The effects of porn addiction in the Christian churches are staggering. Most Christians would rather hide their head in the sand than admit this is a problem let alone talk about it. Those who are not addicted to porn are not aware that this problem. Moreover this is not exclusive to just Christian men but Christian women also suffer from pornography addiction.
Why should you care if you’re not addicted to porn? Because you or your children may end up marrying someone who is. This is why you need to educate yourself about this.
What’s worse is that the people who are married to porn addicts usually end up blaming themselves. They have low self esteem, body image issues, they feel inadequate and have no self worth because they believe they should be able to free their spouse from the addiction and they can’t. It ruins marriages.
Here are some statistics on this problem
Christians, Pastors and Church Pornography Statistics
51% of pastors say cyber-porn is a possible temptation. 37% say it is a current struggle (Christianity Today, Leadership Survey, 12/2001).
50% of evangelical pastors admits viewing pornography last year.
Of those who had visited a porn site, 53% had visited such sites “a few times” in the past year, and 18% visit sexually explicit sites between a couple of times a month and more than once a week.
29% of born again adults in the U.S. feel it is morally acceptable to view movies with explicit sexual behavior (The Barna Group).
57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation (Christians and Sex Leadership Journal Survey, March 2005).
Roger Charman of Focus on the Family’s Pastoral Ministries reports that approximately 20 percent of the calls received on their Pastoral Care Line are for help with issues such as pornography and compulsive sexual behavior.
Statistics on Women with Pornography Addiction
28% those admitting to sexual addiction are women (internet-filter-review.com).
34% of female readers of Today’s Christian Woman’s online newsletter admitted to intentionally accessing Internet porn in a recent poll and 1 out of every 6 women, including Christians, struggles with an addiction to pornography (Today’s Christian Woman, Fall 2003).
47% percent of families said pornography is a problem in their home (Focus on the Family Poll, October 1, 2003).
So we see that this problem is pervasive in our churches. Now with the internet being such a large part of our lives, this makes it easily accessible on our desktop computers, smart phones or tablets. It is right at our fingertips!
How does the church stop the pornography addition??
The first step to being pornography free is admitting that you have a problem and you need to be delivered. Understand that you are battling a DEMON. Very few resources that you will read about pornography online will tell you that this is a demon.
If you are truly a born again Christian then you can’t be possessed by the demon but you can be oppressed. This means that the demon is in your environment and can influence your thinking by whispering in your ear and enticing you to continue with this behavior.
Remember that once you have received Jesus as your personal Savior you have been set from your past sins. You are a new creation and the old things have passed away and all things become new! (2 Corinthians 5:17) All of your sins are nailed to the cross and you now live a life of freedom from pornography.
You’re probably thinking that this is not true because why then are you or other Christians struggling with this. Well, once you clicked on that link to the website where you visit for porn, whether you did it intentionally or not, you then gave the enemy access to your soul. You gave him access to plant a seed there and keep you in bondage. You opened the door. The first time you clicked on that link, if you quickly clicked off the page you wouldn’t be where you are now. Because you stayed there and continued to look through all the pages and stare at the images you invited satan to enter in. A demon of seduction, pornography, incubus or succubus then attached itself to you. Now you have to take the appropriate steps to freeing yourself from the demon.
Here are some steps to break free from your addiction:
1. Fast. You must start fasting. Here is some information on prayer and fasting. This will give you the initial strength you need to do the other steps. (Mark 9:29) “This kind can come out by nothing but prayer and fasting.”
2. If you have magazines or photos BURN THEM! Videos DESTROY THEM! Don’t put them in the trash make sure they are destroyed so that others cannot find them.
3. Clean out your computer. Delete all files, empty the recycle bin. Cancel all memberships to websites.
4. Install a software on your computer which will block future possible encounters like covenanteyes.com
5. Get someone that you trust 100% to keep this confidential to keep you accountable. Or, get a Christian counselor and see them at least once per week. You need to be honest with someone about this.
6. All your friends on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram that have suggestive photos or are connected with those who have suggestive photos UNFRIEND THEM! Yes, this could be the slippery slope that satan uses to lead you back to the addiction. They won’t understand why you unfriended them but your freedom is more important than their offense at this point.
8. Pray, pray and pray some more.
9. Find a church in your area that has a deliverance ministry and ask them to break the demonic spirit from your life.
10. When you feel weak like you are about to fall into this again repent IMMEDIATELY and put on the Armor of God. This will protect you.
Pornography ruins families and results in many divorces. These demons enter in and convinces the person that this is who they are. It becomes a secret sin and they continue to perpetuate the behavior because they think no one will find out. Afterall, they are not hurting anyone right? These are the lies of the enemy and he can ruin lives when this kind of thinking is believed. Don’t own the behavior. Renounce it! Rebuke it! (1 Corinthians 6:17-19) Pornography is sinning against your own self and the Holy Spirit because we are His temple.
The truth is that a lot of virgins in our churches are addicted to porn. While they are not having sex (fornication) so that the sin is obvious, most of them have fallen into sin already by being addicted to porn. The only person that finds out about this later on is their spouse.
Most believe that once they get married this problem will go away. The truth is, it won’t! Deliverance from this demon needs to happen prior to marriage in order for it not to raise it’s ugly head during the marriage. Remember this is a demon, it will not leave just because you are married. It will entice you to continue the pornography when your husband’s or wife’s body does not look like what you have become addicted to on porn sites, when they refuse to have sex with you one night or not as often as you would like. This is why it won’t stop. Deliverance needs to happen BEFORE you get married.
Here is a prayer for porn addiction:
Father God, I come to you in the name of Jesus and I repent of this sin and I ask that the blood of Jesus would cleanse my mind and my heart from the images that have been imprinted there. I pray that you would renew my mind with images of you on the cross dying for my sins. Renew my mind with your Word according to Romans 12:1-2. Lead me to the scriptures that would continue my mind renewal process. Free me from this bondage Holy Spirit forgive me for grieving you. You’ve said that no temptation has laid hold of us that is not common to man and that you would not allow us to be tempted beyond a point where we cannot escape. I pray that you would show me the way out. Show me the traps and roads that the enemy uses that lead me to this temptation so that I may choose another way. Close those doors in the spiritual realm. Show me all the things, people & places that I need to cut off to continue in my freedom. I bind the hand of the enemy. I rebuke the demon of seduction, pornography, incubus, succubus and any other spirits that have attached themselves to me. Point me in the direction of the deliverance ministry where I can continue in freedom. Free me from the guilt and shame. Continually keep the helmet of salvation on my head to keep my mind free from evil, lustful thoughts. Bring to my mind all the things that I may have in my environment that would encourage these demons so that I can remove them. Lord, I accept that I am a new creation in Christ Jesus that old things have passed away and all things have been made new. Free me from a spirit of rejection and from pride. I am fearfully and wonderfully made and valuable beyond measure in your eyes. Lord, I accept that I have the mind of Christ and therefore my thoughts will be on the things that Christ would have me think on. God lead me to the right support group where I can have the accountability that you know I will need during this process. Holy Spirit guide my steps, guard my heart, make my will Your will and when I don’t know what else to pray please make intercession for me so that I will be free, in Jesus Name, Amen
Here are some other organizations that can help with those who are suffering with pornography addition:
Safe Families
XXXChurch
Porn Free
If you’ve been freed from pornography and can offer advice on this, please write them it the comments below.
Here are some Helplines and Hotlines for those addicted to porn and for the victims.
Porn Addiction Hotline (1-800-583-2964) This line is for the victims of pornography addition
Sex Addicts Anonymous Helpline: (1-800-477-8191)
Sexaholics Anonymous (1-866-424-8777)
Here are some scriptures for breakthrough and a prayer
Here is a prayer to cut soul ties
Here is a prayer for deliverance
www.missionariesofprayer.org
For a long time the words of Rich Mullins’ music have captivated me. You might remember him as the author of songs like “Awesome God,” and “Step by Step” (for those of you who were in the late-80s-early-90s Christian music scene). His lyrics have continued to grab at my heart even now, 14 years after his death.
During my senior year in college, Rich’s album A Liturgy, A Legacy, and a Ragamuffin Band was one of my favorites to listen to. It came along at a perfect time for me, a time when my faith seemed so weak and temptations seemed so strong. I had spent the year before submerging myself in countless hours of pornography. I had started losing hope in Christ’s ability to save me from the power porn had over me. That year, track 4, “Hold Me Jesus,” became my sincere prayer for porn addiction, asking him to pull me from the mess I was in.
It recently came to my attention that Rich Mullins actually wrote the song for this very purpose: he too was aching to be delivered from the temptations of pornography. Below is some concert footage of Rich playing this song in Lufkin, Texas, explaining the genesis of the song.
Table of contents
Don’t Do Life Alone
I really appreciate what Rich had to say about not doing life alone. Often our battles with temptation are worse than they should be because we’ve bought into a just-me-and-Jesus sort of spirituality. God does promise us freedom from the grip of sin, fresh power within our hearts changing our desires. But He promises these things to His body, the church, not just to his individual followers. We need one another.
We need responsive, gospel-driven accountability. As good accountability partners, we need to not only hear an account of our friends’ sins, but give an account of God’s grace—a grace that not only saves us from the guilt of sin, but also from the grip of sin. (Coming Clean: Overcoming Lust Through Biblical Accountability)
Lyrics to “Hold Me Jesus”
Well sometimes my life just don’t make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small
So hold me Jesus ’cause I’m shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won’t You be my Prince of Peace
And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It’s so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart
So hold me Jesus ’cause I’m shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won’t You be my Prince of Peace
Surrender don’t come natural to me
I’d rather fight You for something I don’t really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I’ve beat my head against so many walls
Now I’m falling down I’m falling on my knees
And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin
I’m singing hold me Jesus ’cause I’m shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won’t You be my Prince of Peace
You have been King of my glory
Won’t You be my Prince of Peace
www.covenanteyes.com
For some reason, this concept has been weighing heavily on my heart lately. I think, above all things, female porn addicts are misunderstood. For that matter, I think porn addicts are misunderstood, regardless of their gender. People are quick to label us as sick, twisted people- thank you, but we didn’t need your help.
If you have never been in this, you truly cannot begin to comprehend the despair, the frustration, the battle of wills that is fought day by day, and at times, moment by moment. I know I prayed this prayer and prayers like this so many times during my struggle. It’s not just about our actions; it is about our core understanding of God, His nature, and His love for us.
————
Dear God, I’m tired of trying. It’s not that I don’t want to be free. It’s not that I don’t understand what You’ve done. I get that; I got that, and I am so thankful for that. It’s my body, Lord. If I could rip it off and just be a walking heart, I would be OK, because my heart loves You. My heart wants to serve You. In the core of who I am, I want to be near You, but then I go and do this. Why do I do this? Why can’t I beat this?
Why aren’t You enough for me? Why can’t I convince myself to stop this? Every single time I do it, I feel so guilty, so dirty. I feel so worthless.
You have to be so disappointed in me. I know I’m disappointed in me. I don’t know what I’m missing. I’m reading the Bible and I’m trying to pray. I’m going to church but sometimes that just makes me feel like an even bigger hypocrite. Nobody there knows. What’s the point of going to church when I come home and do stuff like this? What’s the point of confessing and asking forgiveness when I know I’m just going to turn around and do it again?
Are you mad at me? I am sorry. I am sorry I keep screwing up. I am so mad at myself. No matter what I do, no matter what I try, I keep falling. You’re never going to be able to use me. I’m never going to be able to get married. I don’t know why I even hope; I don’t know why I even try.
I don’t know why I am even talking to You right now. I am tired. My heart is tired. My mind is tired. My spirit is parched, and I know You are the Living Water, but no matter how many times I tell myself that, I keep going back. There’s something wrong with me. I’m screwed up, sick and twisted. How could You possibly love me? I don’t even think You’re listening right now. I know I wouldn’t be listening to me.
I hate this and I’m trying not to hate You. You just feel so far away right now, and this is the time I need You most. I just don’t know how You could still love me. I don’t know anything right now. Help me… please. I don’t want to give up, but I know I am so close. Please don’t give up on me.
————
From a former addict to those still struggling– He will not give up on you. His love and mercy is never-ending. He has a work to complete in your life and He will be faithful to finish it. Believe that, and then stop trying to do that work for Him. Get out of the way, surrender, and let Him heal.
beggarsdaughter.com
Prayer for Those Struggling with Pornography by Scotty Smith
Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? . . . Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. Rom. 7:21–24, 8:1–2 Dear Lord Jesus, my heart is heavy this morning as I think about friends, and their spouses, living under the assault and in the enslaving grip of pornography. It’s a destructive storyline that seems to be growing with exponentially. I’m so thankful today (huge understatement) for the grace and truth of the gospel, as I pray about this issue and for vulnerable people just like me.
O Lord of resurrection and redemption, bring your mercy and might to bear in observable and hope-engendering fashion. Things impossible for us are more than possible for you. You have come to set captives free and to heal the brokenhearted. Pornography is creating an overabundance of both. Jesus, to friends somewhere in the pornography continuum of titillation to addiction, please reveal yourself in the deepest place of their hearts. Only your non-condemning love is sufficient for the guilt and shame that each of us must deal with in life—especially in the arena of our sexual brokenness. Through your welcoming heart for sinners, grant the gifts of honesty and transparency, godly sorrow and gospel hope. Where pornography has desensitized our friends, re-sensitize them so they can see and feel the horror of their entrapment and more so—much more so—the wonder of your deliverance. May the cry, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?” (Rom. 7:24), may that cry lead to an even greater cry, “Abba, Father!” And for friends married to someone in the talons of pornography, dear Jesus, theirs may be the greater pain and struggle. No one but you can help them with the anger, the disgust, the wound, the shame, and the mistrust that goes with this story. Help us walk with our friends who are right in the middle of this dark vortex. Show us how to validate their feelings without confirming hurt-driven conclusions. Bring patience and perspective, forbearance and faith. Only you can rebuild the trust. Only you, Jesus, can bring a willingness to hope again. Only you can heal the places in our hearts which have suffered the greatest violation and harm. Absolutely no one understands all this like you, Lord Jesus, and absolutely no one redeem these messes but you. And for those of us whose sins seem to be less “Technicolor” than those who struggle with pornography or sexual addiction, free us from arrogance and a critical spirit; free us to grieve just as deeply over our sins and to hope just as fully in the resources for us in gospel; free us to be merciful as our Father is merciful towards us. So very Amen we pray with hope, in your great and glorious name.
Scotty Smith
Founding Pastor Christ Community Church 801 Highgrove Circle Franklin, TN 37069
engagingtheshadowsofyouthministry.com
