Well I still could not sleep so I decided to go ahead and do the beginning of our story about this pregnancy, here it is:
This is how I felt at the beginning of this pregnancy:
I was over joyed when I found out that I was going to be having another baby. On Christmas eve after we tucked in the kids for the night I noticed that I had some dark brown spotting and told Nick about it, I was really just in shock I don’t think I really knew what to do or to think I just remember being scared of the unknown. Christmas day was a blur NO bleeding but still wondering what had happened. The next night I had a lot of red blood and I again I told nick however this time I expected the worst. I really thought that I was loosing the baby. I just broke down in tears, I did not want this to happen. I cried myself to sleep that night.
I could not understand this. When we were taking things into our own hands and choosing to do things not to have kids we would pregnant. However when we finally took ourselves out of the picture and handed my womb over to God this happens. I just had all these thoughts going through my mind:
“Had we made a mistake letting God take control”
“Did we do something wrong, to deserve this”
“WHY, WHY, WHY”
“Did I hurt this child in some way”
“would God really allow this to happen, when we turned to him”
These thoughts and more just kept going through my head. We called an elder of our church and they had us out for dinner that night. I can remember praying for this child inside me not knowing if there was even one still there. We all took turns praying and then silence fell over the room, it was my turn I literally could not make any words come out of my mouth. My voice would not work. I just remember saying in my head over and over, “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN, LET THIS CUP PASS OVER ME, LET THIS BABY LIVE” I was begging and begging and crying and sobbing.
Over the next week Nick fasted for 7 days just as David had done in the bible until he knew weather his son would live or die. And I could do nothing but beg for the life of this baby, and lay on the couch doing little else at the request of the elders wife who had gone through this many times.
We had already picked out names for the new baby before this had happened, if it was a boy the name was going to be Joha Daniel (Joha being one of king Davids’ valiant warriors) and if it was a girl the name was going to be Abigail Faith. However after much prayer and fasting Nick came to me and said that he really felt as though we needed to change the names. If it was a boy it would be Samuel David (Samuel because he was begged for my his mother and David because he fasted and prayed for his son as well) and if it was a girl we would name her Hannah Faith (Hannah being the one begging for the life of her child)
I bled everyday for another week and a half before my insurance went through and I could go to the doctor. At my first appointment I had a sonogram to see how far along I was and to check the status of this little one. I saw this little peanut shape baby and heard and saw the heart beating and I broke down in tears of joy my baby was ALIVE! Through the tears I just remember thinking that that was the most beautiful little peanut shaped baby in the whole world, and thanked God. I drove home in tears however they were tears of joy now.
In total I bled for three weeks during this pregnancy.
Alittle over a month later the doctor did another sonogram and found that my placenta was covering part of my cervix, a partial placenta pervia and said that that could possibly have caused the bleeding, and that if it did not correct itself I would have to have a C Section at the end of this pregnancy.
It was as though everything was happening wrong with this pregnancy. I had forgotten that when you choose to Gods will you should expect trials. My placenta did move over time.
I will write up the rest of the story when I know the rest of the story!!
Lord bless this home Design
Lord bless this home – Religious Cut File
Lord bless this home is a Christian quote that we often say out loud. Why not have it written on a poster or transformed into a Christian wall art so that we will be reminded of it every single day? Use this religious cut file to create inspirational decorative elements that give strength and encourage people to keep faith and rely on Lord’s presence in their lives.
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- Angel Wings
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|Christian Hymn Lyrics Online
© 2008 Carden’s Design. All Rights Reserved.
| Like a fairy tale from a story book
A boy meets girl and love’s first look
They will pledge their love
They will give their lives
Forever and ever no compromise
But the struggles and worries come sneakin’ around
Nearly breakin’ their hearts never makin’ a sound
Lovin’ each other’s where strength is found
Lifting our voices and praying out loud (we pray out loud)
Lord bless our home
Holding hands (sharing hearts) as we’re sharing hearts
(Crazy world) It’s a crazy old world we’re livin’ in
Repeat Chorus (x2)