photo credit: Rob Gonyea
Kelli is guest blogging today with an encouraging article reminding us that Satan seeks to destroy marriages. We need to pray everyday for our husbands! I really like the symbolism she used of “holding the lantern” to help her husband find his way! We are the light of the world and a light for our spouse!
“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” – Matthew 5:14-16
It has been two years this past February that my life was turned upside down. Two years this summer that it all blew up and two years this summer that God put all the pieces back together again.
My husband and I had been married for 16 years and I thought we had a pretty great marriage. What I didn’t know was that I had lost touch. You know, life, it gets in the way. I was laying in bed watching TV one February night and my husband said, “I think we need to go see a counselor…about us.”
I was blindsided. I had no idea things were not as perfect in his mind as they were in mine. I tearfully agreed. We went to a counselor and things seemed to get better….I thought. The summer months quickly came, life continued to get in the way. Then there were the phone calls and the texts….from her. I realized then that this was greater than me, bigger than anything I could fix, and I needed help.
I loved my husband more than anything and was not ready to hand over my marriage to Satan. So after the initial shock and anger and feelings that I could never forgive him… it happened. I was alone one day in the house and I began to pray about my marriage. I felt hopeless. I wanted to be angry at my husband. I didn’t want to forgive, but I heard that still small voice say to me, “But I forgave you.”
And that is when the change started happening….not with my husband but with me. Not only had life gotten in the way of my marriage but it had gotten in the way of my relationship with my first love – Jesus. So I began to work on this relationship first. As I did that, my attitude changed. I became a fierce warrior, fighting Satan for my husband’s heart.
I began to pray for him many, many times a day. When I was alone in my car I’d pray out loud for him. I prayed that God would lead my husband’s heart back to me and to our nine year old daughter. I cried and poured out my heart to Jesus many times. I asked Him to forgive me first. There were many discussions between my husband and I during this time. We discussed him leaving. I told him that wasn’t what I signed up for. I signed up for better or for worse….leaving wasn’t an option.
So he stayed. I prayed.
I prayed that God would ALWAYS be my mouthpiece. And He was. He gave me the words to say.
I told my husband one time that I would always be holding the lantern for him waiting for him to come home to me and to our daughter.
I prayed that God would “shut the lions mouth” as far as this other woman was concerned and He did. I don’t believe that my husband was ever physically unfaithful. I do believe there was emotional unfaithfulness though. And it hurt. But when it hurt I’d remember that still small voice and I would try to forgive again.
I had prayer warriors too – people that were close to me praying for my husband. I didn’t tell too many people because I always wanted to protect my husband, but I needed help in praying for him and I needed people to pray for me too.
One Sunday late in June I was at the grocery store after church and I got a text from my husband. It simply said, “I’m home.” I text back, “I know. I just left you at home – silly.” He text back, “No. I mean I’m REALLY home.” Needless to say, all the shopping didn’t get done that day. God healed our marriage. Today it is better than ever.
Did I do everything right? No.
Do I still get worried sometimes? Yes.
We continued counseling a few more times. I believe that Satan is out to destroy every single marriage that he can. But God is out to save every single marriage that He can. My husband is changed. I am changed.
We both realized – thank God – that if we wanted our marriage to be healed and better than ever that we needed to make Christ the center of our lives and our marriage. I pray every day for a hedge of thorns around our marriage. I also pray regularly for all the other marriages out there that Satan is seeking to devour. I will always, always hold the lantern for my husband when he loses his way, and now I know that he will also be holding that lantern for me.
– Kelli Wilson
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My 3-year-old daughter prays for her husband every single day. She is always talking about her wedding and even gets on one knee to propose to her dad (and to me!). Her little face lights up with the question: Will you marry me?
She’s so absolutely adorable, and it provides for many teaching moments about how marriage and family works. This stage of “I want to marry my dad” and “I want to grow up to be mom so I can marry dad” is a new and bittersweet experience because I was a single mom when Elisha and Elyssa were this age and they didn’t have a father figure.
So although praying for my husband is something I already do on a regular basis, my Little Pige has inspired me to pray for him more earnestly, and to say prayers that will bless him in every area of his life. I want my marriage to always be strong and I want us to grow closer together and to enjoy one another.
Whenever I pray for him, I develop a thankful heart toward him and I am more able to see his support, his patience, and his willing heart. Whenever I pray for him, he changes, because I change the way I see him. As Dr. Wayne Dyer used to say: “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.“
So this month, I challenged myself to pray for my husband all month in a specific way. It’s not too late for you to join me in the challenge. If you can squeeze in five more minutes, I encourage you to also journal about the experience.
I pray that my husband will grow spiritually, discover and multiply his gifts and talents, and pursue daily rituals that will help him cultivate his divine nature, purpose, and identity.
I pray that my husband will increase in knowledge, great wisdom, understanding, perspective, and insight. I pray that he keeps a sober mind so he can make wise decisions that bring him happiness and peace.
I pray that my husband will be quick to recognize paths that don’t serve him and humble and teachable enough to switch to be in alignment with the right course.
I pray that my husband will develop his leadership skills, so he can be a successful man, husband, and father, and can be a source of protection, guidance, and provision for everyone in his stewardship.
I pray that my husband will have the courage to safeguard his heart and honor his wedding vows. I pray that he is unmovable in his commitment, loyalty, and fidelity to our relationship.
I pray that my husband will stand for what is right, act with integrity, and stay true to his standards. I pray that he will have the strength to speak up, with firmness and clarity, and that his words will inspire others to respect his convictions, his beliefs, and his faith.
I pray that my husband will serve people cheerfully and from his heart. I pray that he is generous, loving, respectful, compassionate, empathetic, and comes to each interaction with pure motives.
I pray that my husband will be diligent, honest, and enthusiastic in his responsibilities. I pray that he is blessed with the skills, knowledge, and attributes that will help him prosper and find enjoyment and fulfillment in each task he performs.
I pray that my husband’s mind will be illuminated with discernment to priorities in his life. I pray that he has the bravery to forsake any distractions that may be sabotaging his ability to achieve what he desires.
I pray that my husband will be safe and free from harm and danger. I pray he is watchful in every step he takes.
I pray that my husband finds physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength, as well as perspective in hardships, challenges, and persistent issues he may face. I pray he has an increasing capacity to access his inner power, so he will not be discouraged, not fear, or dismay.
I pray that my husband will actively seek to understand the ways I receive love and to clearly express the ways he wants me to love him. I pray we can foster an atmosphere of genuine intimacy and continue to pursue each other with respect, admiration, and the magic of romance.
I pray that my husband will speak words that build himself and those around him. I pray that he strives to purify his thoughts and that he is able to eloquently and lovingly communicate them.
I pray that my husband will be an example to others who cross his path. That his life would be a reflection of who his Heavenly Father wants him to be, and that he can impact our posterity in a positive way.
I pray that my husband is surrounded by godly men that he can mentor and can mentor him. I pray that he will be a good influence and be influenced only by goodness. I pray that his friendships are strong and carefully chosen, and they can bring growth and joy into his life.
I pray that my husband will choose healthy, holy, and honorable activities that he is passionate about. I pray that he experiences freedom, temperance, and self-mastery in all of his personal habits.
I pray that my husband will be quick to forgive himself for his mistakes and can reconcile with those he has wronged. I pray he can humbly learn from each experience, so he can move forward in a positive direction.
I pray that my husband will discover and follow his God-given purpose. I pray that he can wake up excited to live a life he loves every day.
I pray that my husband will be blessed with mindfulness, balance, and peace. I pray that he can cultivate a calm attitude, and harness his emotions in a healthy and purposeful way.
I pray that my husband feels loved, respected, trusted, honored, and appreciated. I pray that he is able to see each gesture, each word, and each act of service as a gift to him and to be open to receive it fully and with gratitude.
I pray that my husband can be clothed with confidence. I pray that he smiles and laughs each day. I pray that his light can be contagious so others can be uplifted by his joy.
I pray that my husband can have dreams, goals, and aspirations for his future. I pray he can feel deserving of life in abundance and that his steps can be directed toward the prosperity God has in store for him.
I pray that my husband will be a loving, caring, and affectionate father who will guide his kids and teach them with light and truth. I pray that he can discipline them with gentleness, boldness, and in unity with me.
I pray that my husband can manage finances with discernment and wisdom. I pray that he will be a self-reliant steward and a visionary partner with regard to money, and that he will keep an eternal perspective in temporal matters.
I pray that my husband will be focused on unity and will be relentless in his pursuit of oneness with me and our daughters. I pray for agreement, clarity, and compromise in all our family meetings.
I pray that my husband will be strengthened in his fears, doubts, inadequacies, worries, and insecurities. I pray that he is empowered and enabled to withstand pressure, and that he is equipped to be mentally stable during struggling, overwhelming or stressful times.
I pray that my husband is diligent in taking care of his body, and in maintaining his own welfare, wellbeing, and holistic health. I pray for healing, endurance, and patience with any disease, or discomfort that he may experience.
I pray that my husband treats every live being with empathy, kindness and respect. I pray that he can see each person as a son or daughter of his Heavenly Father, and embrace and celebrate their uniqueness.
I pray that my husband has faith that everything will work together for his good and to acknowledge God’s Hand in everything that happens in his life.
I pray that my husband can humbly forgive when he feels wronged. I pray he can let go of bitterness, resentment, and unresolved conflicts that burden him. I pray that he can be held, healed, and restored in his brokenness and unsettled pain.
I pray for my husband’s weaknesses. I pray that he can become self-aware and continues to pray for strength and to work on himself. I pray that he can use his weaknesses to grow closer to his Heavenly Father and fortify his testimony.
I am grateful that my daughter taught me this lesson in praying for my husband. It’s already been an enlightening experience as I see my will yield, my expectations grounded, and my emotions settled.
You can start the “praying for my husband challenge” any day of the month, and do it at your own pace. The last thing I want is for us to have yet another thing we’re going to beat ourselves up about. Just pick it back up and start when you left off.
Do you pray for your husband or say daily affirmations about him? I’d love to hear how you believe that your positive words and intentions can transform our marriage.
© Elayna Fernández ~ The Positive MOM
I’ve never really been into that phrase.
“I’m waiting for my man to come home.” “So proud of my man.” “Enjoying some time with my man.”
It’s a Facebook status favorite.
It’s just not my favorite, not my personal style or verbal inclination.
But still this is truth.
The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife (1 Corinthians 7:4 NIV).
Mine. Joined to me and fused into me so strong that blows to him suck the breath right out of me and the way he smiles on the good day is my joy, too.
He’s my blessing, this gift. Mine to treasure, to enjoy, to love.
But gifts aren’t just enjoyed; they are watched over, cared for, tended, and kept safe. God entrusted him to me.
He’s mine to respect, listen to, encourage, fill up and build up, support and to stand by.
And mine to pray for.
Stormie Omartian wrote, “Prayer is the ultimate love language” (The Power of a Praying® Wife, p.29).
Here are 12 of my favorite verses to pray for my husband:
- A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones (Proverbs 12:4 NIV).
Lord, help me to be a godly wife, an encouragement and support to him. Show me how to love him and help me to see him with your eyes. Forgive me for my mistakes and failings and help me be a better wife every day.
- Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength (Mark 12:30 NIV).
God, draw my husband closer to You each day and stir in him a passion for You and Your Word.
- Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me (Psalm 51:10 NIV).
Create in my husband the desire for purity. Help him to hunger and thirst for righteousness and give him the steadfast spirit, the strength, and the discipline to choose what is right and godly. When he is tempted, help him to overcome and to run closer to you.
- But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
Show my husband how to balance the priorities and stresses on his shoulders. Help him always to place You first and then allow every area of his life to fall into place as a result.
- Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV
Help my husband trust in You and submit to You in all ways. Make his path straight. Show him where to step and how to walk in obedience. Renew his faith even in the tough times and the dark places. Remind him of Your presence with Him and the way You have gone before him.
- If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you (James 1:5 NIV).
Fill my husband with Your wisdom so that in all things, in every situation, he will know Your will.
- Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up…Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm…Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NIV)
Strengthen our marriage daily. Unite us as a team that cannot be broken. Show us how to love one another selflessly, to communicate, to show affection, to work together and always to honor You in our relationship. Teach us how to forgive and give us opportunities to laugh and find joy together. Defeat any attempt by Satan to divide us with anger, bitterness, infidelity, divorce…
- Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4 NIV).
Father God, be with my husband as he parents our children. Help us be in agreement as we care for and discipline them and attempt to “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Give him wisdom and compassion, fairness and grace, strength and sensitivity.
- Let love and faithfulness never leave you…Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man (Proverbs 3:3-4 NIV).
Make my husband’s godly character shines in every situation. Give him favor with You and with man, especially in the work place. Protect his reputation and allow his life to be a witness to those around him.
- May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us– yes, establish the work of our hands. Psalm 90:17 NIV
Establish the work of his hands. Let it be successful and fruitful labor, well-rewarded and recognized. Help him overcome obstacles and solve problems with creativity and wisdom. Reveal solutions to him. Protect him from mis-steps and bad decisions.
- The Lord was with Joseph so that he prospered…the Lord gave him success in everything he did, Genesis 39:2-3
Just as you blessed the work of Joseph, bless the work of my husband. Let everything he touches be successful and prosperous. Prosper his business/company because he is there.
- But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin (1 John 1:7 NIV).
Give my husband friendships with godly men. As he walks in the light, give him this “fellowship with one another” so that he doesn’t walk alone, but is strengthened and encouraged by other men of God.
In Jesus’ name….Amen.
If you would like a printout of these prayers to place in Your Bible or journal or maybe on your fridge or bathroom mirror, you can click here for the free printable!
You can also check out 14 Days of Prayer for Your Marriage With 1 Corinthians 13 and grab that free printable resource, too!
Heather King is a wife, mom, Bible Study teacher, writer and worship leader. Most importantly, she is a Christ follower with a desire to help others apply the Bible to everyday life with all its mess, noise, and busyness. Her upcoming book, Ask Me Anything, Lord: Opening Our Hearts to God’s Questions, will be released in November 2013! To read more devotionals by Heather King, click here.
Copyright © 2013 Heather King