Rick Thyne is a spiritual mentor and old friend. Ever since that day he came to talk to our Sunday school class and some rowdy teen lodged a balled-up program at him and he caught it with one hand, never missing a beat, I’ve been putty in his hands.
He was the youth minister back then, and I was a freshman in high school. Our friendship has lasted over many years, through emails, phone calls, lunches, heart-to-heart talks and books passed back and forth.
“You’re all about Jesus,” I used to tell him. Nobody I ever knew had greater passion for Jesus. He used to read the book of Mark from beginning to end, over and over again, savoring all of Jesus’ counsel. He’s probably read it hundreds of times by now.
He’s seen plenty of joy in life and much sorrow. In all the years of saying the Lord’s Prayer, I wonder if he’s stopped and paused over that phrase, “Lead me not into temptation” or the more recent translation, “Save me from the time of trial.”
He’s seen his faith tried and tested, never more than when his 24-year-old son, Jesse, was killed in an accident in Africa while serving in the Peace Corps. Talk about a time of trial.
Jesse was the youngest child of three, an adopted sprite, musical, off-beat, earnest, ready to make his mark in life by serving the poorest of the poor deep in the damp equatorial heat of Guinea, a calling that surely honored his father’s own instinct for “the least of these.”
There he died in a horrible traffic accident in the back of a ramshackle taxi going too fast on a blind turn, hit by a truck, killed violently and instantly.
Because Rick is a man of faith, because Rick has a probing theology, because Rick prays constantly even when he’s not sure his prayers are heard, he has grappled painfully with what this all means. Where was God’s grace then?
At the graveside service for my dad, Rick offered a phrase that all of us found comforting, “Think of your dad as one of the balcony people now,” he said. Gone, but not gone. Dad was up there in a balcony someplace, looking down on us, encouraging, looking out for us, always there.
That’s something he got from going to church as a teen, and feeling the support of the congregation, especially those looking down on him from the balcony, those blessed folk who are always there.
Dare I say that Rick will always be one of my balcony people, in death and in life? Not just for the good times we’ve shared but also for the tough, trying times, and for the way he’s shared himself.
He’s written a book about those times, The Awful Grace of God. It doesn’t offer simple pat answers, but in ways that Rick might not even realize, it shows the awful presence of God.
On March 8 and 9, the Kindle edition of the book is free and the paperback is at a deep discount. (To get the discount, use code NN2Y2MHM at checkout.)
His book will always be a reminder to me of how essential it is to pray to God during the toughest times, and tell God the truth. God can’t reach out to us unless we reach out to him with what’s on our minds, even if what’s on our minds seems baffling and anger-making.
Then the grace of God works through us.
www.guideposts.org
Losing a child can be a traumatic event for the parents. Finding the right words are not easy. While nothing you may say can remove the pain away from the individuals, be sure to relay a message of strength, courage, and love. Speaking from the heart is always the best road. Start the message with dear and sign with love or our deepest sympathy. Pick whatever feels more natural to you depending upon your level of relationship with the parents. The following examples are perfect sympathy messages to use for the loss of a child.
Although it’s difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, may looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.
Although no words can really help to ease the loss you bear, just know that you are very close in every thought and prayer.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.
Extending deepest sympathy, for you in your loss. And hoping, too, that comfort and peace may come to you.
Heaven is a place nearby, so there’s no need to say goodbye. Hold on to your memories, and let them guide you during this time of sadness.
I am so sorry for your loss. I love you. Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe. You have to believe that was here for a reason and your connection could never be broken.
I feel as thought I am the blessed one to have been graced by your ’s big heart and inviting personality. It is truly the mark of wonderful parents. Every bit of my heart goes out to you during this most difficult time.
I imagine there is no pain more far reaching and deeper than losing a child. My heart and prayers go out to you at this most difficult time.
I know we never lose the people we love. They live the rest of our lives with us in our heart.
Life is not measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.
My words are not adequate to express the sorrow I feel for your loss. You son was an inspiration to everyone around him. I am so blessed and lucky to have known his beauty and I will keep his spirit alive.
No words can express the pain that you are going through and my prayer for you is that God will give you strength to face the coming days ahead without this lovely child.
The love and joy that this child brought to us all is something I will forever miss and treasure. I am very sorry for your loss.
The right words can be so hard to find. Simply know that I’m thinking of you every moment.
Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower, we will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind.
We are deeply saddened by your loss. We will cherish the memories of the times we spent together. We are with you during this time of grief.
We are truly sorry for your loss. The loss of a child is heartbreaking. Our heart aches for you and your family. was a wonderful child and he will be terribly missed.
We send you our love and heartfelt prayers that you may find the strength you need to get through each day.
Words can not explain the sorrow and pain we feel for the loss of your . will be greatly missed. With our deepest sympathy.
More than half of child mortality in the world occurs in five countries. This is primarily attributed to infectious disease, pneumonia, diarrhea, malaria, and measles. Almost 7 million children under the age of 5 have died globally in 2012. Increasing the cleanliness of water, distributing antibiotics, and increase protection measures for children can help to lower risks of death.
brandongaille.com
Memorial Funeral Poems for a miscarriage, infant, baby or child loss – A parent’s prayer
Use any of these poems for loss of a child or baby or infant. The poems can be used in the memorial program, for readings, or on thank you cards. We also have a page on dealing with grief which you may want to visit if you are dealing with the loss of a son or daughter.
Memorial Poems for Loss of A Child or Baby
A Parent’s Prayer
When a child is apart,
even for a little while,
a parent says a prayer.
We ask the Lord to protect…
to be where we cannot be,
to go where we cannot go.
In Him we place our trust,
for He sees, He knows.
Though how your heart must break,
parted for now from your little one,
know that the Lord keeps your little one safe,
with Him, where we all belong.
He will keep your child in a loving embrace,
just as He keeps you, a child, too.
That is His answer to a parent’s prayer,
that is His love —
forever, everywhere.
“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. I’ll always be with you.”
Winnie the Pooh (A.A. Milne)
Although we seem so far apart,
You’re always here within our hearts.
You filled our lives with joy and pleasure
You were to us a precious treasure.
A little while shall pass and then,
We’ll see each other once again.
Loved, remembered and held so dear,
In minds and hearts you’re always here.
Sometimes God picks a flower that’s still in full bloom.
Sometimes the flower that is chosen, we feel He’s picked too soon.
We’re at peace knowing; in God’s heavenly garden,
He has placed the ones we treasure.
You have changed our lives forever.
Teardrops
Teardrops are falling. We embrace this sad day.
A sweet little baby has just passed away.
So perfect his spirit, so perfect his love,
So perfect a gift from a Father above.
Our child, your family is grieving this day,
In our hearts God has told us why you couldn’t stay.
A spirit so special, so perfect, and pure,
should not have the trials of this life to endure.
You wanted a family, that’s why you came.
To be loved on earth, and given a name.
Then back to our Heavenly Father you went,
fulfilling the mission for which you were sent.
Although our grief is heavy this day,
we know you are happy, and not far away.
Loved ones have gathered close to your side.
Life is Eternal… you’ve really not died.
Know that we love you with all of our heart.
We’ll see you our dear one when this life we part.
Save us a place where we’ll be close to you,
and in joy we’ll embrace, as our love we renew.
by: Ron Tranmer ©
More Poems for Loss of a Child or Baby
Too Pure To Stay
At the loss of a dear sweet child
words cannot explain,
how much the heart is broken,
or how awful is the pain.
“Why doest Thou take little ones?”
I asked as I knelt to pray.
I felt His spirit telling me;
“They are too pure to stay.”
I had the warmest feeling
That my child is happy and waits,
until we are together again
past Heaven’s golden gates.
Time will reunite us.
In not too many years.
In heavens place, we’ll embrace
and joy will replace tears.
by Ron Tranmer ©
My Little Angel
You’ve just walked on ahead of me
And I’ve got to understand
You must release the ones you love
And let go of their hand.
I try and cope the best I can
But I’m missing you so much
If I could only see you
And once more feel your touch.
Yes, you’ve just walked on ahead of me
Don’t worry I’ll be fine
But now and then I swear I feel
Your hand slip into mine.
God Took Him To His Loving Home
God saw him getting tired, a cure was not to be.
He wrapped him in his loving arms and whispered ‘Come with me.’
He suffered much in silence, his spirit did not bend.
He faced his pain with courage, until the very end.
He tried so hard to stay with us but his fight was not in vain,
God took him to His loving home and freed him from the pain.
Anon
Mother To An Angel
A tiny little angel
bid a silent sweet goodbye
to a sad and weeping mother,
then flew off to heaven’s sky.
When a spirit child is perfect
there’s no need for them to stay.
They come and choose a family
then go quickly on their way.
The trials and pain of earth life
are not theirs to endure.
God knows these precious little ones
are much too good and pure.
But while here, a bond is made.
Closer than any other.
One of everlasting love
between the child and mother.
I’m the mother of an angel.
who is watching over me.
How I wish you could have stayed,
but it’s not meant to be.
For a time, my little angel,
you and I will be apart,
but until I hold you in my arms,
I’ll hold you in my heart.
Ron Tranmer©
She was so very, very special
And was so from the start
You held her in your arms
But mainly in your heart
And like a single drop of rain
That on still waters fall,
Her life did ripples make
And touched the lives of all.
She’s gone to play with angels
In heaven up above
So keep your special memories
And treasure. them with love
Although your darling daughter
Was with you just a while
She’ll live on in your heart
With a sweet remembered smile
Then the child opened its eyes, and looked up into the angel’s beautiful face, which beamed with happiness, and at the same moment they were in heaven, where joy and bliss reigned. The child received wings like the other angel, and they flew about together, hand in hand.
By Hans Christian Andersen
God’s garden has need of a little flower.
It had grown for a time here below.
But in tender love.
He took it above.
To a more favorable climate to grow.
(this would be a very nice poem to put on the plantable butterfly cards shown at the top of the page)
THE FOLLOWING POEMS/VERSES WERE RECOMMENDED BY A MOTHER WHO DELIVERED A STILLBORN BABY
Some People Only Dream of Angels…
We Held One In Our Arms
Those we have held in our arms for a little while, we hold in our hearts forever.
We have a large selection of Funeral Songs. Here are a few that are recommended for a child, baby, son or daughter: (click on link to listen and read the lyrics)
♫ Baby Mine by Bette Midler
♫ You’ll Be In My Heart by Phil Collins
♫ Borrowed Angels by Kristin Chenoweth
♫ I am Your Child by Barry Manilow
♫ Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Judy Garland
♫ Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton
♫ To Where You Are by Josh Groban
♫ Streets of Heaven by Sherrie Austin
>> See more songs and read the lyrics and listen to a snippet.
More resources: Collection of Poems, Verses, and Sayings. How to give a Eulogy.
Ideas for creating a memorable Celebration of Life:
Need more help? Our downloadable guidebook has the tips you need to plan a funeral or memorial service.
www.nextgenmemorials.com
Losing a loved one can bring about a sudden feeling of shock and trouble. Reciting a traditional prayer for comfort can help to bring you consolation and reassurance. Here is a look at some great prayers for loss of a loved one.
Prayer #1
Comfort me with Your love O God
Wrap me up in Your strong embrace
Shelter me from the storm O Lord
Envelop me in Your tender care
By day I pour out my heartbreak to You
By night I give you my racing thoughts
In You I take refuge
In You I will not be afraid
For you hold me strong, You hold me safe
Calm my fearful heart O God
Still my anxious mind O Lord
For all my life is found in You
All my being is given to You
All my hope begins in You
Prayer #2
Lord, at the moment nothing seems to be able to help the loss I feel.
My heart is broken and my spirit mourns.
All I know is that Your grace is sufficient.
This day, this hour
Moment by moment
I choose to lean on You,
For when I am at my weakest Your strength is strongest.
I pour out my grief to You
And praise You that on one glorious day
When all suffering is extinguished and love has conquered
We shall walk together again.
Prayer #3
Our Father in heaven, may Your Name be honored. There is none greater than You. You are our refuge and strength. You are always ready to help in times of trouble. We praise You, Lord. We lift our hearts with praise. It is good to sing praises to You, our God; how delightful and how right! Lord, You are great and mighty in power. Your understanding is infinite. We thank You, Father, for the life of our loved one(s) who have gone on to be with You. Thank You for their time on earth and the impact they had on our lives. We are thankful to You and we bless Your Name.
Prayer #4
Father, You can count the stars and call them all by name. Your power is absolute. Your understanding is beyond comprehension. You support the humble and bring the wicked down into the dust. You comfort those who mourn. We declare that those grieving the death of a loved one; mourning will turn into dancing. We confess that You are their rock, fortress, and Savior in whom they will find protection. You are their shield, and the strength of their salvation. Father, You are their stronghold. As they call on You, You have promised to answer. We believe that You will be with them during this period of bereavement, rescue them from grief, honor them, and give them Your salvation.
Prayer #5
Father, we ask You to send Your peace to those persons who are mourning. Continue to surround them with family, friends and loved ones who will offer words of comfort. Give them sweet and restful sleep. Father, remove the spirit of heaviness, and give them garments of praise. In due time, bless their lives to overflow with laughter and joy again. As they take refuge in You, please help them to put their trust in You. Holy Spirit, we ask that You settle the hearts and minds of those who are feeling any guilt, resentment, bitterness, or anger. Help them not to look back but to press forward.
Prayer #6
Father, forgive the bereaved for any sins they have committed through thoughts, words, or deeds. Forgive them if they have not meditated on Your Word to find comfort. Father, forgive them if they have not been totally submissive to Your perfect will for their lives. Forgive them for any hurtful things they may have said or done to the deceased. Lord, help them to forgive the deceased if necessary. Please remind them of anyone they need to forgive; and help them to forgive quickly.
Prayer #7
Loving Father, I am finding it so hard to even get up out of bed to start the day, knowing that I have to face it alone and without the one I love so dearly – I know that without Your grace and sufficiency I could never get through the day – but I thank You that You have promised to be with me and to provide me with Your strength for the day as well as bright hope for tomorrow.
I can’t imagine tomorrow being anything but a day filled with pain – as I do not have my loved one beside me, but I ask that in Your grace You will give me the strength to get through today, step by step – knowing that You are there to carry me, even when my heart seems to fail from the grief and pain that I am going through.
Thank You that You have promised to carry our pain and thank You that Your grace is sufficient for every eventuality in our lives. Give me the strength and to cope with the loneliness I feel and help me to move forward in my life-plans, knowing that You are with me, to support and strengthen.
Give me hope for tomorrow – for my hope and my trust is in You, Lord. Hold me close I pray and thank You for always being with me and the great comfort that I have in knowing You, as my own dear Saviour and friend.
Prayer #8
Loving Lord and Heavenly king, I want to lift up some dear friends of mind that are going through much grief at the moment and are finding it so difficult to come to terms with all that has taken place in the last few days…
I humbly ask that You would come to them and provide the comfort they need to come to terms with all that has happened – and the strength to face the reality that things will never be as they were.
Lord I know that their grief seems to be overwhelming them and I am hurting for them, and know not what to do to help – and so I am coming to You to in prayer, to ask that You will meet each of them at their point of need and help them to turn to You at this sad time.
I pray that as the day passes Your healing touch will comfort and succour them in this time of distress and may this be a thing that causes each of them to draw closer to You, knowing that You alone can heal the broken-hearted and bring joy out of pain.
Thank You Lord for being there for me and into Your hands I place each one of these dear ones who have such sadness in their hearts – I KNOW in Whom I believe and an confident that You will bring good out of this situation – and to You be all the praise and glory, Amen
Prayer #9
Loving Lord I am filled with grief and sadness at the loss of my precious loved one – and yet that pain is tinged with gold, knowing that they trusted you as their Saviour and that they are now in Your presence.
I know that I am going to miss this precious one, who has been my strength and my joy for so long, and thank You for the precious times we had together.
Often Lord I expect my dear one to just be there, or walk through the door – and then remember that they have gone home to be with You. At times this is quite hard and yet I know that I must not grieve as those that have not hope in Jesus – but rejoice knowing that the day is coming when we will be together with You and You will wipe away all tears from our eyes – but at the moment my loss is like an open wound – and I pray that You will heal my brokenness and the loneliness I feel… and draw me every closer into Your arms of love my Lord and my God.
Thank You for all You are to me and may I rest in You in Jesus name, Amen
Prayer #10
My heart is reaching out to you,
For what you’re going through;
I’m thinking of you frequently
And praying for you, too.
If there’s something I can do,
Anything at all,
Think of me thinking of you,
And don’t hesitate to call.
Prayer #11
When someone we love passes away,
We ache, but we go on;
Our dear departed would want us to heal,
After they are gone.
Grief is a normal way to mend
The anguish and pain in our hearts;
We need time to remember and time to mourn,
Before the recovery starts.
Let’s draw together to recuperate,
As we go through this period of sorrow;
Let’s help each other, with tender care
To find a brighter tomorrow.
Prayer #12
If we could bring you back again,
For one more hour or day,
We’d express all our unspoken love;
We’d have countless things to say.
If we could bring you back again,
We’d say we treasured you,
And that your presence in our lives
Meant more than we ever knew.
If we could bring you back again,
To tell you what we should,
You’d know how much we miss you now,
And if we could, we would.
Prayer #13
If there was ever a time in my life I was weak, it was the days, weeks, and months after my daughter died. To know that God’s strength was at it’s best when I needed it the most gave me courage to take another breath. It seems impossible to “glory in my affirmities” when you don’t feel you have the strength to go on with your life, but God’s grace *is* sufficient. There is power through Christ Jesus to sustain you when nothing else can. You must allow Him to carry the burden – there are things too big for us to handle on our own. We cannot as mothers (and fathers) get through the loss of a child and retain any sanity without His help.
I don’t think it’s wrong to ask “why” – I have many times over the years. But you have to recognize God’s authority and know that whatever purpose there was for your child, it was fulfilled during the time you carried him or her. We don’t understand all of it, and honestly I don’t believe we have the capacity to. But I take comfort knowing that one day, God will hold me close and explain it to me in a way that I can understand.
Prayer #14
Praise God that He is close to those who are suffering. He knows the pain we’re going through and He keeps us from being consumed by it. I know without a doubt that had it not been for the grace of God, I would have come through my daughter’s death a bitter and downtrodden woman. But through His love and compassion, He saved me from being crushed by the weight of the burden I carried. My heart still aches for my baby and it’s been seven years since she died – the ache has dulled some with time, but I don’t believe it will ever go away completely. I still cry at times talking about her, but I rest in the knowledge that God is near and will continue to carry me if I allow Him to. It’s a choice – a conscious decision you have to make. You have to acknowledge that you need help getting through it, and God is the only answer.
About the Author of this Blog Post Crystal Ayres has served as our editor-in-chief for the last five years. She is a proud veteran, wife and mother. The goal of ConnectUs is to publish compelling content that addresses some of the biggest issues the world faces. If you would like to reach out to contact Crystal, then go here to
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