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There’s a quote in Nicholas Sparks’ book ‘At First Sight’ that speaks volumes about love. “The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it…” Interesting, huh? The exact emotion that brings a smile to our face and warms our heart, can also be the very emotion that cuts us so deep that scars are left. Heartache is a feeling that everyone feels at some point in their life. Whether it’s a broken heart from a failed relationship between partners or an emotional rollercoaster that leaves two family members estranged, brokenness is experienced by everyone – sometimes more times than one.
What do you do when you’re left with a broken heart? How do you pick up the pieces that once fit together perfectly? The answer is prayer. Powerful prayers for healing a broken heart can truly be life changing – and ultimately the game changer to drive you into the direction towards a new chapter in life. In fact, those prayers can become the building blocks to the new foundation that you’re faced with rebuilding.
One of the most powerful prayers for healing a broken heart comes from Psalms 147:3. The words brokenhearted are within the text and it reinforces the power the Lord has. The scripture is short, sweet, and to the point.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Every day, the Lord hears our cries and prayers. From time to time, we may feel unheard or wonder if he is active in our day-to-day. The truth is he will never give us more than we can handle; moreover, he knows that plan of action and will guide us down the roads that our life is destined to travel. Psalms 147:3 reminds Christians that the Lord does hear your cries for help and he will heal the wounds that you are suffering from. As you deal with your broken heart, try to look at the bigger picture and come away from the situation with lessons learned and newfound wisdom. Not only will you be stronger because of the trials and tribulations, but one day you’ll look back on this experience and discover profound hope.
Revelation 21:4 is another beautiful reminder of how powerful prayers for healing a broken heart are effective. When you’re crying, you may think that you’re alone – but, you’re not! The Lord never leaves your side. Even though you can’t see his physical shape, it’s important to know that he is always by your side. This reminder is stated again and again throughout scripture.
“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
While you’re in the moment of mourning, whether it’s a failed relationship or the loss of a loved one, it’s important to remember that the pain will eventually pass. The good, the bad, and the indifferent always passes and brings forth new experiences that help cultivate who we are meant to be. Don’t allow your broken heart to darken your presence. Despite how difficult it may seem, try to walk forward, and take each day one step at a time. With that said, healing takes time – and that’s important to remember.
When you talk to the Lord, try reciting this powerful prayer for a broken heart:
“Heavenly Father, there is a pain implanted in my heart that doesn’t seem to go away. It has crushed me, it aches, I can no longer bear it. This pain of the past consumes my thoughts daily. It hurts so much, Father, these tears that fall long to see joy once again. Give me peace in my heart, please, I’m crying out to you: hear my prayer.”
Not only does this prayer exude esteemed honesty, but it allows you to be vulnerable to the Lord. You’re in pain and that’s understandably normal and expected. Ask for peace and the desire to experience joy again. The Lord understands your struggle and wants to heal your broken heart. Be patient and give him the opportunity to help you. Be mindful of the time it takes to actually heal a broken heart and remember it is not an overnight fix. Your heart didn’t become full and content in a day; therefore, it will not heal over the course of a day either. Use this experience to cultivate your present and future relationships. Try to discover ways you can better yourself from this experience and what lessons can be learned – everything happens for a defined reason.
Before we part ways friend, I want to leave you with one last powerful prayer for healing a broken heart. It’s one that is centered on the theme of Psalm 46: 1-2 which says, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the sea.” This prayer demonstrates your trust in the Lord and recognizes the power Jesus Christ has.
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Oct 15 2013
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Madison’s balloon escaped from her tiny hands and floated gracefully up to the sky. “My balloon!” she cried stretching out her arms as far as she could reach. I tried to calm her down but she wanted her balloon. I told her that we could get her another but tears sprang from her eyes as she continued to reach for her lost balloon. I turned her face towards me and said, “Let’s let that balloon go to heaven. That way our babies will have a balloon too.” She stopped crying and looked at me. She gave a crooked smile and said, “William and all our babies can have a balloon too.” I took her by the hand and we asked the man handing out the balloons for another. She smiled happily as I tied it to her arm for safe-keeping.
Shortly afterward we began our walk. We were participating in the Archdiocese of Atlanta’s embrace ministry’s Remembrance Walk. Slowly our family meandered our way surrounded by others who had also suffered through a miscarriage, still birth or the death of an infant. They were like us… missing their babies and doing what they could to make sure their little ones knew they were loved and missed. As we walked Madison looked up at me, her blue eyes searching my own and asked, “Mama, why did William have to die?” My breath caught in my throat. I worried about others overhearing her question. Would it bring up too much pain for them? Would my answer to her bring them comfort as well? I looked down at Madison and replied with a sad smile, “I’m not sure Sweetie. Sometimes babies just aren’t meant to stay with us. They are called back to heaven to be with God.” Madison smiled at me. That seemed like a good enough answer for the moment.
As we walked I contemplated all that we have been through. I thought about the pain, the suffering, the loneliness, the darkness, the healing, and the light. If someone had told me almost three years ago that I would be happy now I wouldn’t have believe them. How could we go through hell and still be ok? When I was there, in the deepest, darkest parts of suffering, the light seemed so far away. The pain ripped at my heart every second of every day. It felt like it would never end. In a way I didn’t want it to end. I felt it was all I had left to tie me to my precious babies. I was wrong. I had something so much more to remind me of the little ones I only held for such a short time. I had hope… the hope that one day I will hold them in Heaven once again.
I often wonder how people without faith are able to get through these kinds of “injustices” that life seems to hand out. I think I would have been shattered forever if I had no hope of ever seeing my babies again. However, I know that my babies wait for me in heaven and the very thought is what helped me many days when it seemed like all could be lost. That hope was light in the darkness and I tried my hardest to focus on that glimmer that shone constant.
Looking back I can clearly see the path that my healing took. It wasn’t a straight path but one that twist and turned and sometimes took me right back to the beginning. It was a long path, one I am still on and probably always will be for the rest of my life, but one that has brought me to this place in my life now. The place I am now is one of acceptance and peace. It still has many moments of sadness and a few of despair, but most days I can see and understand… this is something I never thought I would be able to do.
In the beginning it was hard to pray. I was sad, angry, hurt, and felt alone. I didn’t want to pray to a God that took my babies! Still, I knew that it was important to continue to pray. I also knew in my heart that God didn’t take them as a punishment but it was easier to think of Him as the bad guy when I just didn’t know what to think or believe. Thank goodness our Father is so understanding and loving… He took my accusations and shouldered them. He accepted my pain as His and held me even closer to Him. I began to pray the prayers I had memorized as a child. Thank goodness for those prayers as it was hard for me to pray in my own words at that time.
God knew my pain; He had lost His own Son too. He knew what I would need to heal. He sent me friends who had suffered as I had. My beautiful friend Ann would become a confidant and source of great comfort to me. She had lost her own son and knew just what I was going through. She sent me the book “Tear Soup”. I read it and cried. It gave me permission to grieve as long as I needed to grieve and in the way that I needed to grieve. While I shouldn’t have to have permission to grieve many times others make us feel like we are grieving too long or not in the right way. But who is to say what your grief should look like? Ann reassured me that I could cry as long as I need. She told me that some days would be harder than others and that one day I would not cry. I didn’t believe her then but I know now she was right.
God also helped me heal by sending me friends who had no idea what I was going through and yet loved me so much they wanted to be there for me. My wonderful friend Jeannie would be one that I have no doubt God hand-picked just for me. Always encouraging me and my big family she would also be one of my friends who would see me through the darkest times. She called and checked on me, she asked if I was ok, she prayed for us, and then she did something that meant more to me than she could ever know… she asked me for all of my babies’ names. Only one other person had ever asked me what all my babies’ names were. She told me that she wanted to make me something to remember them by. I listed off their names, my heart breaking while writing them down. She would go on to make me a necklace with all their names included in it. It was the most beautiful act of love anyone has ever done for me, for my babies. Knowing that someone else loved them too made my heart ache and fill with joy at the same time. How could she love them when she had never seen their hearts beating as I had; had never felt them move; had never held them after they were born? She loved them because she loved me. God knew I needed our children acknowledged in this way. Just asking what their names were gave validity that there were here, that they lived, and that they were loved. Wearing that necklace my heart could feel a little bit more whole again. Knowing that Jeannie still continues to pray for my children by name makes me feel like we are not the only ones who understand just how precious they are and just how much we love and miss them.
Healing comes slowly. When you lose a child you lose a part of yourself. It takes time to recover. For me there are many things that have helped me through the dark times. The first and foremost aspect to healing for me was to understand that all the feelings I have felt and will feel are legitimate. They are my feelings. No one can tell me what is right or wrong to feel. I have lost something so very special that it will have an effect on my entire life. When I embrace those feelings I can work through them easier.
Healing came through knowing that there are others who have gone through what I am going through. No one has gone through exactly what I have but they know the pain of losing a child, or in my case, losing many children, especially back to back. It’s important not to block out those who understand that pain. They can help you through. They know how very dark it gets but they have also seen the beautiful light that waits for you. They can offer advice to help you ride out those waves of despair and help you through what seems impossible to navigate.
Prayer is a powerful healing tool. Go to God. He knows your suffering well. He can comfort you like no other. His love is unending and all-encompassing. Go to Mary. She lost her child too. She knows your pain. Let her wrap you in the mantle of her love.
Acknowledge your child. Name him or her. Talk about him. Celebrate his life. If you have other children let them talk about their sibling. Hearing my children often talk about one of their lost siblings makes my heart so happy. They know and understand that just because we are separated doesn’t mean they aren’t a part of our family and loved so dearly.
Journal, seek counseling, become involved in activities that help others through loss, share your knowledge, comfort others, cry when you need to, feel happy and joyful when you can, love with all your heart and soul, pray, pray, and pray some more. Your heart will heal if you allow it. Don’t be afraid to heal.
My heart has holes in it that I can never fill. Those pieces will forever be gone. To be honest I don’t want them back. My children, those who didn’t get to stay for long, hold those pieces. It is one of the only gifts I can give them… a piece of my heart to hold forever. It makes me happy to think that they can feel the love I have for them in the beating of my heart that they hold in their hands.
This journey has been long and hard. I know it is not over. There will days I will cry and days I will smile. There will be days when I question God “Why me?” and other days that I thank God for the brief time I had with my babies. But, I will continue to heal and hold fast to the knowledge that in my suffering Christ is always there beside me.
“The Lord is near the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
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About Michelle Fritz
Michelle Fritz is a daughter of God, a cradle Catholic, a devoted wife of 26+ years to amazing husband Mike, and an eclectic homeschooling mother to eleven living children. She has experienced the loss of 16 babies in her call to be open to life, but knows that God is always loving and always gracious. She and her husband know that they have an army of Saints already in heaven! They try to show their faith in everything they do and hope that all who come to know their family, also come to know the Lord.
www.catholicsistas.com
Lord Jesus,
I come before you and acknowledge that I do not know everyone who will read this, nor do I know what they are going through. But I know that you know each and every one of them. You have loved them since before time. As you knit them together in their mother’s womb, you loved them. As you hung on that cross, shedding your atoning blood for them, you were still loving them. And yet, Father, today one of your children is hurting.
I ask that you would wrap your arms around your child. Lord, that in the midst of this pain, the sweetness of your presence would be even greater. Would you remember the promises you have made? “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34).” “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147).” Would you be close to the brokenhearted, to save those who are crushed in spirit and bind up their wounds. And perhaps, Father, would you provide them rest from this pain.
However, in the middle of this heartache and this brokenness, would you be ever near. Lord, I ask that during this storm or season that you would draw your child closer to you than they have ever been before. Would you open their eyes that they may see an invisible God. Would your presence be felt and would it be sweet. Although the pain is real and hard, would your spirit be enough. Would sew back together the gashes, apply balm on the wounds, and fill up all the holes with yourself. Father, please just be enough for them.
I also would ask that in the midst of your child’s pain, in all of our pain, would you forgive us for crying out in anger. When our hearts are breaking, and we raise our fists to heaven demanding to know where you are and why these circumstances are happening, would you forgive our doubt rooted in pain. Give us strength and desire to seek your will and carry it out. Even when the words are so hard to speak, would we ever pray, “Thy will be done.” Teach us to stop pursuing our own agendas and to simply rest in your arms.
Father would you direct your love by day, and at night would you sing your song over your children, a prayer to the God of their life (Psalm 42). O Lord, I ask that you would not let them go. Hold them fast in your hands. Open their eyes to the truths and realities of you.
Your children are hurting today; Father, would you hold them.
Amen.
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