Have you experienced having broken or wounded relationships? Do you want God to heal those relationships?
Every person is unique and created differently by God. Each of us has a distinguishing mark, quality or characteristic in our body, temperament or personality make-up, mindset, habits, inclinations, and choices. No two persons are created exactly the same even identical twins. As such, we carry ourselves differently and approach things and life accordingly.
Inside the basic unit of the society which is the family, the married couple relate to each other as husband and wife. Out of this covenantal union before God, they produce offspring. Parents relate in a certain way to children and vice versa. Depending on the spiritual maturity and character of parents, they rear, nurture, and nourish their sons and daughters in the ways they were raised up by their own parents. They have a set of beliefs, guidelines, and standards in enacting discipline and instilling good moral and spiritual values to their kids.
However, as their children reach a transition called adolescence, more often than not, they act out and rebel against their parents and family for one reason or another. Relationship between parents to children is affected. If left unresolved, the son or daughter will reach adulthood and build his own family having a wounded relationship with father or mother or both and worse yet, with other siblings.
Either the husband or wife within the marriage life will encounter problems perhaps with the health, career, finances, or personal struggles within. Relationships will be challenged as each spouse struggle to remain or leave the marriage. Divorce, legal separation or annulment is the result of marital conflicts. Each in turn re-marries repeating cycles of pattern that last a lifetime.
Relationships with relatives, in-laws, and extended families are also severed as hurting people hurt people. Causes of relational problems include the areas of money or inheritance, legal conflicts, jealousy, envy, greed, miscommunication and misunderstanding, breached confidences, gossip, slander, conspiracy, division, abuse (verbal, physical, sexual included), sickness, shame, dignity, honor, and generational /family issues.
Every individual attended school, contracted work or built up a business. Relationships developed within these spheres can also be wounded with another set of causes or reasons. It can be competition, favoritism, performance-orientation, success drive, crab mentality, violations inside contracts or mere misunderstandings among students, classmates, teachers, employers, employees, clients, and contractors.
When we step inside the church or ministry, relationships among believers, ministers and church leaders, co-workers and attendees are not also perfect. Usually inside the Christian circles, the conflicts are because of sins, judgments, accusation, condemnation, self-righteousness, spiritual arrogance, questioned integrity, controversial doctrines and disciplines and immorality, among others.
Friendships created since childhood until later age are not exempted from wounding. In fact, the most painful of all relationships is the one where lies, betrayal, loss, abuse, and desertion between friends took place. Even Jesus Himself was betrayed and left by His supposed to be loyal disciples and friends.
If you have experienced wounded relationships, there is still hope for you. God is still in the business of redeeming and restoring relationships.
The first step towards healing broken relationships is to reconcile with God by accepting His Son Jesus into your life as Lord and Savior. When He has entered your heart, He can help you heal the first relationship you need to start with—with Father God.
Get to know Him through His Word and His presence. Establish a deeper relationship with Him. When you set your heart and relationship at right with God (vertical relationship—you and God), He will fix and heal your wounded relationships (horizontal relationship – you and others)
As you commune with God day by day, He will heal your own wounds. Once you are healed and made whole, you will be able to pray about your broken relationships. Humility, sincere forgiveness, and wholehearted love are needed to be released to those who offended you and those you have hurt.
List down the names of each person and the issue or concern related. One by one through prayer, forgive, release, and declare a special blessing for each of them. Ask God also for forgiveness for your sinful reactions for their offense or sin. Remember not to blame, complain, criticize, judge, condemn, belittle, uncover, or curse them but just speak blessings to them.
Forgiveness does not depend on feelings if we want to forgive them or not but true forgiveness is an act of the will. We may truly forgive but do not force yourself to forget what happened. Do not re-live or contemplate on the painful memories. Ask God to remove the pain, trauma, shame, grief, terror shock associated with it.
You will know that you have truly forgiven if when you are reminded of the person and your heart will not throb so hard and you will not feel any agitation, irritation or untoward feelings. You will not even rehearse their litany of offenses. And when faced with that specific person, you are able to look him in the eye and feel light or normal towards him.
At this point, you need not approach each person you had problems with in the past. Allow God to change his heart and continue on praying and blessing him.
If you reached a point that you are then ready to face each person, strengthen your spirit, soul, and body and seek God’s will, heart and intention for that person. Surrender the relationship to God and He will go ahead of you to speaking to him that it is time to make right the relationship.
Like in the story of Jacob and Esau, Jacob cheated and stole the birthright and their father’s blessing from Esau, his older brother. Jacob had relationship problems also with his father-in-law, Laban. It is only when Jacob encountered God and wrestled and prevailed against God, that he was changed from being a cheater to becoming a prince of God. Even his name was changed to Israel that became the chosen nation. (Genesis 25)
Eventually, God has worked also in the hearts of Esau and Laban to reconcile with Jacob in the end.
Set your heart towards God and He will redeem your friendships and relationships. You may use this prayer for healing a relationships as a pattern—
“Almighty Creator and Father God, I humbly come before You now asking You to forgive me from all my sins. Set aright my heart towards You. I admit all my sins, weaknesses, and shortcomings, please cleanse my heart and spirit from all impurities like what You did in the heart of David in Psalm 51 when he confessed the sin of adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband Uriah. Create in me a pure heart O God, renew a steadfast Spirit within me, cast me not away from Your presence and do not take away Your Holy Spirit from me.
I respond to Your invitation for an intimate relationship with You. Teach me so that I may know Your heart and show me Your ways everlasting.
I ask You now to heal all my wounded relationships—family, extended families, friendships, and those relationships at school, work, business, church, and ministry. I forgive them ___ (mention each name and each offense) and forgive me also for all my sinful judgments and reactions towards them ____ (mention your sinful reactions for each person).
Cleanse all of us now Lord and restore our relationships. Speak to me now and to them and I entrust to You each person that You will also heal them and they will forgive me as well. I declare blessings for them ____ (mention blessings for each person) and I thank You and glorify You for all the good things they have done for me and for my benefit _____ (mention each wonderful thing from each person).
By the blood of Jesus, we are now cleansed and healed. Continue doing Your work in our hearts until you set and appointed a time for us to meet face to face and redeem the relationships.
In humility, sincerity, and purity of heart, I bow down to You in the name of Jesus of Nazareth. I worship You, praise and adore You for Your goodness and kindness to all of us. Manifest Your presence and orchestrate events so that all wounded relationships will be healed from now on.
I pray for protection for these relationships being restored that the enemy will not enter to steal, kill, and destroy and will not retaliate and do backlash to any one of us. I plead the blood of Jesus to all of us and I declare Psalm 91 over our lives.
Thank You God for hiding us under Your wings. Come quickly to save and rescue us. I love You with everything within me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
Rejoice right now as God begins to heal your being and your relationships with others. Leave us a comment below on how this prayer article ministered to you and your friends. We would love to hear from you and we will appreciate your ideas on prayers for healing you want us to include in the future in this website.
Here is a Prayer for Healing Finances
Here is a Prayer for Restoration of Marriages
Here are some bible verses on physical Healing
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Today’s Reflection
When a Relationship Breaks Down
I’ve tried everything, Lord Jesus.
I’ve tried reaching out. I’ve tried drawing back.
I’ve tried talking. I’ve tried silence.
I’ve cried, pleaded, yelled, and whispered.
I’ve prayed.
I can’t think of anything else to do.
So I give this relationship to you. I ask for nothing—no special favors, no divine interventions, no sudden revelations. I simply place the relationship in your hands.
And in giving it to you, I feel great relief. It is done. I have finally given up and accepted this ending. I know that from this moment on, my life will be different, and I accept this beginning as well.
Give me the strength to let all else go. Keep me from returning to my strivings to maintain this relationship. Remind me that I have given it to you.
Lead me to the higher ground, dear Jesus, where I can leave behind any bitterness, accusations, anger, sorrow, and pain. Fill me instead with your peace and the knowledge that you are with me.
Be in this space between the ending and the beginning. It is a scary place for me as I begin to work through my life without this relationship in it. Be between what was—the memories, the dreams, and the hopes—and what is to come.
Draw me closer to you in this time between the ending and the beginning. Let me see the place ahead not as a place to be feared but as a place you have prepared for me.
– Patricia Wilson
Quiet Spaces
From pages 212–214 of Quiet Spaces: Prayer Interludes for Women by Patricia Wilson. Copyright © 2002 by Patricia Wilson. All rights reserved. Used by permission of Upper Room Books. Learn more about or purchase this book.
Today’s Question
Do you know of a friend who would appreciate this prayer? Send it to him or her. Share your thoughts.
Today’s Scripture
May God continue to bless us; let all the ends of the earth revere him.
Psalm 67:7, NRSV
This Week: pray those diagnosed with cancer. Submit your prayer to The Upper Room Living Prayer Center or share it in the comment section below.
Did You Know?
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Saints, Inc.:
This week we remember:
James the Less. (May 3).
Lectionary Readings
(Courtesy of Vanderbilt Divinity Library)
- Acts 16:9-15
- Psalm 67
- Revelation 21:10, 22-22:5
- John 14:23-29
Sponsored by Upper Room Ministries ®. Copyright © 2013, a ministry of GBOD | PO Box 340004 | Nashville, TN 37203-0004 | USA
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I’ve been extremely reflective in regards to some recent relationships that have gone awry.
I have been unconstructively ruminating over offensive situations, to the point where I have had consecutive nights of vivid dreams about loved ones who I no longer share a healthy relationship with.
My sub-conscious has been speaking to me.
I’ve wondered, “why can’t I just get this person out of my head?” I’ve searched my heart to check if there was some residue of unforgiveness still left in me for these people. And I can truly say there is not.
So I continue to pray for my loved ones who I need to love from a distance. But I can truly say there has been an unsettling feeling that I’ve gotten because of that. And it dawned on me today why I have felt unsettled.
I realized that I have felt unsettled, not because I was harboring unforgiveness or because God was prompting me to reconcile, but simply because I have been rejected. Rejected by people who I have loved well, who I have prayed fervently for, who I have honored with my love. It is one thing to be rejected by an outsider, or a job; it is another thing to be rejected by family or people who vowed to love you as such.
God spoke to me about this rejection while I was doing a simple, mundane task– as He so often does. I was pruning my house plants. I went to get my scissors to chop off the dead parts of my plants. As I was pruning one particularly, large plant, the dead parts began to simply fall away at my touch. I did not even need my scissors. And God said to me, “only things that are dead can fall away so easily.”
That gave me tremendous peace. I realized that it wasn’t so much that I was mourning healthy ties that I desired to keep. I knew these relationships were fragile, unhealthy, and one-sided.
I was more so offended that people opted to fall away from me. God reminded me that relationships that are ordained by Him, that are healthy, and conducive to my Spiritual Walk, will not so easily wither and fall away.
If you are having trouble maneuvering through hurt feelings, I encourage you to lift up this prayer that is helping me:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for Your love. Thank You for teaching me how to love.
I thank You for all the good, healthy, loving people you have placed in my circle–both birth family, and chosen family.
Lord, help me pray for those who have not loved me well. Give me Your Peace, as I learn who I need to love at a distance to safeguard my heart and my well-being.
Help me get passed the offense and help me to love in spite of.
Give me the grace to forgive. The wisdom to know when to reconcile. And the willingness to find closure in the absence of an apology.
Thank You for reminding me that every person who does not love me well, only gives me a greater capacity to love others better.
In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
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Whether you saw it coming or not, a break up is never easy. In fact, more times than not, a break up can cause you to question everything in your life. You may find yourself questioning whether you’re good enough within other aspects of your life that you normally would be confident in. If you allow it, rejected feelings endured from a break up can send you into a state of depression. Even though everyone around you is telling you that it’s going to be okay, your heart is uttering something different. However the reality, even though it may not feel like it, is that one day you will be able to put the pieces back together and feel whole again.
While you’re mourning your relationship, turn to prayer to move on after a break up. You’ll discover a newfound view on relationships; moreover, you’ll discover a closer bond with your relationship with your Lord and Savior as well. Psalm 34:18 represents the Lord’s love for you as His child. The scripture says, “The Lord is near to those who are discouraged; He saves those who have lost all hope.” More than ever, the Lord is listening to your words and striving for you to see that. You may be asking yourself, “Why is God allowing me to hurt?” As a child of Jesus Christ, it’s imperative that you understand every instance in your life has a meaning – ultimately, there is a lesson to be learned. God’s plan is reiterated in Jeremiah 29:11, “I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.” Everything will eventually make sense and that moment of awe is right around the corner.
The worst thing that you can do, while going through a break up, is to allow yourself an indefinite period of self-pity. It’s understandable to be heart broken and sad; however, it is inexcusable to allow the sorrow to take over your life. Without pain, you would never truly appreciate the glories of life and the feeling of true love. Try this prayer – you’ll find that the wise words cover the array of feelings and emotions you’re experiencing.
Lord, thank You for being You and for Your willingness to be here with me during this time. It’s been difficult lately with this break up. You know that. You’ve been here watching me and watching us together. I know in my heart that if it was meant to be it would have happened, but that thought doesn’t always mesh with how I feel. I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m disappointed.
You are the one I know I can turn to for comfort, Lord. Provide me with reassurance that this was the right thing for me in my life, as it is right now. Lord, show me that there are so many great things in my future, and offer me solace in the thought that You have plans for me and that one day I will find the person that fits with those plans. Assure me that You have my best intentions in mind, and while I don’t know what all of those intentions are, this wasn’t a part of them. That one day you’ll reveal someone new that will make my heart sing. Allow me the time to get to that point of acceptance.
Lord, I just ask for Your continued love and guidance during this difficult time, and I pray for the patience of others as I work through my feelings. Every time I think of the happy times, it hurts. When I think of the sad times, well, that hurts, too. Help those around me understand that I need this time to heal and work through that pain. Help me understand that this, too, shall pass for me. That one day the pain will become less, and remind me that You’ll be there right with me the whole time. Though I may have difficulty letting go, I pray that You surround me with people that help me through and lift me up in prayer, in love, and in support.
Thank You, Lord, for being more than just my God in this moment. Thank You for being my Father. My friend. My confidante, and my support. In your Name, Amen.
Break ups are the furthest thing from easy. Use this time to reevaluate who you are what you want to be as an individual. Assess things from a different lens, by identifying where you are in life and where you want to be. Most times, when you’re in a relationship, an individual makes decisions around their partner. While this understandable, it’s’ important to identify what you really need and want out of life – make sure you’re striving to achieve happiness for you and not someone else. As odd as it may sound, learn to embrace this difficult time and look for ways you can cultivate a stronger bond with your Lord and Savior through prayer. Accept that you will need to be patient and learn that time will heal all wounds.
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