If heart could only speak, I guess it will never be break
But since it only beats that dictates the mind what it means
Through the tongue that choose the right words to speak.
Anger in my heart that remain unspoken
Just like a balloon that waits the right time to explode
The heart that wants to shout to the world and
relieved from its pain
Just like a thorn that prick to fingers, and blood came
Anger in my heart that fears to come out by saying,
tends to let the tears falling
Wants to be violent and hold things to be thrown
but keep controlling
With the use of the hand to hurt but decides
to take a firm grip.
A heart that full of anger could make it burst
Just like a boiling soup that pours out
And like a kerosine that flows to the coal that
causes fire to burn. by Judith Kempis Other poems of KEMPIS (64)
m0.poemhunter.com
This is a biblically-based approach to solving a child’s behavior problems. The premise is that behavior issues are generally rooted in an anger problem. This book explains how to change your parenting style to prevent and cure your child’s anger problem. This usually involves dealing with your own anger problem. It’s written by a Christian counselor and instructor.
Some techniques and examples seem unrealistic (I can’t imagine them working for my child). The author mentions a few times that othe
This is a biblically-based approach to solving a child’s behavior problems. The premise is that behavior issues are generally rooted in an anger problem. This book explains how to change your parenting style to prevent and cure your child’s anger problem. This usually involves dealing with your own anger problem. It’s written by a Christian counselor and instructor.
Some techniques and examples seem unrealistic (I can’t imagine them working for my child). The author mentions a few times that others have said the same, but that it’s all possible if you do it correctly and consistently for long enough.
My wife recommended this to me after she read it. We’re struggling with our nearly-3 daughter who ignores and defies us. In reading this, I realized that I’m committing several of the behaviors that provoke children to anger. I’m starting to work on eliminating those to see how it improves my daughter’s behavior.
Provocative ParentsWays parents provoke children to anger• Modeling sinful anger. Child follows your example; don’t model anger.
• Habitually disciplining while angry. Child perceives discipline as personal, vindictive attack. Discipline based on child’s sin against God, not trouble they caused you.
• Scolding. Speak with self-control, with few words, calmly, gently.
• Inconsistent discipline. Both parents must use same standards and each parent must be consistent from one incident to the next.
• Having double standards. Live by the same standards you hold child to; don’t be hypocrite.
• Not admitting you’re wrong and not asking for forgiveness. When you offend your child, admit it to them and ask for forgiveness.
• Constantly finding fault. Praise with greater frequency than you reprove.
• Not praising or encouraging. Regularly praise, so child perceives correction as part of biblical love.
• Unrealistic expectations. Remember that children think and act as children.
Angry AttitudesParent and child must be biblical in all 3 aspects of communication: words, tone of voice, non-verbal communication.
Discipline: What It Really MeansGumnazo Principle: biblical discipline involves correcting wrong behavior by practicing right behavior, with right attitude, for right reason, until it becomes habitual. Think of a master teaching an apprentice through hands-on mentorship.
Anger Journal1. What happened to provoke me to anger?
2. What did I do/say when I became angry?
3. What does the Bible say about what I did/said?
4. What should I have done/said?
Heart Journal1. What happened to provoke me to anger?
2. What did I say to myself? What did I want?
3. What does the Bible say about what I said to myself? About what I wanted?
4. What should I have said to myself? What should I have wanted more than my selfish desire?
Getting Anger Problems Right“When children are taught before they are teenagers to desire the approval of God more than the approval of man, the problem of peer pressure can be eliminated.”
Disrespect and ManipulationRespond to disrespect and manipulation with 1) appeal to personal responsibility, and 2) appeal to God’s will.
Think RoomThink Room: place in home for child to study for 5-15 minutes how to respond to parents in biblical manner.
Sending child to Think RoomTell child:
1. Time (usually 5-15 minutes)
2. Purpose (e.g., “You’re being disrespectful. Figure out a more respectful way to respond”)
3. Assignment (e.g., “Be prepared to ask for my forgiveness and demonstrate at least 2 biblically better ways to respectfully make your point.”
Think Room can be used before chastisement (preventive) or after.
Appeal Process1. Child acknowledges your instruction
2. Child requests appeal
3. Child presents additional information for you to consider
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