If you think loneliness goes away once you get married, think again. The more involved you are with your spouse, and the more you communicate, the less likely you are to be lonely. If you talk to someone else more often about your relationship than you do with your spouse, it could be a sign of trouble.
Develop your own identity and get involved in activities that interest you, such as self-enrichment classes, yoga or social functions. Also, develop a network of friends and family to help support your marriage–a key in overcoming loneliness.
Get involved in causes important to you. In addition, enrich your life by learning something new to bring fresh insight and communication to your marriage.
Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling and take time to hash out each other’s feelings about any distance in the relationship. Communication is a key in overcoming loneliness in any marriage.
Set aside time each day to focus on communicating with your partner. Start with a small item that is of interest to them. A funny story from a colleague or the newspaper can be a great conversation starter. Keep the conversation light and easy, don’t bring up problems or issues at first. Remember that the focus should be on increasing communication and feeling of closeness.
Share experiences. Go for a walk together, or join in for a favorite show or game of cards. Make your partner your primary focus of attention. Turn off all the cell phones and other distractions.
Spend time alone to think about what you are expecting from your partner. Are they aware of what you are looking for? Remember that we all grow and change over time. Perhaps your needs have changed. Discuss this with your partner. Sometimes we assume our partners know things that we haven’t communicated to them.
Keep in mind that you can only change your situation. You can’t make someone change their behaviors or attitudes about the relationship until they are ready.
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Why do I sometimes feel lonely in my marriage?
So you’re a newlywed, married to your soul mate. Life is looking perfect–and then you feel something you weren’t expecting to feel again. Ever.
You feel lonely.
How did this happen? While you and your spouse were engaged, you dreamed of all the ways you would fulfill each other’s every need. You promised each other (and yourselves) that you’d never feel lonely again. This loneliness has you in a panic; how could this happen?
We often see couples, especially newlyweds, who are struggling with feeling lonely in their marriages. This may sound surprising, but loneliness is a normal emotion that married and single people alike experience.
In today’s video, we’ll talk about loneliness in marriage and how to overcome it.
First, don’t panic. There is nothing wrong with your marriage or your spouse. Don’t allow yourself to feel anxious, afraid, or guilty; loneliness is part of life. Even though you love one another deeply, you will still go through seasons when you feel very much alone.
In order to process your own emotions, spend a little time journaling. It’s also always beneficial to pray and stay in the Word.
The two of you can reestablish some activities you enjoy doing together, or find a hobby or pastime you both enjoy. Taking a little extra time to be together will go a long way toward alleviating those lonely feelings.
It could also help you to connect with one or two of your close same-sex friends. Taking time to be with the people you love is a great antidote for loneliness.
Have you experienced loneliness in your own marriage? What are some healthy ways you and your spouse moved through that season? We’d love to hear from you in the comments section.
That for us symbolize the family, marriage? Love, acceptance, understanding, and significance for someone. Most people starting a life together, so imagine it in the future – cloudless, full of friendly feeling a strong shoulder, because his wife is no longer just lovers, they’re friends who share good and bad, give advice and empathize. But not always and not every family is able to preserve the understanding and empathy that is inherent in the first years of Dating. On the contrary, over time, the family ceases to introduce a cosy log fire, secure a stronghold, and the half that you worshipped yesterday, it seems distant and indifferent. Why even in marriage we can experience a sense of loneliness?
There are several causes of the decline of communication in the couple, which ultimately leads to a feeling of loneliness, of uselessness, the lack of fulfilment in marriage. As a rule, in women, it starts with shifting priorities in favor of children, and obsession with their obsessions, problems, against which interest and attention to the second half gradually extinguished. Men have stereotypes imposed on the family: a boy must be strong, he never cries, never complains, never asks for sympathy. The inability to speak and inability to hear the other person while expecting that he must unravel your thoughts, expands the invisible abyss. Increasingly manifest egoism, and each in a pair believes that it must understand not going first to make concessions and engage in dialogue. Another significant reason why the family lost communication is erasing the image that represented the person in love after meeting. After some time in marriage we are completely different we begin to perceive our the rug and respond to its shortcomings that were cute eccentricities.
All this contributes to the growing feeling of isolation in the family. Lack of understanding, lack of understanding and newschannel troubling thoughts, anxieties, resentment builds up like a snowball. In the end, once this couple can just start from the banal coexist based on mutual benefit in the home, or even to disperse.
What you need to do, how to return to the relationship of spouses emotional warmth and intimacy? Most couples do not seek such dissonance and distancing from each other. No wonder they say that any relationship, even the most passionate is the fire, whose flames need to be supported. The couple wave away from each other, masking the inattention and lack of interest in issues, concerns, Hobbies of the other person of his fatigue and trouble. And admit that the main reason for loneliness in marriage lies not in this, and the indifference and indifference is very hard.
However, accepting this, realizing not only blame the partner, but also their own, you can save the family and start over. Work on yourself, on your way of perceiving each other, taking their role and responsibility for the UPS and downs of a relationship. Dialogue is not easy, but it is important to make the first move, even if you are afraid that you do not understand, dismiss, insulated indifference and closing the newspaper. Tell us about your feelings about how you miss the warmth, understanding, support in even the most minor issues. But be sure to ask your loved one about his worries, anxieties. It is important to do it from the heart, without artifice. Remember, after all, surely you had common interests, the Hobbies you shared. Try to implement them, no matter how inappropriate they may seem. Don’t be afraid to show tenderness, affection – sincere care will always be greatly appreciated and properly assessed, even if initially it will not manifest externally.
“More people die from the hunger of love than from the lack of food.”
― Debasish Mridha
Do you feel lonely and unloved in marriage life? How many times have you reached out to your partner in a time of crisis, just to have her turn her back on you? Have you ever had a relationship dissipate, slowly, without ever knowing why? Do you ever lie awake in bed wondering if your partner loves you? These feelings and questions can be more than heartbreaking. In fact, they can be soul-damaging. A person who feels unloved may not just be sad or unhappy; and such feelings can lead to despair or worse.
Loneliness is a common problem among millions of people across the world. According to a study on Swedes, there is a gender difference in loneliness among married people, with women experiencing it more than men
One of the greatest perks of getting married is the whole “till death do us part” clause. Having someone who’s always got your back, a partner who’s there to listen, and a friend and lover who will cherish you through sickness and in health — or so you had hoped. Unfortunately, marriage isn’t that simple, and according to a recent study that was published in the Journal of Psycho physiology, marriage can be one of the largest sources of social stress. When expectations are not met within the union, it can lead to depression, resentment and loneliness.
Why do you feel lonely and unloved in marriage?
“They say marriages are made in heaven, but so is thunder and lightning”
If you expect your spouse to fill all the roles of best friend, emotional confident, lover, domestic partner, co-parent and your primary intellectual stimulant, you might always feel a little disappointed. Instead of relying on your spouse to fulfill all these needs to the fullest, divide those tasks among a few platonic friends. “This is a way to take some of the pressure off of the marriage and improve self-confidence too,” says Dr. Walsh. If you can start by identifying why you’re experiencing loneliness, you can move forward to the actions needed to feel better about yourself and your marriage. Here are some reasons that you may find similar to your circumstances that might be the root cause of your loneliness:
1. Bullying and terrorizing:
Your spouse thinks that he/she is all powerful. They bully you, and keep you under constant fear. Psychological and emotional abuse becomes a regular affair. You are afraid of him / her because you do not know what circumstances can invite wrath from him / her. This keeps you away from him as much as possible.
2. Hectic schedule:
A prominent reason for modern day divorces is a busy schedule of the couples. You and your man are so busy with your careers or with family matters that you hardly get any time to spend together. This creates a vacuum and time only widens that gap. When you sit back and think, you could feel the loneliness all around you.
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
– Mignon McLaughlin
3. Craving for emotional support:
Your mother is seriously ill and you are worried. However, your spouse doesn’t make an effort to ease your anxiety nor does he acknowledge the pain you are undergoing. When there is no emotional connect, there is no scope for emotional support. And when you know you will not get that from him, you prefer silence to sharing your emotions with him.
4. Rare physical intimacy:
When was the last time you got physically intimate with your husband? A naughty pinch or a warm kiss or a steamy night is not just for the body but for the mind too. The lesser you do that the wider is the gap between you two.
5. Lack of together time:
You are always surrounded by your kids or other family members. Or the family is so big that there is no time to steal a few private moments with your husband. Initially, you make an attempt to create some me-time for you both, but if that fails, you give up and eventually you feel lonely and unloved
6. Experiences from the past:
Loneliness after marriage does not always stem from your spouse. The past events or relationships in your life can also be the culprit. According to research studies, your loneliness can also be the result of the depression or fiction with your parents or siblings, and your past relationship with them. Loneliness need not always be in-your-face. It may be subtle, or you may be too busy to understand about your loneliness. So, how would you know if you are lonely in your relationship?
Signs Of Loneliness In A Marriage:
Do not ignore the gut feeling that something is off between you and your partner. We’ll tell you the signs, which you can look out for in your relationship.
1. Did you get time to be intimate with your partner?
You can’t really remember? The very fact that you are thinking about your intimacy (or the lack of it) means something is amiss in the relationship. You may not be getting intimate with him due to lack of interest, shortage of time, or lack of privacy. Whatever the reason might be, the absence of intimacy could be a sign of your loneliness.
2. You both don’t share your daily routines anymore.
You tell him what you did through the day, he tells you about his routine, and you drift into a long conversation. This is not the case with you? If your spouse simply rolls his eyes when you strike a conversation, or is busy checking his phone when you talk to him, then yes, your communication channel is not working the way it should.
3. You forget the special days.
You remember the assignment your children have to submit on Monday and the meeting you got to attend, but you do not remember your anniversary. Special days like birthdays and anniversaries bring a spark into our routines. But if you and your spouse forget such important days, it means that you no more value them or care to have that ‘spark’ in your lives.
4. Your partner doesn’t ask you for things he/she wants.
Your spouse is hesitant to come to you for help. He might try it for himself and fail but won’t approach you. But this was not the case in the past. This could indicate a change in his behavior or his attempt to depend less on you. And why would he do that? Introspect if your response is the reason for your spouse’s behavior. Loneliness is depressing, and if it due to the person you love the most, then there could be no words to describe the feelings. But why should such feelings come at all? Nip them in the bud, and you will be free of depression.
How To Avoid Loneliness In A Marriage:
You need not have to wait for the early signals of loneliness. Learn from others mistakes. Make sure you are not falling into the trap of monotony. Make a conscious effort to keep the atmosphere at home lively.
Communication is the panacea for all ills in a marriage. Talk to each other as often as possible. You need not have to search for a topic. Talk randomly and share your experiences of that day. Discuss the day’s news or converse about a topic that is of common interest to you both. Approach them from his perspective. That keeps the atmosphere at home lively.
2. Recall good times.
Watch your wedding video or your honeymoon photos. Talk about your courtship days and all the romantic outings you both went together. The naughty or silly things you secretly did without the knowledge of your family and friends. That will make you both laugh together. The couple that laughs together stays together!
4. Do small favors for each other.
Is he struggling with his necktie? Help him do it. Is he a foodie? Prepare a delicious breakfast for him. Is he stressed out at work? Help him come out of his bad mood. This will make him look up to you. He knows he can come to you for any help or with any problem. You will be his first destination in distress.
5. Understand his/her point of view.
It is not always necessary to look at things your way. Your husband could have a different opinion. You may be irritated with your mother-in-law’s interference in a party that you have organized for your husband. But he wouldn’t agree with you. Interference for you, would be love and affection for him. Stop judging! To comprehend your partner’s viewpoint, take a couple of minutes to think.
And if you thought that the above steps would help you avoid only loneliness, no. They will also help you avoid all the illnesses you get due to loneliness in a marriage.