Praying for reconciliation

Here are 5 prayers for reconciliation in relationships between spouses.

Prayer of Forgiveness

Righteous Father,

I know that You seek to have us always be in a right relationship with You and sometimes I do things that grieve You. I know that I do and say things that grieve my spouse too so I am asking You to give me the right words to say to be reconciled to my spouse.  I know I have made many mistakes and have asked for forgiveness from them but it seems that it hasn’t restored our marriage to where we’re both in a right relationship with one another and I know You desire us to be in one.  I need Your help.  Please send me Your Spirit to show me what I might have done wrong that I was not even aware of and soften my spouse’s heart to accept my faults and extend forgiveness to me so that we can worship You together in the way that is pleasing to You and in the way You intended a husband and a wife to be joined together in offering You thanksgiving, praise, and honor.  I know that in my own inadequacies I cannot fully understand how to always say the right words or do the right things but it is my desire to be reconciled with my beloved mate and it is in the strong name of and for the glory of the name above all names, Jesus Christ my Lord, Amen.

praying for reconciliation

Prayer of Blessing

Great God in heaven,

I am asking You for Your forgiveness for things that I have done to You that are clearly sinful for I am surely not sinless (1 John 1:8-10) and forgive me for those things that I have obviously done wrong to my spouse to hurt them and cause them pain.   I am asking You to bless my spouse and help them to understand how far I fall short of the perfect spouse and I pray for Your help in knowing how I can help to restore this relationship and make it more of the way You originally intended for us to have a right relationship with one another and with You.  I know that my prayers have sometimes been hindered because of my own stubborn heart and unwillingness to be a greater servant of my spouse and to love them in the way that You have loved me, even dying for me while I was Your enemy (Rom 5:10) and a sinner (Rom 5:9).  Please extend to me Your mercy and grace and allow me to treat my spouse in the way that You love me unconditionally and not treat them the way that I often do.  I need Your help in doing these things and again, bless my spouse and I thank You for my spouse and for Your forgiveness, love, and grace and in the precious name of the Savior, Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.

Prayer of Reconciliation

Father in heaven,

You have reconciled me to Yourself through Your Son’s precious blood and so I am begging You to help me be reconciled to my beloved spouse.  Only You can change the human heart (Prov 21:1) so I ask You to change my heart to be one that seeks to humble myself and seek reconciliation in my relationship with my mate.  Too often I speak without thinking and I know my words hurt my spouse but this is no excuse for the things that I speak to them.  I ask for Your Spirit to be sent to help us be reconciled with one another as Your Son’s precious blood was shed for our being reconciled to You (2 Cor 5:18; Col 1:20).  This I pray for Your Son’s most holy name and for His glory, Amen.

Prayer of Restoration


You are in the restoration business; restoring me by giving me Your Spirit.  You have made me into a new creation in Christ (2 Cor 5:17) and I am pleading with You to help me restore this marital relationship with my beloved spouse.  How often have I done things out of pure selfish ambition and gain?  I cannot count the times where I was only looking out for my own interests and not that of my spouse.  Please forgive me for my selfishness and help our relationship be restored to the way it previously was.  I need Your help in doing this because I don’t always know the right thing to say or do and I lack Your wisdom in acting out of a sincere and genuine heart that is motivated only by serving my spouse and loving them in the way that You love me.  What more can I do to help in restoring this relationship to where You would have it be?  Help me to think, act, and speak in ways that would reflect Your own love and for this I pray in the precious name of the Great Son of God, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Prayer of Repentance


I repent of my sins and my sins against my spouse.  I am so sorry and I need to tell You and my spouse that I have sinned.  Let me be humble in approaching them by telling them that I have sinned against them by the way that I have acted or by the words that I have used.  I know that I don’t always treat my spouse in the way that I am supposed to because there are many times that I am still more concerned about myself more than I am my spouse.  I need to esteem my spouse, to cherish my spouse, and to extend to them the same grace and mercy that You extended to me, even though I didn’t deserve it.  Help me to understand that I cannot fix relationships on my own.  Only Your Spirit can give me a tenderer heart and please soften my spouses heart too so that they can accept my apologies and to let them know that I often act out of impulse and pride.  Help me to know the right words to say to them so that I can show them that I have a repentant heart and seek to be reconciled to them in our relationship because the relationship between a husband and wife is supposed to reflect that of the relationship that Jesus Christ has with me and with the church.  For this I pray for the Son of God’s glory and in His name, Amen.

Final Thoughts

Maybe you’ve prayed such a prayer before.  I know I have and I also know that I’ll need to again being I am a fallen creature.  I need God’s help in knowing how to pray and how to seek forgiveness and to love my spouse in a way that shows her that I do and not just depend on words alone.  Can you comment by giving us your own prayer so that we might know what to pray and how to pray it?

Take a look at some Bible verses about marriage: Bible Verses About Marriage

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Dear God:

I pray that Elizabeth will return to me so we can be married in the eyes of the Lord. I actually purchased a ring after her last letter telling me not to contact her again. Now that is faith. I have nothing to go on except you God. Remember the movie “Build it and they will come.” I thought that was appropriate for purchasing a ring. Purchase a ring and she will return.”

Although she has written me a letter to not have any contact with her, I pray that she retracts that letter with another letter inviting me to have montly contact or weekly contact just for dinner only. Dear God we need eye to eye contact in order to come back together. I pray that she has a change of heart and not seeing coming back to me as going backwards but rather a new begining of a potentially beautiful life together with clear and open communication.

God I know I have made lots of mistakes in this relationship which I consider to be a marriage. I have written 4 letters of amends offering help and support and each time she rejected anything from me. The last time she told me not to ever contact her again signing the letter love Elizabeth. That last part God is so very confusing.

I know she is a very frightened women of finances. I also believe there is no other man in her life. If there is than please God give me the strength to let go and send me the women for this ring I am paying on. I hope to have it paid for in three months. However, if there is no other man in her life, please soften her heart and help her see that a 2nd opportunity might be a new start. Its very painful to be walled off from someone I love very much.

God please soften Elizabeth’s heart for me and to have loving thoughts of me as I have of her. There was more good in this relationship than bad. Please help her with her finances. I offered and she rejected any financial help I offered.

God hear my prayer.


Return to Marriage Prayer

Given recent events in the US, I feel it appropriate to pause from my regular posts on The Surprising God to address the shocking and divisive racial hostility erupting in many places and ways. This hostility flies in the face of all our Lord Jesus Christ stands for and, through the Spirit, is working toward in our world through his ongoing ministry of reconciliation.

Toward the goal of reconciliation (and the transformation of the heart it entails), I offer below a litany (responsive prayer) by Rich Villodas (8/2017) for the body of Christ to pray in worship.

Oh Lord, you are making all things new. Please lead us to participate in what you are doing.

A Litany for Racial Hostility in our Country

Leader : Lord Jesus, your Kingdom is good news for a world caught in racial hostility. We ask that you would give us grace for the deep challenges facing our country.

Response : Oh Lord, only you can make all things new. 

Leader : Lord, we confess our anger and our deep sadness for the hatred in our world as well as our collective sense of weakness to see this world healed through our own strength.

Response : Oh Lord, only you can make all things new.

Leader : Lord, we honestly confess that our country has a long history of racial oppression, that racism has been a strategy of evil powers and principalities.

Response : Oh Lord, only you can make all things new.

Leader : Lord, we confess that the gospel is good news for the oppressed and the oppressor. Both are raised up. Both are liberated, but in different ways. The oppressed are raised up from the harsh burden of inferiority. The oppressor from the destructive illusion of superiority.

Response : Oh Lord, only you can make all things new.

Leader : Lord, we confess that the gospel is your power to form a new people not identified by dominance and superiority, but by unity in the Spirit.

Response : Oh Lord, only you can make all things new.

Leader: Lord, we ask that you would help us name our part in this country’s story of racial oppression and hostility. Whether we have sinned against others by seeing them as inferior, or whether we have been silent in the face of evil. Forgive us of our sin.

Response : Oh Lord, only you can make all things new.

Leader : Lord we pray for our enemies. For those who have allowed destructive powers to work through them. Grant them deliverance through your mighty power.

Response : Oh Lord, only you can make all things new.

Leader : Lord, we ask that you would form us to be us peacemakers. May we be people who speak the truth in love as we work for a reconciled world.

Response : Oh Lord, only you can make all things new.

Leader: Lord we commit our lives to you, believing that you are working in the world in spite of destructive powers and principalities. Bring healing to those who are hurt, peace to those who are anxious, and love to those who are fearful. We wait for you, O Lord. Make haste to help us.

Response : Oh Lord, only you can make all things new.

When to know to stop praying for reconciliation?

praying for reconciliation

Move ahead with what Allah has Destined for you

As Salamu Haleykum brothers and sisters,

I have a question I so need advice on.
If I have been praying for something for years, if the situation doesn’t change at all, or rather looks like it is not likely to change, at one point am I supposed to not keep praying for it?

Precisely here, I have been divorced with a man (revocable divorce). I have done so many efforts in order to move on, but my heart is still with him and we have a child together. However, I keep praying but he hasn’t shown an interest in getting back together (well he did at the beginning, and now not anymore). The situation is hard on me. I can’t seem to move on and keep praying for us to get back together. The problem is the more I keep praying for us to get back together, the harder it is for me to turn the page and maybe start a new life with someone else (which I don’t really feel like right now).

Is istikharaa an option in my case?



Tagged as: Divorce, divorced, Istikhara, reconciliation, should I stop praying, talaq, want to reconcile

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