Prayers for someone who lost a child

Short, simple words of prayer provide much needed comfort and hope to all Christians, especially mothers who have lost their children. Prayers are known to be beneficial in healing anxiety and depression during times of trouble. These prayers can be said aloud, alone, for a mother or for yourself.

Prayer for Bereaved Parents

The Belief Net website is all about inspiration, spirituality and faith. It contains a specific prayer for bereaved parents that they could recite themselves or with which others could pray for the mothers who have lost their children:

“God, you sacrificed your son so that we and our children would transcend physical death. We know that you grieved when he was crucified and that you grieve over all the atrocities done by men — especially in your name. You know and understand grief as you know and understand all. You know best how to comfort these parents. Lift their hearts up to you and fill them with your peace. Your understanding is beyond our human comprehension, but give them the knowledge and faith to endure even that which they can’t understand. Let them be aware of you always God, and help them to remember that your Love is Life that can never really be taken away.”

A Mother’s Prayer to the Guardian Angels of Her Child

“The Angels” magazine’s website passes along this maternal prayer for the well-being of her children:

“I humbly salute you, O you faithful, heavenly Friends of my children! I give you heartfelt thanks for all the love and goodness you show them. At some future day I shall, with thanks more worthy than I can now give, repay your care for them, and before the whole heavenly court acknowledge their indebtedness to your guidance and protection. Continue to watch over them. Provide for all their needs of body and soul. Pray, likewise, for me, for my husband, and my whole family, that we may all one day rejoice in your blessed company.

“Amen.”

Bible Verses

Simply look to the Bible for simple verses that can create comfort in this sad situation. The following are two that are often used in time of sorrow:

“So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold — though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.” 1 Peter 1:6-7

“Those who have been ransomed by the Lord will return. They will enter Jerusalem singing, crowned with everlasting joy. Sorrow and mourning will disappear, and they will be filled with joy and gladness.” Isaiah 51:11

Prayer After the Death of a Child

Creighton, a Jesuit Catholic University, shares a prayer for mothers after the death of a child:

“My life is upside down, loving God. The order of the world is out of place and I can’t do anything to right it again. Oh, Lord, you know the pain in my heart at all times and you know why: my child has died. How can it be that my beloved child is gone? The child I cared for with such concern in every illness, the one I held close to my heart and promised to take care of for a lifetime, is not here for me to care for anymore. It hurts deeply that I wasn’t able to protect this child I love with my whole being from a death that seems so unfair.

“Let me feel calm. Let me breathe deeply. Be with me in this kind of deep and transformative pain. I now carry this darkness with me on my back and in my heart, always. It is my burden and my companion.

“Lord, there is not a single minute of my life when this loss is not etched so keenly into my brain and heart, whether it is in the middle of a busy day or in those choking moments of grief in the solitary dark of night. Let me be grateful for every minute we had together. Let me treasure those memories and find joy in them. Help me to deal with people better. They don’t know what to say. They stumble and look away when they see me. They pretend nothing has happened. I know they “don’t want to remind me” but they don’t understand it is with me always, always.

“Teach me, Lord. Tell me what you want me to do with this. What am I supposed to learn from this kind of pain? What are you calling me to do?

“Open my battered heart and lead me to comfort and peace. Only you can give me the peace I need. Let me feel your presence in my life.”

oureverydaylife.com

Finding the right words of condolences to offer the bereaved is difficult. There are no right words; there’s nothing you could say that will make the pain go away. However, there are short and simple condolence messages you can send to a grieving person.

What is a Condolence Message?

A condolence message is a heartfelt or sympathetic message you send to someone in a time of sadness, specifically, during the time of death.

When someone loses a loved one, one of the necessary things you have to do is show sympathy and the most acceptable way to show compassion is to pick out a simple, heartfelt condolence message that says conveys your sympathy and try and be there for the person as much as you can.

Things You Should Never Say to a Grieving Person

Although your condolence messages or words of encouragement might not be enough to cheer up a grieving friend, careless words could hurt them further.

Here are a couple of things to avoid saying to a grieving person or expecting from someone who is grieving.

• Don’t expect a thank you.
• Do not rationalize.
• Don’t say it is probably for the best.
• Don’t say you are not the first person to lose someone.
• Don’t say move on.
• Don’t say the deceased is in a better place.
• Don’t go making false promises.

If you are terrible at consoling people who just lost a loved one, then you will find this list of sympathy messages handy.

Short and Simple Condolences Messages

These simple words of sympathy are appropriate for situations when you didn’t know the deceased, or you aren’t close to the bereaved. For example, you are accompanying a friend to a funeral, or your co-worker lost his best friend.

If someone loses an uncle, an aunt, a friend, an in-law or even a grandparent and you did not know the deceased use the following straightforward and short words of condolence:

• “Accept my condolences.”
• “My deepest sympathy.”
• “I’m very saddened to hear of your loss.”
• “I am so sorry for your loss.”
• “My heart goes out to you in your time of sorrow.”
• “Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.”
• “My prayers are with you and family.”
• “Accept my deepest and heartfelt condolences.”
• “Accept my warm and heartfelt sympathy.”
• “I am thinking of you during this time. Please accept my deepest condolences.”

Heartfelt Condolence messages on death of husband

Losing a spouse is a painful emotional experience for anyone. When we fall in love, among the things we fear could end a relationship, death is something we never include.

The best way to offer condolences to someone who just lost a husband is to say a little heartfelt word of sympathy and offer to help out.

You can offer to pick up the children, or drop them at their grandmas’,  get some so groceries, bring them food as the family is on shutdown at such moments.

These are heartfelt condolences messages that can convey your sympathy to a friend or someone who just lost her husband:

• “I’m sorry for your loss. May God ease this painful period for you, Stay strong.”
• “Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the passing of your husband.”
• “May God bless and comfort you and your family during this difficult period, please accept my sincere condolences.”
• “My heart goes out to you and your family on the passing of your husband, father and best friend, know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.”
• “I’m sorry for your loss, with time and courage you will sail through these rough waters.”
• “I can not possibly imagine what you feel right now, let me know if there is anything I can do to ease your pain at this difficult period.”
• “I heard about the passing of your husband; I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that he was a great friend, and he will be sorely missed.”
• “I am deeply honored and blessed to have known your husband. He was blessing in my life, and I will forever carry him in my heart. Accept my condolences.”
• “I was so deeply saddened to hear of your husband’s passing. He was a wonderful man. You have my deepest sympathy.”
• “My heartfelt sympathy for the loss of your husband. I know you had a great marriage and loved him so much. I share your grief at this trying time.”

Deep condolence message on death of wife

Condolence messages on loss of wife

When a man loses his wife, it takes him time to realize just how much is about to change. Apart from your message of condolence, he could use your help with home errands such as food and in caring for the children.

These are sympathy messages for someone who just lost his wife:

• “Please accept my sincere sympathy for the loss of your wife. I share in the grief of you and your family at this sad time.”
• “I am deeply saddened by the loss of your wife. She will be truly missed, and I will include you and your family in my daily prayers.”
• “A person that departs from this earth never truly leaves, for they are still alive in our hearts and minds, through us, they live on. Surely she will not be forgotten.”
• “My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family during this difficult period. May you find the comfort and peace that you seek and may the soul of your wife rest in peace.”
• “I cannot even begin to understand what you are going through right now, but I would like to offer my prayers and condolences to you and your family.”
• “Please accept my condolences on the passing of wife. It is an honor to have known such a great person, and I will truly miss her.”
• “My heartfelt condolences go out to you and your family. I will surely miss her presence; she was a lovable and kind person.”
• ‘May the fond memories of your wife bring you comfort during this hard time in your life. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.”
• “At this trying period in your life, I pray that God will grant you the serenity and peace that you need to get through this. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.”
• “Your wife was an exceptional person and will be missed. You have my most sincere sympathy for her passing.”

Condolences message to a friend who lost his father

The loss of a father is massive.

Your message of condolences will depend on the recipient. If it is a co-worker or a friend who lost his father, a simple message of condolence is appropriate what if it is a child? That requires more finesse and empathy.

These are appropriate words of sympathy for someone who just lost a father:

• “So sorry to hear this sad news. I’m thinking of you and your family at this time.”
• “He is a great loss to all the people who know him. May his soul rest in peace.”
• “Sympathies to your family on the passing of your father. He will always be in our hearts.”
• “May I offer my sympathies to you and your family on the loss of your father, God bless his soul.”
• “Please accept my condolences on the loss of your dad. His life is an inspiration to me and many others.”
• “I may never fathom how painful this loss is for you; please be assured that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Accept my sympathy.”
• “Your father’s vision of life was remarkable. He was indeed an inspiration to us all. Please accept my condolences.”
• “I am so sorry to hear about your father’s passing. We hope that the love of family and friends will comfort and strengthen you in the days ahead.”
• “My condolences to you and your family on the passing of your father. It is never easy to lose a parent, no matter their age. I pray for your peace and comfort during this difficult period.”
• “Our condolences to you at this sad time. Your father was a wonderful man. He always had a calming effect on everyone around him. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.”

Condolence message on death of mother

“When I lost my mom, I cried until my insides hurt and my tears ran out.” – Nicholas Owen

These are some deep words of sympathy for someone who just lost a mother, if you knew the mother well enough, a short story or mention of the impact she had on you would be helpful.

• “Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the passing of your mother, know that I’m available if you need a shoulder to cry on. God bless her soul.”
• “I extend to you my deep and heartfelt condolences on the loss of your mother. I hope you find some comfort in knowing that she was a great mother to me, and she will never be forgotten.”
• “I offer you my thoughts, prayers, and well wishes during this dark time in your life. May the soul of your dear mother rest in peace.”
• “It is terrible to hear about your loss. I express my sincere sympathy to you and your family. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.”
• “I am deeply saddened by the great loss you and your family have suffered. My heart goes out to you in this trying time and may you, and your loved ones find the strength to get through this.”
• “I hope that the Lord brings you and your family the much-needed comfort and peace during this sad time. My condolences to you and your family.”
• “Losing someone we love is never easy, but we must be thankful for, the beautiful moments and memories we shared with them. Your mother was a beautiful and kind soul, and she will not be forgotten.”
• “I would like to express my sorrow and condolences to you and your family. I pray you and your family find the fortitude to bear this great loss.”
• “Once the tears have dried up, and you have said your goodbyes, what is left is the beautiful and happy memories that you shared with your mother. May you find comfort in the memories you shared with your mom, accept my sincere condolences.”
• “Please accept my condolences, know that I am here for you if you need any help.”

Condolence message on death of brother

“A brother shares childhood memories and grown-up dreams.”

Losing a brother is never easy, most times the surviving siblings wonder if there is anything they could have done and then they find something and blame themselves.

Empathy, in this case, is more important than sympathy.

It is always helpful to offer simple condolences phrases such as “There was nothing you could have done.” “It’s not your fault.”

These simple words of sympathy are appropriate for someone who just lost a brother:

• “My heart goes out to you and your family on the passing of your brother. Accept my sincere condolences”.
• “Accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your brother; he was a kind and gentle soul. God bless his soul”.
• “My thoughts are with you and your family at this hard time caused by the painful loss of your dear brother. Accept my deepest sympathy”.
• “There are no words to express my sorrow for your loss, may you find comfort in the loving memories you shared while he was alive. Accept my condolences.”
• “He can only be physically gone but never the life lived and the memories shared. Have faith and be strong, may his soul rest in peace”.
• “It’s awful and sad to hear about the sudden and painful exit of your dear brother. My deepest and sincere sympathy goes to you and your family”.
• “Every time you miss him, search in your heart, there you can feel him, be with him and embrace him. May his gentle soul rest in peace.”
• “Your brother shall forever be cherished. In our minds, he lives on. It is an honor to serve alongside your brother. My condolences to you and your family.”
• “Your brother is the kindest and bravest person I have ever met, Stay strong and know that he continues to live in our heart. My sympathies.”
• “I know there are no words to comfort you right now. If there is anything I can do to help ease your grief at this trying period, please do not hesitate to reach out to me”. My condolences to you and your family.”

Condolence messages for loss of sister

It’s easier to miss her at a cemetery, where she’s never been anything but dead than to miss her at all the places where she was alive. —John Scalzi

These are examples of words of condolences you can offer to a friend or co-worker who just lost a sister:

• “I just heard about your sister’s passing. You have my heartfelt sympathy.”
• I am very saddened to hear of your loss. Accept my deepest condolences.”
• “I’m always there in your hour of need. May her soul rest in peace.”
• “I am sorry for your loss. I am available if you need anything or if there’s anything you’d like to talk about.”
• “I know mere words aren’t enough, but I want to let you know how sorry I am for your loss.”
• “May our Lord bless and comfort you and your family during this time of grief. Please accept my sincere condolences.”
• “I am forever grateful for the opportunity to know your sister and I will surely miss her warm smile, my deepest sympathies.”
• “In this sad time, I would like to extend my heartfelt condolences to you and your family on the painful exit of your dear sister. She was so important to our world, and will never be forgotten.”
• “I am sorry to hear about your sister, she lived a fabulous life and was an inspiration to everyone who knew her. My deepest condolences.”
• “I know that you are going through a tough time, just know that I am here for you. I am truly sorry for your loss.”

Touching condolence message on death of a Child

Losing a child is like a sword through the heart a thousand times, it is death by a thousand paper cuts, and it is not uncommon for marriages to crash shortly after the death of a child.

It is a sensitive period for the parents, so it is best to keep to a simple word of condolences.

Here are ten simple condolence messages for a family that just lost their child:

• “Very saddened to hear this news. My thoughts are with you.”
• “In moments of a great ordeal, words are useless. God rest his soul.”
• “Your loss deeply saddens me, May you find the strength to get through this.”
• “In this sorrowful time, may the love of family and strength from friends comfort you.”
• “You and your family are in my prayers during this difficult period. Accept my condolences.”
• “She will always be remembered, as I will forever hold her in my heart. God rest her soul.”
• “We will never forget the image of his energetic and bright face. May God grant him eternal rest and the family the strength to bear his untimely passing.
• “I pray that your heart and soul will find peace and comfort during this difficult period. Accept my deepest condolences.”
• “My sincere condolences to your family on the immeasurable loss you suffered. Know that you are in my prayers.”
• “I can’t imagine what your family must be feeling right now, but I want you to know that I’m just a phone call away if there is anything I can do to help you get through this. My heartfelt condolences.”

Condolence message on death of mentor

These are sincere condolences message you can send to the family of a late teacher, mentor, boss, principal or any figure of authority in your life.

If you have a good memory of your mentor, you can share it with the bereaved to recognize the role the deceased played in your life.

For example,

“I will always remember the day; he met me crying in the hallway because of some trouble at home. He took me home and told me to wait in the car; I saw him have a word with my mother and from that day, my parents never fought again, well at least not in front of me.”

Stories like this can offer some comfort to the grieving family.

These are 10 condolence messages you can offer someone who lost a teacher or a mentor:

• “I was deeply saddened to hear your loss. My deepest sympathies to your family for this great loss.”
• “I pray that in this difficult time, the love of God shelters you and mend the pain as you move forward.”
• “May God put him in a special place from where he will be watching us, the people who loved and cherished him. Accept my deepest condolences.”
• “Death can never take a good man away, for, in the hearts of the people he inspired, the legacy remains and continuous throughout generations. He was a great teacher and father to many and may his soul find eternal rest.”
• “In this time of grief, your family is in my thoughts and prayers; I will forever be grateful for the impact she had on my life growing up. Please accept my deepest sympathies.”
• “I will forever cherish his leadership and guidance. I will carry him forever in my heart. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.”
• “My deepest condolences go out to your family. I will miss the presence of the truly lovable and kind person she was.”
• “May the care and love of those around you provide comfort and peace needed to get through the days ahead. My sincere condolences.”
• “It’s so sad that my great mentor is gone so soon. I pray his family finds the love and strength needed to forge ahead in his huge absence. My deepest sympathies.”
• “Accept my deepest sympathies. His dedicated tutorship and unrelenting discipline formed the bulk of my life’s foundation.”

Sincere Condolence Messages on loss of a pet

For some people, the death of a pet could sting more than the loss of a friend. I’m not making this up; some pet owners are more attached to their pets than humans.

This means when someone loses a pet, a condolence message on the loss of the pet is in order.

Here are some sample condolence messages on the loss of a pet:

• “I’m very saddened to hear of your loss. she was a cute cat.”
• “I was saddened to hear that you lost your furry family member.”
• “I am praying for you as you mourn the loss of your family member, playmate, and friend.”
• “Your dog was downright the cutest and best dog, I’ve ever seen. Accept my sincere sympathies.”
• “Accept my condolences on the loss of your pet; I know you shared many beautiful memories together.”
• “My heart goes out to you and your family as you grieve the loss of a very lovable member of your family.”
• “Losing a pet is never easy, and it reminds us the huge role they played in our lives, cherish the memories.”
• “I am so sorry for you had to put down your dog. I admire your bravery and love; you are a great pet owner.”
• “My deepest sympathy on the loss of your dog, I’ve known that dog for as long as I’ve known you, she will be missed.”
• “Accept my deepest, and heartfelt condolences on the loss of your pet, who I know is also a member of your family, may the beautiful memories of your pet, comfort you in what must be a sad period for you.”

When someone loses a pet, avoid making statements such as “You can always get another pet.” It is equivalent to telling a boy who just lost his father, your mother will remarry soon and you will no longer miss your father. Stupid right? Yes, it is insensitive, and you should never say or imply that to a pet owner.

Remember, the best condolences message is one that conveys your sympathy.

www.prisonerofclass.com

Updated on April 28, 2017

After losing my daughter to a car accident, I found some responses from others to be comforting, whereas other responses were less so.

What to Say When Someone Has Lost a Loved One

At one time or another, everyone will be in the position of needing to comfort a friend who has lost a loved one. It can be very difficult to know what to do or say. If you have never lost someone close to you, it may be hard to determine what would provide comfort.

After losing my daughter to a car accident, there were some things that comforted me and other things that actually hurt more than they helped, despite them all being well-intentioned. I do feel that after going through that experience, I can better minister to others who are going through something similar. In this article I will share some of the things that I learned in hopes that you will be able to use some of the suggestions when you are called on to comfort a friend who has lost a loved one.

Note that I am not a trained counselor or psychologist, and I have not studied the various information on death and dying, such as the stages of grief. I can only speak from personal experience and share my views after going through the most devastating time of my life.

Don’t: Say You Understand

Unless you have gone through the exact type of loss your loved one is experiencing, don’t try to tell the hurting friend that you understand. The truth is, you really don’t simply because you can’t. There’s nothing wrong with not understanding the grief but wanting to sympathize. In this case, it is far more comforting to hear “I can’t even imagine,” rather than “I understand what you’re going through,” which may come across as insincere.

It comes down to just being very honest about what you can and can’t understand but letting the person know that you acknowledge their pain at the very least.

Don’t: Ask How He or She Is Doing

Don’t ask your friend how they are doing—you can answer that yourself: they are not doing well.

This is a common thing to do and instinctively the first thing that may come to mind. While you do care and are just trying to help, this phrase does not help and puts the hurting friend in a position of saying they’re “fine” even though they are not. Alternatively they could also end up blowing up and saying something like “Of course I’m not fine,” or “How do you think I’m doing?”

When I was going through my loss, another father who had lost two daughters of his own told me to tell my friends: instead of asking me how I’m doing, ask “Are you hanging in there?” That is something I could answer truthfully, and by admitting that I was hanging in there it gave me a bit of strength. I have used this phrase many times since then when talking to friends who were going through a loss or divorce or illness, and it always brought a smile or a knowing look.

Don’t: Force Them to Talk

There are times when a grieving person needs to talk and there are times when they just need to cry. Don’t force them to talk about how they are feeling or tell them they need to “get it out.” There may come a time later that they may need to talk to a professional if they are keeping too many feelings bottled up, but right after the loss is not that time. They may need you to be with them even if they are quiet. That’s the best you can do in that case—just sit with them and let them know that you’re there by doing that.

Don’t: Tell Them They Will be Okay or That Time Will Heal the Wounds

In short, don’t use any of the cliches that are typically used such as telling them they will be okay, that time will heal all wounds, that it was just meant to be or similar such remarks. The exception to this is if it comes from someone who has truly been through the same kind of loss. For example, one mother who had lost both her son and daughter in an auto accident years earlier, came to my house the day after I got home from the hospital and looked me straight in the eyes and said, “You will be okay.” I looked at her and saw in her eyes that she had experienced the same devastating fear and pain that I was feeling and knew I could trust her. I held on to those four words for a very long time.

Personally, the hardest thing for me to hear was that time would heal all wounds or that I would get better with time. Thinking about the future without my daughter brought fear and dread. What really helped was just to have my friends acknowledge that I was in pain and that they were there for me.

Do: Show Your Feelings

Show your feelings. It’s okay to cry with them.

The Bible tells us to mourn with those who mourn. If you are hurting for them, it’s okay to cry with them. It meant a great deal for me to see tears in the eyes of my friends. While I knew they didn’t understand what I was going through, their tears meant that they loved me and that they hurt because I hurt. The tears of a friend also gave me the freedom to let it all out and not apologize or try to control my emotions when I really just needed to cry.

Do: Talk About Their Loved One

I can only speak about the loss of a child but right after the loss as well as now, it makes me so happy to hear one of my friends talk about my daughter and especially to say and hear her name.

It is normal for you to feel like you will upset the hurting friend by not bringing up the loved one or trying to make them think about something else. However the truth is that it is actually comforting to hear someone speak about the loved one. Right after my loss and even more so today, it gives me such joy to hear someone talk about my daughter and especially to say and hear her name. I’m not sure why hearing her name is so comforting but I have talked to several other parents who have also lost a child and they have reported the same thing. It may be that after losing a child, a parent has a fear of the child being forgotten. This way, she or he is kept alive and remembered through the conversation and memories.

Do: Continue to Be There for Them After Everyone Else Has Gone Back to Their Normal Life

The weeks following the accident were filled with cards, visits, phone calls but as the weeks turned into months people just normally go back to their daily life while the hurting person is still hurting and in need of those same things – cards, visits and phone calls. The first few weeks I was in shock and although I was hurting I hadn’t completely grasped the loss or the loneliness. As the brevity of the event sets in I needed those things more than ever and I am thankful for the friends who have continued to minister to me even to this day.

My Beautiful Daughter Kristi Marie Do: Contact Me If You Need Support

I have mentioned several “don’ts” in this article, and while I hate to use such a negative connotation, it’s important that you understand what may not help in this type of situation. More than anything else, I want to be honest with you so that you can really minister to your hurting friend.

If, on the other hand, you are reading this article because like me, you are going through the loss of a loved one or even a child, please know that you are not alone. Please email me if you have lost a child—the thing that helped me the most was being able to ask questions and to talk to other parents who knew the emotions that I was experiencing.

healdove.com