Синодальный перевод. Глава озвучена по ролям студией «Свет на Востоке».
1. Псалом Давида, когда он был в пустыне Иудейской.
2. Боже! Ты Бог мой, Тебя от ранней зари ищу я; Тебя жаждет душа моя, по Тебе томится плоть моя в земле пустой, иссохшей и безводной,
3. чтобы видеть силу Твою и славу Твою, как я видел Тебя во святилище:
4. ибо милость Твоя лучше, нежели жизнь. Уста мои восхвалят Тебя.
5. Так благословлю Тебя в жизни моей; во имя Твое вознесу руки мои.
6. Как туком и елеем насыщается душа моя, и радостным гласом восхваляют Тебя уста мои,
7. когда я вспоминаю о Тебе на постели моей, размышляю о Тебе в ночные стражи,
8. ибо Ты помощь моя, и в тени крыл Твоих я возрадуюсь;
9. к Тебе прилепилась душа моя; десница Твоя поддерживает меня.
10. А те, которые ищут погибели душе моей, сойдут в преисподнюю земли;
11. сразят их силою меча; достанутся они в добычу лисицам.
12. Царь же возвеселится о Боге, восхвален будет всякий, клянущийся Им, ибо заградятся уста говорящих неправду.
I have been incredibly overwhelmed lately with just how selfish and depraved I am.
Depressing way to start a post, eh? But it’s true. And for the longest time I haven’t known what to do with that! To add to already being in a place of realizing how back and forth I am and how I look to God only when He fulfills me, and how I basically want God when He’s convenient, (deep breath) I decided it would be a good idea to read Revelation. Did I mention that I have been in a state of questioning God’s goodness as well? Needless to say, Revelation has not been the cheeriest of books.
However, this morning I got to a part that made me literally say out loud, “wow.”
12 A great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars;2 and she was with child; and she cried out, being in labor and in pain to give birth.
3 Then another sign appeared in heaven: and behold, a great red dragon having seven heads and ten horns, and on his heads were seven diadems. 4 And his tail swept away a third of the stars of heaven andthrew them to the earth. And the dragon stood before the woman who was about to give birth, so that when she gave birth he might devour her child.
5 And she gave birth to a son, a male child, who is to rule all the nations with a rod of iron; and her child was caught up to God and to His throne. 6 Then the woman fled into the wilderness where she had a place prepared by God, so that there she would be nourished for one thousand two hundred and sixty days.
7 And there was war in heaven, Michael and his angels waging war with the dragon. The dragon and his angels waged war, 8 and they were not strong enough, and there was no longer a place found for them in heaven. 9 And the great dragon was thrown down, the serpent of old who is called the devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. 10 Then I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying,
“Now the salvation, and the power, and the kingdom of our God and the authority of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren has been thrown down, he who accuses them before our God day and night.11 And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death. 12 For this reason, rejoice, O heavens and you who dwell in them. Woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has come down to you, having great wrath, knowing that he hasonly a short time.”
13 And when the dragon saw that he was thrown down to the earth, he persecuted the woman who gave birth to the male child. 14 But the two wings of the great eagle were given to the woman, so that she could flyinto the wilderness to her place, where she was nourished for a time and times and half a time, from the presence of the serpent. 15 And the serpent poured water like a river out of his mouth after the woman, so that he might cause her to be swept away with the flood.16 But the earth helped the woman, and the earth opened its mouth and drank up the river which the dragon poured out of his mouth.17 So the dragon was enraged with the woman, and went off to make war with the rest of her children, who keep the commandments of God and hold to the testimony of Jesus.
Wow – right?
So that left me just kind of in awe of God’s beauty, intensity, purpose, and power. But still, I felt my response was, I am so unworthy. And not like a healthy, humble sort of way, but like a “I am the scum of the earth and God must really hate putting up with me” sort of way.
I headed to our Sunday church gathering shortly after and just found myself in tears throughout the music portion (might have to do with PMS, but I guarantee not all of it!). Then the worship pastor talked for a few minutes about God’s love and how no matter where you are at He loves you and how THAT is truth. And that He longs for you to just call on him to “fill you up” with more of Himself – that that is His heart for us. More tears. Then the message could not have been more for me. How does God do that? Time and time again. Our teaching pastor spoke about seeking God out through His Word, through creation, and through the Holy Spirit, and doing it as a lifestyle. This is the very thing I have been desiring, but not doing, and furthermore beating myself up about. But it was as if the message was spoken in such a way that I felt the Father said, “Listen, I know you haven’t been doing this, and you’re beating yourself up about it, but I want you to know I don’t care about the past – you can’t change it now. Mostly, I want you to know it’s worth it, you won’t be disappointed, and I’m ready for you to come near to Me.”
How does he respond so graciously? How does He find the patience to show us? How does He love one like me?
I don’t understand, but I do stand amazed.
May I no longer yearn for heaven and abhor my flesh, throwing my hands up in defeat. But may I yearn for heaven, shake it with my prayers, and hasten it through my life. May I RESPOND not perfectly, but faithfully, and in love.
To God ALONE be the glory forever and ever (and ever and ever and ever), Amen.
For the director of music. For Jeduthun. A psalm of David.
1 Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him.2 Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
3 How long will you assault me?
Would all of you throw me down— this leaning wall, this tottering fence?4 Surely they intend to topple me from my lofty place; they take delight in lies.With their mouths they bless, but in their hearts they curse.
5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.7 My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.8 Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
9 Surely the lowborn are but a breath,
the highborn are but a lie.If weighed on a balance, they are nothing; together they are only a breath.10 Do not trust in extortion or put vain hope in stolen goods;though your riches increase, do not set your heart on them.
11 One thing God has spoken,
two things I have heard:“Power belongs to you, God,12 and with you, Lord, is unfailing love”;and, “You reward everyone according to what they have done.”