Someone once told me, ‘do not hold on to a blessing too tightly that you aren’t willing to let go anymore’. I think there is wisdom with what she said. And don’t we all struggle with that? Especially when we’re blessed with a relationship?
This entry has been inspired by my relationship with a good friend of mine who ignited this wisdom and experience in me. To you, I give my thanks.
I’ve been blessed with so many friends. And we as human beings experience relationships here and there. It is part of us. We need relationships – it is our design to desire such. And for some part of my life, I’ve been blessed with a special relationship that I was holding on so tightly to.
When a blessing makes you bleed
This relationship was a big blessing in my life. And in fact, it still is. But during the time, I was so stubborn and held on to my relationship with this person too tightly, I didn’t feel my hand was already bleeding and I was suffocating the blessing.
Holding on to a blessing too tightly will dethrone God in your life. Especially if that blessing is a relationship. The one thing that will ever play tug-o-war with God for the throne in your heart is a relationship – whether it be a relationship with a person (which is a two-way relationship), with your tv, computer, books, etc… (the latter ones are one-way relationships) Because what you have with God is a relationship too.
Feeling the loss
And so at some point in time when God sees that you cannot handle the blessing He has given you, He has to take it away. And yes you will excruciatingly feel the pain as God pries your fingers open. You will feel the cuts in your hand begin to bleed. And you will feel the loss – a void in your palm and a void in your heart for you have placed that blessing in the throne of God, committing idolatry.
It is such an irony that when you are willing to let go, God will let the blessing stay for He knows that He still holds Lordship over your life. But when the time comes that you’re holding on a wee bit tighter to that blessing, He’s gonna start telling you “Hey buddy, you better lossen up that grip.”
When the time comes that God needs to pry the blessing away from you, then you know that you have made yourself a captive of that blessing. And instead of a blessing it has become an idol for you. All the idols we make in our lives come from blessings – blessings that has taken the place of God in our hearts. So how do we avoid this? How can we let go?
Set your eyes on the Giver
How do we avoid idolatry? Check your heart. Is God still the only thing you cannot let go of? Are all other things worthless in light of Him? Is He still your focus? When the answer is no then that’s the time when you have to question the things in which you are fearful to let go of – because it has already taken root in the throne room of God in your life.
How can we let go of a relationship that we have been blessed with? Renew your mind. Always remember that God gives us blessings for a purpose – to bless others with it. If the relationship is not pleasing to God anymore, and if you yourself is not blessed with what is happening, then it’s time to search your heart with where you stand in the relationship. Check your grip. Are you holding on too tightly?
It is not easy to know these things. You need the discernment and wisdom of God. You need to give Him time to tell you this. Often, we are blinded with emotions in this aspect and we need the help of other people whom we can trust and to who we can be accountable with. Ask them for advice. Humble yourself and know that you need it.
And when you know and realize that you are holding on too tight, then you know that you have to let go. Loosen your grip by loosening the relationship with that person in your heart. Meaning, slow down or cut short the communication between the both of you. Relationships grow through communication, so in order to loosen it up, loosen up the communication.
Back off and try to see the relationship in a bigger light. Is it still pleasing to God? Are other people going to be blessed with your relationship with that other person? Maybe it’s time to give the blessing back to God and develop yourself more in order for you to handle it better the next time around.
Check your grip.
Let go. Develop yourself. Wait on God.
Bible Verses about Letting Go and Letting God – Inspirational Scripture Quotes on Letting Go and Letting God Lead, Letting Go of Things, How to Let Go and Let God, How to Let Go and Trust God, How to Let Go and Be Happy! Explore 7 sets of Encouraging & Inspirational Bible Verses about Letting Go – Bible Verses, Scriptures, Quotes & Passages about Letting Go and Letting God, Letting go of Control and Letting God Lead, Trusting God and Trusting God’s Plan as he leads us, and Being Happy, Joyful, Cheerful and Peaceful as we learn to let go of things and leave them in God’s hands. Let’s see what the Bible says about letting go and letting God, and May we all be encouraged, inspired, and motivated to let go and let God today and always.
What does the Bible say about letting go? What does the Bible say about letting things go? What does the Bible say about letting go and let God? What does the Bible say about letting go of burdens, worry, problems, hurt, love, past hurts, people, anger, bad relationships, pain, your past, & the past? We will be exploring these today and in the next few days, by God’s grace handing over our worries, cares, fears, hurts, and everything to God: Letting Go and Letting God Lead in every area of our lives. Scriptures listed below are very Inspiring, Encouraging, Reassuring, Motivational & Uplifting – Powerful & Comforting reminders that we do not need to carry any burdens any more. We can and should instead let go and let God, and truly be at peace, no matter what we may be dealing with, rest assured with the confident hope that God will take care of us, and God will deal with every situation we may encounter. Let Jesus take the wheel! Bible Verses & Quotes below.
Inspirational Bible Verses about Letting Go, Letting God, Letting God Lead – Encouraging Scripture Quotes
(See #7 for Helpful Notes & Scriptures about Letting go of Control, i.e Scriptures on “How to Let Go & Let God”)
Bible Verses about Letting Go of a Relationship; Bible Verses about Letting Go of Anger, Hurt;
Let the Beauty of Jesus be seen in me
#1 Letting Go of Burdens and Trusting God – He knows all and sees all, and His plans for us are GOOD.
Let Go and Trust God. Do not depend on your wisdom or your understanding. Remember, God always sees the big picture. When we trust God with all of our hearts, He always guides, directs, and fills us with His joy and peace.
Proverbs 3:5-6, ESV Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Jeremiah 29:11, ESV For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Bible Verses about Trusting God, How to Live a Joyful Life – 12 Ways to be Joyful
#2 Letting Go and Letting God – Give it to God, Whatever it is!
Let Go and Let God. Let go of fear, worry & doubt. Let go of burdens. Take your worries, cares and burdens to the Throne of God. Put all your burdens in His able hands, and leave them there. Find rest in the peace, love and presence of God, our loving and caring Father.
1 Peter 5:7, NLT Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
Matthew 11:28, ESV Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Philippians 4:6-7, NLT Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Bible Verses about Worry & Anxiety, Fear Not Bible Verses
#3 Letting Go of Things, e.g. Hurts, Anger, Pain, & “Stuff”
Ephesians 4:31-32, ESV Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:26, ESV Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
Proverbs 20:3, NIV It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.
Matthew 6:19-21, ESV Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Bible Verses about Anger & Anger Management, Bible Verses about Forgiveness,
Bible Verses about Generosity, Greed & Giving, Praying for Peace – When Life Brings Pain and Disappointments
#4 Letting Go of the Past, and Pressing on!
Philippians 3:12-14, ESV Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Proverbs 4:25-27, ESV Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.
Bible Verses about Moving On
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The bible teaches us to “cast all your cares upon me”….
Realistically, how many of us actually do this “without” trying to fix the situation ourselves? I would estimate a very low percentage. Learning to “let go” and “let God” is not as easy as it sounds, however, the bible reassures us to …”Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.” Ps 55:22 and “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
For example let’s consider Job’s trials. Job said: “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.” Job 13:15 KJV
The taunting, “Worry Syndrome”
I pose the question, if you’re in constant turmoil and worrying, why do you pray? Is it just something you do because it’s tradition? Or, do you truly seek God for peace and understanding? Forming a “real” relationship with God provides a sense of security, revelation knowledge and mostly, “a peace that surpasseth all understanding.”
The bible says to delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Ps 37:4) What we should understand mostly from this passage is the fact that there is a process of learning just how to “delight yourself in God.”
Are you willing to go through the process? If so, here are a few suggestions to get you started on your blessed journey: Pray and sincerely ask the Holy Spirit to order your footsteps as you prepare to read God’s words.
- Clear your mind of all self-thoughts of how you “think” it should be. (As Paul stated to the Corinthians in 1 Corin 14:36; “Do you think that the knowledge of God’s word begins and ends with you Corinthians? Well, you are mistaken!”)
- Be prepared to push your way through negative temptations of things like, “I don’t understand what I’m reading” or “this doesn’t make any sense” or “I don’t have time to read” or “every time I try to read the bible, I get sleepy” (well, perhaps you do but, understand that the enemy doesn’t want you to read it, speak boldly and declare the good works of the Lord that you have already conquered the enemy and you’re on your way to a victorious life in Jesus Christ!) and continue to read. (Ref: “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” Matt 26:41)
- Make it a point to read at least 3 scriptures per day. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to place these readings in your spirit so that when it’s time for you to use them, He will bring them back to remembrance.
- Don’t “try” so hard. God knows your heart. A sincere heart towards Him will produce results.
- STOP stressing. When you find yourself going to a place of stress, having tantrums or rebellious actions – STOP and ask yourself, “what do I look like to God right now?” Did you know that God knows what our needs are long before we do? Let go and let Him do what He promises all throughout His message. BUT, if you feel you must continue through a tantrum, afterwards, repent (ask for forgiveness), shake the dust and renew your mind to the will of God. Note: “Discouragement, depression, and self-pity are the result of problems and adversity for some. For others, problems are a challenge and help bring about faith, trust and victory.” 1
- Be willing to go through your storm! Pick up your cross and humbly carry it to its destination! God is able to use us for His glory when we’re willing to pursue the purpose He intended for us long ago.
- Place yourself in environments and with people that are positive and encouraging.
- Instead of the “me, oh my” syndrome, with a sincere heart, pray for others.
- “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to your own understanding.”
Did you know that doubt and faith cannot exist in the same body? For example, have you ever found yourself in a conversation saying, “I know I should be stronger than this, oh yes I have faith BUT, I’m human too, and sometimes it just gets too hard.”? The mind can sometimes be our worst weapon against self; however, the fact that we can dismiss negativity by adding positives allows us to be over comers! It is unwise (and impossible) to seek the Lord through “worldly” eyes. God is a spirit and the bible informs that we must seek Him in spirit and in truth.
Larry Burkett once said, “as Christians we are admonished to be over comers, all you need to do is ask the Lord to help you.” Scripture reference: 1 John 5:5; “Who is the one that overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.”
What a message of reassurance, Amen?
The bible is filled with such reassurance that all we have to do is trust God, know the word for yourself and to “let go and let God” do what He purposed for your life long ago.
© 2005-2015 Regina Baker
- Grab a copy of my Amazon Best Seller — book: “How To Let Go and Let God” on Amazon Kindle
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The person you loved – and lost – will always be tucked away in your heart. These tips for letting go of a past relationship will help you remember the best of your love while you heal and move forward.
“I wish I’d read your ideas for letting go of a first love when I was 14,” says Christine in response to Why You Can’t Let Go of Your First Love – and How to Be Free. “That was the first time I broke up with someone. I was young but I loved him so much and I doubt he’s ever loved someone the same way. I remember everything for those months we dated, hung out, talked about God and His word and how it can help our lives. I miss him. But, I guess he can stay tucked in a corner of my heart.”
I love the way she phrased it: he will always be tucked away in a corner of her heart.
That’s how it happens with past relationships, isn’t it? They’re always part of you. The boys you loved will never completely go away – and they shouldn’t. They are part of your heart, soul, and spirit.
The secret is to heal and move forward without leaving your spirit and soul in a man’s hands.
How to Let Go of a Past Relationship
The following five tips for letting go of a past relationship are inspired by Eve. Yes, the Eve of the Garden of Eden fame! She’s the star of the first chapter of my new book, Blossoming After Loss: How to Let Go of Someone You Love.
Each tip in this blog post – and every chapter of my book – revolves around a different aspect of your self: spiritual, emotional, creative, physical, and intellectual. This is how you’ll heal and Blossom into the woman God created you to be: by flourishing in all aspects of your life.
Read the tips below; tell me which one stands out to you. Write me in the comments section below – I’d love to hear what you think. Better yet, write your thoughts in your private journal. Talk to God; tell Him what it’s costing you to learn how to let go of someone you love – or a past relationship.
1. Surrender to this season of your life
Who have you lost? What are the circumstances, how did you get here, why are you struggling to let go of a past relationship?
One of the best ways to heal is to surrender. This is the season you’re in; fighting it or wishing it wasn’t so will only prolong your pain and delay your healing. Surrender, accept, and allow this season to pass through your life. This is the season for letting go and breaking free from the past. Sit with that idea for a moment: this loss was meant to be. Perhaps it’s even the best thing that could have happened to you at this point in your life. If you’re walking with God, you can rest assured that learning how to let go of a past relationship really is the best thing for you.
Remember Eve’s choice to taste the apple in the Garden of Eden – and to give some to Adam? Talk about having to let go of the past! Her relationship with God was pure and innocent. Eve walked with God, talked to Him freely, and actually heard His voice talking back to her. She and God had a beautiful and fulfilling spiritual relationship…until she made a foolish choice. But, she learned how to let go of a past relationship – not just with God, but with her life partner, Adam. And if she can do it…so, too, can you.
2. Deal with your guilt, shame, self-condemnation
This is a difficult and emotional tip on how to let go of the past: work through the guilt, shame, or self-condemnation you have for your role in the relationship.
Do you have regrets? Maybe you wish you’d done things differently. Maybe you said things you wish you could take back, or didn’t say things you should’ve said. Perhaps you caused more conflict than calm, more pain than peace in your relationship.
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If you have regrets, you’re 100% normal. It’s impossible to be in relationship with people – especially people we love – and not make mistakes. It’s impossible to be perfect. But, it is possible to remember that your imperfections, flaws, and mistakes are NOT the cause of the breakup or your loss. Learning how to let go of a past relationship has to involve accepting that you did the best you could with what you had.
3. Nourish your body with onions (yes! onions)
“When my world falls apart, I chop vegetables,” writes Vanessa Ochs in Sarah Laughed: Modern Lessons From the Wisdom and Stories of Biblical Women. “Onions are especially good, because then you get to cry without having to explain what’s wrong if you don’t want to. Then you stir-fry vegetables with garlic and soy sauce, cook up some rice, and by then, although your despair may still be there, at least you have something to eat! The next day, you chop, you cook, you fold laundry, and you shower and get dressed. You go through the actions of sustaining life until finally the day comes along when you discover that without your being aware, happiness and hope have crept back in.”
Take heart, gentle reader, for happiness and hope WILL creep back into your life! Slowly, slowly, your frozen broken heart will thaw and your spirit will warm your soul. Nourish your body by eating foods that are life-giving and whole. Learn how to let go of a past relationship by feeding your emptiness in healthy and life-affirming ways.
4. Plant the seed of a flower as a symbol of letting go
Learning how to let go of a past relationship doesn’t have to be a pain-filled experience! Yes, healing from the loss is a journey that isn’t fun, but it can also include some bright spots.
Go to a garden store. Get a medium-sized brightly-colored ceramic flower pot, a bag of potting soil, and seeds of beautiful plants or flowers. This is your symbol of hope and healing, digging in and Blossoming, becoming who God created you to be. Plant your seed in your beautiful ceramic pot, and watch what happens. That seed is you: buried, dark, cold, and alone. And the sprout that breaks through the soil is also you: hopeful, alive, growing, reaching. And the flower that Blossoms? You tell me!
To learn more about moving forward, read How Letting Go Helps You Heal and Blossom.
5. Learn healthy ways to cope with relationship conflict
Letting go of a past relationship often involves conflict of some sort. Maybe your kids want to be with their dad, but the divorce is difficult. Maybe your colleagues are tiptoeing around you at work because your spouse recently died. Maybe your ex-husband or ex-boyfriend is suing you for custody or the cat, for alimony or all your possessions.
Learn how to set boundaries and deal with conflict. Learn how to stand up for yourself while respecting others. Learn how to listen to a loved one’s perspective while you continue to stay focused on God’s still small voice.
Conflict abounds in all relationships, all losses, all seasons of life. We learned from Eve that conflict even arises in paradise – even though it wasn’t God’s plan for us.
Learn how to let go of a past relationship
In my ebook – How to Let Go of Someone You Love – I share 3 secrets and 75 tips for letting go of the past.
This is the book I wrote when I lost my sister, and it’s the foundation of my current book Blossoming After Loss: How to Let Go of Someone You Love. This ebook is filled with practical, applicable tips for healing after a breakup – I interviewed counselors, life coaches, and grief experts for their best advice on letting go of the past.
How do you feel after reading my tips on how to let go? I welcome your thoughts and stories below. I can’t offer advice, but you may find it helpful and healing to share your experience with tucking someone away in a corner of your heart.