A prayer for love has to be something you do no a regular basis. Love and relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives, because our relationships will either lift us up, or tear us down.
Yet praying for love tends to be something that we don’t often do. Maybe we’re afraid to go to God with our love life. Maybe we’re getting discouraged that our prayers aren’t being answered. Or maybe, just maybe, we don’t know how to pray for love.
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Prayer For Love Vs. Worry About Love
It took me a while to grasp how to pray for love. Because I’ve always had a tendency to think about love, and worry about love, rather than pray about it.
I’m quick to analyze, figure out, and try to put the pieces together. But it takes me a while to turn to prayer.
I’m realizing that my tendency to over-analyze is the opposite of what God’s word tells me to do. All through Scripture Jesus is challenging us: Don’t just dwell on things, pray about them.
Prayer is the act by which we mentally hand over our problems, concerns, fears, desires, and dreams to someone who actually has the power to control.
And it makes so much sense, because if we’re going to allow these things to fill our brain, we are better off doing it in a way that has the power to impact the things that are weighing us down, rather than simply allowing them to consume us.
If you find yourself consumed by your love life – or lackthereof, here are some ways to mentally and prayerfully hand those things to the One who can actually do something about it. Here are 8 ways to pray for love.
Pray Like This: 8 Prayers For Love
#1: Pray that God would give you a relationship (Matthew 7:7)!
God’s word challenges us to ask and bring our needs before God. Anything and everything. As long as our hearts are aligned with His, there are no limits on what we can ask. What are your deepest needs and desires when it comes to a relationship? What do you need God to do in your relationship? Let Him know.
#2: Pray that He would grant you patience and insight to wait for a good one (Isaiah 40:31).
Waiting on God is never easy, because once again, it is a reminder that we are not in control. But through the time of waiting, ask God to change you, nourish you, and fill you so that you are empowered and prepared to take the next steps when the timing is right.
#3: Pray that He would be working out anything unhealthy in your life (Jeremiah 33:8).
Some of our baggage and sin we can recognize, and some we can’t. As you seek to enhance your love life, be sure to ask God to help you recognize and heal all the things in your life that aren’t lining up with His best. Seek to get to the bottom of your sins, and ask for His healing power to be at work in your life.
#4: Pray that He would shape your heart for nourishing interactions with others (Colossians 3:12-14).
It’s important to learn how to love, rather than simply longing to be loved. When your heart is open to loving and edifying others the way it was meant to, your relationships will be enriched and empowered.
#5: Pray that He would bring healing into your past so that you are free to embrace the present (Philippians 3:13-14).
We are called to move forward, and forget what is behind. Sometimes, it’s easy to get stuck on our past and be paralyzed from living in the present. No matter what kinds of things your past may hold, ask God to be at work in your past so that you are free to live in the moment and embrace your present.
#6: Pray that He would protect your emotional world and give you wisdom of how to set healthy boundaries (Proverbs 4:23).
I talk a lot about guarding our hearts and how to practically do that, but how often do we actually pray about our hearts and emotional worlds? God longs to be a part of our emotions just as much as our spiritual life. He is a holistic God, who longs to interact with our mind, body, and soul. Give Him a chance by opening your emotional life to Him through prayer.
#7: Pray that He would open your eyes to the joy of doing sex His way (Hebrews 13:4).
It’s so easy to focus on what we can’t do before marriage, and end up harboring bitterness and resentment. But what if we were to ask God to open our eyes to doing life His way? What if we were to plead with Him to download His heart onto ours, so that we could truly understand what is best for our lives? Rather than struggling with His plan, let’s ask Him to reveal His heart to ours, particularly in the area of sex and sexuality, so that we can be freed to trust Him without bitterness or regret. (More on this in Chapter 8 of True Love Dates)
#8: Pray that God would be the focus of your life now and forever (Psalm 37:4).
At the end of the day, no matter how we view it, there is no gift that is greater than the Giver. Whether we feel that or not, it doesn’t cease to be true. May we continue to bring this request before God, so that He can turn our hearts to Him as our greatest delight and desire, because perspective has the power to change everything.
This week, rather than focus on your problems, worries, or what you don’t yet have, focus on what you do have: a direct line to the One who controls all things, including your precious heart. It’s time to actually do some real work in the area of our love life and relationships instead of wasting our mental energy away. It’s time to pray for love.
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DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!
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I remember the weeks and months surrounding Valentine’s Day – particularly during my time as a single woman. Walking through the stores, you notice that the string of lights and row of trees have been replaced by red hearts, chocolates and flowers. Couples seem to be everywhere – holding hands, sharing flirtatious glances, and sneaking in passionate kisses. The sting of being alone can seem even harder to handle when everywhere you look love is in the air – except the air you’re breathing.
I remember praying a lot when I was single. At least I called it prayer. But in reality it was, more or less, venting. I would cry out to God in my frustration. When would it be my turn? When would he send me love? How much longer did I have to feel alone? I wasn’t there to discuss the matter with him, I was there to tell him what I wanted. he needed to know.
Looking back at my time as a single I see God’s grace all over my story, and the path he had paved for me. But there are so many things I know now, that I didn’t know then. If I could go back to those discussions with God, I would spend less time venting to him and more time listening. I would have invited him to shift my heart and open my eyes to what he was doing. If I knew then what I know now, here’s what I would have prayed:
1. Pray for Trust. One way I would have prayed differently is asking God to help me trust him more. We talk a lot about trusting God in the Christian life, but do we do it? I know I said I trusted him, but deep down I was afraid that maybe he couldn’t be trusted – that maybe he needed a little advice and direction about my life. As I look back, I see how much I missed out on life because I was worrying, analyzing, and planning, instead of resting in assurance of his perfect plans. The mark of trust is believing that God’s plans are so much better than anything we could come up with on our own – and believing that he is good. Trust is a necessary skill when it comes to finding love. If we’re unable to trust a perfect God, how much harder will it be to trust the fallible human being he one day places in our lives? I had so much to learn about trust back then, and so much I’m still learning.
2. Pray for Fulfillment. Deep down there was a part of me that believed I would feel fulfilled in the arms of my spouse. But if I knew then what I know now, I would have sought to be filled while standing alone. While there are so many things a healthy relationship can do, there are so many things it can’t. It can’t bring purpose, security, or healing. It can’t bring ultimate joy or perfect contentment. I would have prayed to rely on God more and more each day, because I would have known that a life that is filled to the brim will eventually overflow that kind of love onto the people God brings it’s way. I would have asked God to fill me with more of him, instead of simply asking him for things that could never actually fill me up.
3. Pray for Discernment. I made many poor choices as a single. Partly because I didn’t really trust God, and partly because I allowed life to just happen. There were so many doors I shouldn’t have walked through, and so many doors I should have slammed shut. Instead, I lived in the mentality of “whatever happens, happens” and “maybe it’s meant to be.” What I didn’t realize is that God grants wisdom to those who want it. He gives us the ability to choose right from wrong, and to make healthy choices even when life offers us unhealthy options. I would have prayed for more discernment as I made choices in my life and relationships, rather than letting my life and relationships control me.
4. Pray for Healing. We don’t spend very much time looking in when we’re focused on finding a relationship. In my book, True Love Dates, I call this process “dating inward.” And I truly believe it’s one of the most important steps in finding love. We get so fixated on what we want in a relationship that we fail to focus in on who we are and what God is doing in us. If I could go back, I would have asked God for more healing as I examined all the inner-workings of my life. I would have addressed my insecurities, my fears, and my selfishness. I would have asked him to heal the parts of my life that only he could. What I didn’t always understand was that the best relationships are made up of two healthy people. I would have started working on me while standing alone.
5. Pray for Love. It’s so important to pray for love. God made us for relationships; we’re wired that way. But rather than be so consumed with finding love, I would have asked God to help me experience more of his love. What I didn’t know then is that knowing God’s love is the greatest way to understand earthly love – and to learn to love yourself. There is so much I could have learned about love as a single, by allowing God’s unconditional love to penetrate my life and my relationships. I would have asked him to help me receive more of his love in my life, because at the end of the day, the definition of true love can only begin there.
So many times we seek God in prayer with our “list.” We assume that prayer is for him, and is our chance to tell him what we want and need. While there is value in that, even more so it’s important to understand that prayer is actually for us. As much as God wants to give us the desires of our heart, more so, he wants to change our heart. To fill it with love, trust, and wisdom. To pour down fulfillment, peace, and faith and make it more like his. And when our hearts are truly aligned with his, we’re destined to experience life abundant – no matter what our relationship status.
Debra K. Fileta is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in Relationship and Marital issues. She, her husband and two children live in Hershey, PA. She is the author of the new book True Love Dates (Zondervan, 2013), challenging young men and women to do dating in a way that is psychologically sound, emotionally healthy and spiritually grounded. Visit www.truelovedates.com and follow her on Twitter to get your dating questions answered and to learn more.
Publication date: February 11, 2014
www.crosswalk.com
Prayer is one of the most selfless and amazing things you can do for a person, especially someone that you love dearly. It is a way of being grateful and thankful for that special someone or a group of people you love to be with you. It is about taking out your time and focuses your energy and prays for the blessings of God on their behalf.
Oftentimes, when people pray, they will pray for things that they desire. They ask God for help, give them love, guidance, etc., just like a wish list. Take a step back from that and pray for someone else is not only taking you out of the center of attention, but also giving that person to God. When you pray for someone, you are performing a selfless act of hoping someone will be better, healthy, happy, and always be blessed. Not many people are willing to pray for other people. However, things can be a little different when it comes to people you love. We are willing to sacrifice and do something more for the ones that we love.
If you love a man, your boyfriend, your partner, fiancé, husband, significant other, pray for him. It is the best gift that you can give and the best thoughts you can have for him. If you love your children, pray for their safety as well as their wisdom. Your knowledge and tips will be incomplete, but God knows their situation and will bless him with the wisdom to navigate their lives. If you love your parents, pray for them and tell them that you love them all the time. Pray for your relationship that your parents will be blessed by God.
Whatever your situation, include prayer. Praying is not the only thing that you can do for your lover, but also your family members, your parents, your children, your friends, your neighbors, and also the people in this world.
So now that you know who you should pray for, but how are you going to do it? Here are a few good suggestions for you.
Suggestions
1. Pray that God will give you a relationship.
God’s word challenges us to ask and brings our needs before God. When your heart is in harmony with His, there are no limits on what you can ask. When it comes to a relationship, what are your deepest needs and desires? Let God knows and prays with your heart. Even if you are single or when you need a listening ear, just pray sincerely and God will send His blessings to you.
2. Pray that God will grant you patience and insight to wait for the right person.
Things may not happen immediately right after every prayer. Sometimes, God is planning for someone better to come into your life, you will never know because God always has a better and bigger plan for you. After your prayer, have the patience to wait for miracles to occur. And during the time of your wait, ask God to change you, nourish you, and fill you so that you are empowered and prepared for whatever that God has planned for you.
3. Pray that God will be working to rid anything unhealthy in your life.
Sometimes, we can notice the sin that we made, but sometimes we simply can’t. And as you seek to enhance your love life, make sure to ask for God’s help to recognize and heal all the unhealthy things in your life that are not in alignment with His best. It can be because of your bad habit or your negative characters that people do not want to be around you. So pray to God and seek to get to the bottom of your sins and ask for His healing power to be at work.
4. Pray that God will shape your heart and nourish interactions with others.
In life, you will notice that some people seem to have the charisma and everyone loves to be around him or her. On the other hand, there will be someone that people hate to be around with and they will do everything to avoid being with that person. Thus, pray for God to open your heart to loving and edifying others the way it was meant to. Pray God to enrich your relationships and for you to learn how to love and not just being loved.
5. Pray that God will bring healing to your past so that you can embrace the future.
One of the most important keys to a loving relationship, regardless of whether it is with your significant others or your family members, is to let go of the past. It is easy to get stuck in the past and unable to let go. When you are paralyzed by your past, you cannot move forward to a better future. Even when you have a great lover who is willing to spend the rest of her life with you, if you are stuck in the past, the relationship may suffer because of what you hold on to. Therefore, pray and ask God to relieve you from your past, allow you to let go and move forward in life for a better and more loving relationship.
6. Pray that God will protect and you emotional guidance.
You can pray for anything because God is almighty and hence, pray for Him to protect your emotional world and guide you through tough times when you most needed it. Love is a journey with ups and downs. When people fail in their relationship, whether it is a love relationship or a friendship, mainly it is because they do not know how to manage their emotion and let their emotions cloud their head. So pray for God to guide you for a healthy interaction in all of your relationship.
7. Pray that God will bless you with a great love life.
At the end of the day, you want to ask for God’s blessings in your relationship, especially your love life. It is impossible for us to control other people to live up to our expectation and become who we want them to be. You cannot control your lover to be like what you desire because everyone is unique and different. Thus, it is best to pray for God to bless you with a great love life rather than trying to change those who are around you to become who you expect them to be.
What If Someone You Love is Stuck in Sin?
The above are the suggestions of how you can pray for someone you love. Now, what if someone you love is stuck in sin and you would like to help him or her, but you have no idea what you can do? Turn to God and ask for His help. It is heartache to see those that you love struggle with an abusive relationship, drugs, gambling, alcohol, and more. Most of the time, there is no way you can change the person’s thought, not without God’s help. So turn to God and ask for His help. Pray for someone you love who stuck in sins.
Here’s how you can pray for them…
First, pray for the Lord to be with them. One of the first things you can do is to pray that God is with the person and watch over them wherever they are. God will guide them and show them direction and lead them to a healthy life.
Second, pray for the person to start working in their lives. You must have the faith and pray that God to start working on their lives. You may not see it immediately, but you have to believe that something deep within is slowly changing and that person will eventually change and lead a new and better life. Furthermore, you can pray for God to open their heart, mind, and spirit to the love, grace, and healing that only He can bring.
And third, pray as if it has already come to pass. You must have the faith and believe that God is already working on that person and is guiding him or her to a brighter life. Give God the praise and the glory for the victory over the person’s life as if it has already happened.
How Prayer Makes Your Relationships Stronger
When you pray for someone you love to be blessed, what truly happens is that you change your thought patterns and you are actively engaging yourself with that person. Scientists have shown that when someone prays with deep beliefs, their brainwaves will go into a conversation mood as if they are talking to someone. This will ultimately shape the reality. Meaning to say, when you pray for someone or you wish him or her to be good, what really happens is you are creating the reality in your mind.
As a result, your response will change. You will start to think about that person differently and you will perceive him or her differently. And when your thinking changed, your reality will change. This is why prayer can make your relationship stronger.
Prayer is just like focusing your thought on a certain subject. When you pray for someone, you are focusing your thoughts on him. As a result, it will become a new reality and your outer life will change.
Plus, as what you have learned above, when you pray, you must also pray as if God has already made that happen. This is because you choose to believe in God and that He will hear your prayer and fulfills your request. When you believe that things will become better, you will operate from a more optimistic mindset and act as if things are working out for you instead of against you. Therefore, it builds the bond between you and the person who you prayed for.
For instance, think of someone who irritates you. it can be someone you have a strained relationship with or who just rubs you the wrong way. Now, do you pray for that person? Or do you just complain, resent, grumble, and nag? So does praying or nagging works? Yes, science has already proved this. So why do you want to nag, complain or resent? Rather, choose to pray for the people that you love and whom you want to change.
There are things in other people’s lives that you would like to change. The problem is that you cannot change them. You can only change yourself. We always want other people to change, but we simply can’t, not without the help of God. And when you turn to God and ask for His help, pray and let God do His work, you will change. The fastest way to change a bad relationship to a good one is to start praying for the other person. When you do this, it will change you, and as a result, it can change the other person.
This is just like the saying, “If you can’t fight them, join them.” There is no way you can change someone, but you can always choose to change yourself to impact other people to change. This is a vital subject in a relationship because we often deal with people who have different characteristics and habits than us. We want other people to change, but not us. And this is how prayer can help.
Prayer for Finding Love
Remember that God is almighty God and He can help and fulfill whatever you asked for. If you have no idea what to say when you pray for someone you love, here is an example for you:
“Almighty God, hear this prayer. Almighty God, hear this relationship prayer. As You are first in my heavenly heart and mind and spirit, so do I desire a companion for my earthly heart and mind and being. Guide me to the partner You know is perfect for me. Help me walk in faith until that time of our first meeting. Show me how I can become a partner worthy of love. Then guide me through every stage of our relationship, so that, as we move ever closer to You, we grow closer to each other in Love, in Joy, and in Faith. Thank You, God, for hearing my prayer. Amen!”
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How to Pray for Love
Posted on 17 January 2012. Tags: abundant life, growth, heart, listening, love, prayer comments, resource, wisdom
Last Updated on October 2nd, 2016
It does not take a scholar to see one of the guiding principles in the New Testament is a call to love. Jesus condenses all the laws of God down to two guiding principles: love God with all that you are and have and love others as you love yourself. We are to love our neighbors, love our spouses, and love our enemies (
Luke 10:27Ephesians 5:25
, and
Luke 6:27
). People will know whether we are Christians by our love (
John 13:35
). Love is of singular importance in God’s kingdom (
1 Corinthians 13:13
).
Most of us if we are honest with ourselves, know that we are lacking in love. We may have the ability to love those who love us, but somewhere between that and our enemies we falter. This is not to discourage us, but just to show us we need supernatural help to fulfill what God has asked of us. We need God’s assistance to be able to love.
How do we pray for love?
The first thing to remember is that we love because God first loved us (1 John 4:19). Any trouble we have in loving is directly tied to a lack of experience with God’s love for us.
- God open my heart to receive more love from you. Make me aware of what may be blocking my ability to receive from you.
The second thing to help you is to know that fear is the opposite of love (1 John 4:18). Your inability to love is directly related to an area of fear in your life. Are you afraid that person will hurt you, take too much of your time, or make you be someone you are not? Or, are you afraid that God will not take care of you?
- God my fears feel so real. What do you have to say about them? Lord, I choose to believe your truth over my fears. Help my unbelief.
The reason fears are so hard to overcome is that they are often rooted in a true experience. The key to removing the pain of that true experience is to have Jesus reinterpret it for you. Invite Jesus into that experience and ask Him where He was when you were going through your pain. Jesus is always with you (Matthew 28:20). If you can’t identify what Jesus was doing in your past pain, you will tend to believe He will be absent in the future causing fear. Go ahead and pursue God on this.
- Jesus, I was really hurt in the past. Can you show me what you were doing at that time? Thank You, Jesus for never leaving or forsaking me.
Finally, the final thing that can keep you from love is unforgiveness. Unforgiveness will rob you of the ability to receive love from God. Your unforgiveness can be towards someone who extremely hurt you, a teacher who picked on you at school, your parents, yourself, God, etc. Unforgiveness in any form will create a blockage between you and love. Unforgiveness is a sign of unbelief that God will take care of you.
- Lord, I confess my sin of unforgivess and choose right now to forgive this person. Thank you for your forgiveness and granting me the grace to trust that you will protect me with this person.
With these directions in hand on how to pray for love, you are now clear to receive the promised empowerment to love. The final step is to choose by faith to love. God is cheering for you. He is proud that you are working with Him on this. It is important to Him; it is important to you.
prayer-coach.com
