Lord help me to understand

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lord help me to understand

“We are human beings, Lord, and we do not know our own greatness. Lord, give us the humility to ask for what we need, because no desire is vain and no request is futile. Each of us knows how best to feed our own soul; give us the courage to see our desires as coming from the fount of Your eternal Wisdom. Only by accepting our desires can we begin to understand who we are. Amen.” “Lord, help me understand that all the good things in life that happen to me do so because I deserve them. Help me understand that what moves me to seek out Your truth is the same force the moved the saints, and the doubts I have are the same doubts that the saints had, and my frailties are the same frailties. Help me to be humble enough to accept that I am no different from other people. Amen.”
— Paulo Coelho —

“Those whose eyes twenty-five and more years before had seen “the glory of the coming of the Lord,” saw in every present hindrance or help a dark fatalism bound to bring all things right in His own good time. The mass of those to whom slavery was a dim recollection of childhood found the world a puzzling thing: it asked little of them, and they answered with little, and yet it ridiculed their offering. Such a paradox they could not understand, and therefore sank into listless indifference, or shiftlessness, or reckless bravado. There were, however, some-such as Josie, Jim, and Ben-to whom War, Hell, and Slavery were but childhood tales, whose young appetites had been whetted to an edge by school and story and half-awakened thought. Ill could they be content, born without and beyond the World. And their weak wings beat against their barriers,-barriers of caste, of youth, of life; at last, in dangerous moments, against everything that opposed even a whim.”

— W.E.B. Du Bois

“I warm up with my mom and make sure I understand what the songs are about and make sure I’m using the right technique. To be honest with you, I really don’t practice a lot … Usually, I say a prayer and ask the Lord to sing with me and help me and stand on the stage with me.”

— Jackie Evancho

“At times we are thrown suddenly into positions that seem too big for us and for which we have little preparation. The Lord stimulates our growth this way … The Lord blesses us far beyond our natural ability and experience. However, it has been my experience that he expects us to quickly exert ourselves and acquire the things we need. He gives us a little time to improve our management skills and detailed knowledge so that we don’t have to rely upon him for everything. We’ll always need inspiration in these areas we couldn’t possibly understand without his help.”

— Robert E. Wells

“God is giving a plan I think to me that is not really a plan. The problem is that I think the plan that the Lord would have us follow is hard for people to understand. Because of my track record with you who have been here for a long time. Because of my track record with you, I beg of you to help me get this message out, and I beg of you to pray for clarity on my part.”

— Glenn Beck

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lord help me to understand lord help me to understand lord help me to understand

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I’ve been praying for years to understand my wife better, in particular, why she doesn’t want sex as often as I do.  Being the higher drive spouse who thinks about sex almost constantly, it is sometimes mind-boggling to me why she doesn’t think about sex…well…ever, unless we’re having sex at that moment.  However, I do not think I’ve been praying with the right mindset/heart.  I was always praying more with the idea that if I understood her, I’d be able to change her.  Sort of a “know your enemy” idea, which, I admit, is a bad way to think about your spouses libido, as the enemy.  But recently that’s been changing.

In that few months, I’ve been praying the same prayer, but with a new intent: just to know my wife, so I can love her more (not physically, but emotionally).  Well, I’ve been told often during my life: “Be careful what you pray for, God might answer you.”  Well, He did.

My experience

I decided to do a water fast (ingest nothing but water), for health reasons.  Now, God designed out bodies to be extremely adaptable.  When you fast, several things happen:

  • You start converting fat into ketones, a sugar replacement to make your body work.
  • Your blood pressure drops, to slow down your body to turn less energy.
  • You get tired more, again to conserve energy.
  • And, here’s the kicker: You’re libido drops significantly.  I suspect this is twofold.  Sex takes energy and, why produce offspring if you can’t feed them?

So, for the first time, since I was 16 years old, I didn’t have a daily (or more) urge to have an orgasm.  Even when I was sick, my sex drive never really diminished before.  It was very … odd.  Now, my sex drive was still higher than my wife’s, but it did give me a closer understand of what she feels, or more precisely, doesn’t feel in regards to sex.

During the fast there were days when I would have chosen sleep over sex, days when I just wasn’t really in the mood, days when I wasn’t sure I’d have the energy for sex if I wanted it, and my will to initiate was severely diminished.

Now, these are things that over the years my wife has told me she feels often, but I had no way of comprehending what it was like.  It was too alien for me.  Usually, I’d choose sex over sleep 99 out of 100 times, unless I’ve been up for 36 hours straight, even then, I’d call it 50/50 if given the choice.  This has been a real eye-opener for me.

Sex is important, even if you don’t want it

So, I’m thankful for this opportunity, but, I have also become very aware, quickly, of the dangers of not enough sex in a marriage even if neither spouse is feeling deprived.  Because neither of us had a very high drive at the moment, we were having much less sex, but neither of us were feeling neglected because, well, we didn’t really want more sex.  However, the rest of our marriage has still suffered for it.  We were not as close, we argued more, we were snapping at each other more often, and, I think, we were both a little harder on our children.

Now, I’ve known sex is important to a marriage for a long time, but I always believed sex should happen as often as the higher drive spouse desires (best cases scenario, assuming the higher drive spouse is a considerate lover and not just meeting their own needs), but what if both spouses are low-drive?  How do you decide on frequency? What if what you want is less than what you need? Likewise, I believe the onus is on the higher-drive spouse to initiate sex (which doesn’t mean the lower-drive spouse can’t), but, again, what if there is no high drive spouse?  What if no-one wants to initiate?

I think, ultimately, it is the job of both spouses to constantly evaluate the intimacy of the marriage and gauge if more sex is needed.  Maybe the first to notice should be the one to one to initiate.  Granted, most of the time, this is still going to be the higher drive spouse, but not always.  I think this rule could fit for any aspect of marriage, if you’re noticing that you aren’t talking enough, suggest going for a walk together.  I think a lot of simple problems could be fixed just by the spouse noticing the issue speaking up and suggesting a change.  But often it’s human nature to be complacent and just sit and complain that you aren’t being fulfilled.

Your Turn

Have you had an experience that let you step in the shoes of your spouse?  What was it like?

37 Questions for spouses to ask each other about sex

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Dear Heavenly Father, today is another one of those days where I feel completely lost and things just don’t seem to make sense. Everything appears to be unfair or not going as planned.

Wrap Your tender arms around me in these confusing times, Lord. Help me to obtain understanding of what it is You have called me here to do.

Romans 5:1-2  Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

The Lord’s Plan for Me

Lord God Almighty, You know the plans You have for me. And these plans are greater than I can imagine because You have always made all things work together for my good.

Your ways are indeed higher than my ways. Your thoughts are so much greater than my thoughts. Grant me the patience to be still and know You are God, as I watch Your great plan for my life unfold in Your perfect timing.

Psalm 147:5 Great is our Lord, and mighty in power; His understanding is infinite.

Job 37:5 God thunders marvelously with His voice; He does great things which we cannot comprehend.

Transform my plans

For You are great and perform wonders. You alone are God, none can compare to You. You spoke the world into existence. You caused human life to emerge from dust and only You can create beauty from ashes.

Help me to appreciate the exquisite work of Your hands to transform my plans into the greatness You have in store for my life. In Jesus precious name, Amen!

Isaiah 40:28  Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable.

Worship Song: Bless the Lord.

10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord) – Lyric Video HD

lord help me to understand


by Marianna (Pennsylvania)

Lord, I prayed everyday on my way to work and on my way home. I prayed and I thanked you over and over again for the job you had given me.

Help me Lord to understand how my faith was so strong and one day my job was eliminated. You knew the day I was born this was going to happen and I did not know this until it occurred.

Lord I have faith in you that this door closed unexpected but when I do not expect it you will open another door for me to walk through. Lord thank you for being with me and my family during this time of trial, I know you will always be there to listen to me.

Return to 7 Daily Prayers to Get You Through The Week


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