Turning the page isn’t easy. Often times we get stuck on the same page, the story that brought us so many moments of joy and love. Staying on the same page is the hope and longing that maybe they will come back, maybe things will turn out differently, maybe they will change their minds. The truth is, by continuing to stay there we miss out on the stories around us that have the potential to be as life changing as the ones we experienced. Sometimes God brings people into our lives and just like that, similar to a wind pushing them from behind, God briskly takes them away. All we can do is trust, and have faith that God is opening a new chapter in our life that is even more beautiful.
I wrote that recently after a heartbreak and one of the most difficult things in life is losing someone you truly love.
If there’s a kind of heartbreak that has been universally felt by countless people across all cultures in the world, it is the heartbreak of a breakup. There’s nothing quite like the pain of the knowledge that the one you love is no longer yours. As impossible as it may seem, there’s nothing you can truly do but come to terms with the breakup, let go of the situation, and focus on healing, so that you can move on and become a stronger person through it all.
The process is not completely dependent on you, however. It can be easy to accept all the responsibility for your healing so that you have an excuse to wallow in self-pity for however long you want.
But the truth is that God is the only one who can fill the void you feel after a breakup. He is the one who repairs our souls, and we are just the vessels He uses to make that happen. Heather Lindsey advises, “Let not make any more excuses of ‘easier said than done.’ Let’s instead say, God—I trust you.”
Letting Go…We must do all we can to help facilitate our healing, while still relying wholly on God.
Here are five ways that, according to Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen, can help us to do just that:
1. Understand that the breakup may be the best thing for you.
Grief can often cloud our judgment so much that we can’t see the bigger picture unfolding in our lives. After all, how could something as terrible and emotionally draining as this possibly play a part in God’s plan for our lives? God has been using pain to yield glory since the beginning of time, and He continues to do so in our lives today.
Despair teaches us to hope. Suffering teaches us to rejoice. When we realize that our situations shape us in ways we cannot see, it becomes easier to accept the hurt now, if only to grow later.
2. Accept that you did the best you could in your relationship.
After a breakup, it can be tempting to pin the blame on the likeliest victim, even if it’s yourself. But this reaction solves nothing; it only stirs up all kinds of negativity and regrets that need to be resolved if you are ever to move on. The end of a relationship is not your fault; it was part of an uncontrollable series of events that, believe it or not, God is using to build you up in faith. The sooner you reach acceptance, the better.
3. Decide what needs to change in your life.
If we become self-absorbed in depression, we can become stagnant in our walk with Christ and in our lives in general. We may not even mean to; it is simply the natural effect of a life-altering event. It is more than okay to break down, to think about what happened, to feel, for lack of a better term, sad. But eventually, when you are ready to heal, you have to make a change. You have to shift your attention from the breakup to something much more enjoyable and fulfilling to engage in.
4. Accept your lack of control.
The most frustrating part to come to terms with is, without a doubt, the fact that all of this is happening, and you cannot control it. No matter how many texts you send, how many tears you shed, how many times you try to bargain with God, the damage has already been done. Even if you do manage to beg your love back, your heart cannot be as it was before. You can’t change what has already happened, and you cannot change someone else’s mind. Instead of trying, focus on things that you can change, like your own outlook on life and dependence on God.
5. Get spiritually refreshed.
Of course, the one thing that remains constant in every trial is the steadfast love of Jesus Christ. He is the remedy for every single aftershock of this massive earthquake called a breakup. He has experienced every struggle you can name; loneliness, frustration, sadness, betrayal, and even death. He knows that despite the trouble of this world, true joy can be found in following Him.
If you feel dead inside, chances are that you need to be spiritually refreshed. If you haven’t been going to church, why not get back in the habit? Read the Word, and pray constantly.
Table of contents
My Personal Experience:
When I moved out to California I did so for my ex-girlfriend. I loved her a lot, I had plans to marry her and I did my very best to make our relationship work but in the end it wasn’t enough. When she broke up with me for another guy, I was devastated.
I had no friends or support because all of my friends were basically her friends. I was honestly all alone. So what did I do?
Besides going through a storm of thoughts (What’s wrong with me? What did I do? What could I have done differently?) and emotions (sadness, fear, anger), I turned to the only one who I had, God. Over the next 6 months I decided to dedicate myself to the most important relationship we’ll ever know, our relationship with God.
As I look back now, I realize that it was during that time period that I have never felt closer to God. Despite the pain that would come and go and then come right back again, I also was filled with an unmistakeable peace and joy knowing that I wasn’t alone through this and that I could trust that God had a plan for me.
The truth is, sometimes relationships don’t work no matter how hard we try because God simply wants us to be closer to Him. Its not easy, its painful, its terrifying to let go but I can assure you that when you truly experience God’s peace in your life, when you take that first step or when your down on your knees and have nothing left to give, that is when God rescues us.
Freedom is found only in surrender. Jeanne Doyon puts it this way:
With that step of faith, he will reveal his power in us and through us to handle whatever comes our way.
What has your experiences been like with a break up? Has it helped you move closer to God?
Blessings,
Peter
Comments
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Данный перевод песни на русском языке является художественным, т.е. перевод недословный. Чтобы узнать дословный перевод песни, можете наводить мышкой на английские слова.
So help me God
You sit beside me
And I love you
But I hate you
I don’t want to feel this way
But I can’t stop
You reach for my hand
But I move it
Before you can
I won’t let you have the
Power once again
So help me, God
To let this go
To let this go
So help me, God
(Become what I believe)
To break this hold
(I’m afraid to leave)
To find myself
(I just need to breathe)
You think you know me
But you changed me
Into somebody
That I don’t ever want to be again
I’m letting go now
Of this burden
I’ve been holding
I’ve been hurting myself now for way too long
So help me, God
To let this go
To let this go
So help me, God
(Become what I believe)
To break this hold
(I’m afraid to leave)
To find myself
(I just need to breathe)
It’s not too late
It’s not too late
To leave it all behind
It’s not too late
It’s not too late
So help me, God
To let this go
To let this go
So help me, God
(Become what I believe)
To break this hold
(I’m afraid to leave)
To find myself
(I just need to breathe)
Так помоги же мне, Боже
Ты сидишь рядом со мной,
И я люблю тебя,
Но одновременно ненавижу.
Я не хочу чувствовать себя так,
Но не могу остановиться.
Ты касаешься моей руки,
Но я убираю её,
Прежде чем ты дотронешься.
Я не позволю тебе
Снова овладеть мной.
Так помоги же мне, Боже,
Отпустить,
Отпустить.
Так помоги же мне, Боже,
(Я становлюсь тем, во что верю)
Разорвать эти цепи,
(Я боюсь умереть)
Найти себя.
(Мне просто необходимо дышать)
Ты думаешь, что знаешь меня,
Но меня ты перевоплотил
В кого-то,
Кем я никогда не захочу быть снова.
Я освобождаюсь
От этого груза.
Я всё выдерживала
И причиняла себе боль слишком долго.
Так помоги же мне, Боже,
Отпустить,
Отпустить.
Так помоги же мне, Боже,
(Я становлюсь тем, во что верю)
Разорвать эти цепи,
(Я боюсь умереть)
Найти себя.
(Мне просто необходимо дышать)
Ещё не поздно,
Ещё не поздно
Оставить всё позади.
Ещё не поздно,
Ещё не поздно.
Так помоги же мне, Боже,
Отпустить,
Отпустить.
Так помоги же мне, Боже,
(Я становлюсь тем, во что верю)
Разорвать эти цепи,
(Я боюсь умереть)
Найти себя.
(Мне просто необходимо дышать)
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Bible verses about letting go
Letting go is one of the hardest things to do. It’s so easy to try to hold on to things, but we must trust that our Lord has something better. Letting go of a relationship, hurt, fear, past mistakes, sin, guilt, slander, anger, failures, regrets, worry, etc. is easier when we realize that God is in control.
Realize that God has allowed and used these things and these people in your life to build you up. Now you must move on towards Him.
What God has in store for you is never in the past. He has something better than that relationship. He has something greater than your worries and your fears.
He has something greater than your past mistakes, but you must trust in Him, stand strong, let go, and keep on moving to see what God has in store for you.
Quotes about letting go
- “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” – C.S. Lewis.
- “Decisions sometimes prove to be the hardest to make, especially when it’s a choice between where you should be and where you really wanted to be.”
- “Let God have your life; He can do more with it than you can.” Dwight L. Moody
- “It hurts to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on.”
- “Let go of the past so that God can open the door to your future.”
- “When you finally let go something better comes along.”
- “To heal your wound you need to stop touching it.”
Set your eyes upon Christ.
Sometimes we hold on to things such as unhealthy relationships and doing our own will because we think to ourselves maybe there will be a change. We still hold on to hope in things other than God. We put our hope in relationships, situations, our mind, etc.
You can strengthen that desire to hold on to things that God doesn’t want in your life by constantly picturing it in your life and imagining how it would be and how you think it should be.
You can train yourself and say, “God wants this for me.” What you are doing is making it harder on yourself to let go. Stop looking to all of these different things and instead look to the Lord. Keep your mind on Christ.
1. Proverbs 4:25-27 Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.
2. Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
3. Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
Don’t trust in those thoughts that might come to your head. That is leaning on your own understanding. Trust in the Lord. Allow Him to control. Don’t allow your thoughts to control you.
4. Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
5. Psalm 62:8 Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
You will never do God’s will when you are living in the past.
Looking back will distract you from what is in front of you. The devil will try to remind us of our past mistakes, sins, failures, etc.
He will say, “you messed up now you messed up God’s plan for you.” Satan is a liar. You are where God wants you to be. Don’t dwell on the past, keep moving forward.
6. Isaiah 43:18 “But forget all that–it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.”
7. Philippians 3:13-14 Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus.
8. 1 Corinthians 9:24 Do you not know that all the runners in a stadium compete, but only one receives the prize? So run to win.
9. Job 17:9 the righteous shall move onward and forward; those with pure hearts shall become stronger and stronger.
We have to let go. Sometimes the things we are holding on to will harm us in ways we don’t even understand and God is protecting us. God sees what you don’t see and He sees what we refuse to see.
10. Proverbs 2:7-9 he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints. Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path.
11. 1 Corinthians 13:12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.
Give your hurt to God.
I never said letting go wouldn’t be painful. I never said you wouldn’t cry, you wouldn’t have hurt, you wouldn’t feel confused, etc. I know personally that it hurts because I had to let go of doing my will before. I had to let go of people’s sins against me.
No one understands the pain that you are feeling at the moment except for you and God. That is why you must bring your pain to God. Sometimes the pain hurts so much that you can’t even speak. You have to speak with your heart and say, “God you know. Help! Help me!” God knows the disappointment, frustration, the pain, and the worry.
Sometimes you have to cry out for this special peace that He gives in prayer to help you cope with the situation. It is this special peace that has given me a sound mind and contentment in my situation time and time again. It is like Jesus is giving you an everlasting hug that helps you recover. Like a good father He lets you know that everything is going to be OK.
12. Philippians 4:6-7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
13. John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it fear.
14. Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke on you and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and my load is not hard to carry.
15. 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Why stress yourself by dwelling on the past?
16. Matthew 6:27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
God allows these situations to build us up, help us grow in faith, and prepare us for something better.
17. Romans 8:28-29 And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose, because those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.
18. James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Holding on to the anger and the bitterness will hurt you more than anyone.
19. Ephesians 4:31-32 You must put away all bitterness, anger, wrath, quarreling, and slanderous talk—indeed all malice. Instead, be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.
Sometimes letting go requires us to repent. Pray for forgiveness. God is faithful to forgive and pour out His love upon you.
20. Hebrews 8:12 For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.
21. Psalm 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
22. Psalm 25:6-7 Remember, O LORD, thy tender mercies and thy lovingkindnesses; for they have been ever of old. Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions: according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness’ sake, O LORD.
You must remember that God loves you greatly.
It is so hard to understand God’s great love for us when we look in the mirror and see our past failures. God loves you so much. Pray for better understanding of His love. His love for you is greater than your regret and pain. Never doubt His love for you. His love is key in letting go.
23. 2 Thessalonians 3:5 May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ.
24. Jude 1:21-22 keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life. Be merciful to those who doubt.
Let go of your worry, the Almighty God is in control.
25. Psalm 46:10-11 Let go of your concerns! Then you will know that I am God. I rule the nations. I rule the earth. The LORD of Armies is with us. The God of Jacob is our stronghold.
Continually pray for wisdom, pray for guidance, pray for peace, and pray that God helps you to let go.
Bonus
Revelation 3:8 I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.
biblereasons.com
Представленный перевод песни Fireflight – So help me God на русский язык не претендует на дословную точность. Текст и слова песни являются собственностью их авторов.
So help me God You sit beside me So help me, God To let this go You think you know me But you changed me So help me, God To let this go It’s not too late It’s not too late So help me, God To let this go |
Так помоги же мне, Боже Ты сидишь рядом со мной, Так помоги же мне, Боже, Отпустить, Ты думаешь, что знаешь меня, Но меня ты перевоплотил Так помоги же мне, Боже, Отпустить, Ещё не поздно, Ещё не поздно Так помоги же мне, Боже, Отпустить, |
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