I remember the weeks and months surrounding Valentine’s Day – particularly during my time as a single woman. Walking through the stores, you notice that the string of lights and row of trees have been replaced by red hearts, chocolates and flowers. Couples seem to be everywhere – holding hands, sharing flirtatious glances, and sneaking in passionate kisses. The sting of being alone can seem even harder to handle when everywhere you look love is in the air – except the air you’re breathing.
I remember praying a lot when I was single. At least I called it prayer. But in reality it was, more or less, venting. I would cry out to God in my frustration. When would it be my turn? When would he send me love? How much longer did I have to feel alone? I wasn’t there to discuss the matter with him, I was there to tell him what I wanted. he needed to know.
Looking back at my time as a single I see God’s grace all over my story, and the path he had paved for me. But there are so many things I know now, that I didn’t know then. If I could go back to those discussions with God, I would spend less time venting to him and more time listening. I would have invited him to shift my heart and open my eyes to what he was doing. If I knew then what I know now, here’s what I would have prayed:
1. Pray for Trust. One way I would have prayed differently is asking God to help me trust him more. We talk a lot about trusting God in the Christian life, but do we do it? I know I said I trusted him, but deep down I was afraid that maybe he couldn’t be trusted – that maybe he needed a little advice and direction about my life. As I look back, I see how much I missed out on life because I was worrying, analyzing, and planning, instead of resting in assurance of his perfect plans. The mark of trust is believing that God’s plans are so much better than anything we could come up with on our own – and believing that he is good. Trust is a necessary skill when it comes to finding love. If we’re unable to trust a perfect God, how much harder will it be to trust the fallible human being he one day places in our lives? I had so much to learn about trust back then, and so much I’m still learning.
2. Pray for Fulfillment. Deep down there was a part of me that believed I would feel fulfilled in the arms of my spouse. But if I knew then what I know now, I would have sought to be filled while standing alone. While there are so many things a healthy relationship can do, there are so many things it can’t. It can’t bring purpose, security, or healing. It can’t bring ultimate joy or perfect contentment. I would have prayed to rely on God more and more each day, because I would have known that a life that is filled to the brim will eventually overflow that kind of love onto the people God brings it’s way. I would have asked God to fill me with more of him, instead of simply asking him for things that could never actually fill me up.
SEE ALSO: Why I Don’t Hate Valentine’s Day
3. Pray for Discernment. I made many poor choices as a single. Partly because I didn’t really trust God, and partly because I allowed life to just happen. There were so many doors I shouldn’t have walked through, and so many doors I should have slammed shut. Instead, I lived in the mentality of “whatever happens, happens” and “maybe it’s meant to be.” What I didn’t realize is that God grants wisdom to those who want it. He gives us the ability to choose right from wrong, and to make healthy choices even when life offers us unhealthy options. I would have prayed for more discernment as I made choices in my life and relationships, rather than letting my life and relationships control me.
4. Pray for Healing. We don’t spend very much time looking in when we’re focused on finding a relationship. In my book, True Love Dates, I call this process “dating inward.” And I truly believe it’s one of the most important steps in finding love. We get so fixated on what we want in a relationship that we fail to focus in on who we are and what God is doing in us. If I could go back, I would have asked God for more healing as I examined all the inner-workings of my life. I would have addressed my insecurities, my fears, and my selfishness. I would have asked him to heal the parts of my life that only he could. What I didn’t always understand was that the best relationships are made up of two healthy people. I would have started working on me while standing alone.
5. Pray for Love. It’s so important to pray for love. God made us for relationships; we’re wired that way. But rather than be so consumed with finding love, I would have asked God to help me experience more of his love. What I didn’t know then is that knowing God’s love is the greatest way to understand earthly love – and to learn to love yourself. There is so much I could have learned about love as a single, by allowing God’s unconditional love to penetrate my life and my relationships. I would have asked him to help me receive more of his love in my life, because at the end of the day, the definition of true love can only begin there.
So many times we seek God in prayer with our “list.” We assume that prayer is for him, and is our chance to tell him what we want and need. While there is value in that, even more so it’s important to understand that prayer is actually for us. As much as God wants to give us the desires of our heart, more so, he wants to change our heart. To fill it with love, trust, and wisdom. To pour down fulfillment, peace, and faith and make it more like his. And when our hearts are truly aligned with his, we’re destined to experience life abundant – no matter what our relationship status.
SEE ALSO: When Valentine’s Day Hurts
Debra K. Fileta is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in Relationship and Marital issues. She, her husband and two children live in Hershey, PA. She is the author of the new book True Love Dates (Zondervan, 2013), challenging young men and women to do dating in a way that is psychologically sound, emotionally healthy and spiritually grounded. Visit www.truelovedates.com and follow her on Twitter to get your dating questions answered and to learn more.
Publication date: February 11, 2014
SEE ALSO: When You’re Single on Valentine’s Day
If you clicked this article, there’s a good chance you’re looking for a prayer for love. You may have been praying about love for a while, or maybe you don’t know here to begin.
It took me a while to grasp how to pray for love.
Because I’ve always had a tendency to think about love, rather than pray about it.
There’s been a series of events occurring in my life, and I find that I’m quick to analyze, figure out, and try to put the pieces together. But it takes me a while to turn to prayer. I guess what it comes down to is that I am somewhat of a control freak. For me, if I can’t have control, I fool myself into thinking that I’ve got some sort of ability to “figure it out” in my head.
But as I’ve been weeding through Scripture lately, I’m realizing that my tendency to over-analyze is so antithesis to what God’s word says. All through Scripture Jesus is challenging us: Don’t just dwell on things, pray about them. Prayer is the act by which we mentally hand over our problems, concerns, fears, desires, and dreams to someone who actually has the power to control. And it makes so much sense, because if we’re going to allow these things to fill our brain, we are better off doing it in a way that has the power to impact the things that are weighing us down, rather than simply allowing them to consume us.
So for those of you who may find yourself consumed by your love life- or lackthereof, here are some ways to mentally and prayerfully hand those things to the One who can actually do something about it:
Your prayer for love could look something like this:
That God would give you a relationship (Matthew 7:7)!
God’s word challenges us to ask and bring our needs before God. As long as our hearts are aligned with His, there are no limits on what we can ask. What are your deepest needs and desires when it comes to a relationship? Let Him know.
That He would grant you patience and insight to wait for a good one (Isaiah 40:31).
Waiting on God is never easy, because once again, it is a reminder that we are not in control. But through the time of waiting, ask God to change you, nourish you, and fill you so that you are empowered and prepared to take the next steps when the timing is right.
That He would be working out anything unhealthy in your life (Jeremiah 33:8).
Some of our baggage and sin we can recognize, and some we can’t. As you seek to enhance your love life, be sure to ask God to help you recognize and heal all the things in your life that aren’t lining up with His best. Seek to get to the bottom of your sins, and ask for His healing power to be at work in your life.
That He would shape your heart for nourishing interactions with others (Colossians 3:12-14).
It’s important to learn how to love, rather than simply longing to be loved. When your heart is open to loving and edifying others the way it was meant to, your relationships will be enriched and empowered.
That He would bring healing into your past so that you are free to embrace the present (Philippians 3:13-14).
We are called to move forward, and forget what is behind. Sometimes, it’s easy to get stuck on our past and be paralyzed from living in the present. No matter what kinds of things your past may hold, ask God to be at work in your past so that you are free to live in the moment and embrace your present.
That He would protect your emotional world and give you wisdom of how to set healthy boundaries (Proverbs 4:23).
I talk a lot about guarding our hearts and how to practically do that, but how often do we actually pray about our hearts and emotional worlds? God longs to be a part of our emotions just as much as our spiritual life. He is a holistic God, who longs to interact with our mind, body, and soul. Give Him a chance by opening your emotional life to Him through prayer.
That He would open your eyes to the joy of doing sex His way (Hebrews 13:4).
It’s so easy to focus on what we can’t do before marriage, and end up harboring bitterness and resentment. But what if we were to ask God to open our eyes to doing life His way? What if we were to plead with Him to download His heart onto ours, so that we could truly understand what is best for our lives? Rather than struggling with His plan, let’s ask Him to reveal His heart to ours, particularly in the area of sex and sexuality, so that we can be freed to trust Him without bitterness or regret. (More on this in Chapter 8 of True Love Dates)
That God would be the focus of your life now and forever (Psalm 37:4).
At the end of the day, no matter how we view it, there is no gift that is greater than the Giver. Whether we feel that or not, it doesn’t cease to be true. May we continue to bring this request before God, so that He can turn our hearts to Him as our greatest delight and desire, because perspective has the power to change everything.
This week, rather than focus on your problems, worries, or what you don’t yet have…focus on what you do have– A direct line to the One who controls all things, including your precious heart. It’s time to actually do some real work in the area of our love life and relationships instead of wasting our mental energy away. It’s time to pray.
Want to learn how to REALLY pray for your future love life in a way that will change everything? If you enjoyed this article, you’re going to LOVE my new in-depth program, guiding you into 21 specific days of praying for your love life along with a detailed prayer journal with activities.
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Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, speaker, and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, 21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life, and 21 Days to Pray For Your Love Life – where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. You may also recognize her voice from her 150+ articles at Relevant Magazine or Crosswalk.com! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog! Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter!
**For much more on finding true love and creating a healthy dating relationship- be sure to snag your copy of my new book, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life!
Part 1 Praying Passionately, Positively, and With Praise
- Pray passionately.
As you pray, allow yourself to be moved by God’s power and grace. Pray with an open and receptive heart. Don’t subdue your emotions—let them out! When you feel moved to tears, allow yourself to cry. When you feel the need to shout, yell! When the spirit calls you to sing, belt out a psalm! Allow your emotions to wash over you.Express how you feel to God and don’t hold back. Pray for your miracle with blind, passionate faith.
- Pray takes many forms. You may feel more connected to God when you’re singing or reading and studying the Bible. Allow your times of worship to become prayers to God.
- Find what works for you! Everyone is at a different point in their spiritual journey. There is more than 1 way to connect to God.
- Pray positively.
Place your faith in God and trust that God will answer your prayers. Remain positive throughout your prayer. Avoid negative phrases including “I know this is a long shot…” and negative thoughts. When you don’t trust in God’s capabilities, you are praying with a doubtful heart. Confess your fears and doubts to God. Allow your passionate faith and blind trust in God remove the burden of doubt from your heart. Remain focused on what God is capable of accomplishing. Be comforted by the knowledge that God is a loving, all-powerful being.
- When a doubt or fear arises, don’t wallow in it. Let it go! Do not allow yourself to worry over whether or not your desire will come true. Simply trust that you’ve done everything you can to make it happen. Turn to God in prayer and ask that God alleviate you from the doubt or fear.
- Pray with praise.Get creative!
Find a meaningful way to personally thank God. Praise God in prayer, thought, and deed. Thank God with a prayerful song, a thought of thanksgiving, or with a kind act. Praise God for His guidance and wisdom. Thank God for calming your fears, for alleviating your self-doubt, and for giving you hope. Praise God for his faithfulness and commitment to you. Sing his praises when your life is at its highest of highs and its lowest of lows. Be grateful to God in all that you do.
- Thank God for what He has done in the lives of others.
Part 2 Praying Persistently, Precisely, and with Patience
- Pray persistently.
Come to God in prayer until something happens! Pray constantly. Ask God for guidance and
around the clock, not just when it is convenient for you to do so. Pray on your commute, for five minutes at your desk, and at recess or lunch. Asking persistently for a miracle demonstrates your commitment. When you pray, be persistent about listening to God too. Listen for God’s guidance. Actively seek His advice.
- Devote an entire morning, day, or week to persistent prayer. Free yourself from distractions. Go to a park, sit by a lake, sit in a sanctuary, or retire to your bedroom. Make sure to listen to God’s will and directions too!
- Pray precisely.
Don’t be afraid to state what you want in clear and simple language. Ask God for the miracle. It is acceptable to be direct and to the point. Precise prayer requires focus and dedication. To avoid a wandering mind, avoid filling your prayers with irrelevant statements or flowery language—this won’t earn you any extra points!
- Repeat simple and direct phrases as part of your prayer.
- To help you focus, repeat the Catholic “Miracle Prayer.” The prayer goes as follows: “Lord Jesus, I come before Thee, just as I am, I am sorry for my sins, I repent of my sins, please forgive me. In Thy Name, I forgive all others for what they have done against me. I renounce Satan, the evil spirits and all their works. I give Thee my entire self, Lord Jesus, I accept Thee as my Lord God and Savior. Heal me, change me, strengthen me in body, soul, and spirit. Come Lord Jesus, cover me with Thy Precious Blood, and fill me with Thy Holy Spirit , I love Thee Lord Jesus, I praise Thee Lord Jesus, I thank Thee Jesus, I shall follow Thee every day of my life. Amen. Mary, My Mother, Queen of Peace, all the Angels and Saints, please help me. Amen.”
- Pray with Patience.
Waiting for a miracle to happen is frustrating. You may feel helpless, hopeless, and lost. You may want to wrangle control of your life from God. Take a deep, calming breath. Don’t lose faith in God. Your prayers are not being ignored. God works on His own timeline and in his own way. While you wait for your prayers to be answered, remain patient and lean on God and others for support.
Add New Question
Which prayer is most effective?
God will listen to you no matter what prayer you use. Just remember that God is always there for you, and that you should praise him just for this.
How do I know God will listen to my prayers and help me?
You know because God promises to hear you and help you in His Word, the Bible. Since God cannot lie, His Word is true.
What will happen if my prayers are not heard?
God is always listening, he hears your prayers. If your prayers do not come true, it is because God has something else in mind for you. Have faith.
How can I know what God is telling me?
God is in your mind and heart. What do they tell you? Whatever feels right is likely God speaking to you. You may also look around you; God often sends messages through other people.
What can I do to increase the level of my faith?
God is the author of faith and the provider of faith. Therefore, you have to go to the provider to seek an increase. Pray and ask the Lord to continue to grow your faith and trust in Him. He may grace you with it.
Can a Hindu person pray to Jesus?
Yes. Jesus invites each and every soul in the earth to come unto Him. He died on the cross for the entire world. He loves everyone and always invites everyone irrespective of religion.
How can I use the power of prayer in a time of financial stress?
Know that God is always listening and that He will guide you to do what is right. Make sure your prayers include praise and expressions of gratitude for the provision God has already made for you and will provide in the future as He leads you through this crisis. Ask other believers to join with you in prayer and to pray for you for wisdom, faith, and peace.
How do I get a miracle to happen?
Pray sincerely and ask God to grant you the miracle.
How do I pray to God for housing?
Dear God, Please help me to find a place to live for me and my children. Amen.
As time passes, praying for a miracle can get extremely frustrating. How do I know what is causing such prolonged troubles?
While praying for a miracle is an important part of your faith in a greater power helping you, you still need to help yourself by doing all that you can manage to fix your situation. To unravel what is causing your problems, write down what you see as all your problems, then write down what you think would fix them. Then set about putting in train things that will start to improve your situation, while still saying your prayers.
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I have prayed for a specific miracle and through a sequence of visions I have been assured by a strong feeling from God that it will happen. It has been a long time. Can you help?
Can my guardian angel change some people’s wrong point of view about some things through a miracle?
How do I seek God’s help for a relationship?
How to pray to God for miracle in my love life?
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- Let go and trust.
- Have faith in God.
- This is a personal and unique process. Your spiritual journey is distinct. How you pray for a miracle will differ from how your friend prays for a miracle. Find what works best for you! There is no wrong way.
- Know that The Lord will receive your prayer and you will receive what you need.
- Believe in that miracle.
- Don’t be discouraged if what you ask for doesn’t happen immediately or exactly how you wanted it. God knows what is best for you.
- Be very patient, as miracles truly worth waiting.
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Daily prayer for January 10. In any condition, or any situation we find ourselves, we should never forget that all things work together for those that love God, Christians.
Bible Verse for Today
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
This verse of the Bible was written by Paul, a man that has suffered from great tribulations. What can make him say this? That is because he trusts in God. What you faced in the past or what you are facing now doesn’t mean you can’t make it tomorrow. Job faced terrible times and he was still faithful to God even though he was asked to curse God. Joseph also faced terrible times but all things worked out well for him. He didn’t give up on God and follow Potiphar’s wife, and the end was great.
Don’t you know that sometimes, the situation you are going through God allows to make you strong and to prove to the world that you are trustworthy? The Prophet said in Isaiah 64:8 “Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand”. If you have seen a potter making a pot from clay before, you will see that after making it, for it to stand strong, they put it in the fire. That’s exactly how we are, that situation might be to make us strong or to be the stepping stone to a greater height. So love God!
Love God Prayer for Today
Father, I worship you because you are the greatest. Thank you for today, I believe all will be well today because all things will work together to favor me today. Everything I do today, let them be successful. Teach me to love you more. I believe you have called me according to your purpose. Let I fulfill the purpose in my life Lord.
Do not let me be discouraged today Lord, even if I face frustration and disappointment. Make all disappointment turn into a blessing for me in Jesus name. Amen.
Also read: DAILY PRAYER: Be an Agent of Joy – Make People Happy. January 9