she is. (Psalm 139:14)
14. Guard Her Identity
Holy Spirit, make known to her the reality of who her Father is, and who she is in Him. Lord, thank you that she is precious, pursued, honored, dearly loved, wanted and cherished by you. I declare that she is a child of the light. Remind her that she is your daughter and she is of royalty and nothing and no one can prove differently. (Galatians 4:4-7)
15. Protect Her from Comparison
Protect her from coveting possessions or people, talent or influence, relationships or prestige. Keep her heart from being anxious for what she doesn’t have and make her thankful for the numerous gifts that you have already given. Fill her with the joy and satisfaction of contentment in Christ. Help her to be content in any situation and to quickly reject the idolatry that dwells beneath the surface of her coveting. (Philippians 4:12)
16. Shower Her with Peace and Hope
You are the source of calm and the central peace of this universe, grant to her such a consciousness of your indwelling and surrounding presence that she may rest in your sanctuary. Increase her optimism that nothing is impossible with you. (Philippians 4:7)
17. Renew Her Mind
Please send forth your Holy Spirit to renew her mind and cleanse her thoughts. Let your Word saturate her thinking and transform the way she perceives life. (Romans 12:2)
Wives, click here for 17 ways to pray for your husband!
Prayer is an essential part of the believer’s life, Or at least it should be and for the Christian husband prayer is essential for a vibrant and thriving marriage. As the old 1990’s adage goes,
What Would Jesus Do? Well, Jesus prayed all the time and would often wake up early in the morning to go off and pray by himself (See Luke 5:16). If Jesus, who is perfect, coveted his prayer time with his father in heaven then we, as men who are to be following His example, should desire it all the more. Jesus also prayed for us, His bride, teaching us as husbands one of the ways we are also to love our wives, through prayer.
Every Christian husband should have prayer as a first resort in any and all situations with their wife. We should be the first to suggest prayer and to lead her in prayer. I admit this is a difficult thing to do, especially when you are in the heat of an argument. The last thing you want to do is stop and try and be spiritual, but it is the very thing that needs to happen. I’ve heard many Christian husbands voice their struggle with praying with and for their wives. This is a major tragedy in the Church that the men do not know how to pray.
Let’s change that!
As Paul would write, “I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands…” – 1 Timothy 2:8
One simple and powerful way to begin to pray for your wife is to pray Scripture over her. When we don’t have the words, let’s go to the Word.
So, Here are 17 verses to pray over your wife.
- Pray For Her Strength
“The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.” – Psalm 28:7
- Pray For Increased Faith
“And Jesus answered them, “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen.” – Matthew 21:21
- Pray For Peace
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:7
- Pray For Her Work
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men…” Colossians 3:23-24
- Pray For Encouragement
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” – Romans 15:13
- Pray For Freedom From Fear
“fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10
- Pray For Her Health
“Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.” – 3 John 1:2
- Pray For Self-Control
“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls” – Proverbs 25:28
- Pray For Grace
“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;” – Hebrews 12:15
- Pray For Confidence
“Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.” – Hebrews 10:35-36
- Pray For Her To Recognize Her Purpose
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28
- Pray For Her Needs
“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:19
- Pray For Her Influence
“for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light” – Ephesians 5:8
- Pray For Transformation
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” – Romans 12:2
- Pray For Sexual Intimacy
“Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” – 1 Corinthians 7:5
- Pray For Rejuvenation
“but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” – Isaiah 40:31
- Pray For A Humble Spirit
“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom” – Proverbs 11:2
PRAY FOR HER!
Many of these verses and prayer suggestions came from a new book called “Thirty-One Prayers For My Wife.” You can get it today!
Your wife is a gift. She blesses you with love, companionship, help, and plenty of fun. As the spiritual leader of your family, you are responsible for guiding her (and any children you may have) in God’s path. Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.”
A major part of your role as husband and spiritual leader is covering your wife in prayer. Through prayer, you have an avenue directly to God; you can approach Him at any time on her behalf. Here are 10 ways you can pray for your wife, starting today.
- Pray for her self-care.
One of the most difficult things for a woman to do is to take time to care for herself, but her well-being is essential to your marriage and family. Take an active role in helping your wife create time to nurture herself, but also pray that she will be able to accept your gift of time, without anxiety or guilt. She’ll have an opportunity to grow into the best version of herself, and you’ll all be better for it.
The Bible instructs husbands to “love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:28 ESV). Do you value your time to yourself–to exercise, to unwind, or to do things you enjoy? Help your wife to create the same time for herself, and watch her blossom.
- Pray for balance in her life and work.
Wives–and mothers, particularly–find it difficult to compartmentalize areas of their lives, thus becoming very vulnerable to a lack of balance that will be disruptive to your relationship if it isn’t addressed. Pray that she will be able to prioritize her responsibilities in the best possible way, and that she will be able to clearly discern which tasks and activities are keeping her off balance. She might need a little encouragement to say “no” to the things that throw her off track, so pray that God will help her to be able to confidently turn down those offers.
- Pray for her relationship with God.
Your wife’s strong relationship with God will keep her centered and will benefit both of you (plus your children, if you have them). At every opportunity, combine your prayers with action and help make a way for your wife to spend time with God every day. She has many responsibilities to fulfill, and this quiet prayer time will help to alleviate her overwhelm.
- Pray over your sexual relationship.
Ask God to bless this intimate and private part of your life together. Your oneness as husband and wife is a sacred place to slow down and savor one another, drawing closer to God in the process. He has given you to one another and created the gift of sex just for you, so if your sexual relationship isn’t where you want it to be, lift it up to Him. And if it’s already in an amazing place, pray for His further blessing.
- Pray for her ability to teach your children.
Your wife’s closeness with your children places her in the perfect position to teach them about Jesus and help them grow in God’s word. Like all responsibilities, this must be fulfilled intentionally, and the hectic nature of life can easily override her desire to focus on daily Bible study. Pray that she will find special ways to share the Word with your children on a daily basis, and pray also that your children will receive her blessing to them and grow in the Lord.
- Pray that she will not become overwhelmed.
It is incredibly easy for work, marriage, children, and the daily responsibilities that come with running a home to completely overwhelm your wife. When overwhelm occurs, it is immobilizing and can be devastating to relationships, health, and life in general if left unchecked. Pray that your wife will be able to take one moment at a time, one day at a time. Help in any way you can to shoulder some of her burden if she’s in over her head, and pray that God will provide both of you with the tools you need to live as stress-free as possible.
- Pray over her friendships.
Healthy relationships with kindred spirits like friends, church family, and close relatives add richness and joy to your wife’s life. Pray that she may form and maintain rich friendships that will benefit and enrich her. Support her desire to spend time with her friends, for there she has a chance to nurture herself and grow in spirit.
Pray also for her to be alert and discerning of the people she allows into your life. Ask God to help her to be a good judge of character as she meets new people, and also for her wisdom to let go of relationships that may have been harmful for her to maintain.
- Pray for her health and protection.
Your wife’s health and safety are precious, so guard them daily through prayer and vigilance. Pray that God will protect her and preserve her health, and ask that He will also work through you to watch out for her.
- Pray that she may be joyful.
Finding joy in life’s chaos can seem almost impossible, particularly in times of high stress. We can quickly become bogged down by negativity. It’s imperative that your wife (and you, too!) is able to face life with the joy that comes from Christ. Pray that she will be able to fully experience God’s joy on a daily basis, and work together with her to stay focused on life’s blessings and gifts.
- Pray that the desires of her heart will be fulfilled.
Your wife has dreams that she holds close to her heart, and God-given gifts that she longs to put to good use. Perhaps she has tucked them away for a season, or maybe she is living them now. Pray that God will help her to utilize her gifts, and that He will make a way for her dreams to be fulfilled.
A Final Thought
The Bible says, “usbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Take careful stock of your attitudes and actions as you focus more closely on praying for your wife; it’s up to each of you as individuals to live the best life possible in God’s path.