(For other installments in this series, “Smokedawg Lights Up,” click here.)
All right, the title of today’s post is somewhat misleading, on several levels.
First, I’m NOT asking any of you readers out there to buy me stuff (even though my birthday is next month). For one thing, I have no P.O. box at the post office and I’d only trust maybe two or three of you with my home address. Also, generally it’s only female dommes (and smoking fetish gals who produce videos and such) who can get away with asking for gifts of smoking products and actually get them.
Second, I don’t have a ton of stuff that I want. Because, frankly, if I have TOO much, it will go to waste, unless my wife plans to partake of some of my cigarillos and, eventually, cigars.
So, that being said, what is this post about?
In part, it’s a response to a comment from my wife who, after reading my third smoking diary entry here at the blog (click here to read it), send me an instant message while I was upstairs working in my office and said, “If you keep buying stuff, how will I be able to surprise you?”
It’s a valid concern, though I would have thought she’d know to steer away from anything I had specifically mentioned I wanted to purchase in the coming days and weeks (and that pretty much just leaves American Spirit and Marlboro at this point).
I also joked with her…though it wasn’t a joke really, I suppose…that she could also take me to the cigar cafe/cigar bar about 20 minutes away from our house, which not only has a walk-in humidor but a decent selection of more “exotic” cigarettes (cloves, Nat Shermans, European brands, etc.). We also have a much smaller cigar place with a little lounging-around area just a few minutes away, too, if she didn’t want to travel to my preferred destination.
But, I figured, since my wife’s smoking is pretty focused on her own brand and has been since she was in her early 20s (except in emergencies when she can’t find her brand), and I’m the one doing more exploring and research into a wider world of smoking options, I could use this post for two purposes.
First, to provide a couple ideas for her of things I don’t plan to buy, but would love to get at some point. We’ll get to that in a moment.
Second, to provide a way for all of you, in the comments (since my wife is keeping tabs on this blog) to provide your own suggestions, if you have any, for things she might add to her gift list for me. Just don’t suggest B&H, Mores, Swisher Sweets, Hav-a-Tampa, American Spirit or Marlboro, since those are things I’ve already gotten or have plans in place to acquire. (Man, such a number of things for a guy who only smokes a couple times a week…LOL…but I loved beer sampler packs, too, in my younger days.)
Other than that, feel free to suggest anything reasonable and relatively affordable, except for something like this:
Nat Sherman “Fantasia” brand
Look, I’ve smoked some “girly” cigarettes so far, partly for fetish associations (The Benson & Hedges ones and, to a lesser, extent, the Mores are kinda girly)…but even I have limits, and I’m not going to smoke yellow, pink or any other of the assorted pastel colors in the pack above. So speaks my testosterone!
So, what are some of my personal choices of things I’d like the wife to include on the list of potential smoking gifts? Let’s see…
Nat Sherman cigarettes
OK, I’ve just ruled out the Fantasias, but Nat Sherman has several other brands that are quite appealing. If you’re not in the know, Nat Sherman is a tobacconist of high reputation in the United States, based in New York City. This is an operation that produces not just cigars but high-quality, all-natural cigarettes as well. Sadly, not easy to find at every smoke shop. I’ve seen the Fantasias at the cigar cafe I mentioned earlier, but I’m not sure if they carry any other Nat Sherman brands. And while my wife has a buddy in New York, she’s a healthy living kind of person, so asking her to make a trip to the Nat Sherman shop to buy smokes and send them to my wife isn’t gonna happen. And you can only order them from New York in cartons of five packs each, and each carton costs nearly $60. But a guy can hope for the wife to be able to find single packs of one or more of the following in our area, anyway (listed in order of preference, though my interest is almost equal among them):
Nat Sherman “MCD” brand
Nat Sherman “Naturals Original” brand
Nat Sherman “Classic” brand
Nat Sherman “Black & Gold” brand
Some of the above have light versions, and I suppose those would be OK, too, as long as nothing with menthol or mint is chosen.
Djarum Cloves
Now, I don’t know if I’d ever buy clove cigarettes on my own. I have pleasant associations with the smell of clove cigarette smoke, but the way my wife complains about how sweet and strong they are (she smoked one about a year ago), I have my reservations. But then again, I’m already smoking heavier cigarettes than she does with only five under my belt at this point. So, I suppose it would be a valid gift choice as well, and I know the cigar cafe a few communities away from us always used to carry several varieties of the Djarum brand, and maybe some other clove brands as well. I guess the Djarum Blacks or Djarum Blacks Supersmooth would be best, but there are also interesting-sounding variations like vanilla and cherry, so if my wife goes this route, I’ll trust her judgment. As long as she steers clear of menthol. 😉
Cigars and/or Cigarillos
I know, it’s vague, because I don’t have any specific to mention here. But a good-quality or even boutique-style cigar or cigarillo, or more than one, would be cool. I don’t know much about them, and neither does my wife, but I suppose some of you dear readers can help there, as long as you don’t suggest something super hard to find. We’re not living in a major metropolitan area, remember.
Ashtray
This is not exactly a major gift, clearly, and not as enjoyable as an actual smoke would be, but an ashtray that could do duty for a cigarette, cigarillo or cigar as needed (a modest sized cigar, that is) could be nice.
(To read the next installment in this series, click here.)
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This is my smokin’ song
It ain’t very long, but guaranteed to get the job done
Smoke one, what the fuck you waitin’ on
Get high, I’d love to blaze you high as the sky
But it hot, Wyte how hot, So hot ya brain about to fry
Check it out I roll with Swisher Sweets
And all day long I’m down to smoke
When it comes to chiefin’ dope
Its got to be dro to make me choke
What’s the word up on the low
I’m a let you know soon as I hear
That dro gone take a few hours
But I got hook ups on that pure
What you want player What you need
Comes to you no stems or seeds
Twist it up just as quickly as you get it and you will see
Swisher Sweets and greenary
Gone leave you floatin’ like the sea
Carribean Islands where I find them dope dealers supplin’ me
I got no time for yo bullshit
When you say you ain’t got my goods
Check yo references and find out I’m reliable in the hood
Give me bab I wish you would
You’ll see just how Lil’ Wyte work
Say you pushin thunder chicken
Bag it up let’s watch it twurk
If it’s some dirt, then you’ll get no cheese in return when I come back
The only reason I do that
Is to get a refund on my stack
But if its fire I’m comin’ back
To get some mo and that’s a fact
Bet’s the believe it’s got to be goody goody green
That’s where it’s at
This is my smokin’ song
It ain’t very long, but guaranteed to get the job done
Smoke one, what the fuck you waitin’ onEggstone – My Smoking Song – /> Get high, I’d love to blaze you high as the sky
But it hot, Wyte how hot, So hot ya brain about to fry
So you got a quarter key of some that California chronic
If its fire I’m jumpin’ on it
And if it ain’t I’m bouncin’ off it
It ain’t no profit comin’ back
A big ole bag of Bobby Brown
Soon as get that shit I’m Frayser bound
And down to smoke a pound
I never frown as long as that Mary Jane is all up in my system
Too bad you miss them What
Them six blunt that we turned to victims
Its on again
Like you got a two liter coke and a fifth of Hen
Steppin’ in everywhere you go fallin’ down
Cause you ten seats in the wind
Throwin’ up nothin’ but liquer and bud
Slow ya roll dog you to fuck up
You gone end up like the rest of them fools
Face down in the flo’ cause you got to buck
I got some problems just like you do too
But there’s always tommorrow
Will mo solve em’
Pass me the blunt I’m gettin tired of hittin on this bottle
It’s almost over for me and you
My ass about to pass out
One mo thing before I go
Never mind just put that fuckin’ dope out
I’m smoked out
And there ain’t no way I’m gone keep on a going
I should of been in bed a long time ago
I know it
This is my smokin’ song
It ain’t very long, but guaranteed to get the job done
Smoke one, what the fuck you waitin’ on
Get high, I’d love to blaze you high as the sky
But it hot, Wyte how hot, So hot ya brain about to fry
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