Divorce is tough. It is one of the most painful experiences any family can experience. It’s not only the death of a marriage, but also the death of hopes and dreams. While divorce is very prevalent in our generation, the pain, discouragement and abandonment of it still hurts. Most people who are divorced didn’t plan for it or ever expect it to happen to their marriage. While divorce displeases God, it still happened during biblical times. However, one thing we can be sure of is that even though God hates divorce as well as everything else that is harmful to people, He loves divorced people and families and wants them to be healed and made whole. If you are going through divorce, the Bible offers comfort and hope during this difficult season. The healing or recovery process may not be easy but it sure beats staying in the valley of despair. Here are seven healing Scriptures for the divorced.
If you are a divorced woman, pretty much no matter what your marriage was like (meaning, if you left because of adultery, abuse, or addiction, or if you were left by a man that you thought loved you), you are walking through life with a low bar.
You may not think you are, but you are.
One of the areas that you need to have healed in you before you consider a new relationship is what you currently expect from your next partner. If you expect pain and arguing and sadness, sweet girl, it’s time to adjust that bar of yours.
I’ve talked a bit here about my realization and admission that my bar has been low. I have been so very hurt over the years that I had come to a place of either expecting only hurt in the future or that I would just emotionally close up shop and never try again.
But then I met that man that I talked about in a post or two or three or four. And though it seemed that we took a little break, we are definitely still friends. Still very good friends.
And he is such a good, good man. But hands down one of the best parts: he is a game-changer.
From now on, I will never look back, never lower my standards:
Ladies, here’s what I know. I have quite a bit of baggage. And I’ve been really hurt. And my self-confidence has taken a beating. And I thought there weren’t men out there who would be kind to me or who would simply like me for me. But I was wrong.
In the brief time we’ve been communicating, Jesus has used this man to help me rethink almost everything about what a partnership could look like and what I should not settle for.
So if you find yourself in this place… this place of looking back over your shoulder at the rubble that’s been left behind and wondering how in the world you will ever be able to trust another man, you can find healing and you can move forward.
Ask Jesus to heal the wounds that have been left behind.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
Ask Jesus to speak into your heart how he sees you, who you truly are.
You are precious and honored in my sight, and I love you. Isaiah 43:4
Ask Jesus to bring safe men into your life who will treat you kindly.
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24
Ask Jesus to protect you from unsafe men who will treat you harshly.
A gentle response diverts anger, but a harsh statement incites fury. Proverbs 15:1
Ask Jesus to give you the discernment you need to decide who to let in and who to walk away from.
For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief. Proverbs 24:16
Ask Jesus to give you hope for his good plan for you, man or not.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
I believe that God does not wish for you to live in constant relational strife. I believe that God does not wish for you to repeat your mistakes because you are so used to pain you think it’s all you deserve. I do not know if marriage is what’s up ahead for you, but I do believe that if it is, his desire is that it’s a relationship that mirrors the sweet and beautiful interplay between Christ and the Church. And girls, if you’re going to have that, you must raise your bar.
This article is part of our larger resource: The Christian Woman’s Guide to Starting Over after Divorce: 7 In-Depth Steps to Take Starting Today. If you’re going through a divorce or are already divorced and looking for more resources, be sure to visit our guide!
Elisabeth Klein is grateful wife to Richard, and mom and stepmom to five. She is the author of Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage and Dating after Divorce, among many other titles, that can all be found at Amazon.com. She moderates private Facebook groups and e-courses for women in difficult marriages and those walking through divorce. You can find her on Facebook.
Publication date: March 24, 2016
- 1 Healing From Divorce After Finding Real Hope!
- 2 It Takes Time Healing From Divorce!
- 3 Healing From Divorce!
- 4 Gain Wisdom And Understanding
- 5 Here Are Some Helpful Links:
- 6 Learn How To Discover The New Normal
- 7 Is There Life After Divorce?
- 8 Healing From Divorce Will Take Some Help!
- 9 Related Pages Of Encouragement:
- 10 The Great Pain Of Divorce
- 11 Healing From Divorce, And Then What?
- 12 Divorce Hurts Everyone With No Exception!
- 13 Marriage Is The Ultimate Team Sport!
- 14 How To Start Healing From Divorce?
- 15 More Ways To Find Healing From Divorce!
- 16 Healing From Divorce Is The Goal!
- 17 Healing From Divorce Is Not Quick And Easy!
- 18 Healing Does Take Some Time!
- 19 How Long Will It Take To Heal From Divorce?
- 20 What If My Problems Seem Out Of Control?
- 21 Find Hope And Encouragement From Our Links!
- 22 For Encouragement Call 1-800-633-3446 or Chat
Healing From Divorce After Finding Real Hope!
It Takes Time Healing From Divorce!
Healing From Divorce!
Healing from divorce can occur over time with God’s assistance, love, and grace. Divorce tears apart the two who were made one through marriage, so it is painful! The scars will last a lifetime, yet the pain fades over time. It may seem impossible, but it will take some time and some work, and walking close to God.
Many of you did not want a divorce like me. Are you wondering what we ought to look forward to in life not being married any longer? There is life after a divorce when God works in your heart to forgive, heal, learn, and then turn the page. Going through a divorce which I did not want, was extremely painful. It was evident that my ex-wife could not deal with things and she ended up with her second divorce.
It must have been hard for her too, but all it seemed as though she wanted a way out. Your story could be similar or maybe entirely different?
Gain Wisdom And Understanding
Learn some tips on how to begin healing from divorce. Divorce is the ripping apart of one flesh into two! Through my experience, separation is one of the most painful things a person can go through. You must consciously make an effort to heal from a divorce, or you will not recover from it entirely.
A very simplistic formula to consider when you heal from a divorce, you need to get closer to God. Be aware of your health, you had a divorce, life is not over, but it just has taken an extremely painful detour.
Learn how to start healing from a divorce by practicing forgiveness of your spouse at some point needs to be a part of the recovery! ~ Bill Greguska
Here Are Some Helpful Links:
- Can I recover from a broken heart?
- Deal with divorce the right way?
- Divorce and depression often go hand in hand?
- How should parents who are divorcing deal with child custody issues?
- What about divorce and remarriage?
Learn How To Discover The New Normal
- When I was first divorced, I spend most of my time with people in my Bible study, and a few others. I did go on a couple “so-called” dates, primarily for companionship and something to do socially, but there was not much of a spark or mutual interest that was probably better since I knew I was not ready for something like dating just after recently getting over a painful divorce.
- There have been times I have been alone yet not lonely. And other times the loneliness can hurt. I have learned to lean on God for His comfort and also a few friends. Life goes on, and you need to determine what your new standard will be, you have input into what your new standard will be by taking, this time, to evaluate and ask God for His guidance.
Is There Life After Divorce?
- Of course, you have a mind of your own, but what I am saying is wisdom not to jump into a new set of problems, this is an excellent time to rediscover God into your life, and also to rekindle old friendships and even make new healthy friendships. Set out to discover that there is life after divorce once you learn how to heal from a divorce. “Divorce is open-heart surgery, emotionally.
- Some people are not willing to give it enough time, and their expectations for recovery are too fast. When you get up and go quicker than you’re supposed to, and you push your healing cycle too quickly, you have to do it over again, and you get a relapse.” Steve Grissom and Kathy Leonard.
Healing From Divorce Will Take Some Help!
A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there’s less of you. ~ Margaret Atwood
Psalm 6:2 Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint; heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.
Related Pages Of Encouragement:
- Pray to God
- Prevent a divorce
- New start
- Trust in God
A Special Link for a Little Extra Encouragement
The Great Pain Of Divorce
Bottom line, divorce can be excruciatingly painful, but with God, all things are possible when it comes to healing of a broken heart and broken dreams!
As a Christian man, divorce was not an option for me, and I thought my ex-wife too, by how she discussed things before we got married, but apparently, things change.
I went through a divorce that I did not want, and it was the hardest thing I ever went through in my life, way harder than even the death of my mother who I loved dearly. ~ Bill Greguska
Healing From Divorce, And Then What?
Divorce Hurts Everyone With No Exception!
- Your marriage is worth the effort to try to rebuild. In our society people go through because of many reasons, financial, emotional, unfaithfulness, lack of love or respect, to name a few.
- If you are in a struggling marriage, go to God in prayer for help. Examine your part in the situation and work on that, rather than pointing the finger at your spouse.
- If you are single, take your time to make sure you are ready for marriage and that you and your partner take marriage very seriously for life. Hebrews 13:4
- Don’t say I do, if you mean I hope so, yes of course in time people do change, and sometimes for the worst, but that is when real love needs to apply.
- There are situations of abandonment, unfaithfulness come into play, but that still doesn’t mean one is obligated to divorce their partner, but it is an option.
Marriage Is The Ultimate Team Sport!
- If you are married, treat your spouse the way you did when you were dating and didn’t take your spouse for granted. If you do not work at your marriage, it opens a door for Satan to do damage.
- Marriage is a two-way street, and there are times when a partner does not care any longer to work on the marriage. God permitted divorce “Because of the hardness of their hearts.” People then and now need to be willing to work through the hard times and find healing from divorce.
- The pain and scars may fade over time, but it will always be there to some degree deep down inside, divorce is not something to jump into out of anger or hurt. You must make an effort to learn how to heal from divorce, or you will have even more problems on your hands.
How To Start Healing From Divorce?
- Divorce is not recommended or even encouraged. The most that can be said is that sexual immorality and abandonment are grounds (an allowance) for divorce. Confession, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration are always the first steps.
- Divorce should only be viewed as a very, very last resort as a form of the safety of either of the spouses. Prevent separation as far as you are possible as you can within your power and with God’s strength and wisdom!
- It is extremely dangerous to go beyond what the Bible says 1 Corinthians 4:6. The most common other grounds for divorce that people try to exercise are spousal abuse (emotional or physical), child abuse (emotional, physical, or sexual), addiction to pornography, drug/alcohol use, crime/imprisonment, and irresponsible use of money (such as gambling addiction). Many people do get divorced on these grounds. It is not recommended to do so upon any of these discoveries. Instead of talking and counseling and prayer need first to be called upon for assistance.
More Ways To Find Healing From Divorce!
- Try to understand that by saying the above are not biblical grounds for divorce; we are certainly not saying that a man/woman whose spouse is practicing such activities should stay in the situation.
- If there is any risk to self or children, separation is a good and the right steps, and potentially down the road divorce, if all else fails. For the sake of the children, avoiding a divorce can be a real motivation, yet the parents must seek help for themselves.
- Bottom line, what are the biblical grounds for divorce? The answer is sexual immorality and abandonment. But are there more reasons for divorce beyond these two?
- Possibly. Is divorce ever to be treated lightly or used as the first recourse? God is capable of healing and renewing any marriage no matter how complicated things have gotten. Always prevent divorce if you can, because separation or divorce should only occur in cases of repeated and unrepentant heinous sin.
Healing From Divorce Is The Goal!
- An excellent resource to use is called DivorceCare.org; they will help you heal and get your life back.
- No matter what your situation is concerning your divorce, the answer to the question, “Is there life after divorce?” A simple response to this issue is, “YES” but that is not without any scares or sometimes life-long damage involved.
- One of the first things to do is get closer to God and maintain friendships with those you love and love you, and are out for your best interest. The second point to keep in mind is not to rush into a new dating relationship, trying to fill the void; that is only asking for big trouble.
- I have compared death to a divorce, and I at age 56, I experienced one divorce and a few real immediate deaths in my life including my mother, a couple of best friends and other family members like my dad. All the deaths in my life were not as bad as the divorce that I went through.
- The reason being is the hurt and bad feelings that are connected to a divorce, not to mention the splitting of the mutual friends and back-biting of the others spouses family and friends who took sides with the husband or wife that they were dearest to you. Contrary to death, divorced people are still around which can be haunting in a current type of way.
Healing From Divorce Is Not Quick And Easy!
- The quick answer is no, BUT with God’s help and support of other believers, it won’t be as hard as you may think. God loves each one of us, and his compassion for us is overwhelming.
- Yes, God hates divorce, but he loves us and knows our needs of a companion to, and if it is his will, He will prepare us the right person if we are patient to wait on the Lord. Keep in mind that there needs to be a grieving time and healing time. I would say my grieving time was almost five years, and my healing time was an additional five more years.
Healing Does Take Some Time!
- Each of us heals and grieve at different speeds, but a rule of thumb to consider is for dating again is to wait 1-3 years at least (per years of marriage), so you can get over your divorce.
- It is hard enough not to bring into your new relationship baggage that will only make things harder, but if you did get serious with your new partner, the chances are it would be possible to sexual attraction. You need to keep an open palm and allow the Lord to put into your palm the right person into your life, not just anyone to fill the void of loneliness.
How Long Will It Take To Heal From Divorce?
- Your divorce will follow you the rest of your life, but the intensity of feelings will diminish. To answer that depends on how long you were married and other variables. So the answer to the question, can you heal from a divorce? The answer is without a doubt is YES!
- Just remember that yes you can heal from a divorce, although it depends on how you deal with your feelings and thoughts. Stay close to godly people and be sure to get some emotional support from a pastor, counselor, support group, or even a close friend that you can trust.
What If My Problems Seem Out Of Control?
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“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~ M. Kathleen Casey
Psalm 30:2 Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.