“How do I stop letting my ego run my life?”
“How do I stop trying to control everything and let go?
“How do I stop judging myself and ruminating about what others think?”
“How do I let go of having to be right all the time?”
“How do I surrender my ego and allow myself to be guided?”
I have become present to how hurt I am and have maintained that state of being without even realizing it. It shows itself through constant sabotage, stubbornness, always wanting to make my mark and often wanting to be right. A regular know-it-all. As delightful as that might be sometimes, it is not working for me. HOW do I surrender my ego and allow myself to be guided?
The ego wounded self would love for this to be a “how.” The wounded self likes rules to follow, and would love to be able to have control over letting go and letting God. But this is an oxymoron. You cannot be trying to control something and be letting go at the same time.
It’s not about “how” — it’s about intent.
Sylvie, as long as your intent is to control your feelings, or control what others think and feel about you and the outcome of things — you will not be able to let yourself be guided. Your self-sabotage, stubbornness and having to be right are all forms of control.
When your intent is to control, your heart closes, which cuts you off from being about to access the guidance of your higher self. The big challenge in letting go and letting God is in letting go of control.
We all have many, many layers of different kinds of controlling behaviors. We can’t just let them go because often we don’t even know we are being closed and controlling.
When you shift your intent to learning about loving yourself and others, that’s when you will start becoming aware of your intent to control and the resulting controlling behaviors. By being on the path of mindfulness about your own feelings, behavior and intent, you can slowly heal the addiction to control. The less often your intent is to control, the more often your heart will be open to learning and the more you will naturally experience your higher guidance.
So, when clients ask me, “How do I hear my guidance?” my answer to them is, “What are you doing to stop yourself from hearing your guidance? What are you trying to control or avoid? How are you rejecting and abandoning yourself? Are you judging yourself, staying in your head rather than in your heart, ruminating about the outcome of things rather than being in the present moment, turning to various addictions or making someone else responsible for your feelings?”
As long as you are avoiding feeling your feelings and taking responsibility for them, by closing your heart with your controlling, addictive, self-rejecting or obsessive behaviors, you will not be able to hear your guidance.
Letting go and letting God results from the consistent practice of Inner Bonding. Spirit is always here supporting you in your highest good, but you will not be able to let go to hearing and following your higher guidance as long as your intent is to control. Any moment that you are truly open to learning about loving yourself, you will be able to access the love and wisdom that is here for you.
It’s not that it’s hard to access our higher guidance — what’s hard is letting go of control. That’s the challenge. The more you practice Inner Bonding and develop your strong, reliable loving adult self, the easier it will become for you to let go and let God.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a relationship expert, best-selling author, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® self-healing process, recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette, and featured on Oprah. To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, and join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: “Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships.” Discover SelfQuest®, a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution computer program. Phone or Skype sessions with Dr. Margaret Paul.
The bible teaches us to “cast all your cares upon me”….
Realistically, how many of us actually do this “without” trying to fix the situation ourselves? I would estimate a very low percentage. Learning to “let go” and “let God” is not as easy as it sounds, however, the bible reassures us to …”Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.” Ps 55:22 and “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
For example let’s consider Job’s trials. Job said: “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.” Job 13:15 KJV
The taunting, “Worry Syndrome”
I pose the question, if you’re in constant turmoil and worrying, why do you pray? Is it just something you do because it’s tradition? Or, do you truly seek God for peace and understanding? Forming a “real” relationship with God provides a sense of security, revelation knowledge and mostly, “a peace that surpasseth all understanding.”
The bible says to delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Ps 37:4) What we should understand mostly from this passage is the fact that there is a process of learning just how to “delight yourself in God.”
Are you willing to go through the process? If so, here are a few suggestions to get you started on your blessed journey: Pray and sincerely ask the Holy Spirit to order your footsteps as you prepare to read God’s words.
- Clear your mind of all self-thoughts of how you “think” it should be. (As Paul stated to the Corinthians in 1 Corin 14:36; “Do you think that the knowledge of God’s word begins and ends with you Corinthians? Well, you are mistaken!”)
- Be prepared to push your way through negative temptations of things like, “I don’t understand what I’m reading” or “this doesn’t make any sense” or “I don’t have time to read” or “every time I try to read the bible, I get sleepy” (well, perhaps you do but, understand that the enemy doesn’t want you to read it, speak boldly and declare the good works of the Lord that you have already conquered the enemy and you’re on your way to a victorious life in Jesus Christ!) and continue to read. (Ref: “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” Matt 26:41)
- Make it a point to read at least 3 scriptures per day. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to place these readings in your spirit so that when it’s time for you to use them, He will bring them back to remembrance.
- Don’t “try” so hard. God knows your heart. A sincere heart towards Him will produce results.
- STOP stressing. When you find yourself going to a place of stress, having tantrums or rebellious actions – STOP and ask yourself, “what do I look like to God right now?” Did you know that God knows what our needs are long before we do? Let go and let Him do what He promises all throughout His message. BUT, if you feel you must continue through a tantrum, afterwards, repent (ask for forgiveness), shake the dust and renew your mind to the will of God. Note: “Discouragement, depression, and self-pity are the result of problems and adversity for some. For others, problems are a challenge and help bring about faith, trust and victory.” 1
- Be willing to go through your storm! Pick up your cross and humbly carry it to its destination! God is able to use us for His glory when we’re willing to pursue the purpose He intended for us long ago.
- Place yourself in environments and with people that are positive and encouraging.
- Instead of the “me, oh my” syndrome, with a sincere heart, pray for others.
- “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to your own understanding.”
Did you know that doubt and faith cannot exist in the same body? For example, have you ever found yourself in a conversation saying, “I know I should be stronger than this, oh yes I have faith BUT, I’m human too, and sometimes it just gets too hard.”? The mind can sometimes be our worst weapon against self; however, the fact that we can dismiss negativity by adding positives allows us to be over comers! It is unwise (and impossible) to seek the Lord through “worldly” eyes. God is a spirit and the bible informs that we must seek Him in spirit and in truth.
Larry Burkett once said, “as Christians we are admonished to be over comers, all you need to do is ask the Lord to help you.” Scripture reference: 1 John 5:5; “Who is the one that overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.”
What a message of reassurance, Amen?
The bible is filled with such reassurance that all we have to do is trust God, know the word for yourself and to “let go and let God” do what He purposed for your life long ago.
© 2005-2015 Regina Baker
- Grab a copy of my Amazon Best Seller — book: “How To Let Go and Let God” on Amazon Kindle
Share your comments!
Father in Heaven, I give you all the praise and glory that is due to Your name. You are great and I thank You for the many blessings and marvelous works You have done. Great and Mighty are You My Lord.
I cast all my burden unto You, Father, because You care for me and You grant me the desires of my heart. As I surrender my all to You, help me to always remember that I can let go and let God.
Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Teach me, Almighty God, to not worry about the things that are beyond my control.
I know that You have already put those things into perspective for me because You are a God of hope and peace.
Let go and let God. Click To Tweet
Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Envelop me, O Jesus, with Your loving arms. Show me Your mercy, for I belong to You, in Your Kingdom.
Thank You, Holy Spirit, for giving me the opportunity everyday to learn a little more of how to let go and let God.
I trust in You, my Creator, to look over all things on my behalf. Thank You that I can call upon You wherever I am and whenever I am in need.
You are amazing! Thank You that I live in a place where I am free to worship. I can call upon You when I do not know what to say, if only to call on my Lord of Lords, Jesus!
1 Peter 5:7 – Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
Matthew 11:28 – Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Thank You Holy Spirit, for helping me learn each day a little more of how to let go and let God. Click To Tweet
Thank You for Your guidance and grace, which is always steadfast and true.
I declare that I am a Redeemed Child of the Most High God and in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray, So Be It…Amen and Amen!
Psalm 52:8 – I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.
Luke 1:37 – For nothing is impossible with God.
2 Corinthians 4:18 -So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Read also: PRAYER: LETTING GO and Prayer: Let Go of Unforgiveness
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A woman of God, a worshipper striving for excellence in ALL areas of my life!
I am a daughter, sister, wife and mother who has come to the realization that life without God is boring and empty. Through my prayers I hope to shine the light of truth and encourage others so that we can all glorify God in everything we do. I continue to relay messages that God has equipped me to write for His purpose. I hope my prayers will help you feel inspired and trust our limitless God more deeply.
Is there an ongoing problem or issue that you are struggling with?
Perhaps it’s something lying deep in your subconscious, a little nagging unrest let’s say. Or maybe you are in a situation that is really difficult, causing fear and worry.
When you’re faced with these times, the answer is to totally let go and trust God to see you through.
Trust is key in living a victorious life. So, why is trust so hard?
Letting go is scary. It means you have to trust someone to catch you. But think about how you already trust without thinking:
You trust the sun will come up,
You trust the airplane pilot will fly you safely to your destination,
You trust that the lights will come on when you flip the light switch,
You trust the grocery store will have food when you go to buy groceries.
When it comes to trusting God, we throw up our own barriers – we start saying things like:
I’m not worthy because of that mistake I made five years ago,
God helps others, he doesn’t help me,
How do I know that this help is God’s help?
On and on with doubts we go. I believe it pains God to hear us talk this way. These self-doubts also stunt our spiritual growth.
What happens when a friend expresses their doubts, fears and self-judgments to you? You assure them that they are not inadequate and you offer encouragement. It’s up to them whether they believe you.
God can’t work through us when we set up barriers. We need to change our thinking.
The story of wineskins is mentioned three times in the Gospels. I think that means, we’re supposed to pay attention.
Mark 2:22 says, “No one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and the wine is lost, and so are the skins; but one puts new wine into fresh wineskins.”
(The same story is in Matthew 9:17, and Luke 5:37.)
Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:17
“So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!”
We can’t continue with old thinking when we are a new creation. New thinking is required.
That new thinking is that we are forgiven. We are free. Paul went from fiercely persecuting Christians to becoming one of Christ’s most zealous supporters. His testimony is our greatest hope as an example to trusting God to empower us. If he could do it, certainly, we can do it.
Trust is easy when we get out of our own way. Still having trouble? Say one of my favorite prayers:
God, help me to get out of my own way. 🙂
In the verse prior Paul says, “From now on, therefore, we regard no one from a human point of view; even though we once knew Christ from a human point of view, we know him no longer that way.”
We live in a material world, but we also live in the spiritual world as we walk by faith and not by sight.
Let go and let God empower you. Trust becomes easier when you understand how much God loves you and wants only the very best for you. Think new thinking – new wineskins.
Need help trusting God, trusting yourself and trusting others? This Trust CD help you.
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